UO Thursday

BostonBaby1 · December 2015

Let's hear your opinions of the unpopular kind...

BostonBaby1 · December 2015

My UO-

I loathe sex disappointment threads. This may not be completely unpopular, but even if there is a little bit of normalcy to have a tiny bit of disappointment, I feel that it's something that should be worked out on your own/with a therapist/partner rather than on a board of pregnant women, many of whom have lost babies. I can't tell you how thrilled I would be to have a healthy baby. After losing four in a row, I would take each one of them back happily no matter what their sex.

Fears of raising a child that you don't think you may be able to relate to are completely different IMHO. Fear I understand, disappointment I do not.

Leads to my 2nd UO: I also can't stand when people tell them it's OK to feel like this and vent to the board. It never goes over well, and always ends up with people that are hurt and angry.

ButterMyBiscuit · December 2015

When people think gender and sex are the same. It makes me rage-y.

thebigoaktree · December 2015

My 1st U/O,
I'm finding pregnant women around me annoying not all but some. Usually comes down to telling me I'm doing something wrong or if it's a girl I'll be buying pink. The new one this morning was a woman butting in to a conversation about another woman recommending those anti ms bracelets. I was mentioning nicely how I really didn't think I needed it now at this point or really at all, then this random girl lets me know, "She hates women like me because she's been super sick." It took every ounce of my being to not destroy her. Good vibes, really trying to keep good vibes.

2nd,
When people judge people because they're going to be a mother and still focus on their jobs and climbing that ladder. This is not 1950, women can do anything that want, however they want and 99% of the time better than any man.

MamaBish · December 2015

My uo: I don't care if people ask us to Ramzi their baby. I hope they don't care that I have no idea what I'm doing

chanfa · December 2015

I also have to second thinking gender=sex.

Everytime I read someone make the confusion between the two I want to throw my phone

afrazer521 · December 2015

Hmm UO huh....I hate when people refer to my bump by a name. With ds I had 2 names and we chose one literally as they were pulling him from my stomach. I'm all for thinking of names ahead of time, but I feel like part of me needs to SEE the baby or know their personality better, aka be further along, to chose the name they'll use the rest of their life. So to the point. I hate when people just start calling my baby a name it isn't even named yet. For example. My friend will text me and ask how Paul Jr is (hubs name and not EVEN a possibility for baby's name). Don't know why but it bugs me to all hell. I know lots of mom's have names picked out for a long time and are hard set on the baby's name before they're born, but that just isn't me. I had people actually upset with me that I hadn't settled on a name with my ds. So my potentially uo, I'm fine with you calling my baby nicknames, but don't force a name on them that a) I haven't chosen and b) is not a definitive choice.

thebigoaktree · December 2015

ButterMyBiscuit said:

When people think gender and sex are the same. It makes me rage-y.

This...all of this.

Singingmama10 · December 2015

Going off of the sex disappointment post.... I only have my DS, but already people are asking me... "so if you have another boy are you going to try for a girl"?
I am very girly so people assume that I won't be happy if I don't have a girl and this enrages me! If I do have another boy and people ask me if I'm going to try for a girl I think my response will be (if my boys are not around obviously) "so are you saying my boys aren't enough, because I assure you that they are"!
Having a girl would be amazing... but having my two boys would be just as rewarding!

blackgirlmagic · December 2015

I get that people want others to know the difference between gender and sex but everyone and their mother do not need to comment on one post saying the exact same thing over and over again. We have to understand that some people will say gender over sex. And they will say gender reveal parties and not sex reveal parties, because lets be real a sex reveal party does not sound like finding out the sex of the baby. I have heard many doctors call the sex of the baby gender.
I get the difference but not everyone will. If one person mentions the difference in the post, I'm sure that they get the point.

jlgriff11 · December 2015

I think we should also understand that while we should educate people who do not know that there's a difference, not everyone is just being ignorant. I live in a small Midwestern town, and while you may say there's no excuse for it in this day and age, the fact is that lots of people in lots of areas around the United States and other countries, just don't know. They just don't know that there's a difference. Educate if you want so they do, but I don't think there's any reason to be a bitch about it.

thebigoaktree · December 2015

I have a cousin who was born with both parts, and is now in his 30's finally getting the help he needs to make the transition that his parents should have been more educated on in the get go. I'm going to educate people, because I can see the importance of it first hand and how he was harassed at his job because people were un-educated. This is important, and I'm sorry if some people are not exposed to it, but you can't get all bent up about it when someone wants to make that point.

edit to add* I'm also a little angry about this because I got told yesterday that if I have a girl I'm going to have to buy pink no matter what. People are ignorant and annoying.

noelietrex · December 2015

I hate family! And I only love Christmas alone in my house while watching it on TV. Christmas in real life with real family is overrated as hell.

Also since being home I've had my belly touched about 5 times (sheesh the south huh) and I thought I'd hate it, but I kind of love it even from people I'm not close with. The belly is magical and I feel like other people recognize that and just want to share in the magic and joy for a moment. Good thing its feeling pretty hard this week

DominiqueU · December 2015

noelietrex said:
I hate family! And I only love Christmas alone in my house while watching it on TV. Christmas in real life with real family is overrated as hell.

Also since being home I've had my belly touched about 5 times (sheesh the south huh) and I thought I'd hate it, but I kind of love it even from people I'm not close with. The belly is magical and I feel like other people recognize that and just want to share in the magic and joy for a moment. Good thing its feeling pretty hard this week

I kind of feel like a troll doll with a gem belly button...

quartz02 · December 2015

When working in HR, my boss told me to change "sex" to "gender" on a formal report on the demographics of our employees because he was uncomfortable with the word "sex". So dumb. I tried to explain the difference but to a stubborn 65 year old, he just wasn't getting it.

afrazer521 · December 2015

@noelietrex I never minded my belly being touched. When I was pregnant with my son I remember my mom asking if she could touch my belly and I was like...you're my mom you don't have to ask me lol. I don't think my dad ever really cared to touch my belly, but he loved when I was nursing ds. And before that creeps people out my dad is a pretty sensitive guy and just thinks it's a beautiful and marvelous thing that a mother can provide for her child like that. He too was worried it would bother me and would ask all quietly if he minded if he was in the same room while I was nursing. I'm such an open book people touching and nursing in front of people never bothered me lol

joleri23 · December 2015

jlgriff11 said:

I think we should also understand that while we should educate people who do not know that there's a difference, not everyone is just being ignorant. I live in a small Midwestern town, and while you may say there's no excuse for it in this day and age, the fact is that lots of people in lots of areas around the United States and other countries, just don't know. They just don't know that there's a difference. Educate if you want so they do, but I don't think there's any reason to be a bitch about it.

Totally! But I have to say that someone at a party the other week kept calling Caitlyn Jenner "he" and I kinda sorta flipped out a little bit on her. I didn't mean to but it just upset me so much. She kept saying she was entitled to her opinion but I was like, "It's not an opinion, it's a FACT that SHE is a WOMAN."

m8881 · December 2015

I'm due June 30 so go between June and July boards and my unpopular opinion is I don't understand all the anger here on the July board. There are some members who get ragey about everything. June is much more chilled out. Before you kick me over to June, I'm not upset or anything, just noticing and suggesting for some to relax a little. OK time to bite off my head now, I'm AMA I can take it.

ButterMyBiscuit · December 2015

@m8881 We're different women with different viewpoints and life experiences maybe? Enjoy June.

MotherOfDucks · December 2015

June is probably done with their MS. Those bitches. And before the moderators come ban me... I'm just kidding!

Hoping we can all take a joke this morning...

stillcozy · December 2015

m8881 said:
I'm due June 30 so go between June and July boards and my unpopular opinion is I don't understand all the anger here on the July board. There are some members who get ragey about everything. June is much more chilled out. Before you kick me over to June, I'm not upset or anything, just noticing and suggesting for some to relax a little. OK time to bite off my head now, I'm AMA I can take it.

Each board is different. You don't know what different experiences each woman goes through or has gone thorough and what may trigger negative experiences. Just because people here have chosen to be honest and upfront about their feelings doesn't mean it's bad. If you like a board go there it's all about preference I personally chose this board over June because the ladies here got me and called me things I needed to be called on. They are also incredibly supportive and have helped me through some incredibly tough days!

Eta: spelling and you don't have to leave but people aren't going I beg you stay when you generalize the board.

TattoosandLace · December 2015

My UO is that DH and I aren't making a huge deal out of DD's first Christmas. We got her some presents, did the Santa picture, but we didn't put up our tree because quite frankly I was exhausted. Because I'm recovering from having the stomach flu yesterday and DH went to work for a friend, DD got one of her presents early so she can play with it while I lay on the couch with my Gatorade.

stillcozy · December 2015

TattoosandLace said:
My UO is that DH and I aren't making a huge deal out of DD's first Christmas. We got her some presents, did the Santa picture, but we didn't put up our tree because quite frankly I was exhausted. Because I'm recovering from having the stomach flu yesterday and DH went to work for a friend, DD got one of her presents early so she can play with it while I lay on the couch with my Gatorade.

You gotta do you and make it through. It's not like she will remember

and trees are so much freaking work! Not looking forward to taking it down! Wishing I hadn't put it up! Hope you feel better soon!

soberkfell · December 2015

@Lindsayleigh1989 I'll be leaving mine up through the end of January for that very reason. It was a lot of work to finally put up... I'm not in any hurry to take it back down!

stillcozy · December 2015

soberkfell said:
@Lindsayleigh1989 I'll be leaving mine up through the end of January for that very reason. It was a lot of work to finally put up... I'm not in any hurry to take it back down!

New plan! Thanks for this!

Nerdchild · December 2015

UO: I don't care how 'tacky' it is to plan your own baby shower. I know what I want; a bbq with no games, no decorations, a mix of male and female friends, and the main feature NOT being a bunch of gifts and everyone being forced to coo about my baby. If that's your thing, you do you, but don't tell me the experience I need to have. I just want to gather with friends and hang out. And I don't need some 23 year old single girl telling me what I should do because her sister just did it with her baby. Back off.

blackgirlmagic · December 2015

joleri23 said:

jlgriff11 said:

I think we should also understand that while we should educate people who do not know that there's a difference, not everyone is just being ignorant. I live in a small Midwestern town, and while you may say there's no excuse for it in this day and age, the fact is that lots of people in lots of areas around the United States and other countries, just don't know. They just don't know that there's a difference. Educate if you want so they do, but I don't think there's any reason to be a bitch about it.

Totally! But I have to say that someone at a party the other week kept calling Caitlyn Jenner "he" and I kinda sorta flipped out a little bit on her. I didn't mean to but it just upset me so much. She kept saying she was entitled to her opinion but I was like, "It's not an opinion, it's a FACT that SHE is a WOMAN."

QFB

Caitlyn did say that she does not care if people call her a he or she. So maybe she needs to change her tune about what she wants to be called. She clearly cannot be called a women and a man at the same time. She is a big role model in that community right now so she needs to get her facts straight.

Nerdchild · December 2015

@m8881 Each board has a different climate. Some of the women in this board, I can say for sure, have had a really rough time getting/staying/being pregnant, and that will make anyone salty. It's all about picking your battles, and that's not just talk, as I'm sure a couple of these UO's are directed at me this morning. Is it worth it getting my panties in a bunch and firing back and calling everyone bullies? No, they aren't bullies, they are people with opinions and not everyone likes what everyone has to say all of the time. As a whole, the women here are wonderful, supportive, and a great outlet. Everyone has their b**** moments, and I'm not going to begrudge anyone of their b****ness, because I'm guilty of it too.

At this time, I remember the words of my mother: Is it more important to be right, or is it more important to get along?

Edit: forgot about the pg13 police

ncm1919 · December 2015

I think about 90% of what is discussed on this board should probably be worked out on your own, with a doctor or a therapist. I think it's a slippery slope to start telling people what they can and cannot share or how they should share it. There is a reason people come here to talk about this stuff- it's nice to bounce opinions/admit to stuff that is embarrassing off a neutral audience and frankly your family would dissown you if you obsessed like this in the real world.

The weight posts are a trigger for me. I've struggled with disordered eating and the loss of control with pregnancy is something that is dredging up a lot of old feelings. I don't think it's fair that I expect no one on here to post about it. I just avoid the threads.

I think we expect everyone to be sensitive of our own situations- it's only fair to reciprocate even if their experience is 180 degrees different.

And before I get the loss>eating disorder and I don't know my ass from my elbow comments... you don't know my history in either area. I think the fact that I feel the need to include this disclaimer says something about the climate in this board lately.

Y0urm0m · December 2015

I guess my UO is that I don't mind when people mix up sex and gender. I can't get ragey at someone who is uneducated. Correct them and move one

Eta I should probably throughly read the whole thread before posting

Y0urm0m · December 2015

@Natinat6 I suffer from an ED too, I think we should be able to talk about it with no shame. The less we talk about the normal weight gain the more triggery it is for me.

Nerdchild · December 2015

@Natinat6 I've also suffered from disordered eating. If you ever want a buddy to commiserate with, shoot me a pm.

stillcozy · December 2015

@Natinat6 you are not alone struggling with pregnancy and disordered eating. I've posted about my struggle about how it is bringing up anxiety. While "90% of what is discussed should be discussed in therapy" its been really helpful to get support from others who have similar struggles. Or being able to support someone else even if it's different than my own. I think it's important to remember that most of the time people are asking for consideration when people are posting things that trigger them.

msuzannah · December 2015

Hey! I was in rehab for an eating disorder last year! It's nice to know there are women here to offer support and who can understand how I feel about certain things!

My UO: I hate everything to do with the Jenners, Kardashians and the Duggars. Did you know that one of the Duggars recently had a baby and it was painful?! Child birth is painful!?! I had no f&@king idea. (Insert sarcastic eyeroll here). Also Kim had her baby so now we no longer have to hear her bi*#% and moan about it.

thebigoaktree · December 2015

Nerdchild said:
UO: I don't care how 'tacky' it is to plan your own baby shower. I know what I want; a bbq with no games, no decorations, a mix of male and female friends, and the main feature NOT being a bunch of gifts and everyone being forced to coo about my baby. If that's your thing, you do you, but don't tell me the experience I need to have. I just want to gather with friends and hang out. And I don't need some 23 year old single girl telling me what I should do because her sister just did it with her baby. Back off.

I want to hang out with you in a non creepy internet way. I'm on the baby-Q way of having the shower. Less stress.

katietabor22 · December 2015

My UO is that I hate posts saying "I'm scared I'm going to miscarry". This mainly happens in a FB group I'm part of, I haven't seen it here.. No symptoms, no bleeding, just jitters. I find it a little insensitive to the moms that are having complications and news flash: WE ARE ALL WORRIED but we don't all have to post about it so 30 strangers can tell us to "hang in there, Hun"... There's nothing wrong with you but two posts down is a girl sitting in the ER waiting to find out what her bleeding means...

This may be mean, I don't know, I'm feeling pretty bitchy after I spent my morning at work throwing up just to have a coworker tell me that my MS is all in my head.

thebigoaktree · December 2015

BeachTigress said:

joleri23 said:

jlgriff11 said:

I think we should also understand that while we should educate people who do not know that there's a difference, not everyone is just being ignorant. I live in a small Midwestern town, and while you may say there's no excuse for it in this day and age, the fact is that lots of people in lots of areas around the United States and other countries, just don't know. They just don't know that there's a difference. Educate if you want so they do, but I don't think there's any reason to be a bitch about it.

Totally! But I have to say that someone at a party the other week kept calling Caitlyn Jenner "he" and I kinda sorta flipped out a little bit on her. I didn't mean to but it just upset me so much. She kept saying she was entitled to her opinion but I was like, "It's not an opinion, it's a FACT that SHE is a WOMAN."

QFB

Caitlyn did say that she does not care if people call her a he or she. So maybe she needs to change her tune about what she wants to be called. She clearly cannot be called a women and a man at the same time. She is a big role model in that community right now so she needs to get her facts straight.

She's not the best spokes person for transgender people because of how flippant she is about this. Then you have a woman like Laverne Cox, who is amazing.

Nerdchild · December 2015

@msuzannah Ugh, so much this. Who cares?!

@thebigoaktree No creepiness felt here, internet friends rock.

stillcozy · December 2015

@msuzannah you are my favorite I hate the duggars and kardashians. But my housewives oh bless the housewives! Also Teresa is back!!

Nerdchild · December 2015

I feel like the odd man out because the closest I get to reality t.v. are all of the murder shows on Investigation Discovery! WATCH ALL THE MURDER SHOWS!

m8881 · December 2015

Lindsayleigh1989 said:

m8881 said:
I'm due June 30 so go between June and July boards and my unpopular opinion is I don't understand all the anger here on the July board. There are some members who get ragey about everything. June is much more chilled out. Before you kick me over to June, I'm not upset or anything, just noticing and suggesting for some to relax a little. OK time to bite off my head now, I'm AMA I can take it.
Each board is different. You don't know what different experiences each woman goes through or has gone thorough and what may trigger negative experiences. Just because people here have chosen to be honest and upfront about their feelings doesn't mean it's bad. If you like a board go there it's all about preference I personally chose this board over June because the ladies here got me and called me things I needed to be called on. They are also incredibly supportive and have helped me through some incredibly tough days!

Eta: spelling and you don't have to leave but people aren't going I beg you stay when you generalize the board.

I would never expect anyone to beg or even want me to stay

I'm not the most active poster so no one cares either way I'm sure. Just pointing out what seems like an unhealthy vibe on here.
I think my problem is that I don't come on these boards for support - I'm lucky to have that from friends and family and I understand not everyone has that - but more to get info and ideas and the occasional laugh or rant. I will occasionally post to support others though. All the people who get offended and upset over every little thing instead of moving on, well it seems unhealthy and its tiresome to read on nearly every post. I do love a good rant though!

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