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December 2015 Moms
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Perineal massage?

LMJLLMJL member
in December 2015 Moms
Ok, so I've read about perineal massage in a few places & how it can help loosen things up & help you avoid tearing. Has anyone actually tried this previously, had success, or trying it now? Suggestions on how to go about this if you think it's a good idea? I'm not sure I could do it myself, (I have difficulty wiping my butt these days!) I half-jokingly asked my man if he wanted to massage my perineum & he said, "wouldn't I have to go in your vagina to do that?"..... sigh....
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Re: Perineal massage?

  • LaceyH13LaceyH13 member
    .....he would have to, wouldn't he? I don't have any words of advice, except that googling that terrified me a little.
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  • LMJLLMJL member
    edited November 2015
    LaceyH13 said:
    .....he would have to, wouldn't he? I don't have any words of advice, except that googling that terrified me a little.

    Yeah, it scares me a bit too, but not as much as the thought of a tear does! & yes, from what I've read you do put a thumb inside. I just thought it was funny that he's so hesitant to get involved down there when it's not sexual. :) I might just have to try it in the bath if I give it a go...

    ETA- I just googled it myself & discovered, OMG! There's a video! Not sure why I'm surprised, but I'm so not going THERE!
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  • MerBotMerBot member
    Aw, that's too bad they're not up for it.

    Penny Simkins book "The Birth Partner" has a good and non-gross description if they are willing to help.
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  • LMJLLMJL member
    Taylovesbrad said:
    Nothing to contribute but I can barely wipe my butt too.
    Glad to know I'm not the only one! ;)


    MerBot said:
    Aw, that's too bad they're not up for it. Penny Simkins book "The Birth Partner" has a good and non-gross description if they are willing to help.
    Thanks @MerBot. I'll see if I can check that out!
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  • Whovian84Whovian84 member
    I'm going to start doing this now that I'm 36 weeks (it's unadvisable if earlier) as the RN leading my birthing class recommended it and the Mayo Clinic book and the one from APA also discuss it's potential benefits. It can't hurt, right? I might have to get into some sort of yoga position to make this work though!
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  • taysuntaysun member
    LMJL said:

    Ok, so I've read about perineal massage in a few places & how it can help loosen things up & help you avoid tearing. Has anyone actually tried this previously, had success, or trying it now? Suggestions on how to go about this if you think it's a good idea? I'm not sure I could do it myself, (I have difficulty wiping my butt these days!) I half-jokingly asked my man if he wanted to massage my perineum & he said, "wouldn't I have to go in your vagina to do that?"..... sigh....

    I imagine if you explain the benefits in a way that they'd be appealing to him he might change his mind and want to help.
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  • suchaglencocosuchaglencoco member
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    My face while reading this... the things this site teaches me on the reg. I will not be partaking as I'm hoping my two are small enough to not have me tear.
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  • nik6499nik6499 member
    Typically this can be done by your midwife while you are in labor
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  • MerBotMerBot member
    Google books has a free preview of the relevant section in The Birth Partner. No illustrations or anything in these pages. (this book can get graphic/specific in other places!)

    https://books.google.ca/books?id=b9xHP-hZmAIC&lpg=PA22&vq=Perineal&pg=PA22#v=onepage&q&f=false
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  • LauraSmarterSpamLauraSmarterSpam member
    My OB did it while I was in labor. I only had a couple of tiny lacerations that needed stitches.
    I didn't have any pain or discomfort.
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  • TomekiaBTomekiaB member
    I was waiting at the pharmacy for a prescription and so I was wandering the aisles and they had perineal massage lotion...not sure what made it special but I thought it was interesting. It was expensive like $15 for a tiny bottle. I still am not exactly sure how the massage works and I am not sure I want to google it.
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  • Court11152325Court11152325 member
    My doula suggested perineal massage and she said coconut oil is great to use. I trust her, but it seems weird to rub coconut oil all over down there. I think we'll be giving it a try soon.
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  • laurabwalkerlaurabwalker member
    spottedginger said:

    We haven't tried the perineal massage, but we are working our way up to fisting.

    LOL :lol:
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  • laurabwalkerlaurabwalker member
    A midwife will do this while you are pushing as well. I don't know the effectiveness of it really before birth, you can still do this and still have a tear, esp FTM. I have read the birth partner, and I think if you'd like to do this more power to you, if you don't, well that's fine too. Using coconut oil makes sense as it is food grade without chemicals.
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  • kepoolekepoole member
    Granted, the thought of sitting there with my thumbs in my vagina is weird and kind of hilarious, but I truly don't understand people's serious aversions to touching their own bodies.  

    I hope this helps.




    @Whovian84 it seriously makes me giggle s bit. This massage is not sexual obviously but if we think about some of the fun sexual things we may do (although I have no clue how interesting other ppls sex life are) I find this to be a simple maneuver. Not gross at all
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  • LaceyH13LaceyH13 member
    I'll admit that I get the ick factor thinking about my DH doing it. I would certainly feel weird about doing it to him if the roles were reversed.

    Not weirded out or icked about doing it to myself, but I highly doubt I could yoga myself into a position to be able to do it.
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  • TomekiaBTomekiaB member
    @whovian84 Thanks, the massage doesn't weird me out...it is actually the search results from googling it that scares me.
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  • kelseyofannekelseyofanne member
    Yeah my midwife recommended it to help ease the shock of feeling that much pressure from baby's head hitting that area. It is known to mildly reduce chances of tearing as well.
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  • cedixon2cedixon2 member
    My OBs did this for me with all 3 of my l&d's. I still needed an episiotomy as I was going to tear no matter what. I would think the stretching also happens when our DH's "service" us... So yeah... Lol ;)
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  • JackJacktheCatJackJacktheCat member
    The instructor for our childbirth prep class told us to start doing this, and I've tried to reach but I just can't! The thought of slowly stretching it out over time seems more appealing than tearing, but how is anyone actually getting both their hands down there? I can barely reach with one hand to wipe. DH would probably do it if I asked, but I'd be worried about someone else getting the pressure correct without hurting me.
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  • Whovian84Whovian84 member
    @laurasmarterspam -I about peed myself with that gif, nicely done (although it doesn't take a lot to make me pee myself these days!)
    and @Bostonbaby1 that movie is hilarious and I need to watch it again.

    I guess I wasn't really referring much to this thread as to other comments I'd read and heard from other pregnant ladies out there. But seriously googling anything like this pulls up some bizzaro results, so it's totally understandable.

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  • nz113nz113 member
    My midwife actually recommend I start it when I was 36 weeks so I did, at least I tried. I really couldn't reach so I recruited the Hubby to help lol. He was a little hesitant at first but he was and still is a trooper. The first couple times it hurt really bad, but it got easier each time and now I feel zero pain. This is my first baby so I'll let you all know if it worked! But I at least feel more confident about it all now.
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  • groovylocksgroovylocks member
    LaceyH13 said:
    .....he would have to, wouldn't he? I don't have any words of advice, except that googling that terrified me a little.

    I googled it at work :neutral:
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  • stickybun14stickybun14 member
    My husband said it sounded too hard. I told him if he can figure out how to plaster a wall and fix our broken electric garage door he can stick two thumbs in my hoo ha and help stretch it.

    If you can't reach and your partner is grossed out, you can actually buy this. The balloon goes in your lady bits and you inflate it.
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  • LauraSmarterSpamLauraSmarterSpam member
    stickybun14 said:

    My husband said it sounded too hard. I told him if he can figure out how to plaster a wall and fix our broken electric garage door he can stick two thumbs in my hoo ha and help stretch it.

    If you can't reach and your partner is grossed out, you can actually buy this. The balloon goes in your lady bits and you inflate it.

    That would be an interesting conversation if someone were to see that sitting around the house.
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