June 2016 Moms

To circumcise or not to circumcise, that is the question...

2

Re: To circumcise or not to circumcise, that is the question...

  • We will be circumcising. Not for religious reasons but for personal ones. My husband is circumcised and was neither traumatized from the experience (happened right after birth) nor did he ever wish to have a foreskin. He has always been happy about the fact that he doesn't have a foreskin and wants the same for any sons we have.

    He thinks it would be awful if we didn't circumcise and later in life our son would wish he was and have to go through that procedure that would likely traumatized him more than if we hadn't. We never know what our children will grow up wanting though. I don't have an opinion either way, but my husband has a circumcised penis and he gets all the say in this decision for us.

    I'd like to add that I only slept with one person who wasn't circumcised. He had to stop mid-sex because something with his foreskin caused a lot of pain. Once he took the condom off and righted himself, we were both over it.
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  • @CourtJack - I completely respect that you agree with several points on this list; my point is that the "food for thought" you were providing tipped the tone of the discussion IMO. You may not be a grenade thrower, and I have read many of your other posts and think you are lovely, but this was a grenade based on just the few reasons I mentioned. 


  • sorarose said:
    @CourtJack - I completely respect that you agree with several points on this list; my point is that the "food for thought" you were providing tipped the tone of the discussion IMO. You may not be a grenade thrower, and I have read many of your other posts and think you are lovely, but this was a grenade based on just the few reasons I mentioned. 

    I can admit maybe I shared too quickly. However, I didn't have the intent like "hehehe lets see what happens now...!" by any means. But, by my guess, I think this sub-convo will most likely curb any escalating penis arguments. :)




  • peaceinnaturepeaceinnature member
    edited December 2015
    We did not circumcise because we don't think it's necessary. DH's family are European and it never even came up as an option, which I was totally fine with. I'm not comfortable with the idea of permanently altering my son's body because he "might" get an infection later in life or he "might" think his penis looks different from his friends'. As far as I know the procedure is becoming less common in our area so he probably won't be the only uncircumcised boy in the locker room. Speaking of which do guys actually stand around comparing their penises?

    I think in some families it's so ingrained and considered the norm they're worried their child will be traumatized by having a foreskin, which is quite frankly very silly to me. Like if suddenly everyone had always removed their right thumbnail at birth and then worried that if their son had a thumbnail it could get infected or it would look too strange or he'd forget to trim it and have to have it removed when he was older.
  • I don't have a strong opinion either way, so I deferred to DH.  He looked at me like I was crazy when I told him that it was up to him.  DH is circumcised, and didn't even realize that not being circumcised would be an option.  He wants his son (if that's what we're having) to be circumcised because he is.


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  • both of my boys are circumcised. We had a discussion about it and my husband felt so strongly about it that I let him make the decision. With both boys it only took about 10 minutes and they gave them some baby Tylenol and they were both content. We just made sure we kept it clean so that it healed correctly.
  • With my first pregnancy, I told my husband it was his choice. I have no penis so thought I couldn't really form an educated opinion. My husband is circumcised and we are not religious. He chose to circumcise. As I thought about it more, and did more research, it just didn't sit right with me. The AAPS says the benefits are not compelling enough to suggest it as routine. And it's a medical procedure that could result in death, or severe functional complications. I got scared, and when I talked it over with my husband, he said that the only reason he chose it was because he was, and he felt that choosing differently was like him saying he wishes it wasn't done to him. End result was not to circumcise, and then we ended up having a girl so it wasn't relevant anyway!
  • BoonhildeBoonhilde member
    edited December 2015
    I researched this a lot with our first son, and came to the same conclusion my husband did. We circumcised him and we'll do it again. We feel the pros outweigh the cons.
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  • We had my son done no questions asked. I have family members who have had to take their child later ( 8-9) years old to have it done secondary to infections and I couldn't imagine. I'm a nurse and have seen the procedure before. From my experience, LO struggles more with the laying on their back secured down, than the procedure it's self. My DS ate a little more and sleep longer the day of and healed like a champ. No issues for us. Good luck!
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  • Both my boys are, if this baby is a boy we will do it again. Neither of my boys cried during or after the procedure, and DS2 slept through it. They both nursed afterwards with no problems.


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  • @Sgoldberg247 I feel like what you said is what I said, just different words. Not sure how it's hugely different, just semantics. Regardless, that's what I meant. I've read their position and I assure you that I understood it. The benefits (which I understand to mean that there are some) are not so pursuasive as to outweigh the risks to such a degree that a society of doctors will recommend it as routine.
  • @Sgoldberg247 I feel like what you said is what I said, just different words. Not sure how it's hugely different, just semantics. Regardless, that's what I meant. I've read their position and I assure you that I understood it. The benefits (which I understand to mean that there are some) are not so pursuasive as to outweigh the risks to such a degree that a society of doctors will recommend it as routine.

    Routine=/= universal. They don't recommend universal circumcision, meaning they aren't recommending it as something that everyone undergoes like they do with vaccination. That doesn't mean that they think routine circumcision isn't good. It's a subtle nuance but it totally changes the tone that it indicates. At least to me, the tone of the AAP is its a good idea but if you don't want to do it, you aren't putting your son in danger. The tone that your statement read (to me, I could be wrong/just tired so my brain isn't properly reading) was that they were indicating that it wasn't recommended but you weren't putting your son in harms way by doing it. Like I said, subtle nuance but huge difference in practice.
  • I can't believe I'm a bad Christian for circumcision my son! I can't wait until the "are you going to pierce a babies ears" topic comes up. Oddly I won't do that but was slightly okay with my husbands choice to circumcise.
  • I just wanted to share a personal experience with my sons circumcision.

    We had our son circumcised by a pediatrician who used the plastibell method. My son experienced swelling after the procedure which lead to decreased circulation to his penis and a trip to the emergency room. You can imagine my fear when I opened my sons diaper to find blood and an unrecognizable penis. The ER doctor had to cut the plastibell off before the circumcision had completely healed. My son was traumatized and in severe pain. I have seen the complications that can result from circumcision and they are serious and scary. If you do choose to circumcise and the doctor wants to use the plastibell method please ask questions and make sure you are comfortable with the procedure.

    After this experience I do not want to circumcise my next son.

    I know many families have experienced uncomplicated circumcisions without any severe pain and trauma. However that was not my experience.
  • lolonvive said:
    sorarose said:
    I don't know the sex of my baby yet. However, I told my husband he could make the decision if we have a boy. I could go either way, and I don't have a penis, so I felt my husband is more equipped to make the decision. However, my husband's family is Jewish, and I said if we do do it, it will be done in a hospital by a doctor, not a rabbi. He agrees. 
    Just so you know, it doesn't have to be done by a Rabbi for it to be a ritual circumcision. I chose an OB who also does a bris to do ours.
    Echoing this, as the mohel (hebrew word for the performer of circumcision) does not have to be and often is not a rabbi. The mohel in the community I grew up in as well as the one I live in now are both physicians trained specifically in the bris and are not just random dudes with no training chopping off foreskins. 
    And even the Rabbis who do it have extensive training in it. It's not like all Rabbis do it; it's a sub-set that was specifically trained to do so and may even have more experience with it than the doctors. 


  • Wow lots of great posts today and some interesting perspectives I hadn't heard. :) Definitely the consideration of elderly care isn't one I'd discussed before. And first hand accounts (of both positive and negative experiences) really explain the rationale behind different families choices. Thanks again all for contributing and sharing reasons for your decision.
  • We did it with DS and it wasn't a big deal at all. He was gone for 10 minutes and came back and nursed and that was it. It was relatively easy to care for.

    I left the decision to my husband. It was really never a question of not doing it. I'm okay with that too...I get the pros and cons, and for our family it was the right thing to do.
  • I just had to pop in to say in so proud of this board! I love that we can be so respectful of others opinions while staying our own. Seriously you guys are awesome!
    As for circumcision I'm not 100% for either side yet. I've done some research on it but I'm waiting to really dive into it until we find out the sex but this thread has been awesome to read!
  • Personally, this is not something I've ever had a strong opinion about one way or another. My H is circumcised so I assumed that he would want his sons to be as well, but he surprised me once a while ago by sharing that he thought it was barbaric and unnecessary and he wishes he had been able to make that decision for himself instead of his parents making it when he was a newborn. I thought that was an interesting perspective and I could not disagree with him. We know we're having a boy now, and he will not be circumcised.
    Me: 40  DH: 43
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  • Since my husband cared so much that DS would be, and I was fine either way, I let him decide. DS didn't even cry during his.
    There have been some instances where I wish we hadn't. Some very minor issues have come up. But overall, we cared for it well and he is just fine.
    I decided to ask our pedi what he suggest to parents and he said "I think it's best for the son to look like his father" and I thought that was the best response anyone could have given us.

    That's what my husband said too! He is not so I won't have it done if mine is a boy. There is not a right or wrong answer, just what's right for your family :)
  • @Sgoldberg247 I feel like what you said is what I said, just different words. Not sure how it's hugely different, just semantics. Regardless, that's what I meant. I've read their position and I assure you that I understood it. The benefits (which I understand to mean that there are some) are not so pursuasive as to outweigh the risks to such a degree that a society of doctors will recommend it as routine.

    Routine=/= universal. They don't recommend universal circumcision, meaning they aren't recommending it as something that everyone undergoes like they do with vaccination. That doesn't mean that they think routine circumcision isn't good. It's a subtle nuance but it totally changes the tone that it indicates. At least to me, the tone of the AAP is its a good idea but if you don't want to do it, you aren't putting your son in danger. The tone that your statement read (to me, I could be wrong/just tired so my brain isn't properly reading) was that they were indicating that it wasn't recommended but you weren't putting your son in harms way by doing it. Like I said, subtle nuance but huge difference in practice.
    Agree with how you explained this.
  • I haven't decided yet but will look into it more if we find out it's a boy. I kind of dread it being a boy for that reason. I kind of lean toward circumcision for cleanliness reasons but feel guilty about having them cut my baby. I think it's kind of weird to choose based on wanting your son to have increased sexual pleasure later in life. Creepy. He would have nothing to compare it to anyway.

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  • sorarose said:
    lolonvive said:
    sorarose said:
    I don't know the sex of my baby yet. However, I told my husband he could make the decision if we have a boy. I could go either way, and I don't have a penis, so I felt my husband is more equipped to make the decision. However, my husband's family is Jewish, and I said if we do do it, it will be done in a hospital by a doctor, not a rabbi. He agrees. 
    Just so you know, it doesn't have to be done by a Rabbi for it to be a ritual circumcision. I chose an OB who also does a bris to do ours.
    Echoing this, as the mohel (hebrew word for the performer of circumcision) does not have to be and often is not a rabbi. The mohel in the community I grew up in as well as the one I live in now are both physicians trained specifically in the bris and are not just random dudes with no training chopping off foreskins. 
    And even the Rabbis who do it have extensive training in it. It's not like all Rabbis do it; it's a sub-set that was specifically trained to do so and may even have more experience with it than the doctors. 
    Thanks for the info ladies. I hope I didn't sound too naive. I didn't think it was any random rabbi, I assumed they would have training, but I"m an athiest and my husband is more culturally Jewish than religious. We didn't have a rabbi officiate our wedding (we had a secular wedding with some Jewish traditions) so I don't see the need to have one circumcise our baby if that's what we decide. 



  • DH have touched on the topic pre-pregnancy and we're in an awkward place right now. I would prefer that a possible DS gets one. DH does not want potential son to have one. I don't feel strongly, but I do want him to keep discussing till I understand. This thread has helped a little but I guess it's time for me to bring it up again. He's also Jewish (mostly culturally now) so I was surprised.

    I lean towards wanting a circumcision- cleaner, don't want to worry about it happening at 8-15yo, or earlier infections. It also would "match his dad" though that's not how I think about it.

    Also with the sensitivity argument, this is definitely selfish of me, and coming with limited info, but as a partner, I don't see why the penis needs any more sensitivity. I finish last 97% of the time, and this includes when my DH has spent plenty of time on me first. Why would we want guys to theoretically finish that much faster? ***take this with the humor I'm sharing it with please**late night can't-sleep musings.** Also, had a previous partner for a year in college that was unC and b/c of that he convinced me to rely on just hbc and not condoms as well for protection. I don't want my son being that dumb... Not wearing a condom b/c it's less comfortable (a pp mentioned comfort too). *my sweeping generalizations suck here, I know*.
  • Totally not attempting swaying anyone and I say this from a complete medical standpoint, I'm a nurse...

    An option to consider if the only 'con' for you and your husband is the pain aspect is the PlastiBell. It's a much more painless option for teeny tiny baby boys.

    Not all doctors will tell you about it, or use it, so I just wanted to throw it out there in case someone has never heard of it :)
  • I have not circumcised my son. I have another boy on the way and I will not circumcise him either. To me, in lack of medical necessity it is too much responsibility to bear as a parent as it is irreversible. Also my first son was in NICU the first 3 days and I don't think I could handle seeing him in more pain than he already was tied to tubes and needles. My religion demands circumcision but we are a multi faith family and I want my son to make the conscious decision to choose his own faith as an older adult.

    Knock on wood, he is 4 now and we did not have any health issues due to our decision. We do try to keep him as clean as you can a 4 year old boy, which is challenging at times.

  • lynnernon said:

    DH have touched on the topic pre-pregnancy and we're in an awkward place right now. I would prefer that a possible DS gets one. DH does not want potential son to have one. I don't feel strongly, but I do want him to keep discussing till I understand. This thread has helped a little but I guess it's time for me to bring it up again. He's also Jewish (mostly culturally now) so I was surprised.

    I lean towards wanting a circumcision- cleaner, don't want to worry about it happening at 8-15yo, or earlier infections. It also would "match his dad" though that's not how I think about it.

    Also with the sensitivity argument, this is definitely selfish of me, and coming with limited info, but as a partner, I don't see why the penis needs any more sensitivity. I finish last 97% of the time, and this includes when my DH has spent plenty of time on me first. Why would we want guys to theoretically finish that much faster? ***take this with the humor I'm sharing it with please**late night can't-sleep musings.** Also, had a previous partner for a year in college that was unC and b/c of that he convinced me to rely on just hbc and not condoms as well for protection. I don't want my son being that dumb... Not wearing a condom b/c it's less comfortable (a pp mentioned comfort too). *my sweeping generalizations suck here, I know*.

    No offence but I wouldn't base your opinion of uncircumcised men and their sexual practices from 1 boyfriend. All of my exes (with the exception of 1) have been uncircumcised and they are all different in beliefs and likes and dislikes. Your husband is circumcised but does not want son to have one.....that speaks volumes to me. As with all medical procedures there is always and element of risk such as too much skin being removed or infection which puts me off.
  • I agree. Highly controversial subject.

    It wasn't my decision. I personally wanted no part in the decision. My husband said that he was getting it done. My son was sleeping when he left the room, it took 15 minutes and he was sleeping when he came back in. I asked if he was drowsy from meds and they said it was just a local anesthetic. I could however tell when he first pottied after, he cried. But that was it.
  • Please don't mutilate your son. Let him decide if he wants to chop a piece of his body off.

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  • Please don't mutilate your son. Let him decide if he wants to chop a piece of his body off.

    Haha yep.. There's at least one in every bunch.
  • sorarose said:
    lolonvive said:
    sorarose said:
    I don't know the sex of my baby yet. However, I told my husband he could make the decision if we have a boy. I could go either way, and I don't have a penis, so I felt my husband is more equipped to make the decision. However, my husband's family is Jewish, and I said if we do do it, it will be done in a hospital by a doctor, not a rabbi. He agrees. 
    Just so you know, it doesn't have to be done by a Rabbi for it to be a ritual circumcision. I chose an OB who also does a bris to do ours.
    Echoing this, as the mohel (hebrew word for the performer of circumcision) does not have to be and often is not a rabbi. The mohel in the community I grew up in as well as the one I live in now are both physicians trained specifically in the bris and are not just random dudes with no training chopping off foreskins. 
    And even the Rabbis who do it have extensive training in it. It's not like all Rabbis do it; it's a sub-set that was specifically trained to do so and may even have more experience with it than the doctors. 
    Thanks for the info ladies. I hope I didn't sound too naive. I didn't think it was any random rabbi, I assumed they would have training, but I"m an athiest and my husband is more culturally Jewish than religious. We didn't have a rabbi officiate our wedding (we had a secular wedding with some Jewish traditions) so I don't see the need to have one circumcise our baby if that's what we decide. 
    Fwiw, I've heard (all from rabbis so maybe they're biased) that a ceremonial bris tends to actually be easier on the baby than a hospital bris. Mohels tend to be very specialized, some performing hundreds of the procedure every year so they can get it done in 30-45 seconds while they're being held by a family member to comf
    Please don't mutilate your son. Let him decide if he wants to chop a piece of his body off.
    Seriously, you take 3 pages of civilized, adult discussion and turn it into this? Come on....
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