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Step son caught!

Kbchavez23Kbchavez23 member
in Blended Families
Ok I have no idea where to put this or even how I should have titled it.

I caught my 4 yr old step son, after going poop, picking his butt, wiping poop on the counter and then proceeding to eat it off of the counter. This is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen in my life. How do I even deal with this?? He said he's done it before (here and at his moms) because he likes the way it tastes
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Re: Step son caught!

  • blended10blended10 member
    That is unusual, huh? Personally I would talk to your dh & the pediatrician. Is he special needs? Let your dh sort it out with bm. Don't shame him or lecture him about it. Have dh tell him why feces don't belong on the counter & see what the pediatrician says.
    Best of luck with this!!!
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  • Kbchavez23Kbchavez23 member
    blended10 said:

    That is unusual, huh? Personally I would talk to your dh & the pediatrician. Is he special needs? Let your dh sort it out with bm. Don't shame him or lecture him about it. Have dh tell him why feces don't belong on the counter & see what the pediatrician says.
    Best of luck with this!!!

    His mom takes him to a clinic in her area. We don't have him on weekdays and she probably wouldn't let us take him if we asked. She's a bad mom. & no he's not special needs. I just don't get it. DH was very upset.

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  • EverythingsBetterOutsideEverythingsBetterOutside member
    You say he doesn't have special needs, but pica/coprophagia can be an indicator of physical or mental health problems. If he only did it once, I wouldn't be concerned, he may just be experimenting. But if he repeats it, talk to his doctor to check for physical causes. Also, if possible talk to BM, too, and see what her experiences with this behavior are: what he does, what happens before, what happens as a result, and what she thinks may be going on. Maybe you'll see a pattern: is he bored? Angry? Upset? In trouble? Wanting attention? Hungry? Overstimulated? Find out what he's seeking with this behavior and offer appropriate alternatives.
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  • Kbchavez23Kbchavez23 member
    EverythingsBetterOutside said:

    You say he doesn't have special needs, but pica/coprophagia can be an indicator of physical or mental health problems. If he only did it once, I wouldn't be concerned, he may just be experimenting. But if he repeats it, talk to his doctor to check for physical causes. Also, if possible talk to BM, too, and see what her experiences with this behavior are: what he does, what happens before, what happens as a result, and what she thinks may be going on. Maybe you'll see a pattern: is he bored? Angry? Upset? In trouble? Wanting attention? Hungry? Overstimulated? Find out what he's seeking with this behavior and offer appropriate alternatives.

    We just talked to BM and she said she knows he does this but he is 4 and its normal because he is experimenting. She said if he keeps doing it she'll seek help. But if he's already been doing it over and over shouldn't she have already seeked help?? She didn't think it was an issue. She actually told me it's none of my business, but it's not only affecting him he's spreading germs to my family as well by wiping it everywhere! I read about pica, idk he has been diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder but idk if that has anything to do with it.
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  • carrierebekah3carrierebekah3 member
    My ss is gross too. He is almost 8 and pees in random places.
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  • blended10blended10 member
    Like pp said if this is a consistent issue its most likely a medical/behavioral issue that needs to be professionally sorted out. Sorry bm is no help - it certainly IS your business!
    4 yr old is old enough to understand "poop goes in the potty" if he can't adhere to that then he can't be left alone. It's really not safe for him or you or acceptable at all.
    And I think it's worth a phone call to the pediatrician from dh. Mom may not think its a big deal but if it's a simple lack of minerals why not get it looked at? I never understand why people aren't proactive about their/children's health.
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  • izza2izza2 member
    Your husband doesn't have to "ask" to take his child to the physician.

    Have your husband call your SS's pediatrician, and make sure that they are aware of what is going on and express your concerns. They likely aren't aware it's happening if his mother is not proactive with his care and does not think it is anything to worry about. If the pediatrician hears about it from your husband, then they should bring it up at your SS's next appointment, or reach out to make an appointment/do testing in the meantime.

    Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
    PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023

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  • BigboobsmcgeeBigboobsmcgee member
    izza2 said:
    Your husband doesn't have to "ask" to take his child to the physician.

    Have your husband call your SS's pediatrician, and make sure that they are aware of what is going on and express your concerns. They likely aren't aware it's happening if his mother is not proactive with his care and does not think it is anything to worry about. If the pediatrician hears about it from your husband, then they should bring it up at your SS's next appointment, or reach out to make an appointment/do testing in the meantime.
    Depending on whether or not they have a parenting plan he might have to. Legally he might not be able to.
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  • Kbchavez23Kbchavez23 member
    Bigboobsmcgee said:


    izza2 said:

    Your husband doesn't have to "ask" to take his child to the physician.

    Have your husband call your SS's pediatrician, and make sure that they are aware of what is going on and express your concerns. They likely aren't aware it's happening if his mother is not proactive with his care and does not think it is anything to worry about. If the pediatrician hears about it from your husband, then they should bring it up at your SS's next appointment, or reach out to make an appointment/do testing in the meantime.

    Depending on whether or not they have a parenting plan he might have to. Legally he might not be able to.


    They have joint legal/physical custody. But she has him during the week so he technically does have to ask her if he can pick him up and take him. She's such a biatch though that she will say no.
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  • izza2izza2 member
    Baby'smom said:
    Take him to the ER or one of those emergency doctors on the weekend then. Get the ball rolling with their suggestions.
    This. This is what I was saying. If you're concerned about the behavior, take him to the ER or a walk-in. Even if you have shared custody, you don't have to ask the other parent to take the child to the physician. I've taken my step-son to the doctor multiple times. We have shared custody. And I'm a step-parent, so I have zero rights.
    An ER can not turn a sick person away. It's illegal.

    Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
    PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023

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