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October 2015 Moms
kayce49
member
Anyone else's MIL driving them crazy?
kayce49
member
My MIL is driving me nuts. She is so needy. She acts like he's her son and not her grandson. She's asked my husband to make sure I come to her for advice and is jealous when I spend time with my mom. She has no awareness of how much she annoys me. And is so self centered that she rarely seems to consider my feelings.
She would show up to the hospital after he was born at 7pm and stick around looking at YouTube on her phone for two hours while I was crying out of frustration and exhaustion.
She insists that the baby looks like her, not me and my husband.
She thanked me for "sharing him" and reminded me that she knows how to handle a baby.
She asked that her 12 year old daughter watch my delivery because it would be good "birth control"
She insists that she is the babies favorite smell.
When someone asked who's baby he was, she out right said he was her baby. Then corrected and said her grandchild.
If my mom posts a picture of the baby on FB she tells me that she was jealous to see that I was with my mom.
She was mad at me for not going to her dinner party when I has mastitis.
She told me it was my fault that the baby was born three weeks early.
Last week she was so pushy about not seeing the baby enough that my husband asked me to come up with reasons for her to watch him.
Her behavior makes me not want to be around her. And makes me want to keep my son from her.
And I am so close to snapping at her and I don't know if I can hold back with the lack of sleep that I'm experiencing.
So I'm venting here. How many of you out there are ready to snap at you MIL?
She would show up to the hospital after he was born at 7pm and stick around looking at YouTube on her phone for two hours while I was crying out of frustration and exhaustion.
She insists that the baby looks like her, not me and my husband.
She thanked me for "sharing him" and reminded me that she knows how to handle a baby.
She asked that her 12 year old daughter watch my delivery because it would be good "birth control"
She insists that she is the babies favorite smell.
When someone asked who's baby he was, she out right said he was her baby. Then corrected and said her grandchild.
If my mom posts a picture of the baby on FB she tells me that she was jealous to see that I was with my mom.
She was mad at me for not going to her dinner party when I has mastitis.
She told me it was my fault that the baby was born three weeks early.
Last week she was so pushy about not seeing the baby enough that my husband asked me to come up with reasons for her to watch him.
Her behavior makes me not want to be around her. And makes me want to keep my son from her.
And I am so close to snapping at her and I don't know if I can hold back with the lack of sleep that I'm experiencing.
So I'm venting here. How many of you out there are ready to snap at you MIL?
Re: Anyone else's MIL driving them crazy?
She sounds like a peach!
Every single time I give LO a bath she comes over and adjusts the temperature of the water and gets all up in my business. Like I just want to tell her that I can take care of my own baby and just go away!
I know she just loves her grandbaby and doesn't mean to get on my nerves but I wish I could tell her to back off without causing drama. Can't wait until we can get our own place!
OP- your MIL takes the cake. Is this your first? Wait until baby starts talking, pretty sure my MIL repeated "grandma" until she was brainwashed.
It's also my favorite when she tells me something "new" my daughter learned, or things she likes. Yes I know, I spend time teaching her things - you think she miraculously picked up sign language from you in an hour?
Dear MIL will:
Get extremely jealous of my parents & make comments about how much money they make.
Whenever I walk upstairs to get a cup of coffee she will hold out her arms & insist that my daughter wants her.
Calls burps bubbles. Little thing but it drives me nuts. "Is there a bubble in there"
Says "it's grandma grandma grandma" about 400 times a day.
Will come into our room without being invited because she needs baby time.
Whenever I'm taking care of my baby & she is around, she insists that she knows better. "Tilt the bottle this way. You shouldn't wipe her that hard! Support her neck!" Like seriously lady, I know what I'm doing.
She snuck her way into the delivery room & refused to leave because she thought my DH might need her. She said I had people to support me in the room so he needed people too.
She tries to play these petty games like "well I haven't held the baby since Sunday so I need her" no. This is my baby.
Constantly calls my child "my sweet baby"
Frequently "slips" & calls herself mom.
On top of many other annoying things. Like, you crossed the line when you came into my delivery room uninvited & refused to leave after I had already told her that I was not comfortable with her being there then you want to push your luck? Please back the hell off woman.
The first week we were home, she wanted to come visit him even though she was sick!!!! She kept saying that she missed him too much to stay home. I told DH that I wouldn't let her in if she came. She has told me multiple times thst I'm lucky I had a c-section because I wouldn't be able to handle a natural birth. Never mind that I dealt with extreme pain from appendicitis for 15 hours before he was born. She has pestered me about giving LO water because he must be thirsty. Ummmm .... no. I constantly have to remind her to support his neck when she holds him. She keeps asking me to leave him overnight so she can take care of him. That won't happen for years, lady. Honestly, the list goes on and on. I'm so sick of her I want to scream!
ETA: I'm from N15, but my LO was born in October.
She blows up my phone today because I posted on Facebook that I'm glad I got those first shots out of the way and she's mad that people (his other grandma mainly) are posting pics and updates of him on there. I didn't know I had to inform her or anyone besides my husband I was taking him to the doctor for his shots. And At first I let no one post pics of him but then she was mad because she lives far away and could never see him. She even said "Facebook is all I got" so I let people post pics now she is jealous of my MIL..... well, yeah--he is going to have a great relationship with his paternal grandma. How is that a bad thing?
All this when I just sent her a great christmas gift and told her I was going to take my son with me on an airplane next month to see her - 3 hour flight with a 3 month old. This, after she backed out of coming here before Christmas after she told me she would. This isn't the first time everything seems to be all about her. I used to try to cater to her but now that I have my own child I am just tired of the drama.
My MIL is great, maybe just a little clingy when she's around my son -- almost impossible to get the boy from her but I'm lucky to have her. She's at least thoughtful with boundaries and doesn't make me feel like crap because of a Facebook post. I guess my own mom is jealous of that but I don't see why I should be told from my own mom that she is not going to be talking to me and deleting my number. It really hurts.
When I was in the hospital mine kept touching my belly for some odd reason and I was too out of it with pain meds to notice that every time she did that my baby's heart rate would decrease in the monitor. My mom noticed it and so did the nurse and mentioned it to her but did that stop her? No! Also she tried to stay in the room every time the nurse came in to check how I was progressing even after she had asked her to leave. My own mom felt like she wasn't welcome there after my FIL had stated that I didn't ask for her to go back in the room so I must not want her there at all yet my MIL is so pushy that she thinks that the whole world revolves around her, we also call her "Princess Dianne" because she always gets her way.
Now that LO is here she constantly thinks that she knows what to do and when we visit she "has to hold the baby". I'm sorry but no you don't have to he doesn't need to be held the whole time.
My husbands birthday was less than a week after I gave birth and she also wanted to make a dinner for him. I didn't want them over at our house just because I was exhausted from the events and she invited herself and my FIL over for dinner and cake. Well she barged in to the babies room as I was breastfeeding and I scrambled to cover up. I was having problems with my son at first with his latch and she just stood there waiting to watch how I was feeding him and trying to give me pointers on how to do it. I bit my tongue and didn't say anything to her and waited until she left the room. I was really frustrated at this point and when I finished feeding I went back downstairs to change my LO and because he was crying she thought it was a good idea to come over to the change table and put her hand on him to calm him down. It made him scream more and I asked her to back up twice and she still didn't move because holding a cold hand over his belly will apparently calm a baby down. WTF? I also ended up making dinner for everyone, cleaning up after dinner, and because there was something spilled in the kitchen and she was too busy holding the baby to help me clean up I ended up on my hands and knees on the floor cleaning and I happened to rip a stitch from giving birth.
I have so many other things that have pissed me off with her and my FIL, not just since the baby has come but way before, so I'm at the point now where if they show up unannounced I don't answer the door. I never go and visit them unless hubby is with me and it's always for short periods of time. I'm dreading the holidays and being over there now because I can just imagine what is going to happen!
**End rant lol**
AliveaG, kayce49, solitude1984, chein1, Y'all are some strong women. How none of you have bitchslapped your MILs I have no idea. My blood pressure seriously sky-rocketed when reading this thread. Lord have mercy. What is it about pregnancy that brings out the most insensitive, thoughtless people? I mean being excited is one thing, being intrusive and making snide, rude ass comments is something else entirely.
Also, yes. My MIL drives me up a damn wall so far for several reasons. Intrusive, pushy, snide to my mom, and ready to start drama at the drop of a hat. I feel better seeing that other people have issues with ILs being jealous of the Mom's parents. I was starting to think I was crazy.
>I could go on and on. I don't really like her for many reasons and we don't get along. (one of which was telling DH and I she was leaving our wedding reception as we were about to cut our freakin' cake, but I digress...)
She didn't come to the hospital for either of my children's births. She didn't listen to me when I told her and my BIL NOT to set up the Christmas tree after DD was born in late Nov 2011...but they did, only they literally just put it up...didn't fluff it out, or do lights anything that could have been helpful. She always wants to 'help,' but doesn't really want to. Help would be to take my 4 year old off my hands for a while and have a grandma day out. But no, she wants to help me around the house, but I really don't need it. This is round 2, I've got this now. She just doesn't get it. She also decided she wasn't coming to our house Christmas day, even though we hosted with both sides of the family for the past 4 years at our house. But then she showed up. I'm glad she did for the kids at the very least.
She's my husband's mother and my children's grandmother so I am cordial with her, but other than that, there's no relationship there nor will their be. There is way too many back-handed comments thrown my way.
Since we live with them for the time being she insists on making MY husbands lunch. Like she packs him a lunch box with little snacks like he's in the fourth grade. It's seriously so aggravating.
My MIL also drives me up tree.
She constantly complains that DH and I are trying to keep her from knowing her grand daughter (she lives in a nursing home where there are constant flu outbreaks, and other nasty illnesses on her floor)
She will try to call DH multiple times a day, every day knowing full well that he's working and cant answer.
Insinuates that DH is a bad son because we don't visit every week.
Makes snide comments about how my mom (who lives less than 5 minutes away) gets to see LO all the time.
Tells me that since I'm home all the time, I shouldn't have a problem bringing LO for a visit (our car has a gas leak, and thus reeks of gas fumes)
She messaged my mother on facebook the other day and said something along the lines that since she sees LO constantly. She shouldn't have problem with taking us to see her.
Texted DH, her one and only child, the day after Christmas saying that she had waited all day for us to stop by (we never had even spoke about that happening), finishing with "silly me. I don't know why I'd think you would. Are you in jail or something?"
When we do visit her, she'll ask how his dad (her ex-husband) is doing and will be say things with barely veiled disgust if his new wife or parents are brought up ("oh, she's from Thailand? That's so... weird..."; "Your grandparents are coming to visit? It's just because they want to sell the house.")
What gets me the most though, is that she's a manipulative meany. Every time DH sees her, she guilt trips him over things that he can't help like how he never visits her because he works all the time.
You snap if you need to snqp momma its your dhild not your mil you can onky take so much