Intro-Child mentioned

I'm Erin and I'm now 30 years old.  DH and I have a 2 1/2 year old girl who is the light of our lives.  We've been TTC another child for 21 frustrating months now.  I have severe endo, have had 2 laps/HSGs, and have now completed 9 rounds of clomid.  Just before finding out I was pregnant with DD, we had DH's sperm tested because we had been trying for 9 months.  We found out that he has a low count and low motility.  The urologist said there was a possible variocele that could be reduced, but that he didn't recommend treatment at this time because I was already pregnant.  Fast forward to TTC for a year this time, DH went back to the urologist.  The one he'd previously seen had since retired, so he saw someone new.  This guy had him repeat the semen analysis and told him that his levels were acceptable and that he didn't recommend any further treatment.  That greatly confuses me because if he had this variocele before, obviously he still has it.  We've tried the mucinex, energy drinks, pre-seed, blah blah blah.  We've tried getting drunk and "just relaxing".  If I even mention to DH that I might be ovulating and initiate sex, he gets all nervous and has performance issues.  Overall, we're frustrated.  My OB has now told me that there's nothing else she feels comfortable doing to treat me, and that I need to see a RE.  I'm scared...about money, about failing again, about never giving my baby a sibling, about this causing issues between DH and myself.  To top it off, I'm a postpartum/nursery RN.  ALL I see are babies and more babies!!  We had our first meeting tonight with a lady about starting the process to get licensed to foster.  We are not giving up TTC our own biological child, but time is ticking by, and we have room and love to spare.  I look forward to getting to know you all and hopefully we'll go see a RE in the first part of next year.