Ok, so I've read about perineal massage in a few places & how it can help loosen things up & help you avoid tearing. Has anyone actually tried this previously, had success, or trying it now? Suggestions on how to go about this if you think it's a good idea? I'm not sure I could do it myself, (I have difficulty wiping my butt these days!) I half-jokingly asked my man if he wanted to massage my perineum & he said, "wouldn't I have to go in your vagina to do that?"..... sigh....
.....he would have to, wouldn't he?
I don't have any words of advice, except that googling that terrified me a little.
Yeah, it scares me a bit too, but not as much as the thought of a tear does! & yes, from what I've read you do put a thumb inside. I just thought it was funny that he's so hesitant to get involved down there when it's not sexual. I might just have to try it in the bath if I give it a go...
ETA- I just googled it myself & discovered, OMG! There's a video! Not sure why I'm surprised, but I'm so not going THERE!
I'm going to start doing this now that I'm 36 weeks (it's unadvisable if earlier) as the RN leading my birthing class recommended it and the Mayo Clinic book and the one from APA also discuss it's potential benefits. It can't hurt, right? I might have to get into some sort of yoga position to make this work though!
Ok, so I've read about perineal massage in a few places & how it can help loosen things up & help you avoid tearing. Has anyone actually tried this previously, had success, or trying it now? Suggestions on how to go about this if you think it's a good idea? I'm not sure I could do it myself, (I have difficulty wiping my butt these days!) I half-jokingly asked my man if he wanted to massage my perineum & he said, "wouldn't I have to go in your vagina to do that?"..... sigh....
I imagine if you explain the benefits in a way that they'd be appealing to him he might change his mind and want to help.
My face while reading this... the things this site teaches me on the reg. I will not be partaking as I'm hoping my two are small enough to not have me tear.
Google books has a free preview of the relevant section in The Birth Partner. No illustrations or anything in these pages. (this book can get graphic/specific in other places!)
I was waiting at the pharmacy for a prescription and so I was wandering the aisles and they had perineal massage lotion...not sure what made it special but I thought it was interesting. It was expensive like $15 for a tiny bottle. I still am not exactly sure how the massage works and I am not sure I want to google it.
My doula suggested perineal massage and she said coconut oil is great to use. I trust her, but it seems weird to rub coconut oil all over down there. I think we'll be giving it a try soon.
Ok, so I think there's a lot of confusion/Ick-factor about perineal massage and it seems to really freak people out. So, since knowledge is power, here's what the Mayo Clinic Pregnancy book says about it:
-"Massaging the perineum in the last weeks before labor may help to stretch these tissues in preparation for childbirth [...] may help you avoid stinging when your baby's head emerges from your vaginal opening [...] and the need for an episiotomy."
Here's how they recommend doing it (so no one has to YouTube):
-Wash your hands and trim your nails
-Put a mild lubricant (it doesn't need to be the expensive stuff) on your thumbs and insert them inside your vagina
-Gently press downward toward the rectum, stretching the tissues
-Repeat daily for about 8-10 minutes.
-Stop if you feel sharp pain
Granted, the thought of sitting there with my thumbs in my vagina is weird and kind of hilarious, but I truly don't understand people's serious aversions to touching their own bodies.
A midwife will do this while you are pushing as well. I don't know the effectiveness of it really before birth, you can still do this and still have a tear, esp FTM. I have read the birth partner, and I think if you'd like to do this more power to you, if you don't, well that's fine too. Using coconut oil makes sense as it is food grade without chemicals.
Granted, the thought of sitting there with my thumbs in my vagina is weird and kind of hilarious, but I truly don't understand people's serious aversions to touching their own bodies.
I hope this helps.
@Whovian84 it seriously makes me giggle s bit. This massage is not sexual obviously but if we think about some of the fun sexual things we may do (although I have no clue how interesting other ppls sex life are) I find this to be a simple maneuver. Not gross at all
Ok, so I think there's a lot of confusion/Ick-factor about perineal massage and it seems to really freak people out. So, since knowledge is power, here's what the Mayo Clinic Pregnancy book says about it:
-"Massaging the perineum in the last weeks before labor may help to stretch these tissues in preparation for childbirth [...] may help you avoid stinging when your baby's head emerges from your vaginal opening [...] and the need for an episiotomy."
Here's how they recommend doing it (so no one has to YouTube):
-Wash your hands and trim your nails
-Put a mild lubricant (it doesn't need to be the expensive stuff) on your thumbs and insert them inside your vagina
-Gently press downward toward the rectum, stretching the tissues
-Repeat daily for about 8-10 minutes.
-Stop if you feel sharp pain
Granted, the thought of sitting there with my thumbs in my vagina is weird and kind of hilarious, but I truly don't understand people's serious aversions to touching their own bodies.
I hope this helps.
Happy birthday to all the little ones! Thumbs up!
Married 05.19.07 | Together since 03.11.00 | Dom Born 02.06.12
Yeah my midwife recommended it to help ease the shock of feeling that much pressure from baby's head hitting that area. It is known to mildly reduce chances of tearing as well.
My OBs did this for me with all 3 of my l&d's. I still needed an episiotomy as I was going to tear no matter what. I would think the stretching also happens when our DH's "service" us... So yeah... Lol
The instructor for our childbirth prep class told us to start doing this, and I've tried to reach but I just can't! The thought of slowly stretching it out over time seems more appealing than tearing, but how is anyone actually getting both their hands down there? I can barely reach with one hand to wipe. DH would probably do it if I asked, but I'd be worried about someone else getting the pressure correct without hurting me.
@laurasmarterspam -I about peed myself with that gif, nicely done (although it doesn't take a lot to make me pee myself these days!)
and @Bostonbaby1 that movie is hilarious and I need to watch it again.
I guess I wasn't really referring much to this thread as to other comments I'd read and heard from other pregnant ladies out there. But seriously googling anything like this pulls up some bizzaro results, so it's totally understandable.
I'm pleased to start such a gif worthy thread! So I have an Ob, not a midwife, I'll ask if they do perineal massage during birth at my appt. tomorrow, but I did read that for FTMs it can be helpful to do it a few weeks before. So I wanted to see if I could "help" out in that area.
I actually tried to do it myself today in the bathtub & it was pretty impossible. It was so ridiculous I had trouble not cracking up laughing! The belly is just too big & my arms aren't long enough. I couldn't get more than the tips of my thumbs in & really couldn't push down much at all. I was so mushed up I felt like throwing up in that position b/c belly was pressing into stomach. One positive is that I was able to create a lil bit of tension & could practice "relaxing" that area, which I read is good to work on. I might have to ask the man seriously to give it a go. I'm not really embarrassed, but I think he might be. Plus he's super busy with all this other stuff to get ready "for baby" that I can't do, that I feel a lil bad saying "honey, I can't stretch my own perineum, can you help?"
My midwife actually recommend I start it when I was 36 weeks so I did, at least I tried. I really couldn't reach so I recruited the Hubby to help lol. He was a little hesitant at first but he was and still is a trooper. The first couple times it hurt really bad, but it got easier each time and now I feel zero pain. This is my first baby so I'll let you all know if it worked! But I at least feel more confident about it all now.
@BostonBaby1 your DH is such a trooper! My fiance was like no thanks. You are on your own there. He'll mop up my vomit no problem but he won't massage my perineum. I guess I found a boundary lol!
My husband said it sounded too hard. I told him if he can figure out how to plaster a wall and fix our broken electric garage door he can stick two thumbs in my hoo ha and help stretch it.
If you can't reach and your partner is grossed out, you can actually buy this. The balloon goes in your lady bits and you inflate it.
My husband said it sounded too hard. I told him if he can figure out how to plaster a wall and fix our broken electric garage door he can stick two thumbs in my hoo ha and help stretch it.
If you can't reach and your partner is grossed out, you can actually buy this. The balloon goes in your lady bits and you inflate it.
That would be an interesting conversation if someone were to see that sitting around the house.
Married 05.19.07 | Together since 03.11.00 | Dom Born 02.06.12
Re: Perineal massage?
Yeah, it scares me a bit too, but not as much as the thought of a tear does! & yes, from what I've read you do put a thumb inside. I just thought it was funny that he's so hesitant to get involved down there when it's not sexual. I might just have to try it in the bath if I give it a go...
ETA- I just googled it myself & discovered, OMG! There's a video! Not sure why I'm surprised, but I'm so not going THERE!
Penny Simkins book "The Birth Partner" has a good and non-gross description if they are willing to help.
Thanks @MerBot. I'll see if I can check that out!
My face while reading this... the things this site teaches me on the reg. I will not be partaking as I'm hoping my two are small enough to not have me tear.
https://books.google.ca/books?id=b9xHP-hZmAIC&lpg=PA22&vq=Perineal&pg=PA22#v=onepage&q&f=false
I didn't have any pain or discomfort.
@Whovian84 it seriously makes me giggle s bit. This massage is not sexual obviously but if we think about some of the fun sexual things we may do (although I have no clue how interesting other ppls sex life are) I find this to be a simple maneuver. Not gross at all
Not weirded out or icked about doing it to myself, but I highly doubt I could yoga myself into a position to be able to do it.
So I have an Ob, not a midwife, I'll ask if they do perineal massage during birth at my appt. tomorrow, but I did read that for FTMs it can be helpful to do it a few weeks before. So I wanted to see if I could "help" out in that area.
I actually tried to do it myself today in the bathtub & it was pretty impossible. It was so ridiculous I had trouble not cracking up laughing! The belly is just too big & my arms aren't long enough. I couldn't get more than the tips of my thumbs in & really couldn't push down much at all. I was so mushed up I felt like throwing up in that position b/c belly was pressing into stomach. One positive is that I was able to create a lil bit of tension & could practice "relaxing" that area, which I read is good to work on. I might have to ask the man seriously to give it a go. I'm not really embarrassed, but I think he might be. Plus he's super busy with all this other stuff to get ready "for baby" that I can't do, that I feel a lil bad saying "honey, I can't stretch my own perineum, can you help?"
I googled it at work
*typo
If you can't reach and your partner is grossed out, you can actually buy this. The balloon goes in your lady bits and you inflate it.