I'm heading back to work part time from home Jan 4th, and my (young) grandma had offered to watch our daughter the one day a week I'm going into the office. She offered while I was still pregnant, and we made sure she was still okay with it about a month ago, giving her an out in case she offered without really thinking about it. She said she was so excited, and we planned to drop LO off with her Monday mornings. Then, things unravelled bit by bit:
1. She told me she can't watch her every second Monday of the month because she has an obligation. I said no problem, we will work something out. 2. She isn't comfortable watching her early in the morning because she doesn't get up that early, so we would need to drop her off at 10 (not ideal) 3. She didn't have a place for her to sleep, and asked if she could sleep on her bed. I said no, since LO sleeps on her tummy and needs to just be in a crib. I bought her a pack and play for her house. She said she can't reach down and pick her up out of it. She would need help, and said she would have her boyfriend over to help her. My husband and I don't trust her boyfriend with our daughter. We both get a gut feeling, as have other family members. I literally have an eagle on on him every time he holds her (which he wants to do a lot!). We also had a very close friend arrested this year for sexual misconduct with minors, which has rattled me to the core and caused me to really evaluate who gets to be around our daughter alone. She also said she might get help from her (female) friend, who we know and trust. 4. When I was pregnant, I didn't realize how much STUFF a baby needs! Imagining bringing over her sound machine, monitor, toys, books, clothing, stroller, etc. every time she is with my grandma sounds exhausting and not helpful. 5. We don't actually NEED her to babysit, since my dad has now offered to help once a week. But, it would still be helpful if the above things weren't an issue.
My husband and I talked about it, and we ended up telling my grandma that we feel it would be easier for us, my grandma, and our daughter if she watched her at our house (which is a 10 minute drive for her). Then, we told her that we didn't want ANY men other than my husband or my dad at the house while she watches our daughter. She can have women friends help and visit if we know them, but no men. Obviously, we also said that while we would love for her to watch our daughter, she is under no obligation to.