Ok, HOW do I miss these things? Both threads you guys mention I never saw. I have to think someone hurling slurs like cunt & bitch gets warnings! Maybe they just haven't accrued 3 yet? Also what thread did someone accuse ppl of faking pregnancies? I miss all the good stuff.
Ok, HOW do I miss these things? Both threads you guys mention I never saw. I have to think someone hurling slurs like cunt & bitch gets warnings! Maybe they just haven't accrued 3 yet? Also what thread did someone accuse ppl of faking pregnancies? I miss all the good stuff.
It was a long time ago.
Huh! I guess it must've happened on an off week. I've been here since spring, just had to close account to change my username. Came over with my real name which I had used for my "theknot" account. Then someone scared the shit outta me with the story about babies getting cut out of women when everyone was posting US pics with names attached & I heard about that craigslist story. (Very scary after what just happened in the Bronx!) But I have been here for a long time. Just feel like I somehow always miss the big stuff. Like the, oh so controversial "and..." gif.
Ok, HOW do I miss these things? Both threads you guys mention I never saw. I have to think someone hurling slurs like cunt & bitch gets warnings! Maybe they just haven't accrued 3 yet? Also what thread did someone accuse ppl of faking pregnancies? I miss all the good stuff.
It was a long time ago.
Yeah I remember that one. She said something along the lines of "iIl bet most of you aren't even pregnant". Also the woman that compared sex disappointment to a loss. She was a real peach.
You'll know what you're posting and why. If it's to make someone feel stupid, or point out another person's faults... Or to put someone down to build yourself up... I know this is the wrooong post to call for a little class, but I think that we are better than being petty. Strong women build each other up. You ladies are all very clever, funny, and witty, but I think we could do a better job at recognizing when we cross the line.
You'll know what you're posting and why. If it's to make someone feel stupid, or point out another person's faults... Or to put someone down to build yourself up... I know this is the wrooong post to call for a little class, but I think that we are better than being petty. Strong women build each other up. You ladies are all very clever, funny, and witty, but I think we could do a better job at recognizing when we cross the line.
Umm long standing and supportive members are getting banned because others are getting "butthurt" over the simplest of responses. I can assure you that us ladies aren't the ones crossing the lines.
I just wanted to add that I haven't been around since March- I joined in May. Mostly bc I was in shock I was pregnant (my son was ivf 5 years ago) & waited a while before joining. I think the key here is meaningful contributions vs the "drive by" posters or shit stirrers. Unwelcoming tone? Idk- I think the admins probably aren't even 100% on what that means. I've had a few posts that didn't go over well and in real life I've had a time or two that what I said wasn't well-received, either (step-mom of 13 years, comes with the territory). Did I view it as unwelcoming? Nope. A difference of opinion & I appreciate honesty in all forms. Anyway ladies- just ignore the noise. I think you're great - even when you don't agree with me.
Per the original "please define" question, i have a theory.
See what's going on here imo is that a number of DIFFERENT people post threads that have been discussed a thousand times. And a number of DIFFERENT people have hurled very hurtful insults ("Your kid will be a bully", "You're not even pregnant!", "The wrong sex on my ultrasound was a HORROR STORY!" etc) But the SAME individuals try to put a stop to it and react on behalf of the group. People who have been here since the start and just want to keep the board free of clutter and look out for hurtful comments. (Let's face it. A drive by GIF is not even in the same species as "Your baby will grow up to be a stupid bully like you")
The problem is... what admin does is.. they're looking at the COMMON DENOMINATOR instead of the people breaking the TOS. Admin probably spread thin so all they see is "Oh randomUser477 reported regularUser1. This is the third time RegularUser1 has been reported by a different person. Better ban her or the community is going to go to shit"
I get that the admin are overseeing the whole board and likely have day jobs themselves and all kinds of reasons.. but surely when we step up and say "There is another side to this story" they should listen.
I was making a point of staying out of things for awhile. I had a bit of a breakdown between my first and second trimesters that was not caught in time. And it left me far less able to deal with simple things than I realized. So when I DID figure out that something wasn't right with my perception of the world, I just avoided this kind of discussion and tried to relax.
But when i saw long-standing members start getting banned and looked into why, it bothered me. It made me nervous. It made me sad that they might not be able to show us their beautiful babies when those babies arrive. People who have invested a lot into the community.
And people need to put gifing (is that even a word?) into some perspective because saying "Your kid is going to be x" in response to a gif is a very disproportionate response.
Per the original "please define" question, i have a theory.
See what's going on here imo is that a number of DIFFERENT people post threads that have been discussed a thousand times. And a number of DIFFERENT people have hurled very hurtful insults ("Your kid will be a bully", "You're not even pregnant!", "The wrong sex on my ultrasound was a HORROR STORY!" etc) But the SAME individuals try to put a stop to it and react on behalf of the group. People who have been here since the start and just want to keep the board free of clutter and look out for hurtful comments. (Let's face it. A drive by GIF is not even in the same species as "Your baby will grow up to be a stupid bully like you")
The problem is... what admin does is.. they're looking at the COMMON DENOMINATOR instead of the people breaking the TOS. Admin probably spread thin so all they see is "Oh randomUser477 reported regularUser1. This is the third time RegularUser1 has been reported by a different person. Better ban her or the community is going to go to shit"
I get that the admin are overseeing the whole board and likely have day jobs themselves and all kinds of reasons.. but surely when we step up and say "There is another side to this story" they should listen.
Yes!! I also fail to see how these drive by gifs are so hurtful compared to members calling others c u next Tuesdays and b**ches.
This little guy just wants to go for a drive by the harbor, what's so bad about that?
Differing opinions are one of the ways that we learn. IMO sarcasm is hilarious. However, if the goal of your post or response is to make a poster feel stupid, berate someone for not having read every thread since April or form a posse to gang up with gifs and make fun of a post you are being unwelcoming. If it makes people who aren't in the "I've been here since April in-crowd" afraid to post... it's unwelcoming. I've seen tons of "gif parties" lately where ladies are called out for clogging the board by asking a question. Functionally this means that when you search by topic you click into 42 threads of people being made fun of before you get far enough back to find one where the OG's allow people to respond with real information. In my opinion it makes the (important and useful) search function worthless and clogs the board even more. Plus, its just clickish and "unwelcoming".
Differing opinions are one of the ways that we learn. IMO sarcasm is hilarious. However, if the goal of your post or response is to make a poster feel stupid, berate someone for not having read every thread since April or form a posse to gang up with gifs and make fun of a post you are being unwelcoming. If it makes people who aren't in the "I've been here since April in-crowd" afraid to post... it's unwelcoming. I've seen tons of "gif parties" lately where ladies are called out for clogging the board by asking a question. Functionally this means that when you search by topic you click into 42 threads of people being made fun of before you get far enough back to find one where the OG's allow people to respond with real information. In my opinion it makes the (important and useful) search function worthless and clogs the board even more. Plus, its just clickish and "unwelcoming".
Yes. My thoughts exactly. Sarcasm IS hilarious. But not at other peoples expense (unless they're mega jerks) haha.
Re: Please define..
You ladies are all very clever, funny, and witty, but I think we could do a better job at recognizing when we cross the line.
I think the key here is meaningful contributions vs the "drive by" posters or shit stirrers. Unwelcoming tone? Idk- I think the admins probably aren't even 100% on what that means. I've had a few posts that didn't go over well and in real life I've had a time or two that what I said wasn't well-received, either (step-mom of 13 years, comes with the territory). Did I view it as unwelcoming? Nope. A difference of opinion & I appreciate honesty in all forms.
Anyway ladies- just ignore the noise. I think you're great - even when you don't agree with me.
The problem is... what admin does is.. they're looking at the COMMON DENOMINATOR instead of the people breaking the TOS. Admin probably spread thin so all they see is "Oh randomUser477 reported regularUser1. This is the third time RegularUser1 has been reported by a different person. Better ban her or the community is going to go to shit"
I get that the admin are overseeing the whole board and likely have day jobs themselves and all kinds of reasons.. but surely when we step up and say "There is another side to this story" they should listen.
But when i saw long-standing members start getting banned and looked into why, it bothered me. It made me nervous. It made me sad that they might not be able to show us their beautiful babies when those babies arrive. People who have invested a lot into the community.
Yes!! I also fail to see how these drive by gifs are so hurtful compared to members calling others c u next Tuesdays and b**ches.
This little guy just wants to go for a drive by the harbor, what's so bad about that?
I lurk. I snark. I offer sound advice if you're not BSC. You may not like me. I'm okay with it.
I lurk. I snark. I offer sound advice if you're not BSC. You may not like me. I'm okay with it.
inconceivable... (Vizzini is still ok though, right?)