Fwiw, I've heard (all from rabbis so maybe they're biased) that a ceremonial bris tends to actually be easier on the baby than a hospital bris. Mohels tend to be very specialized, some performing hundreds of the procedure every year so they can get it done in 30-45 seconds while they're being held by a family member to comf
I've heard this too (and that something about waiting the week to do it), but this could also be the bias I've heard from people.
Please don't mutilate your son. Let him decide if he wants to chop a piece of his body off.
Nothing like mutilating them young to show them who's boss!
Growing up, uncircumcised guys were in the minority (my community was mostly circumcised) and I remember guy friends making fun of "turtle necks" and whatnot. If I had a son who was uncircumcised and bullied so much he wanted to be cut, I'd feel so bad for him having to go through the procedure so old. Granted, we wouldn't circumcise to keep him from being bullied. It's a family tradition and something my husband feels strongly about. I'm sorry that you feel this way about the situation but it's not like female genital mutilation. If it was inhumane, it'd be near impossible to find a doctor to perform circumcision. "Mutilation" is a little strong. It's a simple, quick, and fairly painless procedure. It is rooted in both religion and tradition. Many people do not view it as mutilation. My husband is a first hand account that he is GLAD his parents had him circumcised as an infant. I honestly think getting an infants ears pierced is on par with going through circumcision. I have talked to a couple friends about their sons circumcisions and they said it was no biggie for the baby and harder for them to witness.
Thanks everyone for participating. I have no desire to sway others with this thread. Changing someone's mind or influencing a personal decision was never the objective, and I'm proud to say we steered way clear of that, grenades aside. It's more a collection of thought processes and decision making exercises parents went through for other folks to identify with; the way everyone contributed made this discussion really useful.
Here's how DH and my decision process went if people are wondering: I've nannied both circumcised and uncircumcised boys ranging from infants to teens. For me, I had a very strong opinion from my experience and research that I couldn't make that decision for someone else bc it's permanent. I felt the health benefits weren't enough to justify, when there were also health benefits to not acting and ways to mitigate the risks.
Knowing it was a big deal to me, I opened the discussion with DH as soon as we talked about children, well before we were married. DH hadn't thought much about it yet, but realized that he felt strongly that if we had a son, he should be circumcised for health reasons and due to tradition. We talked about this off and k. over a year, not really trying to make a decision, just close in on consensus. I had no desire to pressure DH into a decision he wasn't comfortable with and knew I couldn't budge on how I felt. So we waited and we discussed the pros and cons several times, mulling it over. After DH did more research (and changing locker room stats were a factor as well as the current lack of medical strong recommendation) he began to reconsider. Six months after that he was 'open' to the idea of not circumcising, but not until we found out it was a boy did he say he didn't want to circumcise. He just didn't know until he knew and it could have gone either way I think. It seemed a gut instinct. So that was our path and our decision. If we have another boy, we may change our mind based on the experience with this one.
This isn't a question with a wrong answer. My DH and I are both well educated, moderate individuals who researched. Both our ideas at the start were right. In the end it's just a personal decision like so many others that must 'feel' right to the parents at the time.
ps: juneforever! (Scratch that--June until we are big as houses then mommy board forever.) That is all.
@HBamama2B. I kind of did a uturn on it. Originally I thought.....Yeah why not. Then saw a program on a man who lost the whole penis due to a botched circumcision! I know this is an extremely rare thing to happen (and I did not based my opinion on this freak event) but for me personally I would be really unhappy if something went wrong. I think I would also struggle to watch my child go through it. I have only just started to feel more this way since I got pregnant! I think the cons just outweighed the pros for me. In England we wouldn't have to worry about bullying as another poster mentioned as it is circumcised men who are really in the minority here, so it's different.
We did not & would choose the same if we have another boy. The minimal benefits are exaggerated & do not outweigh the risks. An intact penis is just as clean & until it naturally retracts on its own is no different to take care of as a circumcised one (once healed). I will say it's a bit ridiculous to say that my husband enjoys not having a foreskin b/c he's never known a difference. If my son chooses at any point to have it done for himself I will support his choice. I will not do cosmetic surgery on my infant for him to fit into our culture in the US. Intact is becoming almost equal with circumcised. The US is also one of the few countries who do this routinely.
Something to keep in mind if you have Medicaid is that some states are no longer covering it unless medically necessary.
Re: To circumcise or not to circumcise, that is the question...
You are only the apprentice, young Jedi. There is a Dark Lord of the Sith now among us.
You go girl
Baby #2 Due 3/7/20
Growing up, uncircumcised guys were in the minority (my community was mostly circumcised) and I remember guy friends making fun of "turtle necks" and whatnot. If I had a son who was uncircumcised and bullied so much he wanted to be cut, I'd feel so bad for him having to go through the procedure so old. Granted, we wouldn't circumcise to keep him from being bullied. It's a family tradition and something my husband feels strongly about. I'm sorry that you feel this way about the situation but it's not like female genital mutilation. If it was inhumane, it'd be near impossible to find a doctor to perform circumcision. "Mutilation" is a little strong. It's a simple, quick, and fairly painless procedure. It is rooted in both religion and tradition. Many people do not view it as mutilation. My husband is a first hand account that he is GLAD his parents had him circumcised as an infant. I honestly think getting an infants ears pierced is on par with going through circumcision. I have talked to a couple friends about their sons circumcisions and they said it was no biggie for the baby and harder for them to witness.
Thanks everyone for participating. I have no desire to sway others with this thread. Changing someone's mind or influencing a personal decision was never the objective, and I'm proud to say we steered way clear of that, grenades aside. It's more a collection of thought processes and decision making exercises parents went through for other folks to identify with; the way everyone contributed made this discussion really useful.
Here's how DH and my decision process went if people are wondering: I've nannied both circumcised and uncircumcised boys ranging from infants to teens. For me, I had a very strong opinion from my experience and research that I couldn't make that decision for someone else bc it's permanent. I felt the health benefits weren't enough to justify, when there were also health benefits to not acting and ways to mitigate the risks.
Knowing it was a big deal to me, I opened the discussion with DH as soon as we talked about children, well before we were married. DH hadn't thought much about it yet, but realized that he felt strongly that if we had a son, he should be circumcised for health reasons and due to tradition. We talked about this off and k. over a year, not really trying to make a decision, just close in on consensus. I had no desire to pressure DH into a decision he wasn't comfortable with and knew I couldn't budge on how I felt. So we waited and we discussed the pros and cons several times, mulling it over. After DH did more research (and changing locker room stats were a factor as well as the current lack of medical strong recommendation) he began to reconsider. Six months after that he was 'open' to the idea of not circumcising, but not until we found out it was a boy did he say he didn't want to circumcise. He just didn't know until he knew and it could have gone either way I think. It seemed a gut instinct. So that was our path and our decision. If we have another boy, we may change our mind based on the experience with this one.
This isn't a question with a wrong answer. My DH and I are both well educated, moderate individuals who researched. Both our ideas at the start were right. In the end it's just a personal decision like so many others that must 'feel' right to the parents at the time.
ps: juneforever! (Scratch that--June until we are big as houses then mommy board forever.) That is all.
Something to keep in mind if you have Medicaid is that some states are no longer covering it unless medically necessary.