@camillaandcarson copied and pasted 50 things from so other website/blog/person. If you can't get your point across in one concise paragraph or 2, I can't take you seriously. This should be UO, but really. Did anyone read all 50??
I read it. Mind wasn't changed. I must have really been bored at work....
My post (citing @laurenmdrn16) was not phrased constructively enough for your dilemma.
To fix: As a possible middle ground between you and your husband, it seems that many of your objections (if you agree with @camillaandcarson) could be assuaged or ameliorated by changing how the circ is done.
If you ask a mohel to do the procedure, baby will get the circ your husband wants with none of the trauma and pain associated with medical circumcisions, and with much lower risk (although the risk is already infinitesimal) of complications.
So it is still a compromise, but you both concede something.
I'm dealing with something related to this topic, though not over whether to circumcise, just how to have it done. For background, MH is Jewish (though extremely reform and doesn't partake in nearly any customs other than the fact that he had a bris and a bar mitzvah). My father is Christian (non-practicing) and my mother is Jewish (non-practicing) and I'm agnostic. If we have a son (AS is next week) I would agree to having him circumcised, but I'd like it done as soon after birth and as safely/sterily as possible, ideally in the hospital before we take him home. I do not like the idea of a bris, of making a circumcision a social occasion, I find it somewhat of a barbaric custom (not trying to offend, just my humble opinion). I expressed this opinion to MH last night and he told me he feels VERY strongly about having a bris if we do have a son. It's so stressful to me that we'll be finding out the sex in less than a week and this issue is potentially hanging over our heads. I'd love to get opinions on bris vs hospital circ/possible compromises, etc.
I'm dealing with something related to this topic, though not over whether to circumcise, just how to have it done. For background, MH is Jewish (though extremely reform and doesn't partake in nearly any customs other than the fact that he had a bris and a bar mitzvah). My father is Christian (non-practicing) and my mother is Jewish (non-practicing) and I'm agnostic. If we have a son (AS is next week) I would agree to having him circumcised, but I'd like it done as soon after birth and as safely/sterily as possible, ideally in the hospital before we take him home. I do not like the idea of a bris, of making a circumcision a social occasion, I find it somewhat of a barbaric custom (not trying to offend, just my humble opinion). I expressed this opinion to MH last night and he told me he feels VERY strongly about having a bris if we do have a son. It's so stressful to me that we'll be finding out the sex in less than a week and this issue is potentially hanging over our heads. I'd love to get opinions on bris vs hospital circ/possible compromises, etc.
Hey! I've posted some of this before:)
I am Jewish, DH is Catholic. If we have a boy, he's going to be circumcised. DH wants baby boy circumcised, but thinks it's weird to have a "penis party." I want a proper bris, at home with a mohel.
Our compromise is that we will do it on the eighth day and by a mohel (per Jewish custom/law) but we'll rent out a room in/near the hospital where we can have a "party" for my Jewish relatives and our friends who want to come.
As @laurenmdrn16 has said and I've repeated, the circumcisions with the lowest complications and least discomfort for baby are the ones done by a mohel, when the parents hold the baby and keep him calm.
It is perfectly sterile and safe, and the mohel's only expertise is circumcision, so that's one reason why the outcomes are better.
But for Jewish tradition, it is important (as in mandated by God) that the circumcision be performed on the eighth day after birth, not before.
I'm dealing with something related to this topic, though not over whether to circumcise, just how to have it done. For background, MH is Jewish (though extremely reform and doesn't partake in nearly any customs other than the fact that he had a bris and a bar mitzvah). My father is Christian (non-practicing) and my mother is Jewish (non-practicing) and I'm agnostic. If we have a son (AS is next week) I would agree to having him circumcised, but I'd like it done as soon after birth and as safely/sterily as possible, ideally in the hospital before we take him home. I do not like the idea of a bris, of making a circumcision a social occasion, I find it somewhat of a barbaric custom (not trying to offend, just my humble opinion). I expressed this opinion to MH last night and he told me he feels VERY strongly about having a bris if we do have a son. It's so stressful to me that we'll be finding out the sex in less than a week and this issue is potentially hanging over our heads. I'd love to get opinions on bris vs hospital circ/possible compromises, etc.
i was raised very reform myself (we celebrated both hanukkah and Christmas every year and I've been to temple a total of 3 times in my life). I can only speak from experience that even as reform Jews, all of the men in my family had bris performed. So I'm not super surprised to hear that your husband would want that for your son. The mohels are very experienced in circumcision and, while nothing is ever 100% safe, I would personally trust a mohel as much as I would a doctor to circumcise my son.
@dshannah whoops I'm sorry for repeating topics! Thank you for the input and thanks @tripledaggerWed95976 for that insight too... To me a bris seems like a major event but if you're saying it's extremely common I'll have to start thinking of it differently
@babyfmama I didn't mean to imply you shouldn't have asked: I was just apologizing for being a broken record to anyone who's been following the multiple circumcision/interfaith relationship convos on here.
But yeah, the bris is both super major (as in important for Jews) and also something that is so common it's NBD. Every synagogue has a mohel or two (and many families have the bris in the synagogue) and they come to wherever you want the bris to be. My family does them at home. But apparently it's not super unusual to have it elsewhere, like a room in the hospital, which is what DH and I will do if it's a boy.
And we will also not invite many people (e.g. his entire Catholic family). I imagine my family will be there, and maybe some close friends who appreciate how much DH and I both care for our religions' traditions, but it will be a ritual celebration, not a "penis party," as DH has called it.
As I have witnessed/assisted during a bris, I can echo what @dshannah and others have said about the expertise and skill of a mohel. The bris I was asked to assist on was an absolutely beautiful and meaningful ceremony. The mother and child had had some complications at birth and were both still in the hospital by the 8th day (hence why I as a nursing student was involved). They were in a separate room off the special care nursery (usually reserved for breast feeding or quiet time) and only the parents and godparents were present. Some other family members were in the waiting room and we had set up a small table for food and let the family decorate. I have seen so many circumcisions and the one that the mohel performed had the best healing and least complications. And, while I didn't understand all the customs (I am Christian), it was very meaningful for the parents (I don't think it was an interfaith couple) and the guests. The family was very tactful and while the godfather made a joke or two about the infant's...ahem...member...everyone treated it like a very important and reverent celebration. I was honored to be a part of it (I was mostly assessing the infant's respiratory status and there for soothing support).
I agree with PP that you and your husband need to re-approach the conversation with support and love for each other. My DH and I disagree on circumcision- I'm against because I know one of my brothers screamed until he passed out when he got his, it seems similar to genitial mutilation to me, I think we forget it's a religious right and we're not Jewish, and I've read it can take away some sexual pleasure (which is weird to think of when they're a baby but someday they'll be adults). My husbands big issue is that he's worried he won't be able to teach a potential DS about cleaning himself and he doesn't want him to be made fun of for having a different looking penis. This time we're pretty sure it's a girl so we're in the clear (there's no point arguing of you don't know or if it's a girl) but I know that when/if we have a boy we'll be able to come together on it because we approach things with respect.
Re: SO and I can't agree on circumcision
My post (citing @laurenmdrn16) was not phrased constructively enough for your dilemma.
To fix: As a possible middle ground between you and your husband, it seems that many of your objections (if you agree with @camillaandcarson) could be assuaged or ameliorated by changing how the circ is done.
If you ask a mohel to do the procedure, baby will get the circ your husband wants with none of the trauma and pain associated with medical circumcisions, and with much lower risk (although the risk is already infinitesimal) of complications.
So it is still a compromise, but you both concede something.
I am Jewish, DH is Catholic. If we have a boy, he's going to be circumcised. DH wants baby boy circumcised, but thinks it's weird to have a "penis party." I want a proper bris, at home with a mohel.
Our compromise is that we will do it on the eighth day and by a mohel (per Jewish custom/law) but we'll rent out a room in/near the hospital where we can have a "party" for my Jewish relatives and our friends who want to come.
As @laurenmdrn16 has said and I've repeated, the circumcisions with the lowest complications and least discomfort for baby are the ones done by a mohel, when the parents hold the baby and keep him calm.
It is perfectly sterile and safe, and the mohel's only expertise is circumcision, so that's one reason why the outcomes are better.
But for Jewish tradition, it is important (as in mandated by God) that the circumcision be performed on the eighth day after birth, not before.
Edited for spelling
But yeah, the bris is both super major (as in important for Jews) and also something that is so common it's NBD. Every synagogue has a mohel or two (and many families have the bris in the synagogue) and they come to wherever you want the bris to be. My family does them at home. But apparently it's not super unusual to have it elsewhere, like a room in the hospital, which is what DH and I will do if it's a boy.
And we will also not invite many people (e.g. his entire Catholic family). I imagine my family will be there, and maybe some close friends who appreciate how much DH and I both care for our religions' traditions, but it will be a ritual celebration, not a "penis party," as DH has called it.
This time we're pretty sure it's a girl so we're in the clear (there's no point arguing of you don't know or if it's a girl) but I know that when/if we have a boy we'll be able to come together on it because we approach things with respect.