Is it weird I don't melt over babies?

Knottie86418473 · December 2015

So I've never been much of a "baby" person, not that I have anything against them. I never even thought of having kids until my early 30's (now 37). Don't get me wrong, we actively were TTC soon after getting married last summer and DH and I are thrilled to pieces over our pregnancy and so excited for our baby! It's just that I see and hear other moms/moms-to-be oohing and aahing over other people's babies and I'm over here thinking how my cat is way cuter. I thought once I was pregnant I'd suddenly want to hold every baby in sight, but even at Thanksgiving I was way more excited over my SIL's new lab puppy than other SIL's 6 month old baby.

I'm sure I'll think our baby is beautiful and adorable and I can't wait to be a mom, but I just don't get that excited over seeing a random baby...or SIL's apparently (don't like her much anyway lol). Is this that unusual?

Wyattnash00 · December 2015

Not weird at all! I only love a very few children that aren't mine. I was also an elementary/preschool teacher so you would think I reeeeealllly loved other people's children. And full disclosure I didn't have that insane obsessed moment when I had my son. It took months, and now I'm a woman obsessed. You will adore your child, either right away or at some point and that's all that matters:)

Knottie86418473 · December 2015

@Wyattnash00 Thanks for the reassurance! I taught elementary school for a couple years and I think it made me less likely to think other people's children are adorable. lol I'm just the slightest bit worried I won't have that obsessed moment after birth, so it's good to know it develops. I had a friend who had that experience so nice to know I'm not alone if it's the case!

purplefan1 · December 2015

Not at all. I walked by a colleagues office the other day and she had her little one in there and I just waved and walked by. I didn't want to hold it or coo at it or anything. I do think working with kids has made me less likely to want to hug other peoples' kids. Now my niece and nephews I am much closer with. However my SIL is right now having our new niece and I'm not all pumped to hold her right away either. Newborns still scare me.

Lyette1206 · December 2015

I was one of those people who went crazy for babies. Then, I got pregnant, and I was completely emotionally detached from my entire pregnancy. Excited, yes. Wanted the baby to be healthy and develop properly, of course. After my daughter was born, I don't think I loved her with my heart until 6 months or so. I loved her with my brain (as in I knew I loved her), I loved taking care of her, but it was very overwhelming at first. I also don't think I was suffering from depression. Just so busy adjusting to parenthood that the love thing took a while.

fishwife799 · December 2015

I really don't like many kids other than my own. Usually it is kids that I have known for a long time or ones that I am around regularly. As a general rule I feel awkward and don't really know what to do/say to them. It's something I struggle with when we are at birthday parties and such but it in no way shape or form reflects the type of mother that I am. I just put on a happy face and push through it.

ETA- I also will not touch a pregnant belly other than my own. It just weirds me out and I have only held about 2 newborns other than my own.

hellomommas · December 2015

You'll only probably get the "every baby is so cute and cuddly" bug after you have your own and you have fallen in love with what love for a baby is. Right now you only understand the love you have for a cat... Which is why you can prob relate to other cat lovers/admire their cats with "oohs and awes". I wasn't super into babies before having my own--- I was obsessed with my dog--- now I lovingly look at everyone's baby and "ohh and awe" them because I just have a new sense of the parent/baby relationship that puts so much more context around what a baby's love means.

ahernandez16 · December 2015

Not weird! I'm totally the same way! I know I'll love my baby and I love my nieces and nephews to death and can play and love on them but when clients bring their babies into my work and I see my coworkers "ooh and aww" and want to hold a stranger's kid, I'm just like, yeah no thanks.

And brand new newborns totally scare me. I've literally only held one in my adult life - last year when I went to visit my SIL in the hospital when my niece was born. She was just so tiny I was petrified anything I did was going to hurt her. It'll be fun to see how I navigate that fear once June comes around.

CopperLane · December 2015

I'm the same way. I love kids starting around 5 and up. But babies, not so much. I'd rather squeeze out a baby than a 5 year old, though.

I was talking about this with one of my colleagues and he said the baby stage is full of bonding and cuteness so you are less likely to strangle them when they are older and driving you insane. Of course he said this in a joking way, but he has a good point and that makes me feel better about living with a baby

hockeyfan42 · December 2015

Nope, not weird. I have a kid and I still have zero interest in holding babies, relatives or not. I really only like my kid.

It took me a long time to build an emotional bond. That "stole my heart at birth" thing everyone talks never happened. Don't worry about it! It will come. You are getting to know an entirely new person! (while likely completely exhausted and overwhelmed)

VikingGirl12 · December 2015

Same. I'm also an elementary teacher and I just don't get easily attached to other people's kids like my own. I'm not a big baby holder. Im fine with just looking at them.... Unless it's mine, then I want all the baby snuggles.

AmberLiz99 · December 2015

I'm not really a "kid person" but I absolutely love being with my kids. It's not weird at all.

26pointrunningfor2 · December 2015

I'm the same. Never even wanted kids really, but my husband wanted one so I've come around to the idea of having one. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited for this one, but I'll never be the gushy mama type. I'm essentially Miranda from Sex and the City, only, I planned this.

That said, I teach college students, and I have several very close bonds with current and former students. Caring about their well-being so much actually made me realize that I did have that motherhood gene after all

PressLove · December 2015

You're totally nomal!!! I loooooove babies! Most of them. However, I've found that if I don't like the parents, I probably won't pay the kids much attention. It's nothing personal, I just wouldn't want someone I wasn't overly fond of all in my kid's face.

Meglit89 · December 2015

Lol, I could have written this post! I totally get it OP!

HighFive16 · December 2015

Nope! I don't find it weird either. I was never a kid person and still don't feel all gooey when I see a baby. I love my child more than I ever thought I could, but other peoples kids (besides close friends) I amn't too bothered about.

Actually this was a major fear of mine before I had DD. I have never really spent time with kids, we never had changed diapers and I found toddlers noisy and annoying. I was afraid I wouldn't have a connection or the patience for my own child. But it was the opposite and was way less pressure than expecting myself to have this amazing experience as a mom.

mrsb8244 · December 2015

Totally not abnormal a ton of people I know aren't that into kids including my mom. I, however, am absolutely nuts over babies and it drives my family, especially DH, insane! If there is a baby anywhere in sight I just look at them and secretly wish their parent would be like "oh hey stranger, can you hold my baby please?" and I would be like "yes of course!" It's weird, I've always been that way I don't know why! Everyone in our families know it so anytime someone has a baby I don't have to ask to hold them they just hand the child to me...it's glorious!

peregrinefalconx · December 2015

I was taking care of my friend's 4-month old for like 15 minutes while she was in the shower. The baby was adorably cooing and giggling wildly as I did little tricks for her. After 5 minutes, I was utterly bored and couldn't wait for my friend to get out of the shower. I see babies sometimes that I think are cute and I have a couple of special ones in my life (out of many, many), so I think it's normal.

CourtJack · December 2015

Totally normal. I felt the same before I had kids. Babies were nothing special. Cute but meh. I think some people are just like that - no biggie at all!

Now that I have kids, I'm obsessed with babies though. And, side note, while I loved dogs before kids now I find them meh and mostly annoying. I wouldn't get a dog until my kids are way older and I miss taking care of something (if that ever happens)

Corts · December 2015

I am a photographer working with mostly newborns and small kids. I love a newborn when it is sleeping and wrapped up. I however encounter more than my share of demons little spawn who wipe snot on my backdrops, break my equipment and do other things that make me debate calling 911 while their oblivious parents stand there beaming & saying their kids are "just precious angels." Ugh. It is definitely different when the little darlings are your own

CDCbaby · December 2015

I already have two kids of my own and have no desire to hold anyone else's babies!

Sometimes I think "Oh that baby is cute" and of course I CANNOT WAIT to hold this baby I'm growing now, but I have never *swooned* as other people say, over babies.

I once visited a friend in the hospital and things got awkward when I held her baby (she kind of expected me to I think). But the whole time I held her I basically couldn't wait to give her back, LOL.

sthomas1222 · December 2015

Nope not weird. I don't like other people's kids for the most part. I don't like holding babies that aren't my own. And sometimes I'm so touched out I don't want to hold my own.

june2016baby · December 2015

I don't go gaga over babies either. I love kids, even other people's, but not so much babies.

With my first pregnancy, I found babies even less appealing. I didn't even think they were cute! But when I saw my son for the first time, I was SHOCKED. Never in my life had I found a baby cute or appealing. I was 100% sure I wouldn't find my baby appealing either. But as soon as I saw him, I just kept saying in an awestruck voice, "He's so precious. WHY is he so cute? I don't understand?" I actually have video footage husband took of me saying these things post-delivery. We like to watch it and laugh. I was truly, truly baffled that I instantly loved and bonded with the baby.

I bet the same thing will happen to you. However, I'm going to be honest, it's 10 years later, and I'm still not a baby person, other than my own. But I still adore kids.

alysemci · December 2015

I only melt for my own babies

crdo · December 2015

I like holding other people's babies, but kids? Nah, stay out of my personal bubble please.

I'm expecting things to be different with my kid(s).

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