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December 2015 Moms
cdv2015
member
Stupid Stuff People Say (after baby arrives)
cdv2015
member
We have a thread like this while we are pregnant, but I am continuing to hear comments after birth that make me shake my head and bite my tongue. What are YOU hearing that makes you cringe on the inside?
Re: Stupid Stuff People Say (after baby arrives)
"You look like you've lost a pile of weight."
-HE then turns me around to look at my backside. I wrapped up that conversation in a hurry.
"You've had to have lost 50 pounds, at least."
-Nope... lost 25. The 15 from pregnancy then 10 extra.
"What have you eaten that has upset her tummy, mama?"
-my baby had spit up, and we ebf.
"I've been battling a cold."
-you've been holding my baby for 15 minutes and just now tell me this?
THIIIIS! We minimize public appearances but sometimes dad is working and mom, you know, needs food.
So freaking rude. It's not like strangers in the store are kissing her... she never left her car seat which stayed inside shopping cart. Sometimes I need to go to the store.
Mommy shaming is just as much fun as pregnancy shaming.. everyone freaking knows everything that's best for baby and I. Rant over!
Jamie
She had two children herself.
I waited until I was in the parking lot to burst out in hormonal tears.
She even had the nerve to poke my stomach and say, "Is there another one in there?" ?!
I told them that I would need lots of skin to skin contact with the baby to encourage bonding and milk supply. It is worth mentioning the MIL is the step -mom and has never given birth.
The freaked out and told me I was worrying about things before they happened. They said, "no one has trouble bonding with their baby."
The thing that made me the angriest is that my FIL called my husband to talk about it , leaving me out of a dialog I was trying to start and said, "Breast feeding comes naturally and women have been doing it for thousands of years. You don't need someone to teach you how to do it."
1) I would love to know how much personal experience HE had with breast feeding 2) He obviously has not read the baby boards or talked to many women about their experiences.
I am upset about how clueless they are; I am also mad because they are not listening to what I'm saying,and telling me I'm wrong.
Rant finished. Advice appreciated.
I have the opposite problem where MIL keeps telling me how important it is to breastfeed followed by very detailed stories about her breastfeeding my DH and how she thought it was a form of birth control but apparently wasn't. Umm I don't want to hear all that!
They sound pretty clueless.
My mil (never had kids, stepmom to my dh at age 14) keeps asking if I'm "doing the breastfeeding thing again?" Lol ummm God willing, yes! "Oh well that's too bad bc if you weren't you guys could go out on a date while we visit" (5 days pp?! No thanks). These ppl also want to know what the baby's "schedule" will be @ 5 days pp. HA HA HA!!!!
Stand your ground - let hubby be the bad guy.
Seriously, though, I'm so sorry you're dealing with that. I had parents and my MIL here, and it did make BFing more difficult once we got home bc I'd have to hole myself up when DD wanted to eat.
Make your husband stand his ground, as others have said. It sounds like you've been very nice and clear, and your in-laws are making this about them instead of what's best for your baby. Good luck!
Thanks! We have been taking shifts too. Occasionally she'll go to sleep in her bassinet in our bedroom so we both get to sleep in our bed and it's amazing when that happens!! Most nights I sleep downstairs on the couch and she sleeps/naps in the pack n play or rockaroo that way at least DH can get sleep haha. I never thought that I'd use a pacifier already, but she is a comfort sucker. I discovered that if I give her one after rocking her, she'll fall asleep.
You have to go to the pediatrian anyway where there are a bunch of sick kids anyway...might as well do all your other errands too!
@preggoandglowing I know!! I am trying not to flip out. I stopped short of sending them an informative pamphlet, but I think you're right. How do you deal with your MIL when she gives you advice?
@blended10 It sounds like you can relate! It's hard to have the inlaws understand that the baby will call the shots and do the scheduling!
@mhuber223 That does sound difficult-- you've experienced some of the exact challenges I worry about. Thank you for the reassurance
"It may be more comfortable and private if you went to the bathroom in the office."
1. So you want me to walk to a SEPARATE building to feed your child in the bathroom?
2. Just how comfortable do you think breastfeeding on a toilet is?
3. The convenient care station is a room set up for mothers of young babies. It has a rocking chair, changing table, and a TV to watch the service. All complete with a lock on the door. We are the only couple with a small baby in the church. Who has more rights to it than the mother of a newborn who needs to eat?
I wanted to throat punch him.
"So how long after delivery does it take for all of your internal organs to move back into the right place?" She then continued to tell her BIF about how she looked at a diagram of a pregnant woman's body, and "by the end of pregnancy, pretty much all your organs are
"...packed into this little triangle-shaped space."
There is a reason my husbands side of the family is all sorts of messed up.
I had gotten a new pump from insurance and the whole time while I was pregnant my mom's "I don't know why you want a new one since you won't use it". She breastfed and with me sometimes gave bottles of formula so it baffles me that she's been saying all this but whatever. We're doing what the doctor says.