My family knows but I am not sure when or even if we will 'announce ' on FB. I have not been open about having an IUI. But I know many people are crushed by FB announcements due to their own fertility issue.
My family knows but I am not sure when or even if we will 'announce ' on FB. I have not been open about having an IUI. But I know many people are crushed by FB announcements due to their own fertility issue.
THIS!! I am feeling the same way. Everytime I even think about doing a FB announcement I think of how painful it was everytime I seen one while we were struggling. If I announce at all on social media I will include our struggles in the announcement and that we did have fertility treatments somehow.
We have already told most of our immediate families and closest friends but we've been waiting to publicly announce it. We will be about 9.5 weeks on Christmas and really want to announce it then on Christmas day but is it too early? First appointment is tomorrow so going to decide soon I'm sure!
@KerriHassan that was my initial thought ... If it would be too early or not. Almost everyone has just said to announce whenever you're most comfortable. A lot of people I know have been announcing lately. One was 8 weeks, one was 10, and another was about 20. Everyone thinks/feels differently. I'll be 11 weeks Xmas and plan on telling parents/grandparents/aunts uncles and cousins then. I won't be able to deny drinks without them questioning haha.
Right now it is just me, DH, 1 of my sisters, my 2 best friends, and one co-worker. I have my first u/s tomorrow at 7+1 and I will be telling my entire family at Christmas will be just at 9 weeks. I am not sure about DH's family. With my loss we had a healthy u/s at 7+2 then found out at 12w the baby had quit growing at 9w with no heartbeat. I want my family to know either way and a Christmas announcement was too perfect to pass up.
We are thinking about getting an early scan at 14ish weeks to see the sex so may announce on FB then, not sure.
I'm currently 10w 4d and tomorrow I'll be sending out our announcements to family and friends. They're Christmas themed and have a fun scratch off portion on the back. Each scratch off reads a clue and the last one states "Baby R due July 2016." I figured it would be great for everyone to obtain it before Christmas, especially since our family celebrates the holidays at least a week in advance. We will be announcing on fb on Christmas Day. I'll be 12w 2 days by then.
I wasn't diagnosed with IF but knowing ladies who have (and just knowing how hard it can be to see announcements when you're trying regardless), I'm iffy on the social media announcement. I used to be all for it and now I'm somewhere in the middle. I'm also not in a rush to open the floodgates to the unsolicited advice.
We announced to our immediate family after our 6week u/s. It was earlier then we wanted but my sister was leaving for New Zealand for a month and we wanted to tell our family together. Them and our closest friends know (the people w'd want support from in case).
We'll tell people in person after 1st tri as it comes up but I think we decided we'd possibly do a social media announcement after we know the sex so it's all in one. I figure it's always kind of strange when all of a sudden a baby just appears in a picture. The baby is a reality of your family, but I REFUSE to be that person who posts the fruit size on FB weekly, bump pics constantly, etc. Just no. If my stomach is in a picture, so be it, but all the rest is unnecessary flaunting.
@ALittleCountry totally agree with you! Not only is it unnecessary flaunting, but I honestly doubt anyone else cares about the fruit size haha. I also feel it's weird to just have the baby pop up in a random picture, too. I live far away and want to let my old friends know I'm pregnant without having to send them a personal message. I also have distant family on there that would want to know. I'm young, so not many people I know are even trying for babies yet... Most are just finishing college.
Announce when you want to....be proud and excited at every stage of your pregnancy... I understand that hesitant feeling telling people because someone you know maybe struggling or had a miscarriage recently. ... but that shouldnt keep you from the excitement of your own growing family. I am proud to say I'm 9w today and we will be telling fb on Christmas and sending xmas cards out w our announcement. I wont go as far as showing my baby bumb bc im insecure but if you have one and want to flaunt it... nows your time ladies......its our time to be excited and you should not feel bad about it!
I am 9.3 weeks and I'm telling people starting today. I'm a teacher and this is my last week before break. I don't want my extended family to learn over the holiday and post things on fb and then everyone at work find out that way.
Side note... I told my first period and they said, "I knew it! Your belly has just been way too big lately!" Omg! I knew my husband and I could tell, but those nosy little freshmen! Lol!
@rlopezlavalle Hahah! Oh kids are too observant!! I'm going to have to make sure my grandmother knows not to post the news all over Facebook haha! Luckily work does already know. I'm 9.4 weeks btw
I agree that everyone should tell whenever they're comfortable. Old guidelines be damned. We all know the risks and possibilities at different times during pregnancy. We told parents, managers and best friends at BFP. Told more co-workers and gym buds as it came up. Now announcing generally around 12-13 weeks.
We just sent out our Christmas cards with cutesy, trying-way-too-hard pictures to relatives and close friends (I'll be 12 weeks Friday when they should arrive). I have one childhood family friend who was told she can't have children and she expressed to me how upset she was about it so I decided to just send her a card with a Merry Christmas note and no picture. I figure she'll find out with Facebook since we live out of state anyway and she won't know she didn't get a pic... Though I'm still not sure this was the right decision. Is it really my place to assume how she would feel or that she "can't handle" our good news? It feels like a grey area to me between sensitive and patronizing.
Also with regards to social media, I know there has been a huge push lately for women to open up about infertility and miscarriage. I agree that everyone is entitled to their story and that no one should feel the need to silence themselves or be ashamed... The issue is that doesn't that include people who had an easy time? Shouldn't both sides of the conception/ pregnancy/ baby story be told? Isn't silencing happy news or easy conception stories just another version of silencing or shaming? Like if it was an accident or easy then you didn't work for it or somehow can't appreciate it as much or don't have a right to complain or that owning your story is a brag, etc etc criticisms all around. I just don't think shaming or silencing anyone is okay. No one should have to feel lesser wether they got pregnant totally by accident while using birth control or it took years of struggle and intervention. So the question is how can I own and tell my story and avoid being silenced or feeling ashamed that it was easy, while still being sensitive to others? Still have no answers- mostly just philosophical questions and debate. Anyone else puzzling this one out? Everyone tell their story? No one tell their story? It's only okay to tell your story if you struggled? Why?
Letting the cat out of the bag next week! Been kinda telling people already, and both our immediate families (parents and siblings) already know, as well as some friends. It's just kinda perfect timing, I'm 12 weeks the week of Christmas.
As far as social media, I'm definitely sensitive to people who have or are struggling trying to conceive but at the same time I don't think that should take away anything from those who are not struggling and whose lives are about to change as they go through pregnancy and bring a new human into the world. That being said, we're not doing anything special, just posting the US pic with the caption "we've been naughty" cause it fits with the theme of the day.
@noelietrex I agree that it is a grey area when it comes to sharing, especially on social media. Personally, I think that everyone should share as much or as little as they feel comfortable with. I don't think it's fair for some people to say that you shouldn't post belly pics or talk openly about your pregnancy. Social media in general is a slippery slope, if I post a picture of my husband and I looking happy, does that make my newly single friend feel bad? I'm not saying it's exactly the same, but I did go through a loss last year and sometimes when my friends would post pregnancy or baby pictures on Facebook it made me a little bit sad or jealous, but it also made me happy for them and in no way did it make me feel that they were being insensitive or "showing off".
It is important to be sensitive to the struggles that other people have had, but at least for me, I don't think anyone should feel they have to hide. I don't know, it's a very fine line and I understand both sides. But I know for myself, I am so happy about this pregnancy (and also terrified) and I don't like having to pretend. That's been the biggest struggle of the first trimester for me is the battle between feeling like I shouldn't tell anyone until the second trimester but also wanting to do cartwheels and tell strangers on the street.
I agree @noelietrex .. I'm not at the age where many people are even married yet, so many are also not trying to get pregnant. My mom struggled for 5 years to have me. I definitely understand. My husband and I tried for months before getting pregnant. I'm excited to share my news.. I'm excited for this baby!!
We told our parents at about 7w and told 2 close friends at 9w after the first U/S. I'll be 11w around Xmas, so may tell the extended family that we meet on Xmas day and slowly start telling the rest of our large family after the second U/S during the 2nd week of Jan (if they don't already find out before that). We don't plan a big announcement on FB
I'll be 10 weeks on Christmas so we will announce to very close friends and immediate family only and save the big Facebook reveal for 13 weeks or later.
@alarriba I think that's exactly what I'm going to do. I'll be 11 weeks on Xmas and almost 13 weeks for my 2nd appointment so I'll feel more comfortable telling others after that.
After three years of infertility, I reserve my right to announce my much-wished for miracle babies on social media without feeling bad about it.
I did reach out personally about a month ago to those I knew who were struggling same as I was so I could tell them personally and they didn't have to hear it for the first time on FB. I have been fairly open about our struggles, and we are doubly blessed, so while I hope I'm not hurting anyone too badly, we're very excited and feel as though we have the right to announce it wherever and however we want.
That said, I'm still announcing on Christmas Eve, I think, just with a picture of their stockings with ours. I found little ones that say A and B at target.
I told my boss yesterday as we are restructuring, her response was "I was not expecting that, so you're 40 and pregnant". Yeah thanks. I think she was just in shock. I've known her since I was 20.
@Pankerswow! That was rude. I see you have a little one that's less than 2 years old. Seems like it shouldn't have been much of a shock to her. I hope that's not indicative of how the rest of your pregnancy will go. Yikes.
@quartz02 I didn't have my DD while I was working for her, I've only been in the job for just over a year. I think she assumed I was a career women, which in my mind I still can be, just postpone it a little. FYI she has 3 kids, but had them younger.
We will be telling families over the next week but we aren't going to do a fb announcement or anything like that. I think we've been trying for so long we like it just being ours
Re: When are you going to announce?
We announced to our immediate family after our 6week u/s. It was earlier then we wanted but my sister was leaving for New Zealand for a month and we wanted to tell our family together. Them and our closest friends know (the people w'd want support from in case).
We'll tell people in person after 1st tri as it comes up but I think we decided we'd possibly do a social media announcement after we know the sex so it's all in one. I figure it's always kind of strange when all of a sudden a baby just appears in a picture. The baby is a reality of your family, but I REFUSE to be that person who posts the fruit size on FB weekly, bump pics constantly, etc. Just no. If my stomach is in a picture, so be it, but all the rest is unnecessary flaunting.
Side note... I told my first period and they said, "I knew it! Your belly has just been way too big lately!" Omg! I knew my husband and I could tell, but those nosy little freshmen! Lol!
As far as social media, I'm definitely sensitive to people who have or are struggling trying to conceive but at the same time I don't think that should take away anything from those who are not struggling and whose lives are about to change as they go through pregnancy and bring a new human into the world.
That being said, we're not doing anything special, just posting the US pic with the caption "we've been naughty" cause it fits with the theme of the day.
It is important to be sensitive to the struggles that other people have had, but at least for me, I don't think anyone should feel they have to hide. I don't know, it's a very fine line and I understand both sides. But I know for myself, I am so happy about this pregnancy (and also terrified) and I don't like having to pretend. That's been the biggest struggle of the first trimester for me is the battle between feeling like I shouldn't tell anyone until the second trimester but also wanting to do cartwheels and tell strangers on the street.
I'm not at the age where many people are even married yet, so many are also not trying to get pregnant. My mom struggled for 5 years to have me. I definitely understand. My husband and I tried for months before getting pregnant. I'm excited to share my news.. I'm excited for this baby!!
I did reach out personally about a month ago to those I knew who were struggling same as I was so I could tell them personally and they didn't have to hear it for the first time on FB. I have been fairly open about our struggles, and we are doubly blessed, so while I hope I'm not hurting anyone too badly, we're very excited and feel as though we have the right to announce it wherever and however we want.
That said, I'm still announcing on Christmas Eve, I think, just with a picture of their stockings with ours. I found little ones that say A and B at target.