Vent!! — The Bump
June 2016 Moms

Vent!!

AmberLiz99AmberLiz99
Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
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edited December 2015 in June 2016 Moms
I feel like I need to walk around with a sign that says "yes this is our third baby, yes my kids will only be 5 and 2 when the baby arrives, no it wasn't a mistake, yes it will be a lot of work, no it will not ruin my life, keep your stupid comments to yourself!"

Seriously, almost everyone I tell we are having another reacts in the same way, very negatively as if they are consoling me instead of congratulating. My parents are the worst of all. Yesterday I saw my dad for the first time since the announcment and his only comment was "so...congratulations? That's scary". Um, thanks dad? My mom has yet to say anything positive about the baby, even when my 4 year old is excitedly talking about it she stays quiet. It's not like I ever ask them for help or anything! They live 3 hours away, it really doesn't affect their lives. Can't they jut suck it up and pretend to be nice?

It's making it hard to get really excited when everyone is so negative. I've only talked to maybe 3 people who have been actually supportive.

I just needed to vent, and dh doesn't really get it. Seeing my parents yesterday and their negativity put a damper on my otherwise great Christmas
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Re: Vent!!

  • That sucks. I can't believe how people can be so unsupportive. No matter what your personal opinion may be, a baby is on its way. Can't change it. So get on board!!! My friend just announced she's having her third, her older two will be 5 and 3 when this one is born, and I couldn't be more thrilled for her!! Babies are wonderful, and I know she wanted this very much. Congrats on your baby!
    AmberLiz99UseTheTriforce94
  • Sorry you are going through this. It is so hard when your family or closest friends refuse to share your joy with you! I hope they stop being so selfish and get it together soon. If not, I hope you can get to a place where you can ignore them and live in the happiness of having a new baby soon!! CONGRATS!
    AmberLiz99UseTheTriforce94
  • Grr. I'm sorry that's really frustrating. It's extremely difficult when parents can't get on the ball and be excited about he new grand baby. There is absolutely nothing wrong with either having number three or the age spread. I really don't get why you are getting that response. I hope it passes and people get on board!
    AmberLiz99UseTheTriforce94
  • I'm horrified when I read things like this because it would never occur to me to question someone's family. Who cares how many children someone has? I'm so very sorry you're experiencing this reaction.
    AmberLiz99UseTheTriforce94
  • Good grief. What's the deal with people caring about how close your kids are?? Everyone has their "perfection" in mind for everyone else's family and no matter what decisions you make it will always be criticized. Just turn a deaf ear, tell them its not their business and enjoy your babies! Babies are a wonderful blessing! BTW, mine will be three and one year old when my baby is born, this was a planned baby and we aren't done yet!
    AmberLiz99UseTheTriforce94
  • Thank you for the support ladies! I'm trying to ignore everything, but I think the pregnancy hormones are making it harder. I actually cried this morning, and that's not like me at all
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  • I feel like you have great spacing! My son will have just turned 2 when this one is born and we want to have another within two years of that making them 4,2, and newborn! Your kids will have so much fun with siblings close in age. Don't listen to them!
    AmberLiz99UseTheTriforce94
  • Ugh. People suck. If it helps! CONGRATULATIONS! Three sounds like a perfect number.
    AmberLiz99UseTheTriforce94
  • Sorry to hear - it's discouraging when people, especially family, have an unexpected negative reaction to what's normally exciting news. I'm a FTM, and when I told my dad last week, instead of him saying congratulations he implied I was too old to be having children and then outright told him me I now have a 'life sentence.' Turns out when my little sister broke the news to him (8 years ago) about her first he told her not to forget she has options. So...I try to keep in mind that this is obviously my dad's issue - not mine, not my sister's, not anyone else's. At the end of our conversation I told him very politely that I needed to get off the phone so I could call others who would be happy for me. It felt good taking the high road (as I almost told him where he could put his opinion), but the conversation has been in the back of my mind since it happened last week. I've just decided not to share any more pregnancy related news with him and to just keep it in my circle of supportive people.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is it's hard to not feel supported, but remember people's opinions and actions are a reflection of where they are in their lives and how they relate to themselves - not at all a reflection of you or what you should be doing in and with your life. If and when at all possible, surround yourself with those who are supportive of and excited for you and we always have your back in here!
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  • I had to reread your post to try to figure out where the problem was! 5 and 2 seems like wonderful ages to have your third child. Hey 5 year old "helper"! I'm sorry your family isn't being supportive. Maybe try explaining to them how they're making you feel? Always easier said than done, I know. It's always bizarre to me when people feel like they can input their opinion about your life. Hopefully they come around but there's a whole lot of women here that are excited for you :)
    AmberLiz99UseTheTriforce94
  • So sorry people can't be supportive!! Congrats on growing your family. My daughter will be 18 months and people constantly ask if this pregnancy was a "mistake" or "accident" NOPE

    DD1 born 11/2014

    DD2 born 6/2016



    AmberLiz99UseTheTriforce94
  • I'm sorry that people are saying such rude things. I've gotten a mix of reactions too. Some are genuinely excited and then I get the "you're crazy". My mom is happy for me but her first reaction was to say "Three? what are you going to do?" I didn't take it seriously though. Some people just have no filter. It's not like I'm the first person in the history of the world to have 3 kids. Mine will be 8 and 4 when this LO arrives.
     



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  • I can't believe people act like this. That really sucks. It's not like you're thinking about having another one and seeking out opinions. Their grandchild is already growing within you!!
    June 2016 April Siggy Challenge ("Reasons why my kid is crying"):




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    AmberLiz99UseTheTriforce94
  • It is upsetting with some of the comments - I have heard more than once, why couldn't you have had twins the first time around instead of now. It can be really hurtful and almost sound like my first born means nothing. :(
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  • After my second baby was born I was constantly asked when the next one was coming, and now that I'm actually pregnant with my third everyone is acting like it's absurd. The two most common questions I'm getting are "was it planned?" and "hoping for a girl this time?" I have stopped trying to even be polite about it, it pisses me right off and is so completely unacceptable!
    AmberLiz99UseTheTriforce94
  • I'm sorry everyone sucks. FWIW, the spacing of their ages will make for really strong relationships throughout their lives.
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  • So sorry your parents are acting like that. I think those are great ages!! When my 4th was born my others were 7, 4 & 2. Now I am remarried and having another one! Our combined kids will be 22, 22, 19, 19, 16, 16 & 14. My fathers comment "well I guess congratulations, if congratulations are in order?!" Gee thanks dad! We have dealt with a lot of negativity. Yes, we will have 8 kids, yes I am old, thanks I hadn't noticed!! People just suck sometimes! I hope you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and just share with the people that will share in your joy!
    AmberLiz99UseTheTriforce94
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