Well... Looks like I might be out too. Had some light (but bright red) spotting last night. Went to ER and they said the ultrasound didn't show anything and my hormone levels are too low to be 5 wks. She said I'm likely having a chemical pregnancy, or there is about a 20% chance that I may just be super duper early and got pg later in my cycle than normal ppl. I think I've come to peace with it either way, just ready to know one way or the other. Best wishes to you all!
I think a lot of women go thru that. It's just so scary. I've had two so obviously I'm just assuming. I also check all the time to see if there is blood.
I think the best thing to do is just try to think positive... and I know that's hard, I have major worry problems. But I love that chart up on top. Really nice to see such good numbers as you make it day by day.
Good luck. You're not alone!
1st Misc 11w2d 2nd Misc 6w2d 3rd Preg, Second Month on Clomed Baby Boy Born June 2013! 4th Preg, Fifth Month on Clomed Due 8/3/16
Lilypadjump - several people besides DutchLucyLu said your comments weren't helpful and yet you continue to post the same crap. As women come on here and post in the midst of the their miscarriages, they LAST thing they want to see if someone saying it's "their fault" because they stressed to much. And secondly no one "attacked you". Your advice is not helpful or comforting.
@lilypadjump I cant even get through your half assed science dribble.... I particularly enjoy how you like to throw in some lingo to make it sound smarter though... despite most of it being completely unfounded
Stress does not cause miscarriages.... (unlike an actual fact that 75% are caused due to abnormal fetal genetics... and we perceive more miscarriages now due to the sensitivity of testing and women finding out they are pregnant sooner)
Anxiety is a real thing and sucks.... what you said tells all of us who get to shoulder that lovely burden that we are all just stupid fruitcakes who should put on a happy face and get on with it
Recognising, admitting and talking about your anxiety no matter how rational or irrational it is has been a proven therapy (which is what OP was doing)....
Just because you have made me particularly cranky after a long day of lectures and programming....
one of your "sources" has no actual scientific literature.. and the ONLY paper linking specific cortisol to spontaneous abortion is 9 years old... lowly referenced and looked at a remote tribe in South America... surely there are many more factors more likely to have an impact for a woman living in the US
LFAF- Best Olympic Moments... Jackie Joyner-Kersee
@lilypadjump No one is telling people to stress and worry, but to imply that someone who had a miscarriage caused it themselves is very insensitive. Sure, some amount of anxiety and management of stress is good for overall health, but many outside causes of stress and anxiety are out of people's control.
Your apology doesn't mean much if you still feel the need to explain yourself. You aren't properly apologizing for your insensitivity by continuing it.
Lilypadjump - several people besides DutchLucyLu said your comments weren't helpful and yet you continue to post the same crap. As women come on here and post in the midst of the their miscarriages, they LAST thing they want to see if someone saying it's "their fault" because they stressed to much. And secondly no one "attacked you". Your advice is not helpful or comforting.
^this. Aside from the fact that most miscarriages are due to chromosomal abnormalities, your fear-mongering post in the middle of people's miscarriages is in awful taste. A normal amount of stress is natural. I'm sure most women have fears in first trimester especially, myself included and go on to have perfectly healthy babies. All the (current) literature I read never mentioned mc's being due to stress. Many miscarriages are CPs picked up by early detection or written of as periods. Offering coping techniques is helpful, what you posted was not. If you're all about science, I don't know why you didn't address all the science.
To the ladies in this thread that did suffer mc's, I'm so very sorry for your loss.
@strickland8052 I'm so sorry to hear your news. What did they say your numbers were at? Odd they agreed to a 5 week ultrasound? I was under the impression that nothing would show until 6 weeks in most pregnancies, and even then some don't see a sac yet. Do they plan to keep checking your levels and repeating an ultrasound at 6 weeks?
I know people who have bled all throughout their first trimester. Keep you in my thoughts. I truly hope it's a positive outcome.
Me:23 DH:32 Married 5/14/13 TTC #1 since 5/14 TTC #1 w/ treatments since 5/15 BFN 7/15 BFP 8/15-MMC 9/15 BFP 10/15- Diagnosed BO 12/15 BFP 2/16-EDD 11/18/2016
Lilypadjump it's a bit tone deaf to carry on about this nonsense when there are also women updating the group about their impending or confirmed losses in the same thread.
LFAF Awards
me: 27 | husband: 35 IR PCOS dx Sept. 2014
married May 2015 --> started NTNP BFP 6.28.15 - EDD 3.6.16 baby #1born 2.19.16
Yeah I'm gonna throw out a big fat NOPE. I have now had 3 miscarriages none of which were related to stress. They were all in fact caused by chromosomal abnormalities. Thanks for telling me I caused them though, that was really helpful as I bleed from my vagina.
andplusalso, I didn't read your "sources" but @Mrsleanmeanclean said they were based on someplace in Africa, that's a whole lot more extreme stress than what I face at work every day.
Yes, it's clear that I'm the one who's insensitive and needs to think before posting. I can't even with that reasoning but I'm not going to continue arguing right now, because this isn't the time or place for that.
@Lilypadjump you come back to a thread where people are reporting losses to give a non-apology and continue to defend yourself while completely ignoring the posts about losses?
As someone who is experiencing a loss right fucking now, fuck right on out of here. That's about as scientific as the drivel that Jenny McCarthy pushes. There's a lot more I'd like to say but you aren't worth the warning. I sincerely hope none of your loved ones makes the unfortunate mistake of coming to you for support after a loss because it sounds like you'd be one of the dumbasses to say stupid things like stress causes miscarriages and you can always try again and all that crap.
I am very sorry to those here that are experiencing losses.
First and foremost, I am incredibly sorry to those that are experiencing a loss.
@Lilypadjump The lack of sensitivity and sympathy displayed here is frankly astonishing. Your knowledge on this topic which you purport to have empirical evidence on is even more egregious. I have a lot more to say on the issue but it's simply not worth a warning.
*ETA- there is a time and place for this back-and-forth. This is not the place for it IMHO.
Sending thoughts of comfort to you ladies @KDHB13@meg32il and @strickland8052. I know the struggle is tough and there aren't really words to make it feel better. I do know that you ladies are mothers, and know a mothers love.
@Lilypadjump have you ever suffered a mc or two or three? Many of us have. You don't get to tell people with traumatic histories to stop worrying. When I am upset or amped or angry and my husband tells me to calm down, guess what happens? I get even more upset, and calming down at that moment isn't an option. The proper way to communicate with people under stress is to acknowledge it, talk about, help them take their minds off it. You have done nothing but exacerbate the stress.
@strickland8052 I'm so sorry. Sorry I asked a million questions too, but I was trying to be hopeful for you. My numbers were even lower than yours for my beta, so I still try to encourage women to not fully give up hope until AF comes, b/c I was told I'll have a CP. I'm still not in the clear, either), and it crushed me. I'll keep you in my prayers.
Me:23 DH:32 Married 5/14/13 TTC #1 since 5/14 TTC #1 w/ treatments since 5/15 BFN 7/15 BFP 8/15-MMC 9/15 BFP 10/15- Diagnosed BO 12/15 BFP 2/16-EDD 11/18/2016
I had a miscarriage less than a month ago. I'm so blessed to be pregnant again, but am so completely terrified.
Every time I go to the bathroom I expect to be bleeding.
My friend suggested that I read positive pregnancy affirmations. And they help me. It's a waiting game. And it's a sucky waiting game. But in the end it's worth it. (I have a 13 month old)
I have not suffered a loss, but this pregnancy I am very afraid of the possibility. I look at that chart that was posted here every day to remind myself chances are good that there will be a baby. But i still can't help but worry. I have an u/s at 7w 5d, and if everything looks good, I'm hoping I can stress less. But of course being pregnant the worry never goes completely away. I try to keep my faith at the front of my mind, and when I'm able to do that, I feel better. Hopefully the next 2 months go fast and we don't lose anymore august babies... so sorry to those of you suffering now. My heart is with you.
My thoughts are with anyone going through a loss. Unfortunately, I have been there.
Sorry for the novel that follows.
This is my fourth pregnancy. I was constantly worried during my first pregnancy. I experienced spotting at least four times and my blood pressure was high for most of my third trimester. I consumed moderate amounts of caffeine and lunchmeat until my BP spiked, and deliver a healthy full term baby who turns 2 this week.
I had a BFP again this April (2 days short of 2 years after my BFP for my son...we apparently have a get lucky week). I decided to be cool and calm since it was my second rodeo. I cut caffeine, pledged to avoid lunchmeat and eat healthier. When I started spotting at 9 weeks, I thought nothing of it but called my OB. I was devastated when I realized that the ultrasound tech couldn't find a heartbeat. I treasured the last few days of that pregnancy because it was all the time I had with my baby.
Last month I had a chemical pregnancy. I told my husband I wasn't sure if I wanted to try again afterwards, and I gave up charting partway through my cycle. When AF didn't show up by CD30, I returned to my POAS addict ways. I still haven't said the words "I'm pregnant" out loud. I showed the HPT to my husband so he could verify it was a darker line than last month, which really required squinting to see. I told him today I need a fancy toilet with a bidet because I can't stop checking TP for blood.
Parent of
Baby Boy M, born December 2013
Angels: Miscarriage @ 9 weeks, May 2015, Chemical Pregnancy November 2015
My heart goes out to the moms experiencing loss right now and the others battling anxiety. I'm trying to channel my anxious energy into something positive. Everytime I start worrying about this pregnancy, I try to shift my focus to sending love and light to my little one. Whether they are with you for a moment or a lifetime, they are yours and they are loved.
I spent my entire (brief) last pregnancy focusing on negativity, and never was able to be excited or cherish his/her life. Everyone around me is scared to be excited about this pregnancy, but I know now that I'll never regret loving the heck out of this person, whereas I do regret not being positive enough for our lost baby.
This is my first pregnancy and i never knew until recently reading about it here on one of the boards that it is possible for heartbeat to have stopped days or weeks before you have any idea!!??? Ever since then I've been really nervous. We had decided not pass up the opportunity share our news with family at Christmas even though I'll only be 8w4d. But now as gets closer I can't stand the idea of announcing it to everyone when there's a chance i might not evrn have a viable pregnancy while I'm telling them. I called ob and asked how much an extra u/s would cist and I'm toying with the idea of spending $300 for some peace of mind, but also feel guilty because we can't really afford that. Ughhh! How are we expected survive all this waiting?
Re: Worries? (TW - discussing MC)
I've had two so obviously I'm just assuming.
I also check all the time to see if there is blood.
I think the best thing to do is just try to think positive... and I know that's hard, I have major worry problems.
But I love that chart up on top. Really nice to see such good numbers as you make it day by day.
Good luck. You're not alone!
1st Misc 11w2d
2nd Misc 6w2d
3rd Preg, Second Month on Clomed
Baby Boy Born June 2013!
4th Preg, Fifth Month on Clomed
Due 8/3/16
Follow me and my journey at:
http://alltheprettythings-cristina.blogspot.com/
Your apology doesn't mean much if you still feel the need to explain yourself. You aren't properly apologizing for your insensitivity by continuing it.
To the ladies in this thread that did suffer mc's, I'm so very sorry for your loss.
I know people who have bled all throughout their first trimester. Keep you in my thoughts. I truly hope it's a positive outcome.
Married 5/14/13
TTC #1 since 5/14
TTC #1 w/ treatments since 5/15
BFN 7/15
BFP 8/15-MMC 9/15
BFP 10/15- Diagnosed BO 12/15
BFP 2/16-EDD 11/18/2016
me: 27 | husband: 35
IR PCOS dx Sept. 2014
married May 2015 --> started NTNP
BFP 6.28.15 - EDD 3.6.16
baby #1 born 2.19.16
TTC #2 in April 2017
BFP 12.30.17 - EDD 9.6.18
Fertility Friend Chart
Yeah I'm gonna throw out a big fat NOPE. I have now had 3 miscarriages none of which were related to stress. They were all in fact caused by chromosomal abnormalities. Thanks for telling me I caused them though, that was really helpful as I bleed from my vagina.
andplusalso, I didn't read your "sources" but @Mrsleanmeanclean said they were based on someplace in Africa, that's a whole lot more extreme stress than what I face at work every day.
Hugs to @strickland8052, @meg32il and @KDHB13! I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Not everyone can breastfeed - Mammary Hypoplasia/Insufficient Glandular Tissue Awareness
@Lilypadjump The lack of sensitivity and sympathy displayed here is frankly astonishing. Your knowledge on this topic which you purport to have empirical evidence on is even more egregious. I have a lot more to say on the issue but it's simply not worth a warning.
*ETA- there is a time and place for this back-and-forth. This is not the place for it IMHO.
I guess I just stressed too much.... (Gee, thanks!)
@Lilypadjump have you ever suffered a mc or two or three? Many of us have. You don't get to tell people with traumatic histories to stop worrying. When I am upset or amped or angry and my husband tells me to calm down, guess what happens? I get even more upset, and calming down at that moment isn't an option. The proper way to communicate with people under stress is to acknowledge it, talk about, help them take their minds off it. You have done nothing but exacerbate the stress.
Sorry I asked a million questions too, but I was trying to be hopeful for you. My numbers were even lower than yours for my beta, so I still try to encourage women to not fully give up hope until AF comes, b/c I was told I'll have a CP. I'm still not in the clear, either), and it crushed me.
I'll keep you in my prayers.
Married 5/14/13
TTC #1 since 5/14
TTC #1 w/ treatments since 5/15
BFN 7/15
BFP 8/15-MMC 9/15
BFP 10/15- Diagnosed BO 12/15
BFP 2/16-EDD 11/18/2016
Every time I go to the bathroom I expect to be bleeding.
My friend suggested that I read positive pregnancy affirmations. And they help me. It's a waiting game. And it's a sucky waiting game. But in the end it's worth it. (I have a 13 month old)
Hopefully the next 2 months go fast and we don't lose anymore august babies... so sorry to those of you suffering now. My heart is with you.
Sorry for the novel that follows.
This is my fourth pregnancy. I was constantly worried during my first pregnancy. I experienced spotting at least four times and my blood pressure was high for most of my third trimester. I consumed moderate amounts of caffeine and lunchmeat until my BP spiked, and deliver a healthy full term baby who turns 2 this week.
I had a BFP again this April (2 days short of 2 years after my BFP for my son...we apparently have a get lucky week). I decided to be cool and calm since it was my second rodeo. I cut caffeine, pledged to avoid lunchmeat and eat healthier. When I started spotting at 9 weeks, I thought nothing of it but called my OB. I was devastated when I realized that the ultrasound tech couldn't find a heartbeat. I treasured the last few days of that pregnancy because it was all the time I had with my baby.
Last month I had a chemical pregnancy. I told my husband I wasn't sure if I wanted to try again afterwards, and I gave up charting partway through my cycle. When AF didn't show up by CD30, I returned to my POAS addict ways. I still haven't said the words "I'm pregnant" out loud. I showed the HPT to my husband so he could verify it was a darker line than last month, which really required squinting to see. I told him today I need a fancy toilet with a bidet because I can't stop checking TP for blood.
I spent my entire (brief) last pregnancy focusing on negativity, and never was able to be excited or cherish his/her life. Everyone around me is scared to be excited about this pregnancy, but I know now that I'll never regret loving the heck out of this person, whereas I do regret not being positive enough for our lost baby.