Sleep - what am I doing wrong?

mihaelams1 · December 2015

LO is 9 weeks today and his longest stretch of sleep is 2-2.5h

He usually sleeps two such stretches and then wakes up every 30min-1h. I feed him if it's more than 2h since his last feeding at night. He is usually in bed by 8pm, I nurse him to sleep for now and swaddle him as well. Since he was 5 days old he sleeps in the crib in his room as he hated the Pack n Play in our bedroom. He actually used to sleep 3h stretches at first, but has regressed in the past couple of weeks

Lately I've been putting him in the swing (stationary) for the second half of the night just because he can sleep a bit longer in there. For naps he either sleeps in the moving swing, in the car seat on stroller rides, or on me. If I put him in the crib he wakes up after 30 min, only movement seems to help him nap longer.

Is there anything that strikes you as wrong/odd and which can be tweaked to improve his sleep at night? He's capable of longer stretches, at 5 weeks he slept once 6h, once 5h and once 4h. I thought he's up to something, but that was it

MauKa23 · December 2015

It sounds like he's gotten pretty reliant on crutches... While you can't spoil a baby this young, they do learn patterns and gain expectations. For example, if he's used to being nursed to sleep, when he wakes in the middle of the night, he's going to expect/need to be nursed to sleep... It's what he knows!

From what I've read and in my experience, it takes three days to break a habit... Not going to lie - that first day/night can be pretty awful. But it gets better!

One thought based on what helped with our LO's and sleep issues: For overnight wakings, try having someone else soothe baby without taking them out of the crib (shhh noises, patting, and a hand on the back/chest, etc). By not picking them up, they get less woken and also, by having someone else do it, they don't smell you and are less likely to associate the need to feed.

Also, if he's a pacifier baby, try giving him the paci (don't pick him up). If you have someone else there to do it, all the better.

I'd also suggest cutting the swing... It isn't a lasting option and also isn't super safe.

Hope you find a fix -- and some sleep-- soon!

mihaelams1 · December 2015

Thank you for the advice! Unfortunately, DH doesn't wake up when LO cries and he also entertains LO for ~1h in the morning so that I can get more sleep, that's why I don't want to wake him up during the night. I'll try to soothe LO back to sleep myself and see how it goes, but I guess I still need to change his diaper since he won't settle with a full one in any case. We also never used the pacifier for sleep, but I'm open to pretty much anything at this point. I don't mind nursing him once I'm awake anyway, it's just that it's hard for me to fall back asleep after each waking.
Regarding the swing, in the second half of the night, if I put him on the back in the crib he would wake himself up by pulling his legs up because of gas & reflux, and I found that the recline of the swing helps. But I agree that it's not a good long-term solution...

ElleMF728 · December 2015

I totally disagree with PP. Its completely normal for a 9 week old to have a sleep crutch simply they are 9 weeks old. They have no concept of self soothing at this age, our jobs as parents is to do it for them and then later, when they are able, to teach them out to do it on their own. Soothing methods such as movement, nursing, bouncing, really anything are all game during the fourth trimester. My pediatrician doesn't even mention drowsy but awake until our 4 month visit. The first 3 months are all about survival, you have to do what you have to do to get a little sleep. If your little one is crying or having trouble settling in his crib it isn't because he is spoiled or has a bad habit, its because he honestly has no understanding of how to fall asleep by himself. Infants aren't born with the innate ability to know to sleep when they are tired.

Your LO waking 30 minutes after stationary naps is the result of circadian rhythm. A lot of babies wake during the transition after the end of their first sleep cycle and at the beginning of their second. This is why long naps are more easily attainable at this age with movement. That movement of the swing (or car seat etc.) is soothing LO through that transition and allowing him to slip into deeper sleep. This also isn't a bad habit, its the result of sleep maturation process that is largely developmental. As your baby's brain matures and they go through some nap consolidation this will also change.

Also baby sleep is very fluid and always changing for the first year of their lives. With regressions, growth spurts, developmental leaps, teething, sickness etc. A baby capable of sleeping 5 hours at 5 weeks might not be capable of sleeping 5 hours at 10 weeks.

My advice is to turn the swing on. Yes, it isn't ideal but it might give you at least one substantial block of sleep per night. Crutches are okay right now.

tpete12 · December 2015

My daughter did the exact same thing - she went from sleeping 3-4hrs to sleeping 45min-1hour at a time. I did notice that she slept very well on her tummy on my chest, so I flipped her to her tummy one night. SHE SLEPT 6hrs THAT NIGHT!! I know babies are supposed to sleep on their back, but my daughter has great neck control and can now roll over so I am not as concerned about SIDS

tracij12 · December 2015

Everything that @ElleMF728 said! Also agree with trying the paci if you aren't opposed. Both of my girls are comfort suckers and a paci and white noise/shushing gets them back to sleep when not hungry.

Please know you aren't doing anything wrong! Sleep is so unpredictable and you sortof just have to go with it until they are a little older.

baileesmommy · December 2015

Have you tried raising the head part of the mattress of the crib or the pack n play so he isn't laying flat? My son has acid reflux and will not sleep laying flat. The rock n okay has worked wonders for us since its at an incline. It may be that the reflux is causing the discomfort at night since you said he sleeps in other places during the day, most of which are inclined.

millereliz13 · December 2015

Do you swaddle? My little guy started sleeping longer stretches when we started a bedtime routine. We bathe him, swaddle him, feed him, and then soothe him to sleep. We also started using a humidifier in his room at night. He typically wakes up at 1 or 2 and 5. He's almost 11 weeks old. Oh we also get better results when he wears his footie pajamas. My husband put him in his onesie one time and he slept poorly.

jah64 · December 2015

We turned the temp of our little ones room up 2 degrees and started using loud white noise. She started sleeping 6 plus hours that night!

basdenjn6 · December 2015

What's going on with her feedings? Have you tried offering her an ounce more than she's currently at? I notice when my LO deviated from his typical schedule he was just hungry and capable of holding more at a feeding. They'll just snack til their content all day if you let them.

mihaelams1 · December 2015

Thank you for all the replies!
The idea with pajamas is interesting. LO has always been sleeping in an onesie, socks and the halo swaddle. I'm just afraid he'll overheat though, he's a hot baby

He used to have worse reflux before and spit up a lot, now he just swallows it back (he gets it up to the nose and then has congested breathing until he cleans it up). I suggested a wedge to DH, but he seems to oppose it.

Regarding feeding - LO empties both breasts at a feeding, I can't even pump anything out afterwards. I'm drinking Fenugreek, but didn't see any significant increase. He also never refuses the breast at night. I'll try to feed him closer to bedtime though. I was feeding him 1.5-2h before and then just giving him the last drops to put him to sleep.

This night I have rocked him to sleep and put him in the swing from the very beginning. He slept 2x3h and then 2x1h, which is much better than in the past few weeks. I guess now that he's more aware and active, the crib overwhelms him and he needs the cosy feeling of the swing. In the crib he would also turn around often, counterclockwise, like I would put him down along the long side and find him turned 90 degrees and hitting his head on the side...

tracij12 · December 2015

@mihaelams1 I would definitely recommend feeding closer to bedtime! As for moving in the crib, my little one has started doing the same in the pack and play. I've read other moms say they've put rolled up towels under the crib sheet to help them feel cozy and not move as a transition technique. I haven't done it myself or researched the safety of it but might be worth looking into in you want to get baby back in the crib.

wack0032 · December 2015

@mihaelams1 it sounds like the baby is waking because he's hungry if he's never refusing the breast at night. You likely won't be able to get a longer sleep until you can get him some more food down before sleeping. Have you tried eating oatmeal and/or drinking milkmaid tea? My LO drinks approx. 3-4 oz at 7-8pm and then 4oz at 9 pm to stock up for the big sleep and will sleep until 4 or 5 am. Sometimes DH bottle feeds pumped milk, so that's how we know how much she's getting at night.

katlynbruno · December 2015

@mihaelams1 thank you for posting this! I only read these boards once in awhile to see if there is anyone else going through something I'm going through and your story is mine to the T!! My baby is the same age and we are going through the exact same thing...from the swing naps to the short stretches of night sleep. So I just want to say you're not alone and not doing anything wrong (I constantly ask if I'm doing something wrong too..) I think all babies are different and as long as we are doing everything we can to promote good sleep then we are doing the right thing

and they'll get the hang of it when they are ready (I'm hoping..lol)

Also thank you to @ElleMF728 for your post...literally breathed a sigh of relief after reading it!

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