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November 2015 Moms
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Is it really your business! Let's vent ladies!

NovemberSnoNovemberSno member
in November 2015 Moms
Ok, so we all need to talk a little crap now and again. Somebody is always better at raising our little ones than we are. I mean of course, we only carried them 40 weeks and spend every waking moment with them....but I'm sure some random person knows better than this little baby's own mother or father. So, let's here them ladies...tell us who has told u how to be a parent! :angry:
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Re: Is it really your business! Let's vent ladies!

  • NovemberSnoNovemberSno member
    I'll go first because this happened today.

    Went to visit my husbands friend and his wife asked me while we're eating dinner "do you still have milk?" OK wtf? Is this really table talk..lol but whatever. I said yep. Trying to cut it short. She says pump as much as you can so you can keep it because I lost mine at 4weeks. (Her daughter is 7) I said I'm actually trying not to pump. She insisted "no u have to alot!" Uhhh...no B I dont. I replied "no the MD told me not to because I had to much and caused me problems." She said "this is wrong" ohhh...it is? Ok...it mean u work at a grocery store but I'm sure you're much more knowledgeable than somebody who spent thier youth going to school for this exact job as a DOCTOR! At this point I was done, I mean were eating effing dinner! I said "no pumping and my oversupply caused me to get mastitis which caused me horrible pain and a knot in my right breast which led to infection which led to me in bed 2 days and having to take antibiotics...so I think ill stick to how I'm doing it , thanks though." And OMG she replied "you didn't breastfeed your other girls so you don't know. This is your first time it is always painful." I wanted to reach across the table and strangle her. I just ignored her at this point.

    Omg why do people feel it is thier right to say anything about your parenting when not asked. And then say the doctor is wrong lmao! Ugh...some people are so dumb.
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  • laswettlaswett member
    I have gotten so much crap for being "overprotective" because I follow the guidelines for SIDS and for not taking G to crowded places before he gets his shots. From SO and his family mostly. Please read something recent. Things have changed in 30 years. My job is to protect him, and I will. Thank you.
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  • ColoradoHikerColoradoHiker member
    My quite a bit younger and childless BIL accused DH and I of barbaric mutilation (his exact words) of our son by having him circumcised. Whatever your personal opinion is on the subject, I'm fine with it. DH and I did the research, and made the decision after discussing it together multiple times over several months.

    Obviously, BIL can't do anything to change this. But, he also gets zero say in this situation. If and when he has a son, it's BIL's choice. However, it's our baby, our decision, period.
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  • bellie1223bellie1223 member
    Lady comes up to me in Starbucks to tell me my baby is not dressed warmly enough. Excuse me, bitch, but she's just fine with a onesie, pants and a hat in her car seat and covered snugly with a crocheted blanket as we're about to get in a heated car.
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  • MoRay05MoRay05 member
    My stepdad thinks he knows everything about breastfeeding. Every time the topic comes up about how much and how often my LO eats my stepdad will ask if I'm sublimating yet. No I am not and I will not unless I absolutely have it. This is my second child and my body will adjust accordingly to his needs. And my child is by no means starving as he gained 3 pounds in one month. I have had this discussion at least four times now. Drop it!
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  • NovemberSnoNovemberSno member
    MoRay05 said:

    My stepdad thinks he knows everything about breastfeeding. Every time the topic comes up about how much and how often my LO eats my stepdad will ask if I'm sublimating yet. No I am not and I will not unless I absolutely have it. This is my second child and my body will adjust accordingly to his needs. And my child is by no means starving as he gained 3 pounds in one month. I have had this discussion at least four times now. Drop it!

    Oh yeah! That's another thing...she also said I'm not feeding LO enough because I said every 3 hours. She said no it needs to be every 1.5-2hrs for 6weeks. I said well I feed on demand. Mind your business lady geeze!
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  • NovemberSnoNovemberSno member
    laswett said:

    I have gotten so much crap for being "overprotective" because I follow the guidelines for SIDS and for not taking G to crowded places before he gets his shots. From SO and his family mostly. Please read something recent. Things have changed in 30 years. My job is to protect him, and I will. Thank you.

    Can't tell u how many people tell me to lay LO on her stomach if she's not sleeping at night. And she's really not a terrible sleeper. Some nights she's awake but not always. I got pregnant knowing there'd be some sleepless nights and I'm ok with that. But they insist...there's so much research as to why you shouldn't but apparently my sleep is more important. And if you chose to do that it's your business! Every family is different and has different needs. People need to mind thier business geeze!
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  • NovemberSnoNovemberSno member
    Craiggles said:

    Let me start by saying I love my husband dearly and I agree completely that he is great. Obv, otherwise I wouldn't have married him. However. My beef is with all the effing people who treat him like he is a g.d. hero because he pitches in with baby care. Seriously, is it really so strange that a man would care for his child and (gasp) do housework too??! We both work full time & are able bodied adults. Everyone should pitch in!

    I get this too. My DH is pretty hands on. I told my friend I had surgery last week and instead of asking how I was she asked "Oh where was the baby?" I said with DH and she looked at me like I was insane. She said "was he ok all that time with her?" Lol. Umm..he's a competent adult who chose to have this baby just as much as I did, I think he can manage a few hours without me while I'm under the knife! Thanks for asking though! :smirk:
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  • NovemberSnoNovemberSno member
    FREAKING KNOW IT ALLS! I HATE THEM! ! ! :#
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  • kdoak2015kdoak2015 member
    I had some random lady at Costco tell me that my DD was too young to be out(she was covered and we rushed through the store just to get a few things) wtf is It to you. Also my MIL gets her nose in everywhere possible rambling on about how spitting up is normal and this is normal and maybe the baby has an allergy to this and that. Blah blah blah.
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  • doodleoodledoodleoodle member
    My MIL spent a good 20 minutes today telling me how I'm ruining my baby's independence by holding her for naps and not letting her sleep in her crib. I responded by just saying over and over again that I like doing it. Afterwards I told DH his mom needs to stop telling me how to parent. And he insisted that wasn't what she was doing, she was just offering advice! WTAF. 20 minutes of unsolicited advice? No thanks.

    My own mother is even worse. She saw LO for the first time since the time we were in the hospital. LO is 8 weeks. My mom made a comment about retiring so I could go to work and she could watch the baby. You'd think that was sweet, right? She then proceeded to tell us we better keep our basement door closed because my older half brother fell down the basement steps as a toddler, landing on his head MULTIPLE TIMES, but it was her first husband's fault because he didn't close the basement door. Every single time? How about you buy a safety gate and watch your kid. I get accidents happen, but multiple times?? And if she calls my baby spoiled one more time because I don't stick my baby in her room to endlessly cry herself to sleep I'm going to scream. If the "cry it out" method worked for her then more power to her, but it is not for me.
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  • JLW0504JLW0504 member
    I hate when people say Maddie is "spoiled" because I hold her when she naps, or go to her when she's crying. I don't get to spend nearly the amount of time I'd like to since I am a working Mom, so I'm taking all the snuggles I can get. When she's crying, there's usually a reason: hungry, needing diaper change, painful gas, etc. I"m not just going to ignore this b/c she "needs to learn how to sleep on her own".  STFU, and let me parent my child.

    Also, we have several nurses in my family and ALL of them thought it was silly that I didn't bring Maddie to Thanksgiving. SHe stayed home with DH while I took Ellie to my family's celebration. The NICU pedi AND her regular pedi both said to wait until Christmas as she had a compromised immune system. They said it was, of course up to me ultimately, but, they did not recommend her going out. So, if 2 medical professionals are telling me not to take my preemie out, I'm not taking her out. End of discussion.

    Ugh, sorry if this doesn't make sense, I've been up since 3:30a EST. At least tonight I've made my sleepless night productive and am doing laundry in between cries and feedings.


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  • rachswirachswi member
    it really bothers me when people tell me I don't need to feed my child because he isn't hungry. First of all i will feed my child when he shows me he's hungry. Second, he may not be hungry but he loves to comfort suck and when we're with a group of stress-inducing people like my in laws, I will gladly take LO away and let him comfort suck to sleep.

    Also my LO cannot sleep on his back. We have tried just about everything. My BIL had Zeke and rocked him to sleep then announced he would put Zeke down on his back (because he has the "magic baby touch" and can get babies to do things when mom and dad can't). I told him Zeke would not sleep but he put him down on his back anyway. Guess who immediately woke up crying? I bit my tongue so I wouldn't say "I told you so."
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  • NovemberSnoNovemberSno member
    rachswi said:

    it really bothers me when people tell me I don't need to feed my child because he isn't hungry. First of all i will feed my child when he shows me he's hungry. Second, he may not be hungry but he loves to comfort suck and when we're with a group of stress-inducing people like my in laws, I will gladly take LO away and let him comfort suck to sleep.

    Also my LO cannot sleep on his back. We have tried just about everything. My BIL had Zeke and rocked him to sleep then announced he would put Zeke down on his back (because he has the "magic baby touch" and can get babies to do things when mom and dad can't). I told him Zeke would not sleep but he put him down on his back anyway. Guess who immediately woke up crying? I bit my tongue so I wouldn't say "I told you so."

    Poor Zeke! I know he's been having trouble sleeping since day 1. :disappointed:

    I wish I could let LO comfort suck. As soon as I put her on...anytime...even if I've just pumped for 20 minutes my freaking milk comes down like I'm a wet nurse trying to feed the village children lol.

    I hope he gets better at sleeping. I'm sure he will. My SIL told me we shouldn't use the paci because it's bad for her. I said well she likes it (she really does probably too much) she said but u need to stop now before it's too late. Lol. I said but she likes it and she advised me to put something hot or sour on it. Wtf!
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  • kwaldykwaldy member
    LO HATES with a passion having a wet diaper, so we end up changing her even when she's "not that wet." But the poor child is screaming, so... I'll satisfy her need for a dry diaper.
    My mom thinks this is ridiculous and told me that I was wasting diapers. She held DD for like 45 minutes while she was super upset and wouldn't give her to me or change her diaper. I could have strangled her....
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  • ShianeNicoleShianeNicole member
    edited December 2015
    @kwaldy I didn't know that it was a thing to let babies pee in a diaper a couple times before changes. We change her if there is even the tiniest drop of anything in her diaper. We go through like 4 an hour!! My mom said the same thing to us. Who cares if I want to change her that often. It's our money and our diapers!
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  • doodleoodledoodleoodle member
    ShianeNicole said:

    Oh Yesssss! I needed this post to vent!! Hate when people go on and on about my child's name. Her name is Elliot and she is A GIRL. Yes it is used as a boys name too. And I get it that she gets called a boy a lot. But after I correct you, drop it. It's none of your business why I named her that. I also hate when I tell people her name and they say "Oh but what do you call her?" .... ELLIOT BECAUSE THAT'S HER NAME... and no you may not call her "Ellie" so stop!!

    If it makes you feel any better every member of my family asks me what I call my daughter. Her name is Penelope. The first couple of times I was asked I was so confused. We call her Penelope...
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  • cbolton19cbolton19 member
    I hate when peoples first question is if I am breastfeeding. It's annoying. Yes, I am, but it's rude to ask (my boss asked me at my performance review!)! I find it rude because some moms cabt and they really want to and other moms that don't are made to feel guilty. Blah. I thing breastfeeding is great, but if baby is fed that is all that matters and randos don't need to know how. It's a sensitive topic and doesn't need to be asked. So annoying.
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  • cdepperschmidtcdepperschmidt member
    @kwaldy I told my Mom I needed to take DS from her to change his diaper. She was like you just changed it. I told her it was wet and she was like pee is no big deal. Yes, but if I can change it I will.

    Dirty diapers don't bug DS. There are times I've left him in a dirty diaper, but only if he just went down for a nap, cuz you just don't wake a sleeping baby.
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  • AmoLovesAudAmoLovesAud member
    doodleoodle said:

    ShianeNicole said:

    Oh Yesssss! I needed this post to vent!! Hate when people go on and on about my child's name. Her name is Elliot and she is A GIRL. Yes it is used as a boys name too. And I get it that she gets called a boy a lot. But after I correct you, drop it. It's none of your business why I named her that. I also hate when I tell people her name and they say "Oh but what do you call her?" .... ELLIOT BECAUSE THAT'S HER NAME... and no you may not call her "Ellie" so stop!!

    If it makes you feel any better every member of my family asks me what I call my daughter. Her name is Penelope. The first couple of times I was asked I was so confused. We call her Penelope...
    I keep getting that too! WTF. I call her Adelaide, because that is what we named her. If I wanted to call her something else, I would've put a different name on her birth certificate... you'd think at least my ILs would understand since DH's given name is technically a nickname.
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  • LydianGLydianG member
    People looking down on me because i quit pumping. Ds has a crazy diaper rash that is unfixable and mad diarrea. Liquid poo in every diaper. I cut lactose out, didnt work. Finally i started giving formula and pumping but for 2 days we just gave formula to see what would happen and he has normal poops 2-3 times a day and the rash is clearing up. Clearly its something in my breastmilk that was triggering a problem. Yes i "quit". Yes formula is expensive. But we found a solution to a problem that is working. Meh.
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  • Ceridwen77Ceridwen77 member
    Christmas Eve we went to DH's family's house. A lot of people wanted to hold her and we offered up hand sanitizer to everyone before they did. Well when my MIL, her sister and her mother saw this they got on my case about it. Worst part is DH was right there and said nothing to them!! They went on about how the baby needs to be exposed to germs and that hand sanitizer is going to make her sick. Ok, I get it but she's 6 weeks old and hasn't had shots yet! Sorry but I'm going to be overprotective as a FTM and I don't think it's their place to say anything. Well guess what I won the battle and said my piece. Then I had a talk with DH and he completely agreed and said he did not do the right thing by not speaking up. I mean really why is asking you to rub a little hand sanitizer on your hands a big deal? do you like having dirty hands?
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  • RaisingJulianRaisingJulian member
    Ceridwen77 said:

    Christmas Eve we went to DH's family's house. A lot of people wanted to hold her and we offered up hand sanitizer to everyone before they did. Well when my MIL, her sister and her mother saw this they got on my case about it. Worst part is DH was right there and said nothing to them!! They went on about how the baby needs to be exposed to germs and that hand sanitizer is going to make her sick. Ok, I get it but she's 6 weeks old and hasn't had shots yet! Sorry but I'm going to be overprotective as a FTM and I don't think it's their place to say anything. Well guess what I won the battle and said my piece. Then I had a talk with DH and he completely agreed and said he did not do the right thing by not speaking up. I mean really why is asking you to rub a little hand sanitizer on your hands a big deal? do you like having dirty hands?


    Do we have the same MIL? Cuz I think we might! She acts like hand sanitizer & soap is freaking acid!
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  • Ceridwen77Ceridwen77 member
    RaisingJulian said:

    Ceridwen77 said:

    Christmas Eve we went to DH's family's house. A lot of people wanted to hold her and we offered up hand sanitizer to everyone before they did. Well when my MIL, her sister and her mother saw this they got on my case about it. Worst part is DH was right there and said nothing to them!! They went on about how the baby needs to be exposed to germs and that hand sanitizer is going to make her sick. Ok, I get it but she's 6 weeks old and hasn't had shots yet! Sorry but I'm going to be overprotective as a FTM and I don't think it's their place to say anything. Well guess what I won the battle and said my piece. Then I had a talk with DH and he completely agreed and said he did not do the right thing by not speaking up. I mean really why is asking you to rub a little hand sanitizer on your hands a big deal? do you like having dirty hands?


    Do we have the same MIL? Cuz I think we might! She acts like hand sanitizer & soap is freaking acid!
    The worst part is MIL has been with baby several times before this and when we asked her to wash her hands she had no qualms about it. She would even go right in the bathroom when arriving at our house to wash them. It seems like when she got around her family she got amnesia.
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  • NovemberSnoNovemberSno member
    ShianeNicole said:

    Oh Yesssss! I needed this post to vent!! Hate when people go on and on about my child's name. Her name is Elliot and she is A GIRL. Yes it is used as a boys name too. And I get it that she gets called a boy a lot. But after I correct you, drop it. It's none of your business why I named her that. I also hate when I tell people her name and they say "Oh but what do you call her?" .... ELLIOT BECAUSE THAT'S HER NAME... and no you may not call her "Ellie" so stop!!

    Omg I'm in the exact same boat. I named my daughter Jude. JUDE. Yes Jude is also and mostly used as a boy name but it has special meaning to us. ..not that it's anyone's business. And her name is JUDE Not judy so no u can't call her whatever you choose. Call her by her name!
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  • angelinthepit23angelinthepit23 member
    So now that we have a RNP and it has seemed to solve LO's nap issues - my MIL likes to tell me that I let him "sleep too much." Today he ate and slept for 2 1/2 hrs and then woke up for s bottle. After I burped him he passed out on my shoulder. My MIL who was visiting told me I need to keep him awake and do things with him to develope his muscles and mind. When he's up we play, but if he's sleepy I let him go. When I brought him home I had to wake him up to eat to get him weight back up and he was a crabby pants. Sleep away little man!
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  • cdepperschmidtcdepperschmidt member
    A baby can NEVER sleep too much (unless there is illness of course).
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  • rubirubi89rubirubi89 member
    Guess my mom makes it a point to tell EVERYONE how overprotective I am with my son because during christmas everyone that wanted to hold the baby actually ASKED for hand sanitizer first. Hey whatever works to get the point across!
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  • angelinthepit23angelinthepit23 member
    edited December 2015
    @cdepperschmidt I think she has hidden motives of telling me he sleeps too much so I will wake him up so she can then hold him. All I heard Christmas Day was about him always sleeping and her complaining about not being able to hold him. He's a human, not a new toy.
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  • rachswirachswi member
    @rubirubi89 I tell people I'm feeding a human being. I'll have another cookie if I want.

    My 11 year old niece reprimanded me for having a Coke yesterday because it has caffeine. Shush, kid. Momma hasn't slept and she'll have caffeine if she wants to. I know she got the idea from her parents (who likely said something to each other about me having a cup of half-caf coffee in the morning) and she's repeating it but still.
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  • NovemberSnoNovemberSno member
    thegoudalife said:

    ShianeNicole said:

    Oh Yesssss! I needed this post to vent!! Hate when people go on and on about my child's name. Her name is Elliot and she is A GIRL. Yes it is used as a boys name too. And I get it that she gets called a boy a lot. But after I correct you, drop it. It's none of your business why I named her that. I also hate when I tell people her name and they say "Oh but what do you call her?" .... ELLIOT BECAUSE THAT'S HER NAME... and no you may not call her "Ellie" so stop!!

    I must preface this by saying that I mean no offense in what I'm about to say. But you named your daughter a traditionally masculine name. I'd say it's an expected reaction to get from others upon learning what her name is and to get confusing looks/questions/comments.

    That's not to say it's okay for people to continue to harp on it but just that I can understand the intial reaction.
    I completely agree with you on this. When people initially call her a boy I laugh actually and say no she's a girl and not to embarrass them I say I know jude is originally a "boys" name. And also, I don't always dress her all up in pink. Girl outfits but some green or even blue (though she'll always have a pink something like blanket) and so when people are shocked when I say oh no she's a girl I reply with "yes, named her Jude and dressed her in blue...it's like I set her up for failure" and they always laugh. Those people I have no problem with but it's the people you know who knew the name and know she's a girl and keep on with it. I mean is it your name? Why does it bother you so much? That's how I want to respond. But I'm still pretty poilte. People will be people.
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  • threatlevelmidnightthreatlevelmidnight member
    Oh geez where to begin. We had Christmas at my grandparents house today and every time I nursed (with a cover), my grandma would tell me maybe I should go in her room for "privacy".... I politely declined. If babies can be fed bottles in public, why can't my baby nurse too?

    Also any time LO would fuss, even for just a split second, she would say "poor thing has a tummy ache" oh did he tell you that?

    Finally I was sick of him getting passed around so I put him in the boba wrap and the entire time he was in there, she was like "can he breathe?! He can't breathe in that thing!!" Then she made me take him out so she could hold him again and of course he wasn't happy about that and after she held him for about a minute, he started crying and she handed him back and said "he has a tummy ache" no I think you just made me wake him up and he was happy and content in the boba.. I have such a headache from dealing with her today lol

    Also about the name thing... My baby boy's name is Ezra and when we first went to the pedi and they called him back, the nurse said "Erza"
    And also everyone that asks what his name is, always asks again after I say Ezra. They're like "what is it??" Like I get it. It's a different name, but I didn't think people would ask me to repeat it lol
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  • ShianeNicoleShianeNicole member
    @NovemberSno @doodleoodle @AmoLovesAud

    GLAD IM NOT THE ONLY ONE! :smiley:


    @thegoudalife yes I agree. Like I said in my post, I get that she gets called a boy a lot. But after correcting them it's really none of their business. That is her name. People have an opinion on everything. Names, feeding, naps, hand washing, whatever. Everyone is going to judge every little thing. I have no problem telling people to mind their business, but I try to be as nice as possible so I'm glad this post was here to vent.
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  • taykerslaketaykerslake member
    @alyssaleighw my in laws say the same thing when Arlo fusses! He doesn't always have a tummy ache!! It's so annoying! Babies cry because you're disturbing him and pestering him while he's trying to sleep or you won't give him back to me so I can feed him! If he had a tummy ache that much then he would never want to eat!
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