@MrsPloehn that sounds absolutely awful. Eek! @chanfa my BFF is child-free by choice but LOVES entertaining and throwing parties. She asked me if she could throw a "sprinkle" for me, which I refused. However, I'm thinking of maybe allowing her to help plan a sex reveal party. We moved into our 1st home over the summer but never had a house-warming so it would be a good excuse to have people over. I would NOT suggest people wear a color or bring a gift or anything like that. Just an excuse to have people over and recognize Baby #2 in a special way. .... thoughts from the peanut gallery? [I agree with the idea that the reveal is not that important to people in general. I just want to see my friends!]
ETA: we were Team Green with #1 so I'm SUPER EXCITED to find out this time
@MotherOfDucks The midwife should take care of the cleanup. That's part of what you pay them for.
They actually do. And I put a shower curtain under a sheet over my other sheets on my bed. In case I decide to give birth there. I actually like to lay down in labor. I have the birth ball and I walk around etc. But I totally prefer laying on my side in bed to having a birth tub or squatting or any of that "more natural" stuff that you can really only do at home. I just enjoy being at home because I find hospital stuff unbelievably irritating when I'm in pain. I'd like to give birth alone in a dark corner like a wild animal, honestly.
I personally feel like its ok to have sprinkle especially if the second baby is the opposite sex of the first one. Maybe just bring clothes and diapers. If family wants to buy you another car seat or something I feel like that is ok. My gf has a sprinkle for her second one, actually her MIL made her have one, but it was nice because she got clothes for her girl and diapers. Also just because you have one baby already does not mean that you should have everything you need for the second one. Depending on the age you may need another car seat or crib. Not everything that was used for the first baby can be used for the second, depending on age.
Married: August 2012
TTC #1: July 2015
BFP 1: October 30, 2015; EDD: July 6, 2016- Team Pink
What about baby showers for the 2nd that ask guests NOT to bring gifts and maybe books for their children OR just show up and have fun? Are those okay?
Most of my friends are FTMs and no one has ever thrown a second one, so I'm not sure how to feel! I guess I am okay with either situation I mentioned above. However if they do ask for more clothes, I would definitely be wondering where the clothes from the first baby went.
@chanfa I guess I should clarify 2nd showers with big gifts involved. I totally get it if you are excited for a friend/family member and want to buy a cute little outfit or something, but I think that creating a registry for the purposes of people buying for a 2nd shower (after people have bought you items for baby #1) just doesn't sit right with me.
I didnt like being the center of attention at my shower but I didn't mind that people bought stuff for us because we have bought stuff for all of them. I don't like a shower for #2 unless they are several years apart (like 7 years). That being said I have no shame in asking my parents for things for 2.0.
On the shower subject. I know a lot of people do diaper raffles or a book instead of a card. I don't have a problem with either. What I do have a problem with is people who ask for both. I just got an invite to my husband's cousin's shower and it requested that you bring both a box of diapers and a book. All I'm think is... and you want me to buy you a gift too? Looks like your getting just an outfit (maybe 2 if I'm feeling generous) to go with your book and diapers.
My UO is that I hate when people refuse to educate their kids about the proper terms for their body. If a child is calling their vagina a "front butt" something is wrong.
I also think showers are awkward but are worth the social punishment for the end result. I ended up having 4 wedding showers (I only wanted one) and the stuff we got are things I never would have bought for myself, mainly because I enjoy giving more than receiving. Also most of my family is divorced and seperated so that is why I had two family showers. I work with all women and they love showers so I was lucky to enjoy one from them, and my students threw me a surprise shower which was super cute! Not all of the showers included a huge gift giving moment, it was more just spending the time with the people who are important in my life. That being said nothing was more embarrassing then when my MIL interrupted the gift unwrapping portion of the shower to whisper in my ear that she hadn't brought a gift and would come up with something later. All 40 people there suddenly felt just as awkward as me.
@jlgriff11 most times I agree with your thoughts but you broke my heart with the hatred towards pbj. I had to give up pb and bacon due to the heartburn and it's been rough lol.
My UO is that I hate when people refuse to educate their kids about the proper terms for their body. If a child is calling their vagina a "front butt" something is wrong.
I mean, if we want to be technical about it, we should all be saying vulva, since vagina is the internal portion.
My UO is that I hate when people refuse to educate their kids about the proper terms for their body. If a child is calling their vagina a "front butt" something is wrong.
I mean, if we want to be technical about it, we should all be saying vulva, since vagina is the internal portion.
I'm glad I wasn't the only person who thought this. We need a better word to encompass the "whole shebang." Because yeah... vagina is from the Latin root for sheath. And vulva would describe the outer portion. But I refuse to use something like "yoni."
I LOVE baby showers! Invite me to your baby shower and I will happily try baby food, sniff peanut butter diapers, and buy you something pricey off your registry! So far I'm having 2 baby showers- 1 with my family because they're enormous, and MIL wants her own for her friends and family where she'll have more of the spotlight which I honestly feel is reasonable. She's very excited and as much as I only tolerated her before, I'm really loving her enthusiasm for being a grandma. I didn't realize how much people love my baby would affect how I feel about them so much, but it really does. The more you love my baby, the more I love you!
UO: As much as I LOVE baby showers, that's how much I HATE wedding showers. You're not getting a wedding shower gift AND wedding gift! Everybody gets ONE! Also who the hell doesn't live together before getting married in this day and age? I think that's just really not smart- living together is HARD at first and should be sorted out before marriage which has its own challenges.
@Nerdchild I'm ok with adults using slang, I do it all the time, mainly cooch and vag lol. I just hate when people make their kids fear their own body.
I have no problem if people start threads to ask a random question or get advice even if it may "fit" better in another thread. You must use the search function to ensure your question has not already been asked before for this opinion to apply.
@Nerdchild I'm ok with adults using slang, I do it all the time, mainly cooch and vag lol. I just hate when people make their kids fear their own body.
I had to learn the slang terms later in life. My mom insisted on using the clinical terms for everything. I also don't remember a time when I wasn't aware of what sex was and exactly where babies came from. I got in trouble in second grade for correcting a classmate that no, a gigantic bird was NOT bringing them a sibling. I've always had pretty healthy ideas about sex and my body, so I guess my mom did something right!
It says a lot about our primal lizard brains that food and sex are so intertwined. Using food terms for sex organs, or naming food (or booze) after sex acts, I just love combining two great things!
My UO is no we don't need a bunch of random threads which is why there is a thread entitled random! Like there is no need for a thread about a dog eating underwear or what new discharge you have ask a question there and get it answered. I have fear of this turning into BC or WTE where everyone and their mother posts the most irritating and random threads constantly! I like the order we have here!
I HATE the word potty. Maybe because I teach and I hear it whined all the time (you apparently can't just say you need to go potty, you have to whine it), but it's a horrible word. Kids can say bathroom. Even little kids. They're totally capable, as capable as they are to say potty.
I am so excited for tomorrow's UPS deliveries, you guys. It is pregnant woman Christmas at my house!! I ordered a squatty potty and a Snoogle. I don't think I will ever leave my house.
Sorry for the out of place comment. I thought I was in January randoms! Damn pregnancy brain.
My UO is no we don't need a bunch of random threads which is why there is a thread entitled random! Like there is no need for a thread about a dog eating underwear or what new discharge you have ask a question there and get it answered. I have fear of this turning into BC or WTE where everyone and their mother posts the most irritating and random threads constantly! I like the order we have here!
I think we should have a "Funky Body" thread where everyone can ask questions about their breast/vaginal/anal secretions. It could also probably be lumped in with "disgusting things my dog did today"
My UO is that I really don't get home births. I guess it's not so much an UO, because it's not that I think people are wrong for doing it, I just can't understand the desire to do it and how it doesn't scare the hell out of a person. Plus the mess - do you just throw stuff away after?
...What do you think is happening during this birth? Lol
@MotherOfDucks what do you mean? Do you mean what do I think is happening during birth that's so messy that you'd throw stuff out afterwards? I never had a vaginal birth with DD but my understanding from my friends who did is that there is usually a lot of blood and other fluids. Even just post-partum after my c-section, things were messy. Maybe I'm just not great at laundry and need some tips on stain removal but when I've gotten blood stains (or poop stains from DD) on clothes and bedding I have often not been able to get them out of the laundry. That's what I meant about throwing stuff out - the bedding that all the blood and fluids gets onto.
Or do you mean what do I think is happening that it would scare the hell out of me? My birth with DD was scary. I know a lot of people have straight forward births, but a lot of people have complications and it would be scary as hell for me not to have access to interventions.
Since we're talking about it here, I'm curious. Who exactly do you invite to a baby shower? If it were just a big party I would invite all my friends, but because it's a party with the expectation of gifts, I'm thinking just good friends and family?
My UO is based off the discussion of the Go Fund me accounts. Normally, I would agree with most of you. People who use it for vacations, weddings, honeymoons etc are definitely in the entitled camp. However, I don't understand why people lack compassion for those who truly need assistance.
For example: My church had a little girl with down syndrome who had cancer. At one point she was on life support with a 5% chance of living. Her family set up a Go Fund me account. They raised $14,835 by 280 different donors. I fully understand that cases like this aren't your "problem" or don't effect your life. But for me I have a hard time not donating at least $5. $5 to me is a cup of coffee. Every penny of the donations went to her medical bills. Health insurance only covers so much and before you know it your buried in medical bills you can't dig yourself out of. Just food for thought and if you don't agree flame away.
@elenabrent it is usually good friends and family. Some people have several baby showers for different groups, ie: work, family, friends. It depends on how many peope your host wants to/ can accommodate and how well peope mesh. You don't want a bunch of drama at your shower, so sometimes it is easier to have two.
Well I wouldn't invite anyone. Usually whoever is throwing you the shower will invite friends and family for you..depending on what they can afford to throw for you. I wouldn't give my best friend a list of 75 friends and coworkers if she could only afford a small gathering. Like my wedding shower I had very little say in what was done because I didn't throw one for myself. But maybe that's just a thing we did and other people don't, so idk. I mean I can tell her I didn't want to go drinking for my bachelorette party and please make sure you invite my in-laws kind of thing and yes I'm free on such and such a date, but I have no say in what we eat, what we do, etc. And different groups of friends may want to do something for you. Work might throw you one and your old sorority sisters might throw you one and your sister might throw you one all with different people invited to each, you know?
Re: UO Thursday
@chanfa my BFF is child-free by choice but LOVES entertaining and throwing parties. She asked me if she could throw a "sprinkle" for me, which I refused. However, I'm thinking of maybe allowing her to help plan a sex reveal party. We moved into our 1st home over the summer but never had a house-warming so it would be a good excuse to have people over. I would NOT suggest people wear a color or bring a gift or anything like that. Just an excuse to have people over and recognize Baby #2 in a special way.
.... thoughts from the peanut gallery? [I agree with the idea that the reveal is not that important to people in general. I just want to see my friends!]
ETA: we were Team Green with #1 so I'm SUPER EXCITED to find out this time
Also just because you have one baby already does not mean that you should have everything you need for the second one. Depending on the age you may need another car seat or crib. Not everything that was used for the first baby can be used for the second, depending on age.
I don't like eggs. Scrambled, over easy, poached, whatever. Nope. (Baked into something is okay)
I actually don't like most "breakfast" foods. I say no to pancakes, waffles, French toast(it's bread with an egg on top! Eww).
Sugary kid cereal is the only exception to the breakfast rule. Oh and bacon because it's delicious all the time.
I also think showers are awkward but are worth the social punishment for the end result. I ended up having 4 wedding showers (I only wanted one) and the stuff we got are things I never would have bought for myself, mainly because I enjoy giving more than receiving. Also most of my family is divorced and seperated so that is why I had two family showers. I work with all women and they love showers so I was lucky to enjoy one from them, and my students threw me a surprise shower which was super cute! Not all of the showers included a huge gift giving moment, it was more just spending the time with the people who are important in my life. That being said nothing was more embarrassing then when my MIL interrupted the gift unwrapping portion of the shower to whisper in my ear that she hadn't brought a gift and would come up with something later. All 40 people there suddenly felt just as awkward as me.
@jlgriff11 most times I agree with your thoughts but you broke my heart with the hatred towards pbj.
UO: As much as I LOVE baby showers, that's how much I HATE wedding showers. You're not getting a wedding shower gift AND wedding gift! Everybody gets ONE! Also who the hell doesn't live together before getting married in this day and age? I think that's just really not smart- living together is HARD at first and should be sorted out before marriage which has its own challenges.
Qbf
Hey it's better than..
Married: October 2014
TTC #1 since September 2015
"Chew on my roast beef"
July'16 BMB May Siggy Challenge - Star Wars:
Sorry for the out of place comment. I thought I was in January randoms! Damn pregnancy brain.
I think we should have a "Funky Body" thread where everyone can ask questions about their breast/vaginal/anal secretions. It could also probably be lumped in with "disgusting things my dog did today"
Married: October 23, 2010
DS: 8/7/2013
#2 EDD: 6/29/2016, C Section: 6/22/2016
Or do you mean what do I think is happening that it would scare the hell out of me? My birth with DD was scary. I know a lot of people have straight forward births, but a lot of people have complications and it would be scary as hell for me not to have access to interventions.
Or am I totally not getting what you were asking?
Got it - that makes sense.
For example: My church had a little girl with down syndrome who had cancer. At one point she was on life support with a 5% chance of living. Her family set up a Go Fund me account. They raised $14,835 by 280 different donors. I fully understand that cases like this aren't your "problem" or don't effect your life. But for me I have a hard time not donating at least $5. $5 to me is a cup of coffee. Every penny of the donations went to her medical bills. Health insurance only covers so much and before you know it your buried in medical bills you can't dig yourself out of. Just food for thought and if you don't agree flame away.
Edit: Typo