Newbie. :)

Britty34 · November 2015

Hi there! My name is Britt && I'm new here. I've been stalking the page for the last few days. I've recently decided that I'm ready to start a family of my own (besides my dogs of course, they're family too)! I have casually mentioned something to my hubby twice now but didn't really push the conversation too much. I'm not a big talker so getting the conversation started isn't the easiest thing for me. Any tips && suggestions are gladly accepted. Other than that, I just wanted to say hi && introduce myself. I'm hoping to get the husband on board soon so we can start TTC.

Pupatella · November 2015

Hi and welcome!!! Just have an open and honest conversation with your husband. Be honest, and be open to hearing what he has to say. Best of luck!!

SLou24 · November 2015

Welcome and good luck! I agree with @pupatella, being totally open and honest is really the best way to go about this. Have you guys talked about starting a family in the past? As in "oh, someday when we're ready..."? If so, you can bring up what you may have talked about in the past, mentioning that you're starting to feel ready, and hopefully he's on the same page. If not, talk it out, and come up with a plan -- best of luck!

Lysta85 · November 2015

We've talked often of having kids someday in the far away future but this year I asked him to be more precise about when. Took me a month to gather enough courage to ask it. Not that i'm afraid of him, but I was afraid he would have reasons not to start with kids again. One week I told myself to ask him before the week was over. I did and he told me no. Was so mad at him and at myself for getting my hopes up. But the next day he also had some thoughts about it and we agreed on starting TTC in December.

Jodi1980 · November 2015

My husband wasn't exactly on board either early on. I can honestly say to you, don't be afraid to express your desire. He may resist but talking and communication is what you both need to make it happen right?! He needs to understand your needs but with understanding, there is compromise. Let him indulge in something he likes to do. It may make him think, in a good way! Good luck Britt!

Britty34 · November 2015

Thanks ladies! Like I said, I'm not much of a conversationalist and the last few days I've been trying to talk myself into bringing it up again, but always end up not doing. I'm really going to try to this weekend. I think I'm more afraid of a "no" than talking about it which is making it hard to find the courage to ask.

myjessesgirl · November 2015

I tend to have to work up to conversations, too, but I try to look at it logically, which seems to help: worst thing he could say is no, or not now. Best thing is sure, right away. But if you don't ask at all, then nothing will change and it is a definite no! And if you talk to him about it now and he says no or wait awhile, then it gives you a good reason to bring it up again in the future. Good luck!

Britty34 · November 2015

Thanks. I tried to bring it up and asked if it was something he wanted to talk about and he said "I don't care" so the conversation didn't progress any further. It's just discouraging. I feel like when he says I don't care it's because it's not something he wants to talk about but he doesn't want to say it.

JenandJosh1310 · November 2015

I was afraid to bring it up to my husband too-mainly bc i had been on the "no kids" side for a while. Im a weirdo and just blurted it out and then immediately teared up haha. Ill be honest its been like 4 months and he hasnt said yes for sure. His main concern is finances ( and ours have a lot of cleaning up that needs to be done) even though he didnt jump for joy and say yes i felt so much better after we talked. I bring up every so often but keep it to myself or come here haha so i dont talk his ear off. Its scary but just do it! Good luck!

Lysta85 · November 2015

Britty34 said:

Thanks. I tried to bring it up and asked if it was something he wanted to talk about and he said "I don't care" so the conversation didn't progress any further. It's just discouraging. I feel like when he says I don't care it's because it's not something he wants to talk about but he doesn't want to say it.

Can imagine how you feel. Mine said "no" at first (but luckily said yes the day after). Try to stay optimistic and maybe you can find another day/evening to start the conversation again. "I don't care" is probably the worst answer ever since now you still don't know anything. Good luck.

Britty34 · November 2015

Yeah, it's an awful answer. I was thinking about bringing it up again tonight (depending on how the night goes). I'm also thinking about being more to the point and just telling him I want a baby and hopefully that will get some sort of reaction out of him.

Joannak91 · December 2015

Hi and welcome!!! I would just be open and honest with him. Communication is key!

Xstatic3333 · December 2015

Britty34 said:
Yeah, it's an awful answer. I was thinking about bringing it up again tonight (depending on how the night goes). I'm also thinking about being more to the point and just telling him I want a baby and hopefully that will get some sort of reaction out of him.

One thing I've found is that my H, though he wants to TTC, finds it hard to talk about it. It's like for him it's a given and NBD, so he doesn't feel like it needs a big conversation.

You should be honest, though. Were you in agreement about kids someday when you got married?

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