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October 2015 Moms
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Doing the deed!?!

sadia999sadia999 member
in October 2015 Moms
Hi, i gave birth at the end of october, and am getting better slowly as i had an episiotomy, i was wondering if how it would feel to get back into doing the deed, as i am scared of how its going to be i was jus wondering how your first time was after birth and how long after birth too as i have no clue. Thankyou :)
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Re: Doing the deed!?!

  • feeohhnaax7feeohhnaax7 member
    We had sex 6 weeks pp, and it hurt. It felt like I was losing my virginity again. My episiotomy site also started bleeding. This was also after I got cleared by my doctor. But everyone is different, it might not hurt for you. Just take it slow at first.
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  • shyfry21shyfry21 member
    We had sex 5 weeks PP (before I got cleared by my doc, sorry I couldn't wait!). I had a 3rd degree tear but I felt fine inside and out. But Of course it was painful at first but after a little bit, everything was going great. You just have to go slow and use a lot of lube. We tried a water based lube but that didn't help as much as we needed and then we tried oil based and that helped better for us.
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  • midge519midge519 member
    With my first I had an episiotomy and I was scared to have sex again. I waited until DS was 8 weeks. This time I practically jumped SO at 2 weeks (my delivering doctor told me paperwork would say to wait 6 weeks for technicalities but being that it was my third child and I didn't have any tearing what so ever that once I felt good enough to do it I can). We still went uber slow but there was no pain whatsoever 
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  • koriemokoriemo member
    We tried at 5 weeks, but it hurt too much. I had two 2nd degree tears, so I was afraid. I'm nervous I will start bleeding! I've been trying to stretch it out gently, but told DH we would try again at 8 weeks.
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  • amberrmariee20amberrmariee20 member
    We had sex 3 weeks 2 days PP but I had a c section. And it was amazing !
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  • lmetters88lmetters88 member
    I'm EBFing and sex was super painful due to the lack of estrogen. Can't wait to enjoy it again. I didn't tear at all and this was my first baby.
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  • Dawnmarie0310Dawnmarie0310 member
    We did the deed at 2 weeks. Easy labor. No rips or swelling. It still hurts (5 weeks PP) sometimes. But I tell him and he has no issue slowing things down.
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  • amberrmariee20amberrmariee20 member
    lmetters88 said:

    I'm EBFing and sex was super painful due to the lack of estrogen. Can't wait to enjoy it again. I didn't tear at all and this was my first baby.

    I'm EBF too and don't find sex painful at all. Orgasms are twice as quick and twice as intense as ever before !
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  • KLHauck12KLHauck12 member
    edited November 2015
    Is it more important to wait the 6 weeks or be cleared by the doctor?
    I had a c section and I was supposed to have my 6 week check up today but the weather is so bad I need to reschedule. But my husband and I were so eager for this appointment so I could get cleared. Now I don't know when I will be able to get another appointment. And I don't know if they means we need to wait until whenever they appointment is....
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  • midge519midge519 member
    KLHauck12 said:
    Is it more important to wait the 6 weeks or be cleared by the doctor? I had a c section and I was supposed to have my 6 week check up today but the weather is so bad I need to reschedule. But my husband and I were so eager for this appointment so I could get cleared. Now I don't know when I will be able to get another appointment. And I don't know if they means we need to wait until whenever they appointment is....
    I'm obviously not a doctor so take my opinion as what it is. But If i were you and I were feeling up to it I'd go for it. You waited the six weeks and your body is most likely healthy at this point.
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  • sbailey233sbailey233 member
    My husband and I tried at 6 weeks. I was very nervous about the pain. I had a second degree tear and a labia tear and it was painful for quite awhile. When I had my 6 week appointment I about came off the table when he inserted the speculum, it pinched that bad. My husband agreed to wait a day to try because I was sore but it still hurt when we finally had sex. Part of it was the fear of tearing and the other part was it actually felt like losing my virginity again. I made him turn the light off so he didn't have to see the pain on my face lol. We haven't tired since then, it's been two weeks, but I just got my first PP period so I'm in the clear for a few more day. I'm hoping next time is a lot better.
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  • sadia999sadia999 member
    Im hitting 5weeks at the end of this week and i am feeling alot better, i had an episiotomy and am scared to get back into having sex, is their any tips which might help less the pain, and also the longer i wait to have sex will it hurt less?
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  • amberrmariee20amberrmariee20 member
    KLHauck12 said:

    Is it more important to wait the 6 weeks or be cleared by the doctor?
    I had a c section and I was supposed to have my 6 week check up today but the weather is so bad I need to reschedule. But my husband and I were so eager for this appointment so I could get cleared. Now I don't know when I will be able to get another appointment. And I don't know if they means we need to wait until whenever they appointment is....

    We waited 3 weeks and 2 days, it didn't hurt at all, I also had a c section. Take things slow at first !
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  • koriemokoriemo member
    We haven't had sex yet. I got cleared at 4.5 weeks, but wasn't mentally prepared yet. DH and I tried but it just hurt too much. I have been stretching myself out, which hurts too. We're going to try again at 8 weeks
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  • LaurenBee24LaurenBee24 member
    I did it yesterday at 5 weeks 2 days after I was cleared. My exam at the doctor was painless, but the sex hurt like hell. I was not prepared for it, and honestly I'm still very sore. I did have a 2nd degree tear and do have some scar tissue where my stitches had been.
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  • brossi359brossi359 member
    edited December 2015
    We were supposed to keep it to JUST PLAYING as my 6 week follow up is Monday but it ended up with the best sex of my life. I had 7 internal stitches and am 5w5days post! it was honestly so painless and I put mind over matter even though I was terrified. Then again I am the crazy girl who went completely natural towards the end (epi wore off) and absolutely felt no pain and can't wait to have another babe (of course when my body is ready for it)

    Edited because words suck.
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  • WeddingNotes13WeddingNotes13 member
    I am terrified, but did not realize it until we attempted to get started. I have a hard time even getting and staying in the right frame of mind.
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  • sadia999sadia999 member
    We have waited 6weeks now, we tried doing the deed i just couldn't loosen up, and we stopped i couldnt go any further. Anyone got any advise and how will i know when.i am ready, as i thought i was ready now....
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  • shand0712shand0712 member
    We just tried today 7 weeks pp and it hurt as we started and couldn't go any farther I told hubby we had to stop and sane I couldn't loosen up bc I think I was to scared.
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  • kabnpaujkabnpauj member
    Oh my goodness, you ladies scare me. I had a 3rd degree tear and haven't had sex in 8 weeks. My doctor cleared me this past Wednesday but told me to take it slow. I started my period so hubby refuse until I'm completely done with my period. Now I'm going to prepare lube just in case.
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  • midge519midge519 member
    @shand0712 and @sadia999 to loosen up and relax, try a glass of wine or a beer. Plenty of foreplay to warm up helps a lot too
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  • kjacks6347kjacks6347 member
    We had sex at 10 weeks PP and it wasn't that bad. It hurt at first but once we got going it was fine. Hubby used lots of lube we took it show and TMI he stretched it out a little with his fingers before anything else went in. Also being on top really helped.
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  • sadia999sadia999 member
    @midge519 i think im in trouble i dont drink at all, and no matter how much foreplay we do when it comes to doing it my mind just changes and i switch off completely,
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  • midge519midge519 member
    @sadia999 oh no! Maybe get a date night where the baby isn't home. Like romantic dinner and a movie in just you two. It may help set the mood and knowing baby isn't there may help stay in the mood
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  • abkenyonabkenyon member
    Each person is different but I am 10 weeks post and it still feels like a giant bruise being punched repeatedly and sand paper rubbing around down below. Luckily the lights are normally off so I can fake it enough for hubs to enjoy it.
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  • mrsjustinaburrellmrsjustinaburrell member
    I didn't bleed but I also had sex 6 weeks pp and it felt like loosing my virginity again also. Lots of lube is all I can suggest and take it slow :)
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