Dads at appointments?

Cubslove12 · November 2015

First time mommy here! I was just curious what appointments should the Dad come to? I've heard mixed things.... My first appointment is 12/12!

trucksntutus · November 2015

LO's dad didn't come to my first two appointments. First being my confirmation, second being a dating scan at 8 weeks and blood testing for STD's and the like. Pretty boring stuff. However, my screen for Down Syndrome and other defects is on 12/23 and he will be attending that one. I feel he should be at the more important ones such as that screen, finding out the sex and etc.

stillcozy · November 2015

DH is coming with me to mine. I'm so glad he came to the first because we got to see our LO and their heart beat

it was a very special moment for us.

blissylissy86 · November 2015

Super glad DH came to the first appointment. We had an ultrasound and heard the heart beat as well. I would have been pretty sad if he had missed that. Although he was kind of shocked because the ultrasojnd was transvaginal and I also had a Pap smear. I told him to get used to it, as there will be lots of things/ people up in my business for the next several months

betheliz · November 2015

My DH came to almost every appointment with our first, even the mundane ones. But it was actually really helpful for him because he was the one with all the questions. I had already learned everything from the Bump.

This time, he probably won't come to every one. I'd say that the essential ones are any one where you get an ultrasound.

noelietrex · November 2015

I'm going to have DH come to as many appointments as possible. The one next week will just be urine and blood test and I scheduled it for 3:30 so not that one, but the ultrasound for sure and the anatomy scan. Plus anything where we could potentially get bad news I'd prefer him there and I'll be scheduling them for our lunch hours.

sboston06 · November 2015

DH is coming to my first appt at 8.5 weeks. I think it's important as they will ask about his family history, and possible do a Doppler to hear the heartbeat. He'll definitely go to any ultrasound appts as well, but probably not all of the weekly ones in the third trimester!

Nikko Blue · November 2015

With my first, my husband only came to the ultrasound appointments for the most part. It would have been pointless for him to leave work early for the monthly appointments. They didn't do much aside from weigh me, check blood pressure, and listen to the heartbeat with the doppler (which I have at home).

WVUPetunia · November 2015

I think the first one is important as well as any of the ones where you get ultrasounds. Some in between are pretty short and boring, just talking and measuring fundal height, etc.. Since we're teachers and teach out of the county, we have to take off a whole day unless the appointment is late in the afternoon. I'd hate for him to miss a day for one of those appointments.

HookEmNelson · November 2015

My husband is planning on coming with me to the early and main appts. They get pretty routine after awhile, and scheduling his work schedule gets tricky. The sono appts. we're always the best, and it was nice to have him in there with me to share sweet images of the babe.

tennisbabymama · November 2015

My DH likes to be at as many as possible. If it's possible to schedule within his lunch break then that's the goal. The ones he will have to fit in his schedule for sure would be ultrasounds.

carcrashheart · November 2015

Dh only comes to the ultrasounds. And with #2 he wasn't able to be at the 8w or 12w ultrasounds. So he was there for the 6w and 18w. Appts are so routine that there wasn't a point to have him miss work for them.

Croscrew · November 2015

My DH came to a lot of appointments the first time around. This have us a lot of time to get to know our doc really well. He will come to the first appointment since it is an ultrasound also, but this time I feel as if I only need him at the first, anatomy scan and maybe another late in pregnancy for support. We had fun doing it together a lot the first time around.

jlgriff11 · November 2015

My husband has come to every single appointment so far, even just my blood draws where he insisted to come back with me while I got it done. The only one he hasn't stayed through it was my 3 hour glucose test, and he took me and stayed for the first fifteen minutes until I was settled. He's great. I'm sure it wouldn't be the same if it was our second or third but he's dead set on perfect attendance with these. He's the best.

DobbysSock · November 2015

For DD, DH came to the first appointment (not the confirmation, the first prenatal visit). He came to an appointment I had at 11 weeks due to bleeding, as I needed the support, and came to my ultrasound a few days later making sure everything was okay. He also came to the anatomy scan at around 20 weeks. I think he came to a couple other regular appointments to hear the heartbeat when it worked with his schedule.

I'd say the first prenatal is important for your partner to go to unless you know his and his family's medical history, because they ask about that. DH liked hearing the heartbeat and seeing the ultrasounds, I think it helped him feel more connected. Most of the routine appointments are super quick and boring and DH didn't come to those.

mrsmommya · November 2015

With my DD he came to all the ultrasounds and then any appts where he happened to be off. With my loss he came to the initial appt and that was it. It was very hard going alone to the appt where I found out the heart had stopped. We will be trying to avoid that this time at all costs.

jenkeale · November 2015

First time around, my husband went to every single appt and I loved it. He wanted to and he wants to make as many as possible this time.

ach298 · November 2015

With my first, DH came to every single appointment and it was great. The second time around, he only made it to the 20 week ultrasound. But with our first, taking time off to go to an appointment was a lot easier when he had a 10 minute commute versus where we live now where he has a 1.5 each way commute. He will likely take time off to go to the 20 week ultrasound this time too, but it's probably the only one he will make again.

acadia07 · November 2015

First pregnancy: He came to almost all of them. Aw.

Second pregnancy: He came to ultrasounds at 8w, 12w, 20w, and one more later on.

Third pregnancy: He didn't come to any, and I found out I had lost the baby at my 8w ultrasound. It was not fun to be alone.

This pregnancy: I'm once again making sure he's at ultrasounds. He didn't come for my beta draws and won't come for all the pee tests and things later on.

Allison7 · November 2015

For DD, he came to my 6w + 8w ultrasounds and the anatomy scan. We did cell free DNA testing instead of the NT scan, so there was no need for him to take off work to watch them draw blood from my arm. As for my regular appointments, my OB only listens for the hb with a Doppler and I have one at home, so he didn't need to come to those either. We preferred for him to save his vacation time and paternity leave for when DD was actually here.

spartyparty · November 2015

DH came to just about every appointment the first time. He'll come to the first one this time and probably any with ultrasounds.

BostonBaby1 · November 2015

It's very difficult for my DH to take off from work. Ideally, I'd like him to be at the NT nuchal and a/s.

*typo

samantha1206 · November 2015

My DH wants to go to them all. But his day off has a tendecy to hit on the day when my doctor is not in the office. But we try to make it work, especially for the big appointments.

FiancB · November 2015

H came to my first appointment and while I'm glad he was there, I wish I hadn't tried so hard to work with his schedule. I thought they might do an u/s but it was just talking and bloodwork and a pelvic exam, which he left the room for. So it was pretty pointless for him to be there. He'll be at our dating u/s on Monday. I'd like for him to be at as many appointments as possible but other than that and the a/s I'm not going to fall apart if he can't.

Not too sure what offices are thinking with their schedules- as a teacher it's hard for him to make it in time for a late afternoon appointment, but it would be impossible if he had a 9-5 kind of job. I know the office wants to go home at 5 like everyone else, but it would be nice if they were open until, like, 6. Just glad I have a fairly open schedule so at least I don't have to take time off work for a million appointments through pregnancy.

pinkpenguin32 · November 2015

I only read half the responses. My husband will come to everything he is stateside for. He was in training out if state for the first half and deployed for the second half and first few months of our daughters life. His decision he'll be there for anything he can possibly make it to. He is very excited.

ESchreinerWrites · November 2015

Fortunately, my DH works from home, and my OB has evening appointments. First pregnancy, he came to all of them. I think he will this time, too. We'll have to schedule a bit differently this time, though, because we don't want to tell DS until after 12 weeks (He's six and would be crushed if something happened.)

dolewhipper · November 2015

At first I thought the title meant you were bringing your father to the appointment.

Also remember a child can have two moms.

My spouse went to the the first u/s appt and will probably only go to the u/s ones since he has to request off work to go to them. My sister's DH has gone to all of them, she's at 36w.

Nerdchild · November 2015

pinkpenguin32 said:
I only read half the responses. My husband will come to everything he is stateside for. He was in training out if state for the first half and deployed for the second half and first few months of our daughters life. His decision he'll be there for anything he can possibly make it to. He is very excited.

Hello PinkPenguin! My husband is also military, and I'm new to pregnancy. We will be moving within about 3 weeks of my due date (not my first move, thankfully). May I rely on you for advice in the future (as I assume you may have gone through something similar)?

Back to topic; I told my husband that I felt I only needed him there for the first ultrasound (to see/hear the heartbeat) and for sex determination. He insists that he wants to be there for all of it, so I'm doing my best to schedule early morning appointments so his missed work time is limited. Having the first appointment of the day is also nice as I don't have to wait for prior appointments that ran late. I think whatever you and your significant other decide is best will be just fine.

Cubslove12 · November 2015

dolewhipper said:
At first I thought the title meant you were bringing your father to the appointment.

Also remember a child can have two moms.

My spouse went to the the first u/s appt and will probably only go to the u/s ones since he has to request off work to go to them. My sister's DH has gone to all of them, she's at 36w.

Very True about having two moms! When I was writing this I was only thinking of my situation. I'm sorry didn't mean to offend any moms out there!

CBonner2011 · November 2015

DH came with me to my first appointment. This is our first child so at our first appointment we had a lot of info thrown at us. It was nice to have someone else there to have to remember what the NP said. Tomorrow will be our first ultrasound at 8 weeks. He will defiantly be there for that too.

pinkpenguin32 · November 2015

Nerdchild said:

pinkpenguin32 said:
I only read half the responses. My husband will come to everything he is stateside for. He was in training out if state for the first half and deployed for the second half and first few months of our daughters life. His decision he'll be there for anything he can possibly make it to. He is very excited.
Hello PinkPenguin! My husband is also military, and I'm new to pregnancy. We will be moving within about 3 weeks of my due date (not my first move, thankfully). May I rely on you for advice in the future (as I assume you may have gone through something similar)?

Back to topic; I told my husband that I felt I only needed him there for the first ultrasound (to see/hear the heartbeat) and for sex determination. He insists that he wants to be there for all of it, so I'm doing my best to schedule early morning appointments so his missed work time is limited. Having the first appointment of the day is also nice as I don't have to wait for prior appointments that ran late. I think whatever you and your significant other decide is best will be just fine.

Of course! I'll warn you I'm no pro. He has only been in 2 years. Send me a message if you want to chat.

erin7264 · November 2015

I'm not bringing him to my paperwork/labs appointment Monday, because it's just not worth making him take time off work for (he did say he'd go if I wanted). The next appointment will include an exam and I assume an U/S, so he's planning to go to that one. I scheduled everything for first thing in the morning so neither of us has to miss an entire day of work (he doesn't get paid leave). I may start switching to afternoon appointments though, just so I can take the rest of the day off and not have to go back to work after being poked and prodded.

dolewhipper · November 2015

Cubslove12 It's all good. I love how this board has made me think of others in different situations as well, and since my nephew has 2 mommies, I like to include him in everything I can.

I would just ask your partner which ones he wants to go to; every dad is different!

ETA: words are hard

TattoosandLace · November 2015

With DD, DH came to all the appointments until the every week ones. He's changed jobs since then, so time away from work will be harder to get. He's unsure if he'll be able to come to my first appointment on the 16th. I'll be 12 weeks.

thebigoaktree · November 2015

Only the big ones(heartbeat,US, family background history apt), other than that I'm fine going by myself. He can come to whatever one he wants to but it's completely up to him. I don't need him there for every check up.

nopegoat · November 2015

My H travels for work so it's usually just me and my boys. He has two appts that I require him to go to. The anatomy scan and my 38wk appt. The anatomy scan for obvious reasons and my 38wk appt because I have been sent to L&D to deliver on that appt twice now.

Crystal520 · November 2015

My husband will try to make it to every single one! Luckily we have off Thursdays together so hopefully all my appointments can be on a Thursday. So far they are scheduled that way.

fleurdelakeview · November 2015

I try to schedule my appointments in the morning so my husband can come. Last time, I asked him to come with me to the first u/s (I think I had intuition telling me something might be wrong and I didn't want to be alone). This time, I've asked him to come for that one mostly because it brings up all the reminders of the first time. As for the other appointments, I'd like him to be there for the u/s appointments but the other stuff I don't mind him sitting out. If he can go, great. If not, it should be fine.

ETA: jumbled words.

Ashers423 · November 2015

This will be our second (dd turns 2 in December) but with our first my husband came to every single dr appointment with me (which were a lot because i had gestational diabetes) and from that point on was seen every week. I imagine he will try to do the same with this pregnancy, we're going through this together

m8881 · November 2015

Just ultrasounds. You will always offend someone this day and age!

anskip · November 2015

My hubs went to all ultrasound appointments with DD. My docs were pretty cool, so when he couldn't get off work I would call him and put him on speaker phone so he could hear the heartbeat on the Doppler. He loved it. Just ask at each appointment what will happen at your next one and you guys can decide if he should come

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