My husbands mom and sister have kept my 4 month old overnight once before. They want to again. am I a bad mom for letting her spend the night away from me so young? She is bottle fed, and she did a really good job the first time. I cried a lot, but I am so exhausted I can barely see straight. I have no help at home from my husband. He was raised in a family where the men do not help with babies at all.. It is really stressful for me and I feel bad for needing a break. I love my baby so much, but it is really taking its toll on me.
Re: Am I a bad mom?
As for your husband, that is just sad. I certainly hope that is something that was discussed before you made the decision to have a baby. I know plenty of men who "came from" that type of family that are very active/hands on Dads. I can't even imagine my husband telling me he isn't going to help, but I guess every family is different.
Hell no you aren't a bad mom. If anything you are a GOOD mom for realizing you need to take care of yourself. If you aren't taken care of then it's pretty hard taking care of others. You deserve a break too.
The bigger problem here is your husband not helping. My H never did MOTN feedings but he sure as hell does lots of other things to help. Men don't get a free pass to sit back and not do shit just because they are men. A marriage is a partnership and you definitely need help with a young baby so I'd be having a serious talk with your husband about all of this.
You're an AWESOME mom. Ours have done overnights earlier than 4 mos!
And my little guy spent the night with my parents at 7 weeks and will be again here at 14 weeks. You are a good mom.
I don't feel bad for him one bit. Being a SAHM is a full time job and it's really freaking hard. I work out of the house full time and so does my husband but neither of us have the option to do NOTHING when we get home from work because we are tired.
He needs to grow up and you need to make sure he does! Unfortunately you are raising 2 kids.
Married: Oct 20, 2013
BFP 1: Aug 31, 2015
EDD 1: May 12, 2016
DD1 Emma born May 12, 2016
An Honest Account of New Motherhood (with Postpartum Anxiety, Depression, and OCD)
BFP 2: October 07, 2019
EDD 2: June 20, 2020
Then he may wake up to how much you really do for your family.
I can imagine going through all of this so young is taxing on the both of you and your relationship, you should take a night to ask him if he has any fears/anxieties that are keeping him from being a good dad.
Don't get me wrong I completely agree with pp in laughing if their husbands said that but their husbands may be able to handle that more than a younger man would. Laughter and hostility may breed more distance, and it sounds like you need all the support you can get right now!
Slept more than an hour in three days my mom took LO in her room
For the night so I could sleep, it helped and honestly I was a better mom after that than I was before I got the sleep. She's offered to do it again I just haven't needed it. Take the sleep you'll feel better if you get some.