Having trouble with the pregnancy weight

SBorowiak · November 2015

anyone else having trouble watching the pounds pack on?

As my husband and I tried to get pregnant for 18 months, I made healthier choices and dropped 20 pounds living a healthier lifestyle filled with exercise and healthier eating. It's hard for me watching those pounds go right back up. Knowing that it's good for me and it's for the baby, but how do I know I am gaining for baby and not just gaining because I do eat more and splurge more and don't even get me started on how hard it is to consistently work out...

Anyone else feeling this way?

kynbar5 · November 2015

There's a thread "how many lbs have you gained so far" that you would probably like to read through. We all talk about the ups and downs of it.

ecwk · November 2015

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12609664/how-many-lbs-have-you-gained-so-far

SBorowiak · November 2015

I did read over that one. But I'm not as concerned with the different amounts of weight people are gaining. Because everyone is going to be different based on a number of different things. More just trying to see if anyone else is having the same difficulty with weight in general. I have only gained 15 pounds and I'm 23 weeks, which is where I should be, but that doesn't necessarily make it any easier. You're body just changes so much, and as much of a miracle as it is, I just am having a hard time with it

SBorowiak · November 2015

That thread also seems to have a lot of drama and fighting because it's hard for people to not compare when some people gain a lot early or some people don't. It's never fun to know you're the "fat" pregnant one compared to all your friends.

kynbar5 · November 2015

Those issues are talked about in that thread along with many others. Not to be rude but yes, every woman gains differently and that's exactly what that thread covers. This thread is basically the same thing. You'll find that if there's a thread going that is pretty much the same as a new one, the new one won't get many responses (if any) because most people don't like repeating everything more than once. I welcome you to our group and hope to see you actively here. It's a pretty great group!

smushi · November 2015

What kind of range did your OB give you to keep an eye out for weight gain? My OB lets me know what range I should assume for overall pregnancy as well as what I might look to gain week by week. If you start to gain much more in one week than the doctor recommends, you might be overdoing it? Or it could also be a potential signal pre-eclampsia (if I remember correctly; you'll want to corroborate with a medical professional on that information) - excess weight gain due to water retention. I'm sure there are internet charts that break down how much weight is baby/blood/placenta as you go along that you might find helpful, or maybe something your OB might have given you in a packet of information.

parenthood4 · November 2015

I always have a hard time watching the numbers climb up on the scale. I know it's necessary, but it doesn't make it fun to see those numbers. I've been able to lose the weight within a few months of the birth the first few times, so I keep reminding myself of that. But even then, it still isn't fun. It is part of the process though, so try not to dwell on it too much!

FutureMrsCaesar · November 2015

Yes I do find it hard to gain the weight. This is my 4th time doing this, and it honestly hasn't gotten any easier. I try not to think too much about the number on the scale, but the amount I've gained (and therefore will have to lose after baby) is always on my mind. I know I'm not good at dieting, so I worry that I'll put on too much weight and I won't lose it. I have friends who gain a lot during pregnancy, 50-70lbs and they don't care because they 'know they can lose it' and they do! They are really dedicated and amazing, but I just don't think I could do it.
I also worry if my belly looks huge, If I look farther along than I really am, if I look like I'm having twins etc. other body changes are hard to deal with too. This whole pregnancy I've been trying to tell myself to relax, enjoy it, be healthy and let the body do what it's going to do. But I'm definitely struggling. It really doesn't matter to me what other people have gained or not gained (not saying that to be mean, it just doesn't affect the way I see myself) this is my own internal struggle.
I will say that I've always managed to keep my weight gain in the 20-30 range and haven't had much trouble losing it post baby, but since I'm already up 15lbs, and have 16 weeks to go, I'm going to have to watch it.

kitteh81 · November 2015

I'm more concerned about the abdominal separation that happened during my last pregnancy, which I kept meaning to get around to sorting out but I was just so busy starting grad school and working. Basically, I never got it sorted and then I unexpectedly fell pregnant again, and now it's worse than ever. It causes so many problems, besides the fact that I still look about 4 or 5 months pregnant well after the postpartum period is over. And I start student teaching in the fall, so I'm going to be busier than ever, and I'm afraid that I won't be able to make it and myself a priority

alanna3622 · November 2015

@kitteh81 what is an abdominal separation?

I have a good story to cheer you @SBorowiak . Was at the pool today and a fellow sat next to me in the "warm pool" - not a hot tub, but those lame-o warm pools with water jets where parents can watch their kids in the splash area. He chatted with me for a couple of minutes. I didn't think too much of it until I had to talk to my kids about playing safe in the splash area. He stopped talking immediately and left. It was then that I realized that the angle of me that he could see involved an ample bosom and no sign of my gigantic whale belly -- until, of course, I had to chase down my kids. LOL. So now I am taking comfort that I must look okay from the diaphragm upwards.

ceds07 · November 2015

You're not alone @SBorowiak. I don't even look at the scale so I have no idea what I've gained. Doc is happy so I assume it's in normal range. Rationally I recognize that I'm not huge but that doesn't mean I don't feel it and feel blah in return. Yes, happy for a healthy baby obviously and certainly not cutting back on eating or anything but it's definitly a long haul and lots of mental changes along with physical. Hang in there, in a weird way it's almost easier to accept the bigger you are towards the end because 1. There's an end in sight and 2. The baby seems so much more tangible then.

smushi · November 2015

@alanna3622 That is awesome

SBorowiak · November 2015

Thanks @ceds07 ! It's just nice to know you aren't alone. The weight gain is obviously different for everyone. I just feel guilty about not wanting it when I know it's all part of the problem. I'm sure once I look pregnant I will be happier! Right now it's hard because I don't , but know the weight is there lol. Thanks for your words !

SBorowiak · November 2015

@FutureMrsCaesar I feel the same way. I have two friends that just had little ones in June last year and are already back down to the size they were before ! They look fantastic. And I just know for some people that doesn't happen! I know breastfeeding is a huge help for getting mommys body back to normal, and obviously great for baby. So I'm really hoping I can breast feed and don't have any complications ! Hang in there !! The weight will come off I know! For some of us just might take a little longer

2-Step · November 2015

I'm feeling the same! I had two prior pregnancies where I gained 50 pounds each so I'm not sure why I'm really surprised! This time it took me a lot longer to start gaining but once I gained I put on 20 pounds in a matter of a few weeks! I guess I thought this time maybe I would gain less but it's not looking like it. I've lost it all and more both times so I know I can do it, but being a little older and now having three kids makes me a little more nervous about getting the weight off . I totally understand where you're coming from, after my first child I got in amazing shape and was very fitness oriented. It is very hard to see that work slowly reversed. Just know that you have all the tools you need to get back there and I'm sure you will. The biggest thing is just been committed to doing it. When I start to feel frustrated I tell myself now is not the time to worry and to try to channel that into action after the baby is born . All of my friends were those tiny cute pregnant ladies that barely gained 25 pounds so I've always feel like the big huge unattractive pregnant one.

alligreer88 · November 2015

I gained 80 by 38 weeks with my first, and avoided the scale after that. I always verbally gave a number instead of stepping on the scale at my 39,40, and induction at 41. :-) Didn't deliver until 41 weeks, so I'm sure I was pushing +90. It didn't cause any medical Complications. I started at regular weight though. This baby I started at probably +20 over weight and lost 10 in first tri and I've gained that back but that's it really. I swelled so bad with first, but nothing yet this time. I however already feel like my skin is right in my legs and feet, which is weird to me.

kitteh81 · November 2015

@alanna3622 it's also called diastasis recti. It's what happens when the intra-abdominal pressure combined with loosening ligaments causes the connective tissue between the front abdominal muscles to become TOO weak, and not hold the abs together. it's what causes that post-baby belly pouch that never seems to go away, even with plenty of exercise. Because traditional ab exercises (like crunches, pilates, etc) actually make the separation WORSE.

It's also frequently related to pelvic floor issues (the peeing when you sneeze thing, which thankfully has never happened to me... yet...) and prolapse issues (which I had briefly after the birth of my last baby. She was a 9.5 pounder at birth, so I think that contributed. But the abdominal separation didn't help.)

Here's a good article about it. https://nataliehodson.com/diastasis-recti/

oceanchild · November 2015

Ugh I also have diastasis recti - since my first baby. It has gotten worse every time. We joke about my triangle-belly when I'm getting up.
I have really been struggling with the weight in my head this time. I lost a lot of weight after my last baby (health issues) and have body image issues (thanks, mom) and even though I know I need to gain the weight, the numbers are frustrating me - I reached "the recommended amount of weight gain" at halfway thru this pregnancy, and I know it's going to keep going up. I gained like 70 pounds with my first baby.
And here's an amusing pic of my diastasis currently (23w) I'm barely leaning back and everything pops thru my gap

bntfroggie · November 2015

oceanchild said:

Ugh I also have diastasis recti - since my first baby. It has gotten worse every time. We joke about my triangle-belly when I'm getting up. I have really been struggling with the weight in my head this time. I lost a lot of weight after my last baby (health issues) and have body image issues (thanks, mom) and even though I know I need to gain the weight, the numbers are frustrating me - I reached "the recommended amount of weight gain" at halfway thru this pregnancy, and I know it's going to keep going up. I gained like 70 pounds with my first baby. And here's an amusing pic of my diastasis currently (23w) I'm barely leaning back and everything pops thru my gap

@oceanchild What is that??, because I feel like I have some form of that, if I lean back there is like a peak there. I looked it up it doesn't appear to affect anything at all or be an issue that needs fixing it is just a weird pregnancy thing. Is that correct?? Does it go away again after delivery?

kitteh81 · November 2015

Nope, that's diastasis @bntfroggie and it doesn't just go away after delivery, from my experience. . You have to work the transverse abdominal muscles and the pelvic floor/pelvic girdle muscles. And try to avoid any movement that causes the football peak that ocean child's picture shows because that makes it worse. True to barrel roll onto your side and push yourself up from the side lying position.

Check out the link I posted above.

Parker16772 · November 2015

oceanchild said:

Ugh I also have diastasis recti - since my first baby. It has gotten worse every time. We joke about my triangle-belly when I'm getting up. I have really been struggling with the weight in my head this time. I lost a lot of weight after my last baby (health issues) and have body image issues (thanks, mom) and even though I know I need to gain the weight, the numbers are frustrating me - I reached "the recommended amount of weight gain" at halfway thru this pregnancy, and I know it's going to keep going up. I gained like 70 pounds with my first baby. And here's an amusing pic of my diastasis currently (23w) I'm barely leaning back and everything pops thru my gap

Mine looks like that when I lean back too. I just assumed it was from my post c-section pooch that never went away. Hoping to have a tummy tuck one day after kids.

Melodyags · November 2015

My biggest concern and why I feel bad about the weight gain is because my reg ob is going to criticize me for it. My high risk ob is more mellow and leinant. He said I gain up to 20. I'm 25 weeks and gained 8 pounds. 4 of it in the last 2 weeks. Of course was mentioned at my doctor visit. My reg ob only wants me to gain no more than between 8-11 because I'm overweight and always have high blood pressure. With my first I gained 80 pounds by the 8th month and she sent me to see a dietician and was at me about it every visit. Plus I held on to about 60 of it. My 2nd I lost 32 pounds and my 3rd I lost 18 pounds. My babies were all in 7lb range. I'm hungry so I eat. I'm not so worried about the number on scale. I try to eat healthy. I just feel bad and worry when have to go see my reg ob. I've told her I don't want to talk about the weight but she says she's got to for our health.

rosieschmozie · November 2015

Same here! I lost 50 pounds before I got pregnant and finally found the healthy balanced lifestyle which I was searching for my whole life. But now I'm pregnant, I don't have a say in how much I eat anymore. Sometimes my blood sugar dips so low that I have to have something sweet like a cookie or a glass of juice. I eat healthy, yet a lot more food and a lot more carbs then I used to.
I kept losing weight in my first trimester and it worried me. But I was eating like a boat worker, so baby just took up all the energy. Compared to my starting weight before pregnancy I gained 4.5 pounds. But compared to my lowest weight at week 15, I'm up almost up to 9 at 25 weeks. So it feels like I've gained 9 lbs and that can play with my mind at some times. I can get stressed when I see the scale go up, but right now I've just accepted the fact that my body is doing the right thing and gaining the exact right amount of weight that it needs. I take this mantra to my yoga classes or I just repeat the words to myself a couple of times a day or when I feel stressed out. So even if I end up gaining more than the 20 lbs that is strictly necessary, I'll be fine. But I totally can relate to the feeling of not wanting to lose the body or the way I was feeling about myself pre-pregnancy, which was pretty darn good! So you're not alone

SBorowiak · November 2015

2-Step said:
I'm feeling the same! I had two prior pregnancies where I gained 50 pounds each so I'm not sure why I'm really surprised! This time it took me a lot longer to start gaining but once I gained I put on 20 pounds in a matter of a few weeks! I guess I thought this time maybe I would gain less but it's not looking like it. I've lost it all and more both times so I know I can do it, but being a little older and now having three kids makes me a little more nervous about getting the weight off . I totally understand where you're coming from, after my first child I got in amazing shape and was very fitness oriented. It is very hard to see that work slowly reversed. Just know that you have all the tools you need to get back there and I'm sure you will. The biggest thing is just been committed to doing it. When I start to feel frustrated I tell myself now is not the time to worry and to try to channel that into action after the baby is born . All of my friends were those tiny cute pregnant ladies that barely gained 25 pounds so I've always feel like the big huge unattractive pregnant one.

Thanks !! Good to know!! I'm sure I'll be able to get the weight off. It's just my first so I know my lifestyle is going to be a lot different. I don't know when I will make it to the gym. Because I can't even find the time now or the energy. Thanks for your kind words.

SBorowiak · November 2015

rosieschmozie said:
Same here! I lost 50 pounds before I got pregnant and finally found the healthy balanced lifestyle which I was searching for my whole life. But now I'm pregnant, I don't have a say in how much I eat anymore. Sometimes my blood sugar dips so low that I have to have something sweet like a cookie or a glass of juice. I eat healthy, yet a lot more food and a lot more carbs then I used to.
I kept losing weight in my first trimester and it worried me. But I was eating like a boat worker, so baby just took up all the energy. Compared to my starting weight before pregnancy I gained 4.5 pounds. But compared to my lowest weight at week 15, I'm up almost up to 9 at 25 weeks. So it feels like I've gained 9 lbs and that can play with my mind at some times. I can get stressed when I see the scale go up, but right now I've just accepted the fact that my body is doing the right thing and gaining the exact right amount of weight that it needs. I take this mantra to my yoga classes or I just repeat the words to myself a couple of times a day or when I feel stressed out. So even if I end up gaining more than the 20 lbs that is strictly necessary, I'll be fine. But I totally can relate to the feeling of not wanting to lose the body or the way I was feeling about myself pre-pregnancy, which was pretty darn good! So you're not alone

I know it's so hard. I still consider myself a pretty healthy eater ! But it's hard when you crave things. Or typically I would eat dinner and then not snack, but now I'm always so hungry at night. Especially since I work a job where I'm with patients all day and I can't take any breaks to grab anything to eat besides my lunch, so I get home and I'm just starving. And I feel like I get hungry again so quickly !! I'm sure we both will get our pre pregnancy bodies back!! Maybe not exactly! Cuz we will be mommys and our bodies will have gone through a lot ! But we will still feel great again

jenniferamcooper · November 2015

I gained about 10 lbs with my last pregnancy from my starting weight but at one point. I'm a little overweight (I carry in my butt and thighs mostly) and had lost about 10 from my starting weight due to morning sickness so kinda up 20. Doctor was happy with the gain. I lost the actual weight pretty quickly (I breast fed which I swear helped) afterward but the strangest thing was at 6 months I was lower than my starting weight but my shape had changed, so my old pants didn't fit.

I wouldn't worry about weight gain now if your doctor isn't worried. And don't forget if it takes 9 months (well 40 weeks!) to put on, give yourself a break and worry about it when baby is 10 months old : )

alanna3622 · November 2015

@oceanchild @kitteh81 I have that triangle belly too! Thanks for the information and link, I didn't even know this was a "thing". Man, pregnancy kind of blows sometimes.

alanna3622 · November 2015

Also... just in case my pool story sounded like humble-bragging, let me just clarify that I not only have a whale belly but also have gotten huge in hips/butt/thighs. It is disheartening, and I am going to have a heckuva time getting rid of it due to being old and lazy.

Pregnancy sucks. Except for the baby part.

And yet... I noticed a few women the other day who had little ones and whose bodies were still carrying pregnancy weight. I was much more forgiving of them than I am towards myself. I think a lot of women do that - judge ourselves so much more harshly than others do.

SBorowiak · November 2015

alanna3622 said:
Also... just in case my pool story sounded like humble-bragging, let me just clarify that I not only have a whale belly but also have gotten huge in hips/butt/thighs. It is disheartening, and I am going to have a heckuva time getting rid of it due to being old and lazy. Pregnancy sucks. Except for the baby part.

And yet... I noticed a few women the other day who had little ones and whose bodies were still carrying pregnancy weight. I was much more forgiving of them than I am towards myself. I think a lot of women do that - judge ourselves so much more harshly than others do.

Agreed ! I think we judge ourselves way way harder. Like it was said in someone else's comment. We gain it in 40 weeks... We should give ourselves time to get rid of it

kitteh81 · November 2015

I keep reminding myself that fat deposits on the hips and thighs are later used for creating the milk that will sustain my baby. Because that's exactly where I'm gaining lately, my butt is huge!

Knottie1456889319 · November 2015

@kitteh81 I have gained in the butt/hips too. I had no idea that was for milk!

kitteh81 · November 2015

Yep! Pretty cool really, and a good reminder that the weight gain is necessary and has a purpose.
"LACTATION AND BODY FAT DISTRIBUTION Several authors have examined the effect of pregnancy and breast-feeding on body fat distribution. Longitudinal studies of skinfold thickn3ss during pregnancy and lactation consistently show fat accumulation in the supra-iliac and midthigh regions during pregnancy, with mobilization from these areas postpartum.
The authors note that long-chain polyunsaturated fatty acids are concentrated in lower body fat, and they speculate that fat from this region is preferentially mobilized in lactation to support infant brain development."
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3006166/#__abstractid342081title

jenniferamcooper · November 2015

Oh I can get on this milk distribution train... my body has been prepping for this for YEARS. I'm overweight but carry it all in my thighs and bum.

Seriously though I nursed my first and lost the baby weight quickly (didn't gain much because I was already 15-20 lbs overweight and I ate healthy and cut out beer/wine), I swear it'll melt off quickly. If you don't BF walking with baby in the spring will probably take care of it, I had my first in Feb (c section) and April 1 I was hitting the trails! Baby slept great outside, doc was exhausted and I got out of the house!

2-Step · November 2015

SBorowiak said:

2-Step said:
I'm feeling the same! I had two prior pregnancies where I gained 50 pounds each so I'm not sure why I'm really surprised! This time it took me a lot longer to start gaining but once I gained I put on 20 pounds in a matter of a few weeks! I guess I thought this time maybe I would gain less but it's not looking like it. I've lost it all and more both times so I know I can do it, but being a little older and now having three kids makes me a little more nervous about getting the weight off . I totally understand where you're coming from, after my first child I got in amazing shape and was very fitness oriented. It is very hard to see that work slowly reversed. Just know that you have all the tools you need to get back there and I'm sure you will. The biggest thing is just been committed to doing it. When I start to feel frustrated I tell myself now is not the time to worry and to try to channel that into action after the baby is born . All of my friends were those tiny cute pregnant ladies that barely gained 25 pounds so I've always feel like the big huge unattractive pregnant one.
Thanks !! Good to know!! I'm sure I'll be able to get the weight off. It's just my first so I know my lifestyle is going to be a lot different. I don't know when I will make it to the gym. Because I can't even find the time now or the energy. Thanks for your kind words.

It took me about 4 months to get a good routine going, but what worked for me was doing workout videos before baby woke up or during nap. The gym is kind of impossible for the first year unless you have a lot of help. My favorite was the 30 day shred because it is a great workout and you can do it and get showered in about 45 minutes. You've got this!

annawestt · November 2015

I'm kind of in the same boat. I'm up 18 pounds at 23 weeks which is normal; it's hard tho because before this I was working out consistently for the first time in my life and was really toned, had abs, etc. Then I got pregnant aaaaaand lets just say I don't spend hours at the gym 5 days a week anymore! It's crazy how long it takes to build muscle and then how fast you can lose it when you don't use it. I'm bummed but hoping to bounce back as quickly as I can when this is over. We'll see. I'm a FTM so have no idea what my body will do!

kitteh81 · November 2015

Just got back from the midwife, I'm up a total of 15 lbs for this pregnancy, which doesn't seem bad to me, but apparently there was a big jump from my last appointment (and I know exactly why--my mother was here visiting and we had donuts for breakfast most days and ordered in every night. I gained about 4 lbs in the 4 days she was here. We never eat like that normally, whoops!)

Basically she told me to keep an eye on it, because if I gain too much they won't let me do a water birth.

FutureMrsCaesar · November 2015

kitteh81 said:
Just got back from the midwife, I'm up a total of 15 lbs for this pregnancy, which doesn't seem bad to me, but apparently there was a big jump from my last appointment (and I know exactly why--my mother was here visiting and we had donuts for breakfast most days and ordered in every night. I gained about 4 lbs in the 4 days she was here. We never eat like that normally, whoops!)

Basically she told me to keep an eye on it, because if I gain too much they won't let me do a water birth.

That was me at my last appointment. We had just gotten back from vacation, had 2 Halloween parties that weekend plus actual Halloween, and my appointment was first thing Monday morning. I know it was at least 6 lbs, but fortunately she didn't say anything to me. I did watch it this past month though, that and being sick for 3 of the weeks, and I think I pretty much just maintained. Also, fwiw I always seem to have one month in every pregnancy where I gain a lot more than usual.

nicole103109 · November 2015

@kitteh81 I am so worried that my weight will go up too much for the same reason. I won't be able to deliver in the midwifery unit if I gain too much. Every appointment is a bundle of anxiety when I step on the scale!! Lol!

Keri1765 · November 2015

SBorowiak,

I found it helpful to look at the breakdown of pregnancy weight gain here: https://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/weight-gain/. That website also gives guidelines of how much weight to gain based on pre-pregnancy BMI.

Like you, it's hard for me to keep seeing that number go up, but I keep reminding myself of these guidelines and it helps. Also, know that you've already lost all that weight before, and you CAN DO IT again after the baby comes!

I've heard breast feeding helps. Above all, remember to have compassion on yourself (you're growing a person! It's hard!).

arcanejinx · November 2015

I thought I'd have a harder time with the weight gain. I am several years into recovery from an eating disorder. I had planned to start working on a healthier lifestyle the day I found out I was pregnant. Over the past few years of recovery I gained a lot of weight (problem with bulimia I never felt full).

I've gained less than I thought I would but I also don't weigh at home. And it's only in the past two weeks more weight has come on. My blood pressure is perfect and so is my LO. I'm actually eating less now that I'm pregnant than I used to-no room for my stomach to stretch.

I think what is helping me is using a exercise regime as my personal mommy time once LO is here. Even it's just walking the dog that is what I will do for myself everyday. Having a simple plan (which I know may not get started until the survival newborn stage is over) has made it all very calming in my mind.

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