Co-Sleeping

cmac827 · January 2016

Do you plan on co-sleeping with your baby? Why or why not and if so for how long?

I want to and DH is totally against it. I wanted to use a co-sleeper that you put in the bed, but he says no way. He did finally say I could have a basinet in the bedroom on my side for the first 2-3 months.

mkemommy · January 2016

I don't plan on co-sleeping with baby in the same bed but I will have a bassinet or pack'n'play with the little bassinet sleeper attachment in the room for the first few months. I am a light sleeper but H isn't and he has hit me in his sleep before (on accident obviously) so no baby in the bed.

lm45678 · January 2016

I would not co-sleep unless it was one of those bassinets/cribs that attaches to the side of the bed so there is no possibility of rolling over onto baby- and once baby can roll over it would have to stop.

This is something I feel strongly about, and it may be a UO but I think co-sleeping is incredibly unsafe except with certain types of beds/cribs. (See pic)

I used to be a mother/baby nurse and I have seen horrific things come from co-sleeping.

colesmom33 · January 2016

With my son, he slept in a bassinet next to our bed until he was about 3 months old, then we moved him into his crib. When he was that little, I had heard so many horror stories about rolling over on him. Then at about 6 months, he got RSV and I was so nervous, I brought him into our bed. But it has been nightmare ever since to get him back into his own bed! I hate the idea of making him cry it out but now he's so used to our bed!

With these babies, I'm holding strong to no co-sleeping! I don't want to go through what I have with my son. Plus there are two of them, so that makes it harder!!

goldie987 · January 2016

We plan to room share but not bed share (both technically types of co-sleeping). We already bought a packnplay with a bassinet insert to keep next to the bed for the first few months and then we'll transition them to their own room. You get many of the alleged benefits of bed sharing without any of the associated risks, seems like a win-win to me.

VikingGirl12 · January 2016

We didn't cosleep until DS was 9 months old and got horribly sick with pneumonia. Since then we will let him in our bed occasionally. I couldn't do it, I was scared I'd roll onto him.

ahernandez16 · January 2016

We're planning on room sharing. We live in a one bedroom apartment so baby will be in our room, but in his own crib. Both DH and I are heavy sleepers so I don't think either of us would wake up if we rolled over on him and that terrifies me.

crdo · January 2016

What @laurenm2123 said.

We plan to have a bassinet or something in our room at first, then transition to the crib in the nursery.

Rosehip15 · January 2016

I co-slept with both my older ones until about 2 years & 1 year, respectively. I've used various arrangements, including the crib strapped to the bed, etc. Having to physically get out of bed during the night would make everything just that much harder for me. It worked really well, and I'll do it again, this time with a co-sleeper from my SIL. There are lots of variations, and every family finds their own groove.

In case you're interested, a good site from a lab at Notre Dame that studies mother-infant sleep.
https://cosleeping.nd.edu/

SouthernVOL · January 2016

We used a bassinet for many months. It was just so much easier to reach over to put a pacifier back in than to drag myself out of bed to check on DD. DD was in the bassinet until she was too big, then we moved to the crib.

I second the "no bed sharing" thing. It's unsafe. I do believe that even those special bassinets made specifically to fit in your adult bed should be banned. Not for safety, but for the sake of your marital relationship. If baby is constantly between you and DH, then an invisible barrier may start to form between you as well. Keep baby in his/her bed beside you, leave your bed to be a haven for you and DH.

CourtJack · January 2016

I have no problem with women who want to co-sleep. It's just not for me. DD slept between us for the first two nights I guess? It just felt instinctually what needed to happen. But then she was in a bassinet right beside my side of the bed for 3ish months and then she moved to her own room in her crib. I can't imagine having a newborn in another room right away.

Diesel615 · January 2016

Co-sleeping terrifies me. My husband is a heavy sleeper and has accidentally hit me several times in his sleep, and he's a big guy so he takes up a lot of the bed. So it just wouldn't work. We do plan on the baby sleeping in a pack'n'play with a bassinet next to the bed though.

cdnvb4 · January 2016

We will not have the baby in our bed (for the reasons others have stated) and will likely not even have the baby in our room. DS started in a pack 'n' play in our bedroom. Then he was moved to the hallway. Then he made his way to the living room (the closest room to ours). And finally, we moved him to his room. This baby will likely just start in his crib in his own room. I found that I couldn't sleep with DS's movements and little noises (which I could still hear even when he was in the hallway and the living room) and the sleep deprivation hit me hard. I know others find that having the baby close helps with sleep deprivation. But for me, the convenience of having DS close was offset by all of the newborn noise that kept me up.

purplefan1 · January 2016

We will room share but not bed share. I have friends who are firefighters and can't stand the bed sharing for the aftermath that they see. We also already bed share with our dogs (husband was allowing them in before I met him) so its already crowded. I don't want to do one of those attach on things because I have a tendency to knock pillows off throughout the night and wouldn't want a pillow to land on the baby and smother the poor thing. We are going with pack n play to start and seeing how baby sleeps in that.

mamabird24 · January 2016

We have a bassinet that both DD's have used until either we moved her to her crib (DD1) or she could push herself up and it wasn't safe (DD2). DD1 was in her own crib/room by 3 months because I went to back to work and needed her to. DD2 however, stayed in our room until almost a year (or maybe just after, I can't remember) She was in the bassinet and then her crib that we somehow crammed into our room, but would usually end up in bed with us because when she would wake up to nurse, we would nurse side laying and just fall back asleep. I never really fell into a deep sleep anytime the girls were in bed with us and we never had any problems. This time I'm sure the same thing will happen, but a friend has a co-sleeper that attaches to the side of the bed that she said we could have and that would be awesome. I know the risks with co-sleeping and I know others are against it, but it worked for us.

DeePaddy24 · January 2016

We will not be having the baby in our bed. For the first little while we will have a bassinet in our room, but I'm hoping to make the transition into the crib after a few weeks. I personally don't feel comfortable co-sleeping with the baby in bed with us...& I want that time to just be for me. Plus, I sleep so terribly as it is, I'd never get any rest if I was constantly worried about rolling onto the baby.
Andplusalso, my dog already thinks she owns our bed. Even though it's a king there is really no room for anyone else, lol.

PressLove · January 2016

We definitely will be room-sharing. We'll use the bassinet portion of the PnP again. The PnP has been one of the best gifts we have received.

adiaz132003 · January 2016

We put a co sleeper on our registry but I plan on using it for if we travel. I wanna get them used to their crib. Hubby and I move a lot at night, I don't wanna risk tipping it. I don't mind walking to their room for feelings.

ahernandez16 · January 2016

For you guys opting to use Pack n Play bassinets, do you plan on transitioning to a crib when baby is too big for the bassinet or do you plan on just moving them into the whole Pack n Play? I've considered this option to hold off on buying a crib right away to save space.

mkemommy · January 2016

@ahernandez16 - I plan on transitioning to a crib from the PnP bassinet and just using the PnP for travel and around the house when kiddo is a little older. My plan, however, is to buy a crib that will transition into a bed for the child as he/she grows though so I get more use out of it.

BlueJuice · January 2016

We room-share for sure for the first 3-6 months, with a cradle close by my side of the bed. In practice we will also do some bed-sharing, because I nurse in bed at night.

I feel that bed-sharing, if you're going to do it, has to be something that both parents (in two-parent households) are totally on board with, otherwise it's going to lead to problems. I personally don't sleep as well with a child in my bed (probably because I don't sleep as deeply, and at a certain point I think the baby senses my immediately adjacent milk and actually wakes up for more night feedings than she otherwise would), so I can totally see a father being concerned about the quality of his sleep deteriorating as well. New parenthood is a rough time where sleep is concerned anyway, so if bed-sharing is stressful or means poor sleep quality for either parent, it's reasonable to opt for something else. Safe bed-sharing also requires certain accommodations on the part of the adults (removing animals from the sleeping equation, limiting the bedding, committing to not coming to bed under the influence of drugs or alcohol), so it really has to be something that everybody consents willingly to.

BPaisley · January 2016

I think it all depends on the baby for me. With my first, I accidentally started co-sleeping by bringing him in bed to nurse and then falling asleep. He would usually start the night in the Arm's Reach bassinet, but would wind up in bed with me and co-slept for first year and a half. It worked best for us. He slept on my arm and I just developed into a light sleeper and any movement woke me immediately.

With my second, he went in his crib pretty early and slept great. On desperate nights when he wasn't cooperating, I'd try to co-sleep and that would make him more mad. It just didn't work for him. And I kind of prefer it that way! But I'll get a feel for this baby and I'll do whatever seems right for her, honestly. But I definitely sleep better when they are in their crib! DS1 just hated his crib with a fiery passion.

You can and should certainly plan for what you want/prefer to do, but you never know how your baby will be or what you may be willing to do in sleep deprived desperation

carrieandbabybean · January 2016

I also considered bed-sharing but the cons really outweigh the pros. You and the hubs will lose sleep. You can't move freely and you will always be worrying that you or your DH might roll onto the baby. Keeping the baby in your room, however, is a great idea. You don't want to walk halfway across the house to feed in the middle of the night (because that WILL be happening for a while). You also want the assurance that the baby is okay - also hard to know if baby too far from you.

I'm getting one of these Arm's Reach Co-Sleepers (with wheels for moving around the house!):

https://www.walmart.com/ip/23990884?wmlspartner=wlpa&adid=22222222227019318564&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=c&wl3=40341008312&wl4=&wl5=pla&wl6=78299002352&veh=sem

Wyattnash00 · January 2016

ahernandez16 said:

For you guys opting to use Pack n Play bassinets, do you plan on transitioning to a crib when baby is too big for the bassinet or do you plan on just moving them into the whole Pack n Play? I've considered this option to hold off on buying a crib right away to save space.

We have a small space too, we used the bassinet part to the pnp for 2-3 months, baby was small, then moved him into the pnp foe another 3 months, I joked that we didn't need a crib for the first year. Mother I slowly transitioned DS first with nap times then overnight, more for me then him. You can definitely hold off!

MDKC14 · January 2016

With DS I told myself I wouldn't cosleep for safety reasons. But then it turned out to be the best option for the both of us sanity wise. I'm a light sleeper and our bed is big enough that he isn't close to me.
Do what you are comfortable with and that works out the best for your family. With this one I'd like to not cosleep but we'll play it by ear again and go from there.

We tried a bassinet but he kept rolling into the side and I worried about him being able to breathe. Laying next to me he doesn't move at all.

WinniethePoohsPants · January 2016

I have nothing against co-sleeping. I think it makes complete sense especially if your BFing. I however didn't with my DS and probably wont with my this LO either simply due to the fact that I think I sleep better with baby in the crib next to my bed. I've known plenty of fantastic mothers who've co-slept. It's just not for me.

harrisbaby2016 · January 2016

We are using a bassinet next to our bed until he or she out grows it. Then we will transition into a crib in his or her own room.

Boonhilde · January 2016

I still co-sleep with our almost 3yrold. I love it. Honestly, DH isn't the one nursing all night. Getting out of bed all night is THE WORST. We don't nurse anymore, but it's still awesome to not have to worry about him. (I'm a worrier.)

We did have to upgrade from a queen to a king though, and it poses problems when we travel sometimes. But we adapt and life goes on.

Corts · January 2016

I'm putting a cradle right next to my bed.

mrsschmity · January 2016

I'm a FTM so I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing or what to expect. Thinking about what I want right now, I would prefer to go straight to having baby sleep in a crib in his/her own room (directly next to our bedroom). However, I know things don't always go as planned, so I can't say that will for sure be what we do.

I absolutely do NOT feel comfortable with bed sharing though. I would be way too paranoid of one of us rolling over baby. I still don't know how I feel about room sharing, as I would like to keep our bedroom a private place for DH and I, but I would be open to it for the first few months I think.

Ultimately, I think we're just going to have to wing it and play it by ear to see what works best for our family.

tslmom87 · January 2016

We've bed shared with both our current kids and this one will be in our bed as well. It's what works for us so we will keep at it.

amidavey06 · January 2016

We didn't plan on bed sharing with our DS but she hated sleeping in the bassinet next to our bed. I co slept with her and honestly it was so much easier. It was easy to keep her tucked to me and breast feed her whenever she needed it. I felt like I got more sleep doing that than trying to put her back in the bassinet.

She also only slept on my chest. It was seriously the only way I could get her to sleep for more than 30 minutes. I'll keep a napper near our bed with this baby but I'm considering co sleeping to make breast feeding more accessible.

on3in2015 · January 2016

I agree its defiantly best to decide once you meet your little one, what works for one child may not work for another. With my daughter she would not sleep in our bed. My daughter is just more independent and didn't have a "need" to be near us through the night. My son however from day one would sleep through the night but only if he was in the bed. When he did occasionally wake up at night to nurse all I had to do was put him on the breast and we would both fall back asleep. I didn't even have to stay awake while he ate and for me that was great. I get terrible migraines when I don't get enough sleep. Not having to wake up for however long just to feed him then go put him back in his crib was worth the cosleeping.

MynaBird · January 2016

We'll do a bassinet and/or pack 'n' play in our bedroom to begin with, both because it makes feeding easier and because of the research that says room sharing during the first six months can reduce SIDS risk by as much as 50 percent. I brought our first into bed just once or twice when she was an infant, and it terrified me, although now that she's older I will occasionally curl up with her in the guest room if she's sick or feeling needy. I definitely don't get great sleep those nights. Mostly, though, we've been really fortunate that she's always been a good sleeper on her own. My husband is terrified that this one won't be a good sleeper. I don't function well when I'm exhausted.

RMLandy · January 2016

I don't co-sleep 1) safety reasons and 2) I don't want to deal with the transition to their own bed or, in the alternative, having a child in my bed for many years to come. The few hours at night after my son goes to bed are the best hours of my day for my husband and I to spend time together, watch TV/read together in bed or do other bedroom activities that would not occur if there were a child there. I can't imagine not having that "grown up" space and time.

stisnd6 · January 2016

I've seen those cosleepers that go in the bed, but I'm still on the fence. I am a heavy sleeper, I know that might change when my instincts kick in, but I'm still to afraid of the idea of rolling over on baby. I might get a bassinet in the room though

angelicfiress · January 2016

cmac827 said:
Do you plan on co-sleeping with your baby? Why or why not and if so for how long?
I want to and DH is totally against it. I wanted to use a co-sleeper that you put in the bed, but he says no way. He did finally say I could have a basinet in the bedroom on my side for the first 2-3 months.

I haven't read all the comments so I apologize if I'm repeating anything just to clarify something
Co-sleeping is when baby sleeps in same room different bed
Bedsharing - same room same bed

I'm in Canada and our health system recommend cosleeping for the first year baby on its back in crib. They are against bedsharing as there is certain risks that are associated with bed sharing now saying that

I bedshare with my son he is now 2 yo have been since he was born we breastfed, used a pacifier and do not smoke. We also practice safe bedsharing (e.g no heavy blankets or pillows near baby when he was a newborn we only used a receiving blanket and his face was down by my chest as its not safe to have them face to face with you) our lungs are stronger and can literally suck the breathe outta their lungs.

This is something to discuss further with bf as he needs to be comfortable with it find out why he doesn't want to. Even if you just cosleep find our the info for your area they may recommend 1 year as well.

hockeyfan42 · January 2016

mrsschmity said:
I'm a FTM so I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing or what to expect. Thinking about what I want right now, I would prefer to go straight to having baby sleep in a crib in his/her own room (directly next to our bedroom). However, I know things don't always go as planned, so I can't say that will for sure be what we do.

I absolutely do NOT feel comfortable with bed sharing though. I would be way too paranoid of one of us rolling over baby. I still don't know how I feel about room sharing, as I would like to keep our bedroom a private place for DH and I, but I would be open to it for the first few months I think.

Ultimately, I think we're just going to have to wing it and play it by ear to see what works best for our family.

This. I would never consider bed sharing and DD was in her crib from day one. However, if it just absolutely won't work this time, we'll see about room sharing for a brief period.

laurendiaz02 · January 2016

We will not be co-sleeping and the baby will not be in our room. The nursery is next to the master bedroom so baby will be there from day 1 with a baby monitor.

little_bren · January 2016

I would not cosleep with a baby. Also, we were very uninterested in cosleeping but ended up doing it for about a year from 1-2yrs bc DD wouldn't sleep otherwise and it's sucked breaking her of it.

Shawny314 · January 2016

I am a first time mother. I work as a social worker and we preach to parents not to cosleep. Based on what people have said, bedsharing is my major concern. I attended a funeral for a 6 month old this week who passed prior to christmas due to co-sleeping. I cant see myself co-sleeping, it makes me too nervous.

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