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December 2015 Moms
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Things about being a mom nobody warned you about

Gingermom15Gingermom15 member
edited December 2015 in December 2015 Moms
Now that most of our December babies have arrived and we are getting settled into motherhood, there are things along the way I'm sure have taken us all by surprise. What are some of those things for you?

For me, it was never knowing breastfeeding would be so challenging. Why do so many moms make it seem like such a breeze? It really sucks sometimes and it's just hard.
Also, my milk letting down really catches me off guard sometimes. The things that trigger it are borderline ridiculous, I expected it to let down when I heard my baby cry but it goes beyond that. It lets down when I hear other babies cry even on tv and when I watch my dog or rabbit eat. While watching Animal Planet I saw a baby monkey drinking out of a bottle, then had milk everywhere before I knew what happened.

Edited because proofreading is hard
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Re: Things about being a mom nobody warned you about

  • satindawl83satindawl83 member
    Bamboobies breast pads are the bee's knees if you're a leaker!


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  • Gingermom15Gingermom15 member
    satindawl83 said:

    Bamboobies breast pads are the bee's knees if you're a leaker!


    I have some SIL gave me, but I hate the feeling of things pushed against my nipple. I'll have to bite it and start using them instead of wearing shirts I don't care about :wink:
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  • ammnam14ammnam14 member
    I didn't know I was capable of loving someone so much. Definitely wasn't prepared for that. Breastfeeding is SO hard, I wish someone would have warned me! The recovery from labor was also a little rough. Can someone write a book about pregnancy, labor, and motherhood but include ALL of the details? Not just the sunshine and rainbows parts. Lol

    Also sorry if my post doesn't make sense I'm a little sleep deprived.
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  • dec15mumdec15mum member
    Postpartum recovery is a bitch.
    I tore up at the top end rather than the bottom and as the doctor said "there's a chunk missing"
    I never expected so much blood after delivering
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  • cdv2015cdv2015 member
    Mastitis. I had heard of it, and thought of it as just a severely tender breast. Ummm... no.

    Color me surprised when I got terrible chills, night sweat that forced myself and my husband to change clothes, fever, flu-like symptoms, AND my left boob feels like it is falling off.

    So here I am WARNING you all. Do not restrain your breasts with tight bras, do not miss or skip a feeding, and empty your breast completely of milk. This is torture.
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  • satindawl83satindawl83 member
    Agreed that no one really warns you about recovery.

    My parents came into town a week after the baby. Everyone said that learning how to breastfeed and PP bleeding were the reasons not to have visitors. Not the fact that it was going hurt just to sit down!

    Granted, I had an episiotomy, but you would think someone who had a tear or episiotomy in the past would have shared their experience. It wasn't until I googled it after my labor that I realized there was a whole underworld of women who had shitty labor recoveries.
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  • groovylocksgroovylocks member
    edited December 2015
    Also not just breastfeeding but the scheduling around pumping if you plan to be separated for, oh in our case, anything longer than an hour. Pumpmath, we call it. I'll level with you, we bought formula for those days or nights when I miscalculate pump needs and don't make enough and we are out or I'm drinking any alcohol.. You need to plan even a drink of wine hours in advance.. 
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  • ErinKimmErinKimm member
    No one warned me that there are areas an epidural will not cover...DD was on my tailbone during delivery and when the anistegiologist came in to increase my dose he told me there was nothing he could do and the epidural wouldn't cover any pain in that area...AWESOME!!!!
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  • erikaalzeterikaalzet member
    1. The first week! I have limited experience with babies prior to having my own, so every little cry made me want to cry. And I did. A lot.

    2. Depending on the temperament of your baby (mine is fussy like her mama), the sheer amount of entertaining you need to do. Granted, I love it, but I found myself googling what to do with her. Yes, many things ended up being common sense, but when you are sleep deprived, you run out of common sense a lot.
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  • navyblueladybugnavyblueladybug member
    • The PP swelling
    • How long you bleed PP
    • After a c-section the numbness around the incision
    • How fast your period can return (5 weeks PP and it's totally back)
    • Yes! BF doesn't come natural! Annoying

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  • cedixon2cedixon2 member
    Spitting up a mouthful of boob juice all over moms tummy at 3 am .... By both twins. Lol and so not pleasant. Did any anyone mention baby smelling like cheese after said spit up gets on their pjs once the milk came in good ?? And umm the ridiculous amount of laundry babies generate.
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  • esscapelleesscapelle member
    Recovery downstairs is a bitch (3rd degree tear victim here). Had no idea it'd hurt to even sit down for the first 2 weeks PP. Lovely recovery process.
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  • arz1215arz1215 member
    Agree with PPs.. breastfeeding! It is hard, very hard and emotionally draining! Trying to understand how my body will regulate milk production. No one told me my boobs could turn into rocks either.
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  • redfallonredfallon member
    @groovylocks said:
    That not only do all children feel like your child, all people in general do too. And you can't read anything, watch anything, hear any terrible anecdote without holding onto your child for dear life. I had heard about this phenomenon.. But nobody had prepared me for how real it was. And how terrifying being a mother is. 
    This one got to me after we had DD. It apparently got to DH, too. He cannot even watch a preview of a movie that has anything to do with kidnapping now. I cried at Tangled when the little princess baby is kidnapped because I could tell how old she probably was and was thinking about how terrified and helpless her parents must've felt. Before having a child, that would've just been another part of the story to me.

    It's also a lot easier to tell how old children are now. It also makes me feel and relate more about a child character in a book, or a child in a news story, because I now know what a 6 month old child is like and what an 18 month old child is like, etc.

    Jamie


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  • rachel10488rachel10488 member
    groovylocks said:

    That not only do all children feel like your child, all people in general do too. And you can't read anything, watch anything, hear any terrible anecdote without holding onto your child for dear life. I had heard about this phenomenon.. But nobody had prepared me for how real it was. And how terrifying being a mother is. 

    This is so true! I found out the other day that an aquantence just lost her 3 month old son to SIDS and I cried about it all night. Even though I don't know her and her husband very well I couldn't stop thinking about how awful that would feel, complete and utter nightmare.
    Of course that made it a little harder not to check on my little boy every few minutes while he sleeps

    I also agree with the breastfeeding. People told me it could be challenging but it is literally the most difficult and painful thing I have ever done. I was seriously looking forward to that part so much and even now that I'm past the pain of cracked nipples I feel like I'm never not nursing and it's overwhelming and frustrating.
    I have an intense amount of love for my son but I'm looking forward to when he sees me as something other than a big giant boob and we can do something else together besides solely nursing
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  • TomekiaBTomekiaB member
    I had an epistomy due to the forceps, I expected bleeding and soreness but the swelling down there was surprising to me (not sure why it never occurred to me...).

    I knew how challenging BF could/would be but I really hoped the engorgement would pass faster, it hurts :/

    My let down is so fast my baby is frustrated and I get soaked, I HATE wet bras (from dripping during feeds, the pads absorb breastmilk between feeds).

    And OMG the laundry!
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  • kaylanpolkkaylanpolk member
    ATolentino89 said:

    The strain on marriage. It wasn't until the other day when I was getting on to my husband for not helping much that day when I realized we had not actually talked to each other about anything besides baby since he had been born. The tension in our house was palpable to the point where our son felt my tension towards his dad and didn't want to be near him but since that realization and having short conversations about OTHER THINGS we have both been much more relaxed.

    Also, how much my husband worries about PPD. I have always been overly dictated by hormones and everytime I cry or get frustrated about something he starts to worry and throw out the bat signal to my mom and my mom friends.

    This. My husband is working so hard to be a good dad that I had to remind him that I still needed him to be my loving supportive husband. We're adjusting... But it's been almost as exhausting as the night feedings.

    I'm ready for both of us to go back to work so we can establish any kind of new normal.
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  • Mizuiro007Mizuiro007 member
    With my first I was most shocked by how I changed. Not just my body but everything. My whole self identity changed and it took me a while to accept but I couldn't be happier about the change.

    This time, I was warned, but I'm still surprised how different DD is from how her brother was and how different it is having two.

    Also, I always hated talk radio because of long car trips and listening to it as a kid and it'd make me sleepy. Now we listen to it all the time in the car because it keeps hubby and I supplied on topics to discuss outside babies and finances and so on. We have some pretty interesting debates from it and I love it.
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  • littlebitmomlittlebitmom member
    breezypip said:

    Everything that had been said about breastfeeding. It has been so overwhelming, frustrating, time consuming, lonely, and painful. I still cant figure out how anyone is able to leave the house while breast feeding because I can't quite grasp how to pump without throwing off my supply. And I really want to leave the house (or the couch even). Yet, when I consider giving up I feel extremely sad. I have a very complicated relationship with breast feeding I guess.

    Also, people warn you constantly about lack of sleep, but I had no idea they really meant you might actually never sleep. I miss sleep.

    This. All of this.
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  • celainevcelainev member
    TomekiaB said:

    I had an epistomy due to the forceps, I expected bleeding and soreness but the swelling down there was surprising to me (not sure why it never occurred to me...).

    I knew how challenging BF could/would be but I really hoped the engorgement would pass faster, it hurts :/

    My let down is so fast my baby is frustrated and I get soaked, I HATE wet bras (from dripping during feeds, the pads absorb breastmilk between feeds).

    And OMG the laundry!

    I use a receiving blanket and tuck it into my bra/under my boob. Then I rest my little boys head on it and use it as a burp cloth!! Saves my bras.
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  • heatherkennedy021heatherkennedy021 member
    I completely agree with the fact that breastfeeding/ pumping just sucks! I feel like all I do is feed, pump ( I'm exclusively pumping), wash pump parts, change diapers and then start over.

    And recovery after a tear and a repair is pretty rough! I didn't see anyone mention anything about bladder control. I'm no longer bleeding but still having to wear pads because i sure am leaking urine on the way to the bathroom... which at 25 I didn't think I would have that problem.

    And the emotional roller coaster you will be on from the hormones to the lack of sleep. I feel like a basket case.

    The strain on your marriage is rough too! It's no longer about you and your husband. I don't think my hubs and I have talked about anything other than our baby in a month.

    Being a mom is great but all the other adult stuff that comes along with it is for the birds can't i just sit and hold my baby all day...
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  • redfallonredfallon member
    I think a lot of the things that are said that people don't talk about are things that people talk about, but no one wants to hear it. Breastfeeding IS hard, post partum recovery is NO JOKE (I know I mentioned it in almost every thread when people asked about either traveling or visitors very soon after baby comes). I have to cross my legs every time I pee, cough, or sneeze, even two years after my daughter was born and before this baby. Some of these things you have to experience for yourself to realize that they can happen to you, too. :)

    Jamie


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  • TomekiaBTomekiaB member
    @redfallon You did warn us repeatedly the recovery could be pretty rough!
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