Home Birth

gauge1234 · December 2015

Hi Ladies!

I haven't posted much but I've been an avid reader. Thanks for all of sharing and entertainment and rants etc ❤️

I am considering home birth ... I'm not a hospital/Doctor person unless there is something really wrong with me. Basically it isn't a place I would go to feel safe and relaxed .... That being said I live in a townhouse in the middle of townhouses and I'm not quite sure if it is appropriate to give birth here. I don't know if everyone will be able to hear especially if it is 2am etc.

We don't have birthing centers where I live, but the closest hospital does have private rooms with beds, and an tub and a couch an apparently an ocean view .... Sounds like a vacation except for the hospital part!!

I've notice a few people have said they have had home births or have attempted ... Can you share advice? Pro's / cons?

I want to move and rent a house but my hub thinks that's a little crazy ... And it probably is. Oh the hormones!!

gauge1234 · December 2015

I am a FTM so this is all new!

NicknShan · December 2015

Are you seeing an OB or a midwife? They may be able to assist you. I haven't had a home birth (nor would I consider one) so I can't give you tips on the experience in general - but I would recommend you get an opinion from your OB or midwife before you make that final decision. My OB knew I would have an extremely difficult time with a vaginal delivery, and we had an emergency CS because of it. She won't even consider a VBAC for me. That being said, she could predict it ahead of time based on my pelvic structure during internal exams.

So - my only tip is to consult with an OB/midwife.

gauge1234 · December 2015

I will definitely take that into account! At this time there is no reason I can't have a home birth.

I am seeing a midwife, she said we can prepare for both and I can decide when I go into labor.

That is unless something changes.

mamabudd · December 2015

I had a home birth with my second. It was an amazing experience and I cannot imagine ever giving birth anywhere but home ever again. I can't think of anything negative about it, but my favourite part is that after everything was birthed/checked etc, I took a shower and then put my pjs on and climbed into my very own comfy bed with my family.

gauge1234 · December 2015

@mamabudd thanks for sharing!

Do you live in a detached house? I am worried about being so close to my neighbors.

mamabudd · December 2015

Actually, we live in a back split semi, so I have people right beside us *and* we rent out our basement. I was worried about it, but not enough to change my mind. I did warn them so they didn't call 911, and then just hoped for the best! I ended up giving birth at 11am so they were all at work, and I was pretty quiet anyway because of the hypnobirthing breathing I had learned. I did make a lot of noise towards the end, but by that point baby was coming and I didn't care who could hear me because OMG JUST GET THE BABY OUT.

adiaz132003 · December 2015

You could look into hypo birthing to help you out of you think your gonna be screaming. From what I have heard, moms were less likely to freak out or scream when they tried it cause it helped with the pain.

goldie987 · December 2015

I'm not going to tell you not to do a home birth, but please just read both sides of the discussion before making a decision. Many women can go on to have a successful home birth again and again, but for 5% or so, complications arise that your home simply isn't suited to handle. As much as you may say you're a 10 minute drive from the hospital, that 10 minutes is in no traffic assuming you get to the car in a timely manner and once you're there they need to do their own evaluation before they treat you. That 10 minutes can easily expand into 20-30 and if your baby is in distress or you're hemorrhaging, that's a long time. Maybe I'm just paranoid that I would be in that small percentage and would rather find a provider with similar views to mine who delivers somewhere that has access to emergency care should the need arise.

I also live in a townhouse and would be really self-conscious of my neighbors hearing all sorts of moans and groans. Where I am we also have noise restrictions at night, so the cops could easily be called if we disturbed our neighbors. Just something to look into around where you live.

I hope you find what you're looking for in your search to figure out where to give birth!

itsStackie · December 2015

I have no experience or interest in doing a home birth myself, but my SIL had a successful one for her second. And by that I mean the baby arrived safe and sound, and the midwife arrived just in time to catch the baby. So my brother did a lot to prepare and almost had to catch the baby himself. They live in a house and their toddler could hear what was going on on the other side of the house. My parents were there and took my niece to the park before the actual birth, but she was worried. (I don't know if that helps as far as noise in a residence.)

SoEnamored · December 2015

At least tour the hospital, if you haven't, to see if it makes you more comfortable. I read (and watched documentaries about) hospitals and dr's and how they pushed interventions and meds and none of it turned out be true for me. There is a whole industry based on causing fear that I think is unfounded in how many hospitals and many Drs today do their work. Honestly, every granola thing that I wanted was available to me at the hospital.

I had two unmediated hospital births that were very text book until delivery when the Drs and nurses had to act quickly. I was hemorrhaging after deliver of my first - requiring a Pitocin shot and hardcore "massage" of my uterus. The second, the baby had meconium all over him requiring some quick maneuvering be some pediatric nurses. In either case, while things turned out for the better without further, major intervention, I was grateful to be in the right place with the right professionals should immediate, further intervention be needed. It was a nice insurance policy.

danalynn86 · December 2015

Just thought it should be pointed out that any midwife worth their salt will bring medication like Pitocin with them to a home birth to use in case of emergency, like hemorrhaging after delivery. Do your research and find a skilled midwife. They don't just show up to your house with a towel and leather strap for you to bite down on while in pain. Especially if you do research to find a skilled midwife you will be in good hands so long as you have a low risk pregnancy. In the case that you aren't low risk they will refer you to an obstetrician and your midwife will likely play a doula style role during your labor/delivery.

Emztron500 · December 2015

I tried for a birth centre birth with my first and got transferred to a hospital. At either a birth centre or home birth, your midwife (or team of midwives...in Canada it must be 2 to each birth, I'm not sure about in the US) will bring a lot of equipment to take care of you and the baby, including what they would need if god forbid they had to resuscitate your child. They are medical professionals able to deal with a wide range of problems that arise in delivery, and who can see if something is going wrong quite early on. I appreciated that my midwife knew when I was starting to be in danger and got me to a hospital while it was still easy to transport me. They are also highly experienced in hospital transfers - so they won't, for instance, send you off in your husband's car to drive to the hospital if you're hemorrhaging, they will call an ambulance. Almost all hospital transfers, however, are non-emergency transfers, like mine, where the drive was uncomfortable but nobody was in danger. I would say within about 20 minutes of my midwife saying "you've gotta go", I was actively being treated in the hospital. That was with no prior preparation for hospital birth, no pre-booking in, etc.

I say go ahead and plan for that homebirth. I am planning one this time around, and I live in an apartment building. I know that a lot of midwives also even offer hotel births, so it's definitely not unheard of to give birth in non-detached residence. Several of my friends have had homebirths, a few in them in townhouses, and none had issues with the noise or anything else. I know I made noise during childbirth the first time but none of it was as loud as the noises my toddler makes in my home every day :P

mamabudd · December 2015

Sorry @Sgoldberg247, I am not the argumentative type, but you are simply just incorrect about home births. There are many studies out there that prove that they are actually safer. There is quite a bit of information that proves that hospital births are actually potentially more dangerous because interventions are more likely, and the more interventions there are, the riskier things get. Plus, any midwife attending a home birth isn't going to take any chances, they're not going to wait until mom or baby are near death before transferring to a hospital. Any small sign of a possible problem would have them transferring immediately, if they don't have what they need on them (and they do bring a LOT of medical equipment). They are only recommended if you are low risk anyway. I would never suggest someone birth at home if they're not uncomfortable with the idea, but please steer clear of spreading fear and incorrect information.

halesnwhales · December 2015

I second what @mamabudd said ^
This fear spreading is the reason that the US has the 2nd highest maternal mortality rate and one of the highest newborn mortality rates in all the developed countries. Women's bodies are meant to birth and somehow, over the last several decades, we have convinced women that they don't know how to give birth. Birth is a beautiful and natural thing and every woman has the right to birth the way she is most comfortable and safest for her.

If you want a home birth, I say go for it. In the moment, what your neighbors can hear or think most likely won't matter at all.

goldie987 · December 2015

mamabudd said:
Sorry @Sgoldberg247, I am not the argumentative type, but you are simply just incorrect about home births. There are many studies out there that prove that they are actually safer. There is quite a bit of information that proves that hospital births are actually potentially more dangerous because interventions are more likely, and the more interventions there are, the riskier things get. Plus, any midwife attending a home birth isn't going to take any chances, they're not going to wait until mom or baby are near death before transferring to a hospital. Any small sign of a possible problem would have them transferring immediately, if they don't have what they need on them (and they do bring a LOT of medical equipment). They are only recommended if you are low risk anyway. I would never suggest someone birth at home if they're not uncomfortable with the idea, but please steer clear of spreading fear and incorrect information.

I'm not turning this into a huge thing on home births. I stand by what I said and I still encourage OP to read both sides of the argument and make her own decisions about what she wants. There are options other than a standard birth with many interventions or a home birth that provide benefits of both. If you read my comment again, I did acknowledge that home births are safe in 95% of cases, but even low risk women can have unanticipated complications that only a hospital is properly equipped to handle. If me or my baby is suddenly in distress, waiting around for an ambulance to show up isn't on my list of things I want to be doing, I want to be at the hospital with the people who can fix it and get my baby out asap.

marriedtoadutchman · December 2015

First two were hospital and I had a home birth for my last and I loved it. For this one hopefully we will have another home birth. I just enjoyed how natural it felt to stay home. I was comfortable in my surrounding and so was DH. I also enjoyed showering in my own shower after the birth. But the best part was the next morning waking up with our new DS and we gave him a bath together and enjoyed a quiet breakfast together. We didn't make any calls till lunch and it was perfect.

marriedtoadutchman · December 2015

I want to add too that I had an OB for my first and a midwife for my second hospital birth. Both were very different. I had no relationship with the OB whereas with my midwives I knew them all and was encouraged to try different positions to help with the labour/pain. Even though I had a home birth with my last, I wouldn't be upset with a hospital birth for this one as I have a good and trusting relationship with my midwives.

GinnyJ2012 · December 2015

Your hospital sounds very nice. If you have a midwife could you do an intervention free birth at the hospital? I'm not a fan of home births because things can happen that require immediate medical attention. I do know a few women who have had several home births and loved them (one did with 4/6 of her kids).

Also check the laws in your state. I believe it's not allowed in some to have a home birth. Do your research and best of luck whatever you decide.

marriedtoadutchman · December 2015

mamabudd said:
Sorry @Sgoldberg247, I am not the argumentative type, but you are simply just incorrect about home births. There are many studies out there that prove that they are actually safer. There is quite a bit of information that proves that hospital births are actually potentially more dangerous because interventions are more likely, and the more interventions there are, the riskier things get. Plus, any midwife attending a home birth isn't going to take any chances, they're not going to wait until mom or baby are near death before transferring to a hospital. Any small sign of a possible problem would have them transferring immediately, if they don't have what they need on them (and they do bring a LOT of medical equipment). They are only recommended if you are low risk anyway. I would never suggest someone birth at home if they're not uncomfortable with the idea, but please steer clear of spreading fear and incorrect information.

I agree!
The midwives have to complete a home study and based on moms/baby's health they will make a decision then. They will never allow a home birth to happen if there is any doubt that serious complications will arise. And once in labour if they think something may go wrong they will call an ambulance BEFORE just to have on hand if needed.

HBamama2B · December 2015

Trust your midwives* opinion (*make sure they are certified and that all certifications are current and they are practicing in a center/hospital setting as well so they can facilitate transfer). If your midwife says you're a good candidate and the setting is good, then listen to that. If at any point they want to pull the plug and change plans, do it immediately and don't get fixated on the location of your baby's arrival.

I will say that IMO, it had to be a joint decision. I was dead set on a home birth, but DH never got on board. We compromised on a birthing center (attached to a hospital) for this first bean. Yes, I'm facing the most risk, but he and baby have a stake too and I need him as my labor partner-- so if he's not comfortable with the setting, no dice!

ashleyrobertson0113 · December 2015

My sister in law just had her little one on Sunday and did a home birth. Very very luckily she and the little man are both okay. They had a long but mostly uncomplicated birth. It was the post baby part that was scary. Her placenta did not come out on its own. They tore the umbilical cord trying to get it out. Eventually the midwife had to physically remove it (meaning stick both hands inside my sister in law and scoop it out... 1 ow! 2 ew!). My sister in law lost a lot of blood and was to the point where she was practically hemorrhaging. Like I said, she and the baby are okay. But they got very very very lucky.

Im not telling you this as some sort of horror story to scare you away from a home birth. More a tale of caution so you're aware that stuff like that can happen and being at home makes it very complicated and dangerous when it does.

gauge1234 · December 2015

Thanks for all of the support and points of view!

Where I live midwives are government regulated and home birth is allowed so I do have the choice. Which I am really happy about.

I've been focusing on learning about birth and remember that women have been doing this for thousands of years and our body knows what to do.

We can all plan as much as we would like but it happens when it happens and how it happens! Everyone's story and comfort is different.

gauge1234 · December 2015

I think I will prepare for both and I have to talk it over with DH to make sure he is confident. If he is going to be there (which we plan) I need him to be on point

mamabudd · December 2015

Whoa @ashleyrobertson0113, the exact same thing happened to me! Cord tore and the placenta wouldn't come on its own so my midwife literally shoved her hand up there to get it. Thaaaaat was...not much fun. I didn't bleed too much though and it all worked out. My midwife said she had never even heard of it happening before so I don't imagine it's a very common issue.

dennyandlee · December 2015

@mamabudd I believe this may have been caused by placenta accreta. My mom experienced this with all three of us following unmedicated deliveries and said that retrieving the placenta, in her case, was far worse than labor!

mamabudd · December 2015

@denny+lee I just did a quick google search because I had never heard of it, so admittedly I don't know too much about it...but wouldn't that have been caught in an ultrasound? I had an ultrasound at about 35 weeks to check babe's position (he had been breech for awhile), and I remember them telling me everything looked perfect and ready to go for my home birth! I'm going to ask my midwife about it next time I see her just because I'm curious (...and now slightly worried that it's going to happen again haha).

dennyandlee · December 2015

They didn't know my mom had it but I don't know how good ultrasounds were 30 years ago. With her second and third, she had local anesthetic. Sorry @mamabudd I didn't mean to scare you!

Edited to add that after a little looking, I read that it's typically not diagnosed before delivery but technically, it's possible to detect with a vaginal u/s. Very commonly accompanied by excess bleeding after removal.

Emztron500 · December 2015

When we were planning my first birth, I was pretty much 100% sure I wanted a midwife and an out-of-hospital birth, but the local birth centre and midwife practice had an information night and I took my DH to that to give him a chance to get all the info and ask any questions he had. I think that helped him to be on the same page as me. Definitely needs to be a decision you're both comfortable with.

Tawny87 · December 2015

You may want to look into how long transfer time is to your local hospital. If an emergency crops up you want to make sure you are close enough to get there in time. I'm afraid I'm not much help home birth would not be possible for me so I haven't looked into it.

LizM61409 · December 2015

gauge1234 said:
Thanks for all of the support and points of view!

Where I live midwives are government regulated and home birth is allowed so I do have the choice. Which I am really happy about.

I've been focusing on learning about birth and remember that women have been doing this for thousands of years and our body knows what to do.

We can all plan as much as we would like but it happens when it happens and how it happens! Everyone's story and comfort is different.

Women HAVE been doing this for thousands of years, and the maternal death rate for all those years was WAY higher than what it is today. Traditional doesn't always mean better

dennyandlee · December 2015

LizM61409 said:

gauge1234 said:
Thanks for all of the support and points of view!

Where I live midwives are government regulated and home birth is allowed so I do have the choice. Which I am really happy about.

I've been focusing on learning about birth and remember that women have been doing this for thousands of years and our body knows what to do.

We can all plan as much as we would like but it happens when it happens and how it happens! Everyone's story and comfort is different.
Women HAVE been doing this for thousands of years, and the maternal death rate for all those years was WAY higher than what it is today. Traditional doesn't always mean better

What is the maternal death rate for all those years?? Just for comparison...

danalynn86 · December 2015

@LizM61409 Home births of today look nothing like historical home births, they look nothing like home births from 70 years ago. It's pretty crazy to think that in thousands of years home births haven't changed at all. Comparing todays home births to those home births at any time in history isn't really a good way to determine if they're safe or not.

LizM61409 · December 2015

denny+lee said:

LizM61409 said:

gauge1234 said:
Thanks for all of the support and points of view!

Where I live midwives are government regulated and home birth is allowed so I do have the choice. Which I am really happy about.

I've been focusing on learning about birth and remember that women have been doing this for thousands of years and our body knows what to do.

We can all plan as much as we would like but it happens when it happens and how it happens! Everyone's story and comfort is different.
Women HAVE been doing this for thousands of years, and the maternal death rate for all those years was WAY higher than what it is today. Traditional doesn't always mean better
What is the maternal death rate for all those years?? Just for comparison...

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.hrsa.gov/ourstories/mchb75th/mchb75maternalmortality.pdf&ved=0ahUKEwj4i6nwntDJAhVD2SYKHfTLDfcQFggaMAA&usg=AFQjCNHK-oUf-PEbBzlrWPwAJ62-Ap4KWQ&sig2=cTNgpVPWNCKmQo50GJ4bCg

See figure 1. And that doesn't even go back 100 years.

I'm not saying home birth isn't necessarily safer now, but the logic of "that's how women have always done it" doesn't make sense to me.

dennyandlee · December 2015

Thanks, very interesting. That article also poses that recent increase in maternal mortality in the last decade may be attributed to rise in occurrence of c-sections. Crazy!

LizM61409 · December 2015

denny+lee said:
Thanks, very interesting. That article also poses that recent increase in maternal mortality in the last decade may be attributed to rise in occurrence of c-sections. Crazy!

Yup. That plus more women are obese and older when they give birth which both increase all sorts of complications

goldie987 · December 2015

denny+lee said:
Thanks, very interesting. That article also poses that recent increase in maternal mortality in the last decade may be attributed to rise in occurrence of c-sections. Crazy!

Many studies actually find that if infant mortality is broken down by socioeconomic status, the US doesn't truly have an increasing mortality rate surrounding birth in any group other than low income individuals. This has been attributed to a lack of routine prenatal care and in low income populations, not to csections or interventions during birth. I know you were only referencing maternal mortality but its still quite interesting and goes against a lot of what I've heard from the pro-home/natural birth groups about modern medicine causing an increase in infant mortality.

mamabudd · December 2015

I get really tired of being made to feel like I'm some uneducated hippie who endangers her babies for birthing at home. The OP asked for home birth experiences, not a debate on which is better. Because really, neither one is better. Do your research. Talk to your partner and care provider. Decide where your comfort levels lie. And then make a decision for yourself, without trying to make anyone else feel bad for their own choices.

mdargie · December 2015

mamabudd said:
I get really tired of being made to feel like I'm some uneducated hippie who endangers her babies for birthing at home. The OP asked for home birth experiences, not a debate on which is better. Because really, neither one is better. Do your research. Talk to your partner and care provider. Decide where your comfort levels lie. And then make a decision for yourself, without trying to make anyone else feel bad for their own choices.

She literally said "advice, pros and cons"...

I don't think anyone is trying to make anyone else feel bad, they are all sharing their opinions, which is literally what OP was asking for.

mamabudd · December 2015

mdargie said:

mamabudd said:
I get really tired of being made to feel like I'm some uneducated hippie who endangers her babies for birthing at home. The OP asked for home birth experiences, not a debate on which is better. Because really, neither one is better. Do your research. Talk to your partner and care provider. Decide where your comfort levels lie. And then make a decision for yourself, without trying to make anyone else feel bad for their own choices.
She literally said "advice, pros and cons"...
I don't think anyone is trying to make anyone else feel bad, they are all sharing their opinions, which is literally what OP was asking for.

Yes, from people who have had or considered home births. Not from people who don't have their facts straight and have just made up their mind about it already. If someone asked about hospital birth experiences and someone swooped in with how dangerous they can be, that person would be flamed. This debate will never end. If you don't feel comfortable giving birth at home, then don't. If you don't feel comfortable giving birth in a hospital, then don't. The end.

goldie987 · December 2015

mamabudd said:

mdargie said:

mamabudd said:
I get really tired of being made to feel like I'm some uneducated hippie who endangers her babies for birthing at home. The OP asked for home birth experiences, not a debate on which is better. Because really, neither one is better. Do your research. Talk to your partner and care provider. Decide where your comfort levels lie. And then make a decision for yourself, without trying to make anyone else feel bad for their own choices.
She literally said "advice, pros and cons"...
I don't think anyone is trying to make anyone else feel bad, they are all sharing their opinions, which is literally what OP was asking for.
Yes, from people who have had or considered home births. Not from people who don't have their facts straight and have just made up their mind about it already. If someone asked about hospital birth experiences and someone swooped in with how dangerous they can be, that person would be flamed. This debate will never end. If you don't feel comfortable giving birth at home, then don't. If you don't feel comfortable giving birth in a hospital, then don't. The end.

I considered home birth or a birthing center for a few weeks, looked into articles from both sides and found that I was more comfortable with the risks vs benefits of a hospital birth with a CNM/OB (my practice had both) than a CPM at a birthing center or at home. I'll say what I said before, home births are totally safe for most women who pursue them. That is undeniable. Babies are born in cars/taxis/bathroom floor because mom didn't make it to the hospital on time too. That doesn't change the fact that for a small percent of (low risk) women, problems arise that cannot be dealt with at home. If OP knows and is okay with this, then I say go for it but much of the text I read from the pro home birth crowd seemed to gloss over this and harped on the "the hospital is only a short drive away in the event of an emergency" thing. I just wanted her to make sure she is fully aware of both sides before making a decision.

Want a personalized experience?

Home Birth

Re: Home Birth

Choose Another Board

Search Boards