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June 2016 Moms
vulpini
member
It's my birthday and my husband forgot
vulpini
member
I'm sitting here hormonal and crying and with my stupid TMJ still hurting, replying to birthday texts from my in-laws, cousins, friends, and everyone else who apparently cares enough to remember the date more than the man I live with.
We don't always exchange gifts because we agreed that we didn't want to spend our family budget on random stuff when we don't want anything specific as gifts. We often just get a sitter and go out instead or sometimes plan a little weekend trip. I drowned my phone in the toilet a month ago and told him the replacement would count as my birthday gift this year.
When we started dating, I used to hint sometimes that I liked getting flowers, but he said that made him not want to buy them because it felt forced. So I stopped mentioning it and I would get them on my birthday and our wedding anniversary...sometimes. Last year he didn't buy them for either occasion. He never buys them just because.
We don't do Valentines Day because that's his birthday and it's an "artificial holiday for people who never do romantic things otherwise". Yeah, for people just like hum.
I give him cards for every holiday and write a lot in them from the heart. He seems to like them. He saves them all. I've gotten one card from him in the 6.5 years we've been together, signed just with his name.
I knew he wasn't a romantic jesture type person before we got married and that he expresses his love in other ways. Love languages and all that jazz. I don't expect the cards and gifts and flowers anymore. But this is a new low.
We went to an ultrasound together yesterday and the tech and doctor both wished me a happy early birthday when they looked at my chart, so he had a reminder less than 24 hours ago.
We don't always exchange gifts because we agreed that we didn't want to spend our family budget on random stuff when we don't want anything specific as gifts. We often just get a sitter and go out instead or sometimes plan a little weekend trip. I drowned my phone in the toilet a month ago and told him the replacement would count as my birthday gift this year.
When we started dating, I used to hint sometimes that I liked getting flowers, but he said that made him not want to buy them because it felt forced. So I stopped mentioning it and I would get them on my birthday and our wedding anniversary...sometimes. Last year he didn't buy them for either occasion. He never buys them just because.
We don't do Valentines Day because that's his birthday and it's an "artificial holiday for people who never do romantic things otherwise". Yeah, for people just like hum.
I give him cards for every holiday and write a lot in them from the heart. He seems to like them. He saves them all. I've gotten one card from him in the 6.5 years we've been together, signed just with his name.
I knew he wasn't a romantic jesture type person before we got married and that he expresses his love in other ways. Love languages and all that jazz. I don't expect the cards and gifts and flowers anymore. But this is a new low.
We went to an ultrasound together yesterday and the tech and doctor both wished me a happy early birthday when they looked at my chart, so he had a reminder less than 24 hours ago.
Re: It's my birthday and my husband forgot
and........
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My first hope would be he's planning something for a surprise tonight, especially if he had notice yesterday that today was your birthday. If not I'll offer some internet hugs of consolation because I could totally see DH doing something like this.
Ditto what the other ladies already said...my assumption is that he has something up his sleeve for later and purposely wanted to make it seem like he forgot. However, if that is not the case, I would treat yourself to something and then give him shit for it later.
I really hope he didn't forget, but we can throw you a one of a kind Bump birthday celebration here too just in case
My DH is very similar. I often buy him cards and little gifts just because and such and literally the only card I've ever gotten from him was just signed with his name. My birthday gift this year was put into one of my unwrapped shoe boxes and he considered that good enough. He also straight up forgot to tell me happy birthday a few years ago until I freaked out on him. I hope if he really did forget, he realizes it before tonight and does something awesome for you. If not, please know that I empathize.
Hope your H has a surprise for later!
Triplets due 6/29/16 also from an IUI!
Edit: To re-insert gif.
Also the argument that giving you flowers feels forced because you told him you want them is bullshit, sorry. Unless you were harping on him to give you flowers all the time, that sounds like a cop out. When I don't tell my H what I want he gets irritated because he isn't a mind reader obviously. When I then told him what I want he said something similar to me and I called him on it. He ended up telling me that he felt like when I wanted things he didn't naturally think to give, it make him feel inadequate...which I can understand BUT you have to be able to communicate what you want (in a nice way) and not feel bad about it. It is still a work in progress but H is now to the point where he gets what I want and gives me the sappy cards on special occasions and when he forgets, as he will, I remind him in as gentle of a way as possible.
Happy Birthday! Try to do something nice for yourself today...a nice bath maybe with a special treat from the store?
I'm sorry that you are having a rough one. I will keep my fingers crossed that he has something special planned for you later.
And, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I hope your whole day turns around!
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Like PPs said, I really hope your guy is planning a surprise. If not, let him know how you feel.
In any event, treat yourself today, lady!
But HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
My husband is the exact opposite of yours: he comes home with flowers randomly, and does big romantic gestures like lots of birthday and anniversary presents; BUT he rarely SAYS anything romantic ever out loud. I can't remember the last time DH said, "I love you" to me without me saying it first. :-/
My point is just that everyone is different, and men express their feelings in different ways. So maybe in his mind cards are silly since he's the type to just tell you how he feels?
Anyway I hope you have a Happy Birthday regardless of your DH; you deserve it mama!
I am hoping like everyone else that he has something amazing planned for you tonight!
Echoing PP, I hope hubby has something planned, but if he truly did forget, this kind of reminds me of Sixteen Candles. Instead of a family wedding, maybe the pregnancy has him distracted and I'm sure he really did not mean to forget. And if he did forget, make sure you talk to him about it and let him know how you feel.
And make sure to treat yourself, regardless!!
Me - 33, DH - 33
Married - May 2014
DH - Low Count/Motility/Morph - Varicocele vein x 2 - surgery (8/11) - success!
BFP - 10/10/15, EDD - 6/20/16 - It's a BOY!
Baby #1 - 6/29/16 - Lucas Christopher, 10 lbs 3 oz, 22.25 inches
Baby #2 - TTC May 2017
BFP - 9/10/17, EDD - 5/26/18 - It's a GIRL! - RCS May 22nd
My Chart
I hope your husband plans something special for tonight!
Baby #2 Due 3/7/20
My husband is terrible at gifts and holidays too. I reminded him the other day that this summer is my 30th birthday, so I expect him to actually do something this year, I wasn't going to let it slide. I go most years with no celebration from him.
I suggest doing something for yourself. Get dinner from your favorite take out, make yourself a cake, treat yourself to a new nail polish, watch a movie tonight that you love. Just something to feel special. I hope the day turns around!
DST T4L
My DH forgot one year. DS1 was 9 months old and the whole day had been rough. When he didn't say anything that morning I assumed he was going to bring me flowers or something home from work. He called on his way home to say he was going to the driving range, and not wait on him for dinner. I texted his sister that he forgot and she sent him to remind him. except she sent the message to his personal cell and he only carried the work one. I appreciated the gesture from her though.
He came home to me crying and attempting to get the baby to bed, who was screaming. I told him he forgot my birthday and I handed him the baby and went to take a bath. He felt awful, orderd pizza, and brought me flowers the next day. He's human, and people make mistakes and forget important dates. I hope your H remembers though.
I hope he does do something special for you tonight, and if not, talk to him about how it made you feel tomorrow and give him some suggestions to make it up to you.
I have this problem from my parents and it really does suck and hurt my feelings, so I understand the disappointment.
Hope your day gets better!
(((Hugs)))
Agree with PP's. I hope he has something planned.
EDD: 06/25/2006 M/C: 11/03/2005
EDD: 04/08/2012 M/C: 09/03/2011
EDD: 12/27/2012 Born Sleeping: 07/19/2012
EDD: 12/07/2013 M/C 05/30/2013 & 05/31/2013
EDD: 07/01/2016 Born sleeping: 03/02/2016
HA! I totally forgot about that song and now I am watching it on repeat on youtube.
Amazing.
He says he loves me mostly after I say it first. I'd say it's about 80-20 on that one. He compliments my cooking and sometimes compliments me when I dress up. He doesn't say anything romantic otherwise. He's quiet and introverted.
I really doubt there is a surprise planned. It would be the first ever. And when I'm hormonal and in pain for the fourth day isn't a good time for that kind of a game. He just forgot. Or didn't forget it's my birthday but also didn't realize he didn't actually say happy birthday. He came home for lunch (he always does) and didn't say anything then either.
And happy birthday!!
My husband is like this too frequently. I believe that a lot of men are pretty oblivious, much more than the typical woman. My husband's feelings hardly ever get hurt, so I guess he doesn't understand fully how mine do get hurt sometimes.
Sept '11-April '13 ~ Testing, failed multiple MFI treatments, saving & TONS of praying
January 2014 ~ IVF/ICSI & PGS ~ no response to stims ~ converted to IUI ~ BFN
February 2014 ~ On to donor embyros ~ 5 blasts!!!
March 2014 ~ FET #1 ~ Transferred 2 blasts ~ BFN
July 2014 ~ Kliman's mock cycle with endometrial function test
Sample too small for EFT, HE slide showed immature cells
New protocol planned, saving for another biopsy for EFT
January 2015 ~ Considering adoption options
April 2015 ~ Privately arranged adoption of planned pregnancy
DD#1 ~ Lillyana Violet Marie born 6/15/16, Finalized adoption 12/20/16
July 13, 2018 ~ BFP....WTF?!?!
7/16 Beta #1 ~ 466...7/18 Beta #2 ~ 1,077...7/23 Beta #3 ~ 5,291
7/23 US #1 ~ 1 gestational sac seen and yolk sac
7/30 US #2 and 1st OB appt ~ 1 perfectly round gestational sac, 1 perfect yolk sac and 1 teeny tiny heart beat seen!!!
My blood is boiling for you! I really hope you have had a wonderful day FULL of treating yourself to something delicious and beautiful! Xo
I'm glad you got to go eat and got flowers. Happy Birthday!