Thanksgiving gone wrong- ADVICE!

Re: Thanksgiving gone wrong- ADVICE!

• irohspupil member

  November 2015

  I probably wouldn't have left but I definitely would have given everyone there an earful. I don't know; I think you reacted about the same way I would have.
  When we visited family, both DH and I said at least three times each, very loudly, that no one was to give LO anything besides the bottle of formula I brought. We then watched his family and later my family like hawks to make sure our wishes were followed. Your BILdidn't do this with malicious intent; he just wasn't thinking and it's possible he did this sort of thing with his kid. You can't assume that just because someone also had a kid that they did/do things just like you. My mom's MIL fed my brother gravy when he was 6 weeks old because she thought he was too small. My mom of course flipped and it caused a giant fight between them that lasted until the following summer.
  
  I don't know what your family is like, so I can't tell you how to go from here. I think if your BIL apologized, then there's not much else he can do to make it right.
  Also, you need to call your pediatrician and tell them what happened.

  
  
   
  Me: 25 | DH: 25  
  DD: Aug. 15
  

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• tarheelgirl8 member

  November 2015

  I probably wouldn't have left but I definitely would have been pissed. Turkey of all things?! Could have easily choked. Did you ask him for more details? Like how much. Maybe he just meant that he let LO taste it but not really eat it. Either way id still be mad, but he probably wasn't doing it to intentionally piss you off. As far as it being an experience for you to have, yes you're right, but it happened and you can't undo it. And the truth is your LO won't remember. Try to let it go.

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• MouseMama817 member

  November 2015

  If the rest of the family made you feel like you were overreacting by being upset then yes, I would've left as well. Otherwise I just would've taken my baby back and given him a BIG piece of my mind. Like @tarheelgirl8 said, LO wont remember that incident as her first food so you should try to let that part of it go. I would be more concerned with the health reasons of your LO being given food before 6 months. 

  
  

  Has your BIL apologized? If he has, I'd let it go and move on. He may have a daughter but that doesn't mean he's up on things the way you are. I'm a FTM so I can't say this with any certainty, but it's possible that a year ago it was thought to be acceptable to allow 4 month olds to try solids. Even if it wasn't, a lot of parents consider it a matter of preference instead of a matter of health safety. But I 100% agree that he should've asked before giving someone else's child food. 

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• Flurison member

  November 2015

  OMG I would have been livid, that's so dangerous.  I probably would have reacted the same way.  I think my gut instinct is to hold a grudge and burn bridges but I try to avoid it because I know it's not right or healthy - but I wouldn't blame you in the least if you are still upset about it.  For the sake of family I would try to get past it so that you can have get togethers in the future that aren't uncomfortable.  At the next gathering I would make it very clear to everyone that you and DH are in charge of LO's intake, no one else.

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• BecNJake member

  November 2015

  Great advice thank you, we did call the pediatrician and the on call nurse said since he had safely swallowed it he would either poop weird or throw it up. He ended up just pooping weird. Trying to let it go

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• jen83mn member

  November 2015

  I would be pissed!! I actually had a dream my grandma fed my 13-week-old baby cereal and I was SO angry and went off on her in my dream.
  
  You have EVERY right to be upset and I would have done the same thing. No one should be making those decisions except you as parents!
  
  That being said, you will have to forgive them for baby's sake, but I definitely would have a hard time trusting them in the future!

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• hcrish member

  November 2015

  I would be absolutely livid! I DEFINITELY would have left like you did (glad to hear your DH sided with you and left as well), however I wouldn't have left very quietly. Screw your DH's family if they think what your BIL did was perfectly ok. Stand your ground on this any anything else when it comes to the well being of YOUR child! YOU know what's best.

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• princesslockness member

  November 2015

  messymolly08 said:

  If the rest of the family made you feel like you were overreacting by being upset then yes, I would've left as well. Otherwise I just would've taken my baby back and given him a BIG piece of my mind. Like @tarheelgirl8 said, LO wont remember that incident as her first food so you should try to let that part of it go. I would be more concerned with the health reasons of your LO being given food before 6 months. 

  
  

  Has your BIL apologized? If he has, I'd let it go and move on. He may have a daughter but that doesn't mean he's up on things the way you are. I'm a FTM so I can't say this with any certainty, but it's possible that a year ago it was thought to be acceptable to allow 4 month olds to try solids. Even if it wasn't, a lot of parents consider it a matter of preference instead of a matter of health safety. But I 100% agree that he should've asked before giving someone else's child food. 

  My Pedi has us starting baby food at 17w. I'm too feed at least 1 oz of puree each day. So it really depends on the doctor.

  
  

  
  
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• BecNJake member

  November 2015

  Thank you all for your advice and feedback. Ive cooled off a little now, still upset but I know I need to forgive and move on, I can't change it. Will be more careful in trusting too easily in the future. And yes he did apologize, he sincerely thought it wasn't a big deal.

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• MouseMama817 member

  November 2015 edited November 2015

  Kate08Young said:

  messymolly08 said:

  If the rest of the family made you feel like you were overreacting by being upset then yes, I would've left as well. Otherwise I just would've taken my baby back and given him a BIG piece of my mind. Like @tarheelgirl8 said, LO wont remember that incident as her first food so you should try to let that part of it go. I would be more concerned with the health reasons of your LO being given food before 6 months. 

  
  

  Has your BIL apologized? If he has, I'd let it go and move on. He may have a daughter but that doesn't mean he's up on things the way you are. I'm a FTM so I can't say this with any certainty, but it's possible that a year ago it was thought to be acceptable to allow 4 month olds to try solids. Even if it wasn't, a lot of parents consider it a matter of preference instead of a matter of health safety. But I 100% agree that he should've asked before giving someone else's child food. 

  My Pedi has us starting baby food at 17w. I'm too feed at least 1 oz of puree each day. So it really depends on the doctor.

  
  

  Our pediatrician directed us to wait until 6 months, when studies show the baby's gut is more sealed to prevent possible food allergies. Different MD's may direct their patients differently, as you said. Ours follows AAP guidelines.

  
  

  ETA: The only reason for deviation I know of is if a child is having slow weight gain or reflux issues, which fortunately isn't the case for our LO so I don't know the earliest age at which it's recommended.

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