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September 2015 Moms
mrsbacz
member
Christmas rants go here
mrsbacz
member
Let 'em loose ladies!
We had my in-laws over today and these are my top worst moments of the day:
1. My MIL screaming in my face "he's not hungry, he doesn't want it! Stop he doesn't want it! Give him to me." While I'm trying to feed him. I left the room and fed him in the nursery and ta da, ate the whole thing. He doesn't eat when people are screaming at him!
2. I sat him in his bumbo for a minute to show my SIL what it's like because she was thinking of getting one for her baby, and I literally didn't even take my hands off of him. MIL screams, "You're hurting him, you're hurting him!!" Like I would ever do anything to hurt my child. She's about to be hurt, but that's it.
3. FIL was in the kitchen, MIL was holding my baby in the living room. She told him to come in the living room and hold the baby and he goes, "I've held him before, I know what he looks like." The only time he held him was in the hospital when he was born. No comment on that one.
Phew! Thanks ladies. I hope you all had wonderful holidays and hopefully have no rants, but I'm here if you do!
We had my in-laws over today and these are my top worst moments of the day:
1. My MIL screaming in my face "he's not hungry, he doesn't want it! Stop he doesn't want it! Give him to me." While I'm trying to feed him. I left the room and fed him in the nursery and ta da, ate the whole thing. He doesn't eat when people are screaming at him!
2. I sat him in his bumbo for a minute to show my SIL what it's like because she was thinking of getting one for her baby, and I literally didn't even take my hands off of him. MIL screams, "You're hurting him, you're hurting him!!" Like I would ever do anything to hurt my child. She's about to be hurt, but that's it.
3. FIL was in the kitchen, MIL was holding my baby in the living room. She told him to come in the living room and hold the baby and he goes, "I've held him before, I know what he looks like." The only time he held him was in the hospital when he was born. No comment on that one.
Phew! Thanks ladies. I hope you all had wonderful holidays and hopefully have no rants, but I'm here if you do!
Re: Christmas rants go here
For us... So far so good... But I feel like I'll be back here in no time
Glad your holiday went well!
My mom gives up thanksgiving with us so we can have that day with DH's huge family. So I was trying to make it so we went to the IL's for Xmas eve and my mom's for Christmas. Nope. MIL threw a fit and said that wasn't fair and he can miss his naps for one day. I got so mad I couldn't see straight. Told her whatever and it almost ruined the day. My mom was so upset that she can't have one holiday. So I will definitely be more adamant about it next year. My mom is the ONLY family I have. She deserves at least one day!! More because of everything she does for us! I could go on and on about how today should have gone. I cried. On Christmas!! I will be having a discussion with the ILs in the next few days because I didn't want to ruin their day. I guess I'm just nice like that. Ugh okay, rant over (:
I'm terribly sorry about your ILs though. Your MIL sounds awfully overbearing and intense.
The neighbor kept taking photos with the flash on, close range to LO, and then would take pictures when baby started screaming and would say "do one more" as we tried to stop.
We left later than we wanted also, but my mom said it was best Christmas Eve ever because of my LO so I we survived and it was worth it
Congrats on surviving the holidays ladies!!
And unfortunately, this is nothing in the realm of all that I've dealt with with my MIL. I should write a book so I could at least make some money off of it haha. Glad your Christmas went well!
SIL mailed a gift, it's this weird seaweed wrapped pretzel type thing and it says on the package "the state of California requires package inform you a product in this food has been found to cause cancer and birth defects." Um...
Today at my DH's uncles house... About 30 people tried to hold LO and pass her around in a room. Three teen girls decided to spray the entire room with their new Victoria secret perfumes and it burned my eyes and I was furious LO was being exposed to that. Have some common courtesy, you morons.
DH got drunk and refused to let us leave his uncles so LO skipped her nap and we paid for it later.
Pretty sure my blood pressure soared so high I almost blacked out.
Christmas Day went a little better but I'm still not happy with that fight. He makes me feel like the bad person all the time and then makes snotty comments. Like "well aren't you bleeping perfect," for example.
Can't wait to get through the holidays.
Also, my mom has bought tons of stuff to make LO comfortable at her house. So he actually naps while we're there and it's so nice. My ILs haven't changed a thing for him. But they did just get themselves a brand new bedroom set! If we want to lay him down we have to bring our own bouncer or bassinet. He never sleeps when we're there though. He usually spends most of our time there crying/screaming.
So last night was awful! Not only did I feel bad for my mom but LO was wayyyyyy overtired. It took him forever to go down for his last evening nap because he'd been up for three and a half hours! I told DH that crap is NOT happening again. And he agreed! Luckily he usually backs me up when it comes to our son (:
The asthma thing is a really good point! I had it when I was younger and my parents had to stop smoking in my house and around me.
I just wish my SO was on board with me so he could be the one to tell her why we don't go over there (all her other grandkids do). I just feel like me saying it will put me in an awkward situation.
Then my parents Skyped us and the first comment out of my mom's mouth is that LO needs to go on a diet. Who says that to a 4 month old?? Yes, his cheeks are very chubby and he's certainly not scrawny, but his doctor says he's perfectly healthy.
So, my family surely missed my brother on Xmas Eve and he left today without saying goodbye. My older kids are upset. I miss who my brother used to be.
MIL asked what baby wanted for Christmas...myself and hubby both told her PLEASE NO TOYS. Our house is small and already closing in on us with the multiple bouncers, playmats, stuffed animals, etc. from friends/family (mind you, he's three months and can't even play with half of it yet). We asked for books or donations towards his college fund (best to do that now while he's little and doesn't care about presents yet). So what did she get is? EASILY a grand worth of toys, stuffed animals, playmats, bouncers, etc.
Here's the kicker, she kept the receipts and we have to ask for them in order to return. We asked for about half (although I wanted to get rid of all of it) and she CRIED saying we were ungrateful. W T F. My husband is DROWNING in student loans because she did the same thing to him growing up instead of the putting the thousands upon thousands of dollars she spends on crap in the damn college account where it belongs!!!!!
I'll never understand the way she blows through money. The stuff under the tree could have been a semester worth of books (can you tell I'm a teacher hahaha).
Phew! Feels good to get it out!
Ha! I know he is tall and thick but he isn't even in the 90%, just 80% last we checked! I always hear how big he is...almost like I'm doing something wrong?! His highest percentile is height, not weight! It's just weird people act like he's a freak of nature. My DH and I are not short, so he's going to be tall. Get over it people.
I did get really mad at DH on Christmas Eve though. He was wrapping some presents for my family while I was working on some other things. He had the box with my Aunt's present on the dining room table and walked down to the basement for a minute. I'm assuming he left it close enough to the edge because my dog knocked it off and the head of the angel broke off. I just went off on him because I was so stressed from the rest of the week. He felt horrible and so did I. I apologized for being so angry.
DH'S mom's side is tomorrow and it's the first time they've met LO, so hopefully everything will still go well.
Mine is pretty minor compared to a lot of yours, but here I go anyways. I have not bought any clothes for my LO, she was gifted tons and tons (which I am grateful for.) But I really wanted to pick out her dress for her first Christmas and made this clear to my mom and MIL. So of course MIL buys her one and then I get guilt tripped from my mom, so she buys her one too. The one my mom got she wore with Santa and on Christmas Eve. It for her well and was cute. The one MIL bought was way too big but I put her in it anyways. DH said she looked rediculous but he knows how his mom is. We get it IL's and the poor baby is being ridiculed by everyone because of how stupidly big this dress was! Thank goodness she is too little to develop a complex. Sometimes there is no winning when trying to please people.
Oh and when my niece asked DS what Santa brought, he told her about his gift. Her response (along with her twin brother) was "Santa only brought you ONE gift?! We got ten!" Their parents were mortified but unfortunately kids don't understand value. DS was spoiled rotten anyways so yes Santa only brought him one gift.
I hate to feel that way because I sound like a huge bitch. I can see how they'd think we sound ungrateful, but some people need to focus on what's important about the holidays and not focus on material things. I saw a cheesy meme that said something like "Christmas needs to be more about presence instead of presents," and k couldn't agree more! That's why DH said we'll just start celebrating Festivus instead!
I DESPERATELY need my MIL to grow up and see the damage she's already caused by teaching her children that if you don't have what you want, you simple put it on a credit card or take out a loan. You don't have to be rich to make responsible decisions that essentially last a lifetime. I'm most likely blowing this out of proportion and perhaps it's stemmed from past resentment but come on lady!!!!
Background: DH is an only child, he's divorced and we have 2 kids from his previous marriage and LO. This is our 3rd Christmas living together/married, 4th total. Both of our sets of parents live about 45 minutes away, almost all of my extended family live within an hours drive from us. We have the older two kids every other year for Christmas.
In the 3 years that we have done Christmas, my inlaws havent managed to make for one full celebration.
2013: totally flaked and didn't come to be with their grandkids who they claim are their entire world.
2014: came for "Christmas" with my parents and us, but cancelled last minute when it came to coming for the extended family portion of the holiday.
2015: came to our house in the morning and planned to stay for the extended family celebration but left because it started snowing and they were "worried about the dog." They leave that damn dog alone for 13 hours when it suits them. But not for Christmas.
I get that my extended family isn't their family, but they want to be! And they want my inlaws to come and stay. I like my inlaws very much. I want them to feel like they are welcome. I just don't get it! Why is your dog more important than your son and his family?!?!?!
Argh!
And it isn't just frustrating to me - I think the kids are truly hurt by it! They're 6 and 9, and during their parents split, DHs parents were a neutral and constant part of their lives. They don't say it, but I know they're broken hearted when they flake.
It happened again yesterday. She told us she was going to come the day before so we waited around, even though we had made other plans (cancelled them). She then called around 2:30 p.m. Saying she couldn't come because she had to pick her other sons kids up at 4p.m. They live 45 minutes away...
1. Could she not have known that before 2:30 p.m.???
2. Could she not have woken up before noon for one friggin' day to come see him in the morning??
We're going to his family dinner tonight (at his sisters) and I'm just not in the mood to see her.
I'm just going to fake a smile and get through it for SO and baby.
I find it crazy that your MIL refuses to come see him.. Sounds awful!
Mine just constantly makes plans to come see him and cancels.
MIL posted about 10 pictures of my son to her FB which I've told her a million times I don't want him on there but she won't listen. She told my husband, "it's Christmas and I'm doing it whether you like it or not." Which my husband never told me and told her fine, so we need to be on the same page about that. Then on the one picture of my son she writes that he's "always covered in puke" which is NOT true in the least. She's making me look like a bad mother. Then writes a status thanking her "wonderful son" for cooking such a great meal after working SO many hours all week to support his family. One, I'm on maternity leave for one more week. Two, I cooked that meal and a homemade pie while taking care of your grandson. I can't with this woman.
My MIL today, kept complaining about not seeing the boys and how she doesn't get to see LO like DS1, because I went back to work with my first for a few months (she watched DS1 part time and her actions are a part of the reason I became a SAHM) She never invites us over, is a total wench when we do visit, and drives by our house almost every day but doesn't bother to make plans to stop by. Then I asked her to watch DS next week so I can take LO to his check up in relative peace and she's busy...happens almost every time.
On Christmas Eve, I took DD to work with me. I was only working half a day, and the office was pretty empty anyway. She did wonderfully. I took her home thinking we could rest before 2 dinners that night. Her naps lately have been very short though. We made it through one mostly fine, but she was already getting tired. We went to the second one late, and the house was roasting hot. DH stayed outside most of the night, which was fine. As soon as we got there, people started passing her around. She was hot and tired, so one cousin tried to give her back to me. Another cousin took her and insisted she knew how to calm her down. (I like to call DD high maintenance because only her dad, and her 2 grandmas, and I know how to calm her.) So, she proceeded to take DD into another room and try to walk her around. I tend to avoid confrontation, so I followed her around for at least 30 minutes passively making comments about her being tired and needing to go to sleep. When she finally gave her back, I found a quiet room and got DD to sleep. But the moment she falls asleep, my cousin finds me and insists and staying in there and talking to me the entire time. Eventually, her husband and child join her with some drama until they end up waking DD up. By the time I get away from them, I have an overtired baby and have missed seeing most of my family that I only get to see on holidays.
Conversation:
FIL: "He's taking about things that need to be talked about. It sounds racist, but.."
Me: "if you have to start a sentence like that whatever you're about to say is racist."
We almost had to break out the Adele.