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November 2015 Moms
cdepperschmidt
member
Things about being a Mom that no one warned you about.
cdepperschmidt
member
I stole this from the December board. I'm pretty sure we haven't done this question and I need some new MOTN reading material. 
What is something about being a Mom no one warned you about?
Lots of things come to mind, but for me it was breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is so hush hush and I feel like even moms won't talk about it until you're a Mom too. Now that I have a LO, every mom wants to share their BFing experience. Before his birth, nothing.
I had no idea you could have milk production issues or latching issues. I had no idea that there were foods that help and hurt your supplies (like peppermint....dammit). Most of all no one warned me that for the first month of my sons life I would live on the couch because he feed so frequently! I have one friend who spoke openly with me about Mommyhood, but she made the choice bottle feed from day one.
What is something about being a Mom no one warned you about?
Lots of things come to mind, but for me it was breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is so hush hush and I feel like even moms won't talk about it until you're a Mom too. Now that I have a LO, every mom wants to share their BFing experience. Before his birth, nothing.
I had no idea you could have milk production issues or latching issues. I had no idea that there were foods that help and hurt your supplies (like peppermint....dammit). Most of all no one warned me that for the first month of my sons life I would live on the couch because he feed so frequently! I have one friend who spoke openly with me about Mommyhood, but she made the choice bottle feed from day one.
Re: Things about being a Mom that no one warned you about.
My BFF told me not to bother wearing a shirt the first few weeks because I would be nursing that much. I didn't believe it at first, but man is she right!
The postpartum night sweats. No one warned me about that. They weren't as bad this second time, luckily.
Also- purple crying/colic. Shit is no joke and I clearly didn't know what it was.
All you ever hear anyone say is that "the placed thr baby on my chest and I had this sudden overwhelming love".
Nope. I felt like a horrible person for the first week or 2. I definitely had a strong urge to protect and care for him, but I wouldn't say I had and overwhelming rush of mushy feelings the day he was born.
I had no idea how exhausting maternity leave would be. I knew I would be tired after having a baby but I thought by 6 or 7 weeks onto leave we could go to lunch eith friends and to target or the mall. Getting a newborn feed, bathed, dressed before they need to eat or nap again is damn near impossible by yourself, that's even before I have attempted to make myself look presentable.
No one told me that 7 weeks pp I'd still have several periods of "I have no idea why you're crying and I can't figure out how to make you stop." (I kind of figured I'd have his cries figured out in no time.... I still don't. I just assume he's hungry and if that's not it then maybe it's a dirty diaper. Still no? Let's try getting you to sleep or getting burps out.")
No one warned me that my kid wouldn't sleep on his back no matter what I tried.
No one warned me how easy it is to be plagued by mom guilt or question if you're doing the right thing.
No one warned me about the days when Zeke just would not sleep and that he would fight it at such a young age
How freaking tired I would really be.
How I'd adopt my own way of parenting after he's here.
How my nipples felt like they were gonna fall off for the first week and a half.
How none of my clothes would fit still... I mean I knew this but it didn't really hit me. Dressing a pp body is more awkward than dressing a bump...
Breastfeeding was hard with DD1 I thought if you wanted to nurse babies just kinda got it, I didn't know I would have to work so hard. Luckily DD2 took to it like a champ.
No one told me I'd miss my husband even when he was home with us.
No one told me my baby was breech and I would need a c-section. I'm still pissed about this! All of those cervical exams and all I heard was "I can feel her head! She's nice and low. Your birth will be so easy." Bullshit. If I ever have another then I will not see the same OB every time those last few weeks because apparently some of them know nothing. Someone had to be at the bottom of their class, I guess. Good grief.
No one told me how much I would love this little girl. I still can't understand where all this love came from. No one told me how much I'd worry about her. I am a natural worrier but this worry is overwhelming sometimes !
We are finally getting into a routine but I'm scared to go back to work in February. I'm sure when that happens I'll have another "no one told me" list.
I never realized how difficult breastfeeding would be, and how cluster feeding would take every ounce of strength/patience in my body.
I also never knew that even though my DH will take the middle of the night feedings to feed DS expressed breast milk and give me the time to sleep, that id still need to wake up to pump because it would be painful otherwise.
DS2: EDD- 09.08.17
Two--@rachswi I'm with you about thinking I'd know her cries by now, I feel like crap when I can't figure it out right away. At almost nine weeks it's still mostly a guessing game, though I'm getting better!
No one told me I wouldn't have time to do the littlest things during the day, like drink a cup of tea or go to the bathroom!
No one told me about "mommy guilt" always feeling like what I'm doing isn't right, that something is wrong and feeling bad for wanting alone time with DH. I love my son to bits but I miss just lying in bed and cuddling while watching a movie. I know we will get back there eventually but I miss it.
No one told me I'd need to keep baby's nails clipped.
No one told me baby wouldn't want to sleep in his pack n play. Or his bassinet. Or his rock n play. Or anywhere he wasn't touching me. I thought he'd just sleep where I put him but nope, he won't sleep for more than twenty minutes unless I'm touching him, and he sleeps even better if he's physically on my body.
No one told me about postpartum bleeding. I had no idea that after birth I would be in for basically the longest period of my entire life. I had heard you need to stock up on pads, so I did, but thought you'd bleed for the first day or so and that would be that. Had no idea there would still be bleeding almost five weeks out.
No one told me finding the right formula would be so stressful.
No one warned me of the "4th trimester" and how to cope, or watch for post part mum anxiety.
No one told me just in general how hard the first few weeks are and that you won't immediately know what your baby needs, or that it is ok and you will eventually "know your baby"
Hemorrhoids.
No one told me having sex after delivery would be so awkward. Like losing your virginity all over again!!
...or not.
No one told me I'd be this obsessed over a tiny human's poop. I feel like that's all I talk to my husband about now.
No one told me the guilt I would feel when he cries, as if I've done something horrendous to the poor thing.
No one told that it's okay to hog my own baby, I had him so I can tell people when they're not allowed to hold him.
No one told me Mom Brain is a real thing, I always thought people were exaggerating or joking. They're not. And it's not funny.
No one told me I would bleed so long, I thought PP bleeding lasted 2 weeks max. Almost 5 weeks PP and still going strong. No one told me that recovery would literally be like recovering from surgery. As my nurse described it I had a vaginal c-section. I literally could not sit in a chair, let alone up in bed for weeks. And that Id still be in pain over a month later.
No one also told me (like PP said) I would be on house arrest breastfeeding. I am able to make it out occasionally, but man did I think BF was different. I thought LO would eat every few hours for like 15 minutes but nope, we have ourselves a cluster feeder!
No one told me about the back pain! Between the size of my boobs and bouncing LO and nursing all the time, my back is killing me!
The only thing getting me through is knowing my sister will be here with him and in a month I should be working from home.
FML.