Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
flohal
member
Re: HELP. Need sleep so bad!
There are tons of options besides CIO but for some reason parents think sleep training is some cruel and awful thing when it's not! It's temporary and in the end you will all be happier and your LO will not even know what happened. Tears are inevitable so just be prepared for that.
The most important thing when it comes to sleep training is being 100% consistent night after night, no matter what. Even if it's 3am, you have to stick to whatever plan you have chosen.
Are you nursing? What do you do when your LO wakes up crying at night? Do you go in every time?
You want to make sure she isn't sick or dealing with teething pain before you sleep train. It might help you to read a book or 2 on different methods so you have a game plan in your head before starting. For me personally, taking my kids out of their bed in the MOTN when they cried always made things worse. I'd give it like 10-15 minutes then go in the room, rub her back and then walk out again. Repeat a few times if necessary, giving a little more time before going in again.
This has worked for both of my kids and my friends kids based off my advice. It's not easy because no one wants to hear their LO cry but it pays off in the end.
We used info from precious little sleep web site among others & books.
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
You just have to suck it up and tend to your babies needs. This is all part of the mommyhood journey you signed up for when you decided to have kids.
Well this is awfully judgmental! Sure sleep patterns change but developing healthy sleep habits are just one of about a million things we can and SHOULD teach our children and that doesn't have to mean leaving them to cry for hours on end.
I do agree with not cutting out MOTN feedings. I let both of my kids wean themselves off of that when they were ready. My son was 7 months and my daughter was 9 months.
With that being said, I feel bad for people who feel like sleep training is so awful and that it will mess their kids up psychologically. That idea is such an extreme scare tactic used by attachment parenting "experts" and it's almost laughable to me. You cannot possibly do studies on this and find any correlation later in life. Maybe Jeffery Dahmer was sleep trained and that's why he turned out to be a serial killer! LOL
I truly find it hard to believe that 2-3 nights of sleep training my kids is going to mess them up emotionally the rest of their lives. See how silly that sounds?! I guess all the love and attention they get the other 12 hours of the day means absolutely nothing when it comes to healthy development.
"The psychological effects just aren't worth it"??? I keep going over this line and wondering what the hell it's supposed to mean because I have 2 healthy, loving and well adjusted children who sleep like champs so I'm a tad dumbfounded. Sleep training was such a small blip in our lives, it's done with and now we all sleep great so I'm not sure what exactly I did to my kids that was so horrible.
Do what you want but this person asked for help, not to be shamed.
OP, guilt is the great enemy of good parenting! Don't let that post plant seeds of doubt and guilt in your mind.
When it comes down to it, all babies/children have to make the same journey when it comes to sleep: they all start out waking a lot and needing help to return to sleep and they all wind up being able to put themselves back to sleep by some method or other when they periodically wake during the night. The process involves discomfort, frustration, and -- yes -- some amount of tears no matter what method you use. The only difference between CIO, Ferberizing, shuffling, no-cry sleep solutions, or co-sleep until the child is in elementary school, is how drawn out the process is. There are a ton of options in the middle between CIO and nursing your child back to sleep every 2 hours indefinitely in order to prevent the child from shedding a tear.
Your baby's needs are not the only ones who matter here. It's just like the flight attendant says: parents should attach their own oxygen masks before attending to their children. Makes sense right? You have to be able to function to care for your child. Same logic applies here. Also, your baby is not an emotionally fragile being who can be damaged easily. Babies are actually pretty resilient.
I agree with a reply far above that said you should research a few methods, pick something that you think you can stick with, then use it consistently. Know that all children will have sleep regressions. But if you have a consistent strategy that you and your child use to return to sleep, it gets easier to deal with each time.
Hang in there, Mama -- the middle of the first year is a tough time for sleep. You'll get through this!
Well said in every way. Good advice.