So yesterday my H decided that he was going to change the oil and check the air filters in the cars. This took all afternoon. It always does. In fact, it took so long we didn't eat dinner together because I gave up on waiting for him to finish. Then he came in all flustered because he has SO MANY THINGS TO DO. This isn't something he does that annoys me, per se, or makes me mad. It just makes me scratch my head. Like, why would you spend all afternoon doing something that will take 20 minutes at the Jiffy Lube when you have 800 million other little things to do on your list before Monday morning? But he ALWAYS does this--he takes on these projects that are helpful (I mean, it took an item off my list, in terms of stopping to get my car maintenance done), but he spent all afternoon on it when I knew he had many other things to do (side note: We leave for vacation on Thursday).
So I was just curious...what does your S/O do that just makes no sense to you whatsoever? Not stuff that annoys you or makes you mad, but stuff that just makes you shake your head and wonder about him/her?
@vinerie I am so with you! I am constantly wondering how MH prioritizes things. He will spend forever on some random project that really isn't necessary and then freak out because there are so many things he HAS to do. It has made our weekends so ridiculous because he is constantly running around like a chicken with his head cut off. So I finally instituted a new Saturday morning tradition of making a family to-do list and ordering items by priority. I am usually super organized and good at triage so I tend to think in ordered to-do lists so it is just natural for me, but sometimes I feel bad like I am being condescending.
For example, when he calls off from work, he needs to call the schools secretary. Well, every time he needs the number, he cant find the PIECE OF PAPER he wrote it on. So after searching for it last night and finally finding it, I said "why dont you just put it in your phone".... DURRHHHHH.
DH is a procrastinator too, but he looks at it as "scheduling things right before they need to get done." A few weeks ago I unleashed the pregnancy beast when he procrastinated something that did annoy me...so now he's been making a point to do things a bit earlier and has been pointing it out to me, looking for approval too. It's kind of cute.
Also, it makes me shake my head when he doesn't eat if I don't make something for him, even if there's food in the house. He's actually a good cook too, I just don't get it.
Like @sarawifenow my husband mixes EVERYTHING on his plate to make one huge pile of slop. When we first got together it really bugged me because he'd just ruin the beautiful meal I cooked and mixed it all up! But now I'm used to it. He also insists on adding every spice known to man kind to whatever he's making. He really wants me to teach him how to cook so that he can help, which I appreciate and it's very sweet...but he added ROSEMARY AND LEMON PEPPER to my homemade marinara sauce. I'm Italian, you don't eff with my marinara sauce. I try to explain to him that certain spices go with certain types of food and depending on what spices you use in your meal, you can direct your dish such as using certain spices for an Italian meal versus a Chinese meal. He doesn't get it...but I still love him.
@ncm0328 are we married to the same man?! H does this all the time, too! I appreciate that he is helping out in the kitchen, but, no honey, I don't want to add a tablespoon of cumin to my chicken picatta!
Today it's him breathing. He's so OCD about his weekday routine before work it's driving me insane. Everyone has to stop everything they're doing and help him. He's a big boy and sometimes I want to just scream at him BUT if I help him he gets out of the house faster. Also, he's got so many tshirts and anytime we go out of town he buys more. There's no more room. I'm up to my ears in his tshirts. I've offered to make a tshirt quilt out of the ones he doesn't wear but no: "don't touch my tshirts!"
Been married since 2009. Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter) Several MCs DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)
@ncm0328 are we married to the same man?! H does this all the time, too! I appreciate that he is helping out in the kitchen, but, no honey, I don't want to add a tablespoon of cumin to my chicken picatta!
Hahahah! Oh my, sounds like it. When we first started staying over night with each other he called and asked if I'd make him a tuna sandwich for lunch as he'd be home in about 10 minutes. I asked him what he liked in his tuna and he replied "mustard, then sprinkle a little bit of everything that's in the spice cabinet" wtf? So, I did, I put a little of everything in the spice cabinet including two dashes of the hot sauce in the very back. He got home and took a bite and his face turned bright red. After he was done choking he goes "you didn't by chance add any of that hot sauce in the back did you?" I replied with "well yeah, you told me a little of everything in the spice cabinet, so since you're such a literal human being I added a little of EVERYTHING!" I read the bottle and it said "for a stock pot full of chili, add ONE DROP to add some heat". Oops, sorry husband, next time don't tell me to add everything and this should go to show you that all spices are not made for all foods. He didn't learn.
DH is horrible at prioritizing. For example... he'll have to mow the yard which obviously has to be done while the sun is out, but instead he'll do all his indoor chores and then it ends up being too dark outside by the time he's ready for the yard... Then we get a notice from the HOA that we need to cut our grass bc he does this over and over...
In general he is just bad at time. People in the family have started to lie to us about when certain events start so that we are more likely to be on time. We're pretty much late to everything and it drives me nuts bc I hate being late.
He also misplaces things all the time, which in itself is not annoying, but he refuses to look for things. Generally it takes me 2 seconds to find the things he's complaining about.
He has odd eating habits. Like eating a peanut butter sandwich. No jelly, just peanut butter. Which is fine. I prefer it that way too. But he has to have a glass of milk with it. He takes a bit of sandwich and a sip of milk before he is even done chewing. This happens with every, sing bite.
And green beans. He has to line them up like little logs before scooping them up with his fork.
And pizza. He eats two slices at a time, toppings together, and eats it kind of like a sandwich.
Married: 1/2008 ~ DD#1: 3/2012 TTC #2: Started 4/2014 BFP 7/30/15 MC 8/3/15 BFP 9/4/2015 EDD 5/16/2016
He thinks he's going to fix things he doesn't know how to do. Most recent: oxygen sensor on my car. He discovered he can't fix it himself (who's surprised?!) yesterday. Instead of bringing it in a month ago, I'll now do it on a crazy
But mainly, he just doesn't see ALL the million daily household things that need to get done & doesn't feel bad when I do them all. Being pregnant has helped in this regard but damn!
My H is incapable of putting dishes in the dishwasher. He'll walk the dishes into the kitchen after dinner but then leaves them sitting on the counter ABOVE the dishwasher. He will eventually put them away at the end of the night, but I just don't understand why he doesn't put it in right then and there. I don't say anything because he will get to it when he cleans the kitchen before bed. But it's just one of those "WTH?..."
@ncm0328@sarawifenow Ummmm, are we sister wives? My H does the same thing! He will be making something like chili and adding all the usual suspects.....chili powder, cumin, garlic powder...and then he will be like, "What if I added some fresh basil?!" And his eyes light up like he is some culinary genius who is about to win Top Chef by adding basil to chili. Of course I'm the bitch who is like, "No. Shut it down."
My DH conveniently "forgets" to tell his mother things he knows she doesn't want to hear. Example: Since we've been married, we've alternated staying at my parents' and his on Christmas Eve (both sets of parents live out of town from us and 45 min away from each other).
Well.. this year we should be staying with his parents, but, due to family events scheduling, it will be way easier/more convenient to stay with my parents. It was even DH's suggestion that we do so. I asked him a week ago to please discuss this with his mom because I knew she would be disappointed, and I wanted it to come off as his idea (which it was) and not mine.
MIL called me last night asking to confirm our plans for Christmas. She said she had asked DH several times last week what our plans were, and he said he didn't know.
UGH.
I love him; I just need to rant.
Married: May 2012 DS1: May 2016 DS2: Jan 2019 Baby #3 EDD: 6/18/24
@kbrands7 Yes! My Husband does the same thing, he would rather starve all day instead of just make his own lunch! If I do not make both of our lunches he will not eat. I would love to have my lunch made every once in awhile!
And our baby room... ugh, right now its 'his room' and I keep the door shut so I don't even have to see it. IT IS A MESS!! I'm dying to at least clean it up and get it some what ready for the baby. But he doesn't want to give up his room just yet, so he keeps telling me to wait 'the baby wont be here for another 5 months'. He has been beyond amazing to me since I've been pregnant, so I hate to yell at him... just going to keep the door shut, and try to breathe.
My SO will purposefully do stuff that he knows annoys me and will make me snap. Then he will turn around and ask me why I'm being so mean.... what do you expect to happen when you do something that you already knows annoys me? He just says I need to get better control of my emotions and learn to take a "joke".
My H mostly makes his own schedule (he is a writer who teaches twice a week) and works from home or a coffee shop close to home but anytime he actually has to be somewhere at a specific time he blocks off at least 2 hours to 'shave and shower.' If he has to be somewhere at 12 he is up my butt while I'm getting ready for work trying to get his turn in the bathroom, mind you I'm always out the door before 8:30 and it takes him less than an hour every time so he's all primped and ready to go with hours to spare before he has to leave the house.
Also, he has never done a single load of laundry since I've known him. I'm very particular about my laundry and don't like to send it out or have anyone else do it so I do both of ours but if I'm behind on it he will just buy new socks and underwear rather than do a quick load. As a result, he has more socks and underwear than anyone I've ever met yet still finds himself without any that he can wear, it is baffling to me. I swear he must change boxers several times a day.
Lastly, he will always use the green or blue toothbrush no matter who's it is. If I get a blue or green toothbrush for myself too he'll get confused and end up using it so mine always has to be a 'girly' color. He has some kind of memory lapse in this one area and I will never understand it.
DH NEVVVVVER looks around for things. He will look for something half ass and then tell me he can't find it. Sometimes he will even go buy another, and it was there all along. ALL he had to do was move things around a little bit, but NOPE. If he can't see it from his view its not there. It drives me insane, because he does it with everything in our home. ARGH!
DH NEVVVVVER looks around for things. He will look for something half ass and then tell me he can't find it. Sometimes he will even go buy another, and it was there all along. ALL he had to do was move things around a little bit, but NOPE. If he can't see it from his view its not there. It drives me insane, because he does it with everything in our home. ARGH!
Yep. I call them man eyes. H will say he can't find something, I'll tell him exactly where it is. Still can't find it. Cue me yelling, "Look! Look with your man eyes!"
My H mostly makes his own schedule (he is a writer who teaches twice a week) and works from home or a coffee shop close to home but anytime he actually has to be somewhere at a specific time he blocks off at least 2 hours to 'shave and shower.' If he has to be somewhere at 12 he is up my butt while I'm getting ready for work trying to get his turn in the bathroom, mind you I'm always out the door before 8:30 and it takes him less than an hour every time so he's all primped and ready to go with hours to spare before he has to leave the house.
Also, he has never done a single load of laundry since I've known him. I'm very particular about my laundry and don't like to send it out or have anyone else do it so I do both of ours but if I'm behind on it he will just buy new socks and underwear rather than do a quick load. As a result, he has more socks and underwear than anyone I've ever met yet still finds himself without any that he can wear, it is baffling to me. I swear he must change boxers several times a day.
Lastly, he will always use the green or blue toothbrush no matter who's it is. If I get a blue or green toothbrush for myself too he'll get confused and end up using it so mine always has to be a 'girly' color. He has some kind of memory lapse in this one area and I will never understand it.
Such a lovable weirdo, glad he's mine!
-- the toothbrush thing!! Lol! Same here. And I try and a get girly color for me and a different one for him. But there really is no point he always seems to forget which one is his.
@Bluejay3030 and @sosweet487 - I thought MH was the only crazy person who insisted on backing into every parking space! He says it's "easier" (?!?!?). He's such a weirdo!
@LadySamLady - MH is the same way about the laundry. When we first moved in together, we tried to have one dirty clothes basket that we both washed, but I always ended up doing it all, and he shrunk my favorite sweater. Now, he is banned from touching my laundry, and we each have our own baskets and each do our own laundry. He keeps his basket in his closet and I keep my basket in my closet. His is always overflowing to the point you can barely open his closet! From time to time, I will even catch him buying new underwear or undershirts (when he doesn't really need them) just to get out of washing his clothes! I will never understand it! I just keeping telling myself, "It's not my problem. It's not my problem..."
This thread is making me Lolz. Especially the eating habits. My H eats cookies like chips. If I buy cookies, he can literally eat a whole sleeve of cookies in five minutes. And he can do this b.c. he doesn't nibble on the cookie, he just pops the whole thing in his mouth, gives it about two bites, and then swallows. He has told me he has no self control, and so because of this I rarely buy cookies!
Another head scratcher: My H wears two types of shoes: Birkenstocks and those five-finger/toe shoes. He literally wears nothing else. The day he found lace-up Birks was a day of triumph for him. (And they are AWFUL...they look like clown shoes!!)
Another head scratcher: My H wears two types of shoes: Birkenstocks and those five-finger/toe shoes. He literally wears nothing else. The day he found lace-up Birks was a day of triumph for him. (And they are AWFUL...they look like clown shoes!!)
This one is easy and I'm sure others can relate... 20+ minutes in the bathroom. Just go and get out. I will never understand.
The best I can figure is that women go to the bathroom when they need to go, and men go when they feel like relaxing on the toilet for 20 minutes. If I'm wrong, then I have no idea what's up with this situation.
Another head scratcher: My H wears two types of shoes: Birkenstocks and those five-finger/toe shoes. He literally wears nothing else. The day he found lace-up Birks was a day of triumph for him. (And they are AWFUL...they look like clown shoes!!)
Mine only wears Chuck Taylors (converse) or New Balance 574s. When he has to wear nice shoes he gets all insecure says "I look insane!"
My husband leaves his clothes from the current next to his side of the bed. I rarely look over there so it doesn't bother me, but he literally passes the hamper on his way to the shower, so I'm always confused why his strategy seems easier.
@ladysamlady@vinerie don't know which is worse only having two pairs of shoes, or my husband who needs a new pair of shoes to match every outfit! His shoes are the one thing he is very girly about.
This thread is making me Lolz. Especially the eating habits. My H eats cookies like chips. If I buy cookies, he can literally eat a whole sleeve of cookies in five minutes. And he can do this b.c. he doesn't nibble on the cookie, he just pops the whole thing in his mouth, gives it about two bites, and then swallows. He has told me he has no self control, and so because of this I rarely buy cookies!
Mine does the same! I also never buy cookies.
Married: May 2012 DS1: May 2016 DS2: Jan 2019 Baby #3 EDD: 6/18/24
My H mostly makes his own schedule (he is a writer who teaches twice a week) and works from home or a coffee shop close to home but anytime he actually has to be somewhere at a specific time he blocks off at least 2 hours to 'shave and shower.' If he has to be somewhere at 12 he is up my butt while I'm getting ready for work trying to get his turn in the bathroom, mind you I'm always out the door before 8:30 and it takes him less than an hour every time so he's all primped and ready to go with hours to spare before he has to leave the house.
Also, he has never done a single load of laundry since I've known him. I'm very particular about my laundry and don't like to send it out or have anyone else do it so I do both of ours but if I'm behind on it he will just buy new socks and underwear rather than do a quick load. As a result, he has more socks and underwear than anyone I've ever met yet still finds himself without any that he can wear, it is baffling to me. I swear he must change boxers several times a day.
Lastly, he will always use the green or blue toothbrush no matter who's it is. If I get a blue or green toothbrush for myself too he'll get confused and end up using it so mine always has to be a 'girly' color. He has some kind of memory lapse in this one area and I will never understand it.
Such a lovable weirdo, glad he's mine!
-- the toothbrush thing!! Lol! Same here. And I try and a get girly color for me and a different one for him. But there really is no point he always seems to forget which one is his.
Yep. I once bought a blue and green toothbrush set for us to each have one. Even though I told him his was green, he was so confused and kept alternating between them until I finally just got a pink one.
This thread is making me Lolz. Especially the eating habits. My H eats cookies like chips. If I buy cookies, he can literally eat a whole sleeve of cookies in five minutes. And he can do this b.c. he doesn't nibble on the cookie, he just pops the whole thing in his mouth, gives it about two bites, and then swallows. He has told me he has no self control, and so because of this I rarely buy cookies!
Mine does the same! I also never buy cookies.
Mine does this too...with cookies, and pie, and everything else that is sweet. I remember the first thanksgiving we spent with my family, I always make the homemade pies and I made four different types that year. My husband grabbed 4 plates, served himself 1/4 of each pie, put whipped cream on top of all four, and grabbed and ate them like a piece of pizza. My brother turns to me and goes "does he have an eating disorder? Like binge eating disorder? He eats A LOT." Nope, he sure doesnt. And here I am, can't even have a bite of pie cause ill gain 5 lbs while my husband eats a whole pie between all four of his slices.
Re: OT: Why in the world does my S/O ___________
My H does stuff like that, too! He has this weird need to "do it himself" even if he has a list of other things to do, too!
For me it is how H eats. He literally mixes things together like a 2 year old. It is actually kind of cute now, but at first I was like
@ncm0328 are we married to the same man?! H does this all the time, too! I appreciate that he is helping out in the kitchen, but, no honey, I don't want to add a tablespoon of cumin to my chicken picatta!
Been married since 2009.
Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter)
Several MCs
DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)
DH is horrible at prioritizing. For example... he'll have to mow the yard which obviously has to be done while the sun is out, but instead he'll do all his indoor chores and then it ends up being too dark outside by the time he's ready for the yard... Then we get a notice from the HOA that we need to cut our grass bc he does this over and over...
In general he is just bad at time. People in the family have started to lie to us about when certain events start so that we are more likely to be on time. We're pretty much late to everything and it drives me nuts bc I hate being late.
He also misplaces things all the time, which in itself is not annoying, but he refuses to look for things. Generally it takes me 2 seconds to find the things he's complaining about.
And green beans. He has to line them up like little logs before scooping them up with his fork.
And pizza. He eats two slices at a time, toppings together, and eats it kind of like a sandwich.
Married: 1/2008 ~ DD#1: 3/2012
TTC #2: Started 4/2014 BFP 7/30/15 MC 8/3/15 BFP 9/4/2015 EDD 5/16/2016
But mainly, he just doesn't see ALL the million daily household things that need to get done & doesn't feel bad when I do them all. Being pregnant has helped in this regard but damn!
DS1: May 2016
DS2: Jan 2019
Baby #3 EDD: 6/18/24
@kbrands7 Yes! My Husband does the same thing, he would rather starve all day instead of just make his own lunch! If I do not make both of our lunches he will not eat. I would love to have my lunch made every once in awhile!
And our baby room... ugh, right now its 'his room' and I keep the door shut so I don't even have to see it. IT IS A MESS!! I'm dying to at least clean it up and get it some what ready for the baby. But he doesn't want to give up his room just yet, so he keeps telling me to wait 'the baby wont be here for another 5 months'. He has been beyond amazing to me since I've been pregnant, so I hate to yell at him... just going to keep the door shut, and try to breathe.
My H mostly makes his own schedule (he is a writer who teaches twice a week) and works from home or a coffee shop close to home but anytime he actually has to be somewhere at a specific time he blocks off at least 2 hours to 'shave and shower.' If he has to be somewhere at 12 he is up my butt while I'm getting ready for work trying to get his turn in the bathroom, mind you I'm always out the door before 8:30 and it takes him less than an hour every time so he's all primped and ready to go with hours to spare before he has to leave the house.
Also, he has never done a single load of laundry since I've known him. I'm very particular about my laundry and don't like to send it out or have anyone else do it so I do both of ours but if I'm behind on it he will just buy new socks and underwear rather than do a quick load. As a result, he has more socks and underwear than anyone I've ever met yet still finds himself without any that he can wear, it is baffling to me. I swear he must change boxers several times a day.
Lastly, he will always use the green or blue toothbrush no matter who's it is. If I get a blue or green toothbrush for myself too he'll get confused and end up using it so mine always has to be a 'girly' color. He has some kind of memory lapse in this one area and I will never understand it.
Such a lovable weirdo, glad he's mine!
DS: Born 5-17-16
DS: Born 5-17-16
DS: Born 5-17-16
DS1: May 2016
DS2: Jan 2019
Baby #3 EDD: 6/18/24
Mine does this too...with cookies, and pie, and everything else that is sweet. I remember the first thanksgiving we spent with my family, I always make the homemade pies and I made four different types that year. My husband grabbed 4 plates, served himself 1/4 of each pie, put whipped cream on top of all four, and grabbed and ate them like a piece of pizza. My brother turns to me and goes "does he have an eating disorder? Like binge eating disorder? He eats A LOT." Nope, he sure doesnt. And here I am, can't even have a bite of pie cause ill gain 5 lbs while my husband eats a whole pie between all four of his slices.
Been married since 2009.
Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter)
Several MCs
DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)