UO Thursday

dshannah · November 2015

Because it's already Thursday somewhere...

My UO this week is ****How Much I HATE "Gender Reveal" Parties.****

1. First off, it's revealing sex, not gender

2. Everyone knows this. Like, everyone. But we can't call it a "Sex Reveal" party because a) people might get the wrong idea and show up in BDSM gear or think there'll be strippers or some shit and b) it announces the real purpose of the event, which is...

3. To point out the genitalia of your unborn child. Seriously, how is that a thing? When you meet an infant, everyone would look at you hella odd if you said "Let me look at his wee-wee!" amirite?

4. Not to mention it's a whole extra party for people to pretend to be excited about something only you (and maybe not even you) care about. Which is even worse for our birth month group because...

5. We'd all be doing our Sex Reveal parties between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Don't we have enough things to celebrate? And for those of us in interfaith households, add in Hanukkah. All eight freaking days of it. So let's just have ALL THE PARTIES in that one month-long window. I don't care about party fatigue. Not true. I totally care about party fatigue: it's just not special if you're celebrating something all the damn time. All of which doesn't really matter because...

6. "Sex/Gender Reveal" parties are stupid whenever you hold them.

hmph.

TXmamatobe · November 2015

I feel scared.

dshannah · November 2015

TXmamatobe said:

I feel scared.

Too much cursing? Too much cursing. I'll fix it.

doozer1345 · November 2015

I know I'll have a blast at mine.

I understand where the whole sex/gender thing comes from but I think that's dumb. If my baby has a vagina her gender will be a girl until she vocalizes otherwise later on so I will refer to her gender as girl until then vice versa for boy.

I won't be showcasing his or her genitalia at the dinner party we are having so maybe I'm having a different kind then others.

If the people that decide to come to the party aren't aware this is a celebration dinner or aren't excited then they don't have to come. I'm not holding a gun to their head saying they HAVE to be happy and celebrate and come to the shower too.

I don't think you can go overboard celebrating a child. I think forcing people to do that with you is a bit much but they don't have to come.

Lastly, Thursday's are my Fridays at work so this totally bummed me out for the night bc it's not Thursday

tgortney · November 2015

Agreed @dshannah
We had a small reveal with just the grandparents, essentially because they wanted to start buying stuff that were more specific to the sex of the baby. We DID not want to make an afternoon of it or waste the money to do so.

Kurrant · November 2015

Wow for the first time ever 'UO Thursday' is actually here when it is Thursday for me!

I normally lie in bed for 20 minutes in the morning and read all the drama that's been going on while I'm sleeping! (I wake up when it's around 2 or 3 in the after on the East coast)

I didn't even know reveal parties were a thing till I joined the bump. Everyone I know just had showers and announced there for people who didn't know already.

evalynn24 · November 2015

I agree to a point. I'm not going to do one myself, but I don't mind if someone else does this INSTEAD of a baby shower.

Also, the last part of May won't find out the sex until January, if it's their true 20 week appointment (I'm due 5/26 and 20 weeks will be 1/7). So really I would think about 1/2 of the parties would be in January sometime, not just December.

LovingLife! · November 2015

Wait, it's Wednesday!

Umm that's a really strong UO.

I am revealing the sex of our baby at my family dinner Sunday night. My aunt offered to take the results and get a cake, so we will all be surprised! There will be no pointing out or showing of penises or vaginas involved.

The first thing everyone wants to know when your pregnant is: is it a boy or a girl?! So, gender/sex (yeah, there's a difference and most people know it) reveals are a super fun thing. People that care about you will care about whether or not your baby is a boy or a girl.

LovingLife! · November 2015

doozer1345 said:

I won't be showcasing his or her genitalia at the dinner party we are having so maybe I'm having a different kind then others.

Wait, you won't have a giant penis piñata if it's a boy?! I thought this was how these things are done!! haha

yogahh · November 2015

I wanted to say this last week but stopped myself... But what the hell... Let the flaming begin

I think pit bulls should be banned.

(I also think the singer Pit Bull should also be banned.)

Edited because auto correct blows

yogahh · November 2015

@dshannah - re:
2. Everyone knows this. Like, everyone. But we can't call it a "Sex Reveal" party because a) people might get the wrong idea and show up in BDSM gear or think there'll be strippers or some shit and b) it announces the real purpose of the event, which is...

I have to say not everyone knows this. Look around the bump and how many questions there are on "gender". I'll admit that until tb, I thought the terms were interchangeable.

Jparke2 · November 2015

I won't be having a gender reveal party, mainly because I'm lazy. But I used to work at a bakery so we made cakes for gender reveals every day. I think they sounds fun. The gender/sex thing bothers me too, I totally agree. And I also agree that its kind of awful to have a party to celebrate your baby's genitalia. But I don't really think that is what its about, I think its about answering one of the big questions that everybody gets when they are pregnant! If one of my friends was pregnant and was having a gender reveal party, I would be really excited to go!!! I'm constantly getting questions about whether I'm having a girl or boy, people seem really excited to find out! I mean, I guess all of these people could be lying haha but with my last pregnant friend, I was waiting for her text message to tell me the sex of her baby ALL DAY when the day came that she was finding out. So I do think people enjoy them and get excited for those things. However, I don't think it should be a gift giving thing. Thats what the shower is for! Anyway, just my two cents! I think they are great for people that are into that kind of thing and for people who don't like them, then thats cool too! Everybody do your own thing

vinerie · November 2015

yogahh said:

I wanted to say this last week but stopped myself... But what the hell... Let the flaming begin I think pit bulls should be banned. (I also think the singer Pit Bull should also be banned.) Edited because auto correct blows

I think about this a lot as I live in a state where pit bulls are not banned. I also live in a state with a bunch of redneck idiots who DO dogfight with pit bulls. BUT...if a pit bull is raised in a loving home, it will be no more aggressive than any other dog. There is a special place down under for people who run dog fight rings and anyone who abuses animals.

UO, dog theme: Why would anyone get a chihuahua? They seem to have a lot of issues. (Used to live next to a NASTY one who attacked my dog numerous times. And every time we walk by them on walks, they always seem to go bonkers. And I've never seen one actually trained, usually because when they misbehave, the owners simply pick them up.)

UO#2: People should rescue dogs. Why do you need a purebred? Also, I doubt this is entirely an UO, but don't EVER buy a dog from a pet store!

yogahh · November 2015

vinerie said:

yogahh said:

I wanted to say this last week but stopped myself... But what the hell... Let the flaming begin

I think pit bulls should be banned.

(I also think the singer Pit Bull should also be banned.)

Edited because auto correct blows

I think about this a lot as I live in a state where pit bulls are not banned. I also live in a state with a bunch of redneck idiots who DO dogfight with pit bulls. BUT...if a pit bull is raised in a loving home, it will be no more aggressive than any other dog. There is a special place down under for people who run dog fight rings and anyone who abuses animals.

UO, dog theme: Why would anyone get a chihuahua? They seem to have a lot of issues. (Used to live next to a NASTY one who attacked my dog numerous times. And every time we walk by them on walks, they always seem to go bonkers. And I've never seen one actually trained, usually because when they misbehave, the owners simply pick them up.)

UO#2: People should rescue dogs. Why do you need a purebred? Also, I doubt this is entirely an UO, but don't EVER buy a dog from a pet store!

***************************************
I agree with a lot of this. I should clarify.. I don't think all pits are bad. But if people are going to own them, maybe there should be some sort of registration process and mandatory training? All I know is I'm sick of hearing of nine year old little girls that are killed by he neighbors pit. It's not the loving families dog that is often times attacking. It's the idiot down the street that wants a pit for street cred. So maybe forcing training classes would keep the guy that just wants a pit to "look cool" from owning one.

And yes, very special place in hell for animal abusers. How can people hurt an animal? It's sick!

TheThornBird · November 2015

This thread makes me want to now throw a big "SEX REVEAL" party (yes, it'll say that on the invitations) with a giant penis pinata. And maybe I'll buy a bunch of those penis-themed bachorlette party favors. And didn't Miley Cyrus have a party where people bobbed for penises in a tub of milk? Let's do that, too!

It'll be even more funny if it turns out the baby is a girl

@yogahh Pit Bull the singer (can you even call what he does singing? He just sounds like he's talking in rhymes to me) should be banned. He is so creepy. Like that creepy uncle who never says anything outright inappropriate but still gives you the heebie-jeebies. And his pants are always way too tight; I don't want to see your (probably stuffed) buldge, dude.

I saw the news story I think you are referencing- I'm a dog trainer, and my UO is dogs should NEVER EVER be left alone with children that small. Many owners mean well but aren't skilled at reading dog body language, so while to their eye the dog is fine, a trainer can see it is a crisis waiting to happen. Kids tend to just piss off dogs because they are constantly grabbing them, chasing them, etc and don't stop when the dog is giving them all these signals to, until they finally bite or kill. Some breeds/dogs "snap" very easily; they may be playing, but when their arousal level gets so high it can quickly flip to aggression. I just don't get why people leave a potentially dangerous and deadly animal alone with their child. Yes, it may be friendly and great with kids when you're around, so you think it's harmless. An unloaded gun is harmless, yet I'm sure as hell not going to risk letting my baby play with one, no matter how many times I check that it's unloaded.

Okay, rant over. I've just seen a lot of bad come from mixing dogs and kids.

Missingchampagne · November 2015

My gender/sex reveal party is happening this Sunday, with only family, when everybody is already beginning to trickle into town for the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday.

We specifically kept our invitations casual and are treating it like a "let US treat YOU" thing - we're treating our family to a catered lunch with plenty of liquor. The baby shower will be the time for gifts, this is us thanking our families by sharing this piece of information with them before the rest of the world, and social media. It will be a time for lots of happiness, pictures, and one more excuse to celebrate and party together! I just don't see a reason to hate on any of that

Bluejay3030 · November 2015

While we're on the subject of animals, I discovered recently that I'm not a dog person. I always grew up with dogs and loved them dearly, but now all I can think of is how dirty they make things.

When I go to friends' houses who have pets it drives me nuts to have a smelly, slobbery dog jumping all over me and DD. Sorry yall, I know I'm outnumbered by some major dog lovers here!

acorcoran89 · November 2015

I am not having a big full blown party but my sex/gender/whatever you want to call it because it doesn't really matter we are getting to the same thing is going to be our friends-giving/party. I am from a military family and I have no family around so my friends finding out with me means the world to me! I CAN'T WAIT! I don't really care who likes them or not-- if you don't, don't have one or don't attend!

laurenmdrn16 · November 2015

All you animal lovers, hear me out: I think there should be some sort of organized program to help rehome animals who can no longer live in their previous homes because of a change in family status (ie a new baby). I have seen so many of my friends post on FB that their cat or dog is suddenly too aggressive and now that they are expecting, they are afraid for their new baby. I at first thought these people were bonkers, but now that my cat has decided to become a demon and is attacking me *while on the stairs carrying my son*, won't let MH sleep, and has *scratched my son out of the blue!* I wish there was some reputable way for me to find a loving home for my dear Khloe Cat...that DOESN'T have kids! I could bring her to a no-kill shelter, but I would like to be able to know she is in the right home. I am angsting over this hardcore and wish something like this existed. Or maybe it does and I just don't know about it...

Upon re-reading this, it is not a UO. My UO is...I know it is not a UO, but am too lazy to care.

dshannah · November 2015

dshannah said:

3. To point out the genitalia of your unborn child. Seriously, how is that a thing? When you meet an infant, everyone would look at you hella odd if you said "Let me look at his wee-wee!" amirite?

To address several comments: By this I don't mean that you literally show off the baby's genitalia (though I am all in favor of the Miley style "bobbing for penises" idea, @thethornbird! If you're going to do it, do it right, I say!). I mean that you are pointing out that your child has one set of external genitalia and not another. Because that's all you can tell at this point. So the party is literally: "MY CHILD HAS A PENIS!!!" or "MY CHILD HAS A VAGINA!"

Which seems really weird to me. And equivalent to someone meeting a baby for the first time and not looking at those tiny hands and feet and those adorable baby cheeks but instead asking to examine its private parts.

dshannah · November 2015

yogahh said:

@dshannah - re: 2. Everyone knows this. Like, everyone. But we can't call it a "Sex Reveal" party because a) people might get the wrong idea and show up in BDSM gear or think there'll be strippers or some shit and b) it announces the real purpose of the event, which is... I have to say not everyone knows this. Look around the bump and how many questions there are on "gender". I'll admit that until tb, I thought the terms were interchangeable.

Two points! 1. Maybe not everyone, but certainly anyone who's been hanging around the boards:) 2. One of the reasons I think people still say "gender" instead of "sex" is because of these stupid gender reveal parties. As I pointed out, there are reasons unrelated to accuracy or ignorance that people call them "gender reveal" parties. So, if we stop having the damn parties, maybe folks won't be so accustomed to using "gender" when they mean "sex."

jumpy57 · November 2015

I am a dog lover and at one point was working as a dog trainer. I came across the book Kids and Dogs: A Professional's Guide to Helping Families, by Colleen Pelar and it's a great resource with lots of pictures and I really recommend reading it if you have a dog (even a very very nice dog). It will really help identify subtle signals from your dog telling you he/she is uncomfortable.

UO: I don't like pumpkin pie. I pretended to for many years of Thanksgivings, but I just don't like it. Pumpkin anything is actually pretty terrible now that I think about it.

araecasey · November 2015

laurenmdrn16 said:
I wish there was some reputable way for me to find a loving home for my dear Khloe Cat...that DOESN'T have kids! I could bring her to a no-kill shelter, but I would like to be able to know she is in the right home. I am angsting over this hardcore and wish something like this existed. Or maybe it does and I just don't know about it...

We rehomed our cat for these very reasons after my daughter was born. We contacted a shelter in the area to put her on petfinder.com, so we got to keep her in our home instead of taking her to a shelter and we got to screen every applicant ourselves. It worked out really well.

emilyj77 · November 2015

I think Unpopular Opinion Thursday should be renamed to Debate Thursday. I always think of UO as being able to state an unpopular opinion and then move on. But on The Bump it's more like one person states an opinion and then everyone responds. So really the thread is not abut multiple UO's, it's about a couple that are hot topics and then pages and pages of debate. State your UO, if others agree, hit the Love It button, if you don't agree, move on to the next post. It's one person's UO, hence the name of the thread. It's because of this that I usually skip UO. This could just be me and my understanding not being the same as the group's.

JessicaB0627 · November 2015

@yogahh Like @TheThornBird said, I think the biggest problem with dogs attacking kids is irresponsible parents that leave their children with dogs they do or do not know and also parents not teaching their kids how to treat dogs. We have a German Shepherd at home and we have spent a lot of time and effort teaching our DD what she can and cannot do to our dog. Our dog LOVES DD and I think if he had to choose one person in our house, it would be her. They are very sweet to each other. If you ask her who her best friend is, she'll say our dog every time. However, even though I don't think he would ever hurt her, I also do not leave them alone together. I also am so adamant about teaching her how to treat our dog well because I want her to know that she has to treat all dogs well.

We have also taught her that she is not allowed to approach a dog she doesn't know without asking us first. And on the subject of pit bulls, my sister has a pit bull and I am not exaggerating when I say that she is the absolute sweetest dog I have EVER met. My sister also has 2 cats and the pit bull and the cats cuddle together all the time. I'm fairly certain this dog would not hurt a fly. HOWEVER, I never leave DD alone with her and she's only allowed to pet her when we're right there. She also does a very good job of gently petting and knows what she cannot do.

We never could rent an apartment because our dog is considered an "aggressive breed", but seriously I think chihuahuas are more aggressive than any dog on that list! I absolutely despise those hateful little dogs!

Also, no flaming here! Just offering a different perspective.

TXmamatobe · November 2015

I can't stand Good Morning, America. The Today Show is where it's at!!

vinerie · November 2015

laurenmdrn16 said:

All you animal lovers, hear me out: I think there should be some sort of organized program to help rehome animals who can no longer live in their previous homes because of a change in family status (ie a new baby). I have seen so many of my friends post on FB that their cat or dog is suddenly too aggressive and now that they are expecting, they are afraid for their new baby. I at first thought these people were bonkers, but now that my cat has decided to become a demon and is attacking me *while on the stairs carrying my son*, won't let MH sleep, and has *scratched my son out of the blue!* I wish there was some reputable way for me to find a loving home for my dear Khloe Cat...that DOESN'T have kids! I could bring her to a no-kill shelter, but I would like to be able to know she is in the right home. I am angsting over this hardcore and wish something like this existed. Or maybe it does and I just don't know about it...

Upon re-reading this, it is not a UO. My UO is...I know it is not a UO, but am too lazy to care.

There are a lot of good shelters who are familiar with this issue. It's my No. 1 fear, myself. I cannot imagine giving up my dog. She's great around kids and people in general, so there are no "warning" signs, per se, but my mind still goes to the worst case scenario on this issue, sometimes. Best of luck to you...

ETA: emilyj77 I agree! If you get offended, don't click on the UO thread! I got flamed last week for my UO about SUVs. I KNOW it's an UO! Which is why I put it in this thread! That being said, I think some UOs generate discussion, which is interesting. But there is no reason to flame anyone, really, in this thread.

Jesse835235 · November 2015

yogahh said:

I wanted to say this last week but stopped myself... But what the hell... Let the flaming begin I think pit bulls should be banned. (I also think the singer Pit Bull should also be banned.) Edited because auto correct blows

I think PEOPLE should be banned from owning dogs if they don't know how to properly train and socialize their dog.

Jesse835235 · November 2015

dshannah said:

2. One of the reasons I think people still say "gender" instead of "sex" is because of these stupid gender reveal parties. As I pointed out, there are reasons unrelated to accuracy or ignorance that people call them "gender reveal" parties. So, if we stop having the damn parties, maybe folks won't be so accustomed to using "gender" when they mean "sex."

I think it's more because people would rather not say "sex" to be honest.

LadySamLady · November 2015

@JessicaB0627 I wish more parents were intentional about teaching their children how to interact with dogs the way that you are. I've got two rescues that had a rough start, they were the only survivors of a litter that was intentionally starved and abused. When we first got them I was especially cautious when children were around because we didn't know them yet, but they were very cute little pups and kid magnets. It was very surprising to me how many kids marched up to them with their faces practically touching and patted them on the head without even speaking to us first. It made one of our dogs very nervous around children at first, luckily he's great now. When kids approach us now I always get ahead of it and tell them that our dogs our friendly but shy and that they should hold out their hand low so they can sniff it first. They're not really that shy but they could bark if they are alarmed and I wouldn't want the kid to get scared, there are just too many things that can go wrong. My child will be taught to first admire dogs from a distance, and only to approach with my explicit permission. I could go on and on about this issue because it drives me crazy.

Charla1224 · November 2015

My UO.... I'm not a huge fan of Thanksgiving foods. I'm excited to get a break from work and visit with family, but I'm just sort of "eeeehhh" when it comes to the foods. I don't like turkey, I hate all things pumpkin, and I can eat mac and cheese, cranberries, or mashed potatoes any other day.

I'm just usually left underwhelmed.

businessmama · November 2015

UO - I hate that the dogs are always the one to blame. We had a snot nosed 6 year old girl we had never met come into our fenced backyard and suffocate our dog while trying to kiss him and he bit her. My dog had to be quarantined for 10 days, scared to death, and could have been put on a vicious dog list, all because parents weren't watching their six year old walk 1/2 mile down the road.

sarawifenow · November 2015

My UO today is that I think Starbucks is way better than any of the family owned coffee shops in my city and will continue to go there. I'm all for small businesses, but...starbucks!

Oh also, on the topic of animals, I would never leave my dog alone with the baby. She is the best dog ever, but some dogs have breaking points.

Oh another also, did you know that no kill shelters can technically kill 10% of their animals and still be considered no kill? I used to work at a shelter that wasn't considered no kill. Their rate was just 2% but they didn't want to be classified as no kill because it is a really big misnomer. So, please, consider all shelters!

ETF wording

LadySamLady · November 2015

@AliciaD39 this is why parents need to teach their kids!! It drives me crazy because if something does happen, the dog ends up getting punished and often euthanized - when the whole situation could have easily been prevented.

businessmama · November 2015

@LadySamLady Amen sister.

He is a terrier, so pretty small, but I love pits and I know if it would have been my lab/pit mix, he would have automatically been put on the list.

saltedcaramel518 · November 2015

This is unpopular here in the South: I'm all for a cute little bow in a baby girl's hair, but hate the GIANT bows/headbands that are very disproportionate to their heads.

kami09 · November 2015

To the animal posts...I'll take it an unpopular step forward and say I don't even like animals.

About not commenting on others UOs....pllllleease. This is the most "drama" we ever have! Lol... not that I love drama. But I enjoy a bit...

yogahh · November 2015

kami09 said:

To the animal posts...I'll take it an unpopular step forward and say I don't even like animals. About not commenting on others UOs....pllllleease. This is the most "drama" we ever have! Lol... not that I love drama. But I enjoy a bit...

Agreed!!! I think its healthy to have these little debates, and to maybe see something in another way. I don't think anything has ever been SOOOOO outragrous that it caused too much drama. Except for maybe that one random poster that thought every woman should be a SAHM. What happened to her?

Bluejay3030 · November 2015

It mortifies me that people would let young kids mess with random dogs. My DD loves dogs, but I am as serious about teaching her to never go near a dog without my permission as I am about her never going into the street unless she's holding my hand.

countrygrl5533 · November 2015

bshurdy said:

This is unpopular here in the South: I'm all for a cute little bow in a baby girl's hair, but hate the GIANT bows/headbands that are very disproportionate to their heads.

Yup. I have an Etsy shop and one of the main things I sell is baby headbands. Simple headbands because I cannot stand the over the top huge ones. I think babies look silly in them.

TXmamatobe · November 2015

bshurdy said:
This is unpopular here in the South: I'm all for a cute little bow in a baby girl's hair, but hate the GIANT bows/headbands that are very disproportionate to their heads.

I so agree with this. And those HORRIBLE ruffled bell bottom pants I've been seeing on little girls. Barf.

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