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January 2016 Moms
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Life after delivery......

carlyhammondcarlyhammond member
in January 2016 Moms
As I lay here with a sleeping newborn on my chest.... I post to you my concerns I guess of the life ahead.

My son is three days old, he was born 12/26 and we finally got to go home today.
I'm so scared I can't think straight.
I'm alone most of the time... Which in itself is terrifying...
I am so tired I literally pass out when I close my eyes....
Im scared I will fall asleep and my son will be crying and I won't wake up (this happened in the hospital)

What's life going to be like if I'm constantly scared?
My mom offered to stay with me for a few days but,when she brought us home from the hospital she left as soon as she could...
I'm trying to be independent, but I'm hurting so it's still awkward to move..

Lord, please make this fear go away.


Luckily- I don't feel sad, the only time I've cried post partum is when I sent him to the nursery for a few minutes to eat while in the hospital. I just feel scared and confused.,,
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Re: Life after delivery......

  • maddisonwallacemaddisonwallace member
    You've got this! You will get into a rhythm and while it might not be easy breezy, you will get your confidence back. There is no shame in asking for help. You can do this!
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  • SnoopylovesbelleSnoopylovesbelle member
    Do the best you can. Being scared is normal but don't let the fear rule you and take over. The more you take control and do the better and more confident you will feel.
    Try to put him down when you sleep. You will sleep better not worrying and get a break.
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  • Monilee1017Monilee1017 member
    In the beginning everything is scary. You question everything you do and wonder if you will mess up your baby. Remember to sleep when baby sleeps. Also don't forget to eat and drink yourself. If you at very tired change babies diaper, feed them, place them in their crib, bassinet etc. set your alarm and take a nap. It will get easier. 
    Married 2006
    DS1 2010
    DS2 2013
    DD1 2016
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  • Krisdee123Krisdee123 member
    Ask people for help, and don't be too proud to accept help. I can't stress how important this is. Have the awkward conversation with your mom and ask her if she can stay with you if you need it or at least come by every day for the first little while until you feel more confident. It will get easier.
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  • ccoleemanccoleeman member
    Have you shared this with your SO? I know you've mentioned you guys have been inseparable for awhile so I'm sure he'd be understanding, even if he has to work and can't immediately help. How about your roommate? If your mom offered to help, take her up on it. Remember, YOU have no reason to feel awkward in asking for help, especially if that person offered. You just had a baby. If someone says they can't help and they feel awkward about it, that's on them. But you have every right to surround yourself with whatever resources you think you need- you just had a baby.
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  • SummerOHSummerOH member
    Being scared and overwhelmed is normal. Like others have said, reach out to people. Tell them you need help. Sometimes people seem to shy away because they think they are doing you a favor and letting you rest. Also, if the fear gets to be too much, talk to your doctor. You may have PPD, which often manifests in anxiety and fear. See if there are local support or moms groups in your area (your hospital and doctor's office can help find them, or Google). Sleep when baby sleeps or have someone take over so you can get a solid chunk. It's amazing how much better you will feel after getting a few uninterrupted hours of sleep.

    DD 12/20/99, DS 12/14/12, M/C 9/2014, M/C 1/2015


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  • Monilee1017Monilee1017 member
    Also if your BFing this won't work but for DS2 DH and I worked out a sleep schedule. Talk to your SO about one that might work for you guys. What we did was anything before 3:30am was me and anything after was him. This made it so both of us were able to get a solid 4 hours sleep every night. I would talk to your mom but understand if she bailed on you already it might not get you anywhere. 
    Married 2006
    DS1 2010
    DS2 2013
    DD1 2016
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  • cammiedeeanncammiedeeann member
    The important thing to remember is that you're not alone. Lots of FTMs (I totally include myself in this category) are scared to death about life after delivery.

    Just take a deep breath and try not to be too hard on yourself. Having a baby is a major event! It will take some time, but you'll find your rhythm and the overwhelmed feeling will pass.

    I read a blog post with an after-baby mantra that I tucked away for future use: "Baby your baby. Baby yourself."
    You're body has just been through trauma and your hormones are flooding all different directions. So go easy on yourself, mama... Sleep when your LO sleeps, and ask for help!

    (And I may totally need this pep-talk from you guys next week when my LO arrives. Ha!)
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  • EvaD84EvaD84 member
    Carlyhammond u popped out a baby and thats exhausting so not waking up after a crying baby whilst in hospital is understandable....

    You probably had to rush to hospital with hardly any sleep and still muster the energy to deliver a baby....

    My hubby has said that once baby comes he will take a week or 2 off work but i told him the few days i'd be in hospital not to worry too much as i'd understand him being at work but he refuses. He wants to spend time with our newborn daughter...

    I guess him being a snr vp of a bank i understand there are crisis at work that he has to attend to but don't feel bad asking for help from your partner and family members till you get into a rhythm
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  • MamaHollandMamaHolland member
    Be straightforward with your mom. Pretty much say Mom you offered to stay with me a few days but it seemed like you left as soon as you got a chance. I'm not sure how to interpret that but I would still really appreciate your help.

    Maybe she was concerned about being intrusive or in the way. Just talk to her about it. Independence is great but if you have a mom don't hesitate to ask for help & reiterate your need/want for her support.
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  • sarahbeara25sarahbeara25 member
    I've hit the scared point too... 37 weeks today so any time now baby could come, and they'd send me home... with an actual baby. Am I adult enough for this? Luckily I've got access to some adultier adults to help me adult. Definitely see if your mom can come over, even if it's not over night having another person there during the day will be my saving grace. 

    Pregnancy Ticker
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  • MeghaJakeMeghaJake member
    I was so scared when I brought my first home. It is unbelievably overwhelming to be given a newborn! Definitely ask for help and know that it is normal to feel like you do. I thought I could handle it on my own with the second and even then I was so overwhelmed that I had to call my mom and get her to come stay with me.
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  • SummerOHSummerOH member
    Chiming in again...I felt the same way as a second time mom (big age gap in kids) and fully expect to feel the same with this one (3 years after my son). I hope knowing that it's completely normal, even for seasoned moms, makes you feel a bit better. The only advantage I have on first timers is the perspective that it will pass and things will get better. Until then, ask for help, lock yourself in the bathroom and have a good cry, scream in a closet - whatever helps. It will get better though!!

    DD 12/20/99, DS 12/14/12, M/C 9/2014, M/C 1/2015


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  • denaebdenaeb member
    Keep in mind there are specific days post partum where your hormones will be even more wonky than usual (day 1, 3, 7 and 21).
    Ask for help, try to sleep (the likelihood of you sleeping through baby crying again is slim...mommy ears will kick in) and remember the days are long but the years are short. Everyday it gets a little bit easier. And babies are way more resilient than we realize. It's hard to screw up too much at this stage.
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