Showers and the like have always been a hot topic for some reason.
I'm with the general consensus here. I'm totally fine with a mom having a shower/sprinkle/sip and see as long as she isn't the one throwing it herself. Every baby should be celebrated, IMO.
We had both a shower and a sip and see with DD. Our church shower was small since we were fairly new to the congregation and I really wasn't expecting it. After DD was born I traveled back to my hometown when she was a month old so my whole family could see and meet her. That shower was a little bit bigger and we were able to get things that we didn't get even think to put on our registry. I honestly loved the sip and see so much more because everyone was excited to see and meet a new baby.
2 angel babies to watch over us- bfp 3/16/13, c/p 3/27/13- bfp 6/27/13, c/p confirmed 7/4/13- We will always carry you in our hearts
My oldest and only child is 6 years old and I am preggo agian so there's stuff I need and if people wanted to throw me a shower I any kind I would be so appreciative. BUT I would not throw it myself!
So what's the general consensus on this situation... My DH has three children from a previous marriage. His youngest is 9. However, this is our first baby together. Is it appropriate for us to accept a shower if someone offers?
Id say yes of course you can have a shower! You've never had one and I'm sure your friends and family will be excited to throw you one! You definitely should
Maybe it's just the way I was raised but "there's stuff I need" doesn't seem like a legitimate reason for any gift oriented party, the people who give you things should do it because they want to, not because they were roped into it for a party or got an invitation and couldn't come (my MIL did that for my bridal shower, invited family from across the country so that they would send something since they couldn't come. I was not amused). When you have a child, you are responsible for purchasing the required items for the baby, it isn't up to friends or family to buy you things (unless you have extenuating circumstances like unexpected multiples, then assistance is a bit more warranted, but still not expected).
Personally, I have already told my mother that if she gets wind of a shower to make it clear that I am not interested. I got married in June and friends and family just gifted us with all sorts of items and money for that, I wouldn't feel comfortable having yet another me-centered gift giving party within a year of my bridal shower. If friends and family want to purchase items outside the context of a shower, that's fine, but obligating them to purchase something for a shower is a bit much. Just my opinion of course.
I think that sprinkles are super appropriate especially if your first born was a boy or girl and you second child is the opposite sex. But in general I have nothing against sprinkles, gifts or no gifts. Every baby should be celebrated. That's just like saying children should only have one birthday party in their life. Just don't throw it yourself!
Married: August 2012
TTC #1: July 2015
BFP 1: October 30, 2015; EDD: July 6, 2016- Team Pink
I'm not sure of my opinion of a sprinkle, having just been invited to my first one ever for my SIL. I did, however, tell my MIL afterward that I DO NOT want a baby shower. I also didn't want a bridal shower. My sister threw me a small bridal shower where we all got mani/pedis and got to chat the day before the wedding. I don't know how I feel about forcing people to buy me gifts. I feel the same way about adult birthday parties. Just no. I also struggle in general with having a bunch of people looking at me and being the center of attention, so that might be the biggest factor in my hesitance.
I'm not sure of my opinion of a sprinkle, having just been invited to my first one ever for my SIL. I did, however, tell my MIL afterward that I DO NOT want a baby shower. I also didn't want a bridal shower. My sister threw me a small bridal shower where we all got mani/pedis and got to chat the day before the wedding. I don't know how I feel about forcing people to buy me gifts. I feel the same way about adult birthday parties. Just no. I also struggle in general with having a bunch of people looking at me and being the center of attention, so that might be the biggest factor in my hesitance.
Glad I'm not the only one who isn't a fan of being the center of attention or forcing people to buy you things. My mom totally understood when I told her but I guarantee my MIL is going to be flabbergasted and maybe even upset that there isn't a shower for her grand baby. Oh well.
I didn't have a shower with my first because he came early, the week before my small shower would have been, and it was canceled. Those who wanted to, sent/brought their gifts anyway. Others didn't. We went to Target one afternoon and bought what we needed from our registry while our son was in the NICU.
Now we have just about everything we need. Even if we had already sold it all, I refuse to have a shower or sprinkle or whatever for number two because we are fortunate to not need any help providing for our very much planned children and because traditionally showers are for helping "new" parents. Doesn't matter if it's a girl. Doesn't matter if we need diapers. They are an expected expense with kids, like food and laundry detergent and a bigger electric bill. They are not a reason to have a party with specific gifts required for attendance (especially gifts intended to be shit on). If my friends want to celebrate my pregnancy, we can go out for a meal or pedicures together. If they want to give baby a gift, they can bring one when they first meet it. I won't have anyone asked for a gift on my behalf via a shower invitation.
I think that if someone wants to throw a "Sprinkle" for someone else that is perfectly fine. If I were hosting one for someone I would keep it small and down to just very close friends and family. I would find it more appropriate if there was a large age gap OR having a baby of the opposite gender. A friend of mine hosted one for someone because she was having a girl the second time, I thought it was a sweet gesture.
I think it's sad that so many first thoughts about a shower are the gifts. A shower is about celebrating the hard-ass work of motherhood and celebrating a new life. Gifts are the way we tend to "celebrate" in western culture but are not actually what these are ABOUT. At least they shouldn't be. I have attended and thrown showers and sprinkles for many friends and I love them! Getting together and celebrating is awesome.
I would personally prefer a blessingway this time...but if friends threw a shower for this baby I would love it too. Gifts or not!
For those that think sprinkles are acceptable if having a baby of the opposite sex, may I ask why? Why does that matter?
Probably so they can replace all those horrible "Mommy's Little Princess" onesies with terrible "Daddy's Little Slugger" onesies. God forbid a baby not have the proper cisgendered clothing.
For those that think sprinkles are acceptable if having a baby of the opposite sex, may I ask why? Why does that matter?
Agreed. My mom didn't bother getting new sleep clothes or stuff to wear at home, she just dressed my brother in the same pink stuff I was dressed in unless they were actually going somewhere. He didn't care and it saved my parents a nice bit of money. He had some boy colored slee stuff but most of that was gifts from close family who just wanted to get them something nice. No need for a whole new wardrobe, especially the smaller sizes where they don't really go out much.
I'm lost ... In my neck of the woods a sprinkle is not for A second baby but rather if the baby is the opposite gender then the first child .... ie... Son first then having a daughter.... I personally love it cause I celebrate a friends awesome news and who doesn't enjoy baby gift shopping!! But I never had a first shower and don't plan on having one with this one ... I don't have someone close enough that is in the position to do so and I hate attention on me
A friend offered to throw me a shower if I have a boy or a "sprinkle" if I have a girl. (I have a DD). They don't bother me. I just think of them as smaller and more low key. I think the idea is wanting to celebrate the baby regardless. I would probably have the friend specify diapers only. Shrug.
Me: 29 / Hubster: 31 Married July 2010 DC #1 Oct 2013 DC #2 EDD June 2016
I think it's sad that so many first thoughts about a shower are the gifts.
Because that's what they were (and mostly still are) originally/traditionally for. Showering a new bride or new mother with gifts to help her set up her household at a time (starting a couple hundred years ago) when brides and mothers were usually young and often not financially firmly in their feet yet. Thus the name "shower". Gifts are generally expected from everyone who attends and registries for gifts are the norm. A party where gifts aren't expected isn't called a shower specifically to avoid the confusion.
@Love4Labs326@Sgoldberg247
Some people at my work recently had a baby shower for a coworker/grandmother to be. I thought it was the oddest, tackiest thing. Maybe if I had met the mother to be it would be different, but then why not just invite the grandmother's friends to the shower? Needless to say, I didn't participate.
Wait...so they throw a shower for the grandmother to be??? What does this all entail and am I the only one in the dark here?!?
TTC #1 Since May 2011 ~ Everyone Welcome
Me (34): DOR d/t chemo/radiation, Immature Endometrial Lining, Hypothyroidism
DH (35): MFI d/t testicular torsion and removal, Low T, Oligospermia, Anti-Sperm Antibodies, Currently on T supplements Sept '11-April '13 ~ Testing, failed multiple MFI treatments, saving & TONS of praying January 2014 ~ IVF/ICSI & PGS ~ no response to stims ~ converted to IUI ~ BFN February 2014 ~ On to donor embyros ~ 5 blasts!!! March 2014 ~ FET #1 ~ Transferred 2 blasts ~ BFN July 2014 ~ Kliman's mock cycle with endometrial function test Sample too small for EFT, HE slide showed immature cells New protocol planned, saving for another biopsy for EFT January 2015 ~ Considering adoption options April 2015 ~ Privately arranged adoption of planned pregnancy DD#1 ~ Lillyana Violet Marie born 6/15/16, Finalized adoption 12/20/16 July 13, 2018 ~ BFP....WTF?!?! 7/16 Beta #1 ~ 466...7/18 Beta #2 ~ 1,077...7/23 Beta #3 ~ 5,291 7/23 US #1 ~ 1 gestational sac seen and yolk sac 7/30 US #2 and 1st OB appt ~ 1 perfectly round gestational sac, 1 perfect yolk sac and 1 teeny tiny heart beat seen!!!
@Love4Labs326@Sgoldberg247 Some people at my work recently had a baby shower for a coworker/grandmother to be. I thought it was the oddest, tackiest thing. Maybe if I had met the mother to be it would be different, but then why not just invite the grandmother's friends to the shower? Needless to say, I didn't participate.
Wait...so they throw a shower for the grandmother to be??? What does this all entail and am I the only one in the dark here?!?
I looked it up because I was shocked. Essentially its a mini baby shower so the grandma-to-be can stock her house with baby stuff for when their grandchild visits. What I don't get is why its necessary. When we do go to visit, we plan to bring a pack-and-play and enough diapers and other goods for the baby. I don't need my mom to have a crib and burp cloths and blankets and clothes at her house, I'm fully capable of bringing them and we won't be there THAT often that it'll get much of any use.
@Love4Labs326@Sgoldberg247
Some people at my work recently had a baby shower for a coworker/grandmother to be. I thought it was the oddest, tackiest thing. Maybe if I had met the mother to be it would be different, but then why not just invite the grandmother's friends to the shower? Needless to say, I didn't participate.
Wait...so they throw a shower for the grandmother to be??? What does this all entail and am I the only one in the dark here?!?
I looked it up because I was shocked. Essentially its a mini baby shower so the grandma-to-be can stock her house with baby stuff for when their grandchild visits. What I don't get is why its necessary. When we do go to visit, we plan to bring a pack-and-play and enough diapers and other goods for the baby. I don't need my mom to have a crib and burp cloths and blankets and clothes at her house, I'm fully capable of bringing them and we won't be there THAT often that it'll get much of any use.
WOW! I don't even know how to respond. People really do that?!?! I think that is so inappropriate. If my baby is going to grandma's, I'm bringing what grandma needs.
TTC #1 Since May 2011 ~ Everyone Welcome
Me (34): DOR d/t chemo/radiation, Immature Endometrial Lining, Hypothyroidism
DH (35): MFI d/t testicular torsion and removal, Low T, Oligospermia, Anti-Sperm Antibodies, Currently on T supplements Sept '11-April '13 ~ Testing, failed multiple MFI treatments, saving & TONS of praying January 2014 ~ IVF/ICSI & PGS ~ no response to stims ~ converted to IUI ~ BFN February 2014 ~ On to donor embyros ~ 5 blasts!!! March 2014 ~ FET #1 ~ Transferred 2 blasts ~ BFN July 2014 ~ Kliman's mock cycle with endometrial function test Sample too small for EFT, HE slide showed immature cells New protocol planned, saving for another biopsy for EFT January 2015 ~ Considering adoption options April 2015 ~ Privately arranged adoption of planned pregnancy DD#1 ~ Lillyana Violet Marie born 6/15/16, Finalized adoption 12/20/16 July 13, 2018 ~ BFP....WTF?!?! 7/16 Beta #1 ~ 466...7/18 Beta #2 ~ 1,077...7/23 Beta #3 ~ 5,291 7/23 US #1 ~ 1 gestational sac seen and yolk sac 7/30 US #2 and 1st OB appt ~ 1 perfectly round gestational sac, 1 perfect yolk sac and 1 teeny tiny heart beat seen!!!
@Love4Labs326@Sgoldberg247 Some people at my work recently had a baby shower for a coworker/grandmother to be. I thought it was the oddest, tackiest thing. Maybe if I had met the mother to be it would be different, but then why not just invite the grandmother's friends to the shower? Needless to say, I didn't participate.
Wait...so they throw a shower for the grandmother to be??? What does this all entail and am I the only one in the dark here?!?
I looked it up because I was shocked. Essentially its a mini baby shower so the grandma-to-be can stock her house with baby stuff for when their grandchild visits. What I don't get is why its necessary. When we do go to visit, we plan to bring a pack-and-play and enough diapers and other goods for the baby. I don't need my mom to have a crib and burp cloths and blankets and clothes at her house, I'm fully capable of bringing them and we won't be there THAT often that it'll get much of any use.
WOW! I don't even know how to respond. People really do that?!?! I think that is so inappropriate. If my baby is going to grandma's, I'm bringing what grandma needs.
Yuuupppp. It apparently started due to many grandmas being day-care for their grand babies in recent years and turned into the newest trend (according to various internet sites about being a grandparent).
@Love4Labs326@Sgoldberg247 Some people at my work recently had a baby shower for a coworker/grandmother to be. I thought it was the oddest, tackiest thing. Maybe if I had met the mother to be it would be different, but then why not just invite the grandmother's friends to the shower? Needless to say, I didn't participate.
Wait...so they throw a shower for the grandmother to be??? What does this all entail and am I the only one in the dark here?!?
I looked it up because I was shocked. Essentially its a mini baby shower so the grandma-to-be can stock her house with baby stuff for when their grandchild visits. What I don't get is why its necessary. When we do go to visit, we plan to bring a pack-and-play and enough diapers and other goods for the baby. I don't need my mom to have a crib and burp cloths and blankets and clothes at her house, I'm fully capable of bringing them and we won't be there THAT often that it'll get much of any use.
WOW! I don't even know how to respond. People really do that?!?! I think that is so inappropriate. If my baby is going to grandma's, I'm bringing what grandma needs.
Yuuupppp. It apparently started due to many grandmas being day-care for their grand babies in recent years and turned into the newest trend (according to various internet sites about being a grandparent).
If grandma is your daycare provider YOU should provide any daily essentials that need to be at her house. I'm sure she's already giving you a great rate. Seems like the least you could do.
My MILs book club friends threw her a Grandma-to-be shower. It was adorable. They showered her with kids books (those were her only gifts - again I think this is cute because it was her book club), so there was plenty to read when my DS went to visit. I thought it was the sweetest gesture, and she is blessed to have such wonderful friends.
My MILs book club friends threw her a Grandma-to-be shower. It was adorable. They showered her with kids books (those were her only gifts - again I think this is cute because it was her book club), so there was plenty to read when my DS went to visit. I thought it was the sweetest gesture, and she is blessed to have such wonderful friends.
This sounds cute. I actually think if my mom's friends wanted to throw her a little shower that would be sweet.
My MILs book club friends threw her a Grandma-to-be shower. It was adorable. They showered her with kids books (those were her only gifts - again I think this is cute because it was her book club), so there was plenty to read when my DS went to visit. I thought it was the sweetest gesture, and she is blessed to have such wonderful friends.
That's different than the crazyness that the alleged new "trend" is. The ones I read about were giving diapers, blankets, bibs, clothes etc, items that are cute but totally not needed at grandmas house. Books, especially from a book club, is different.
I love sprinkles! I hosted one for my sister last year. She was on her third baby, but first girl. It was a small group of friends, and people brought her smaller gifts that were very PINK I have to say, until reading this thread I have never realized there were so many women out there against showers! Makes me sad. I love going and contributing something a new mom needs and celebrating her! Of course unless they host it themselves.... That IS bizarre
I recently attended a baby shower for a relative who gave the shower herself. She also has a 2 year old. The rest of the family and I did not even realize until we arrived that she was throwing this shower for herself, and we were all already taken aback by the assumption that she was allowing someone to throw her a shower to begin with. It was pretty horrific.
In my circle a shower is a big event where lots of friends & family, even coworkers, could be invited to celebrate the coming baby - gifts are definitely more grand. "Sprinkles" are common as well, but mostly just for close family, (i.e sisters/cousins/in laws etc.) and gifts aren't as extravagant but are definitely still part of the gathering. Neither is ever thrown by the mother to be herself... usually by the Mom or sisters. I have no problem attending a sprinkle, after all like a PP said - why shouldn't the 2nd (or 3rd!) baby be celebrated?
How can a baby be celebrated if the baby is not in attendance?
Showers are to welcome a woman to motherhood with gifts she'll use for her baby.
If you want to celebrate the new addition, it would make sense if the new addition were there. Which is why many people suggest s Sip and See so that friends and family can meet the baby and celebrate.
Yeah... I don't understand the notion that no shower = not celebrating the baby. Frankly, it comes across as rather condescending (to me at least) to suggest that just because a person doesn't want a shower, they don't care to celebrate their baby.
ETA: words are hard.
June 2016 April Siggy Challenge: Reasons my kid is crying
How can a baby be celebrated if the baby is not in attendance?
Showers are to welcome a woman to motherhood with gifts she'll use for her baby.
If you want to celebrate the new addition, it would make sense if the new addition were there. Which is why many people suggest s Sip and See so that friends and family can meet the baby and celebrate.
To me this makes no sense. Of course you can celebrate someone or something that is not in attendance. You celebrate your favorite sports victories in your home. No team present. You celebrate someone life at a funeral. They are dead. You celebrate birthday and anniversaries of loved ones, and maybe they live far away. You celebrate a lot of things that can't even take a physical forms. Promotions. Good news. Acing a class. You can absolutely celebrate a baby before the baby is born. That baby is a living, kicking, growing inside of a beautiful mama. You can ALSO celebrate the baby after they arrive. But I believe you can most definitely celebrate a baby before they are born.
These peaked in trendiness years ago, but I guess a gender reveal party would be a way to celebrate the baby without making people feel like you're asking for a gift.
Haha every single time (now 3 times) I am a part of a bump board, this topic is so hot. My opinion: every baby should be celebrated. Have a party! Enjoy! A new life is the most worthy thing I can think of to gather together and smile and celebrate! Whatever you call that- shower, sprinkle whatever- it's just a celebration. NOW as far as gifts go. Isn't it ALWAYS tacky to EXPECT gifts? I mean- even a first time shower---having a shower JUST for the EXPECTATION that people will/should spend money on you is tacky in general. INVITING people to celebrate and giving people an opportunity to give a gift if they so desire, that's different. All of that aside, my friends threw me a "sprinkle" with my second baby to celebrate and they asked me what I needed IF ANYONE ASKED about what I needed. The only thing I really "needed" or registered for was my double stroller- WHICH I registered for to get the discount- I fully planned on buying it myself. I did not register to pass out the memo to anyone to check a registry for me. Anyway- IF ANYONE ASKED about what they could get me, my friends let them know I was saving for a stroller so some of my CLOSE friends/family gave me cards with some money towards it. I find that different parts of the country have different traditions on second, third, etc showers. For instance, I have seen showers for the third child if it's the first girl (and people love to buy all the cute clothes, etc) In general- My opinion is: life is hard--- we should celebrate as much as possible. Gift giving is a blessing to me, the giver, when I am invited to a shower/sprinkle. I love opportunities to give gifts to others- that doesn't have to mean spending money. Finally- the only rule... Don't plan one for yourself. If no one has a sprinkle for you and you want a sprinkle because you are desperate for baby stuff- check in with a kids consignment shop- they have lots of awesome stuff that can be nearly brand new. Go with your friends and make it a fun hunt for what you are looking for. If you want a sprinkle because you are desperate for attention, I get it.. Being a mom can mean a lack of attention in general or lack of enough positive attention when babies/toddlers are taking it all. But maybe you just need a night out with your friends/hubby- eat a cupcake, buy a balloon. Celebrate.
My MILs book club friends threw her a Grandma-to-be shower. It was adorable. They showered her with kids books (those were her only gifts - again I think this is cute because it was her book club), so there was plenty to read when my DS went to visit. I thought it was the sweetest gesture, and she is blessed to have such wonderful friends.
This sounds cute. I actually think if my mom's friends wanted to throw her a little shower that would be sweet.
I agree with this. It is very cute. It would be so sweet to have a group of my mother's friend "shower" her with books that she could read to her grandchild. But the whole "Grandmother's shower" where she gets all kinds of items I disagree with.
TTC #1 Since May 2011 ~ Everyone Welcome
Me (34): DOR d/t chemo/radiation, Immature Endometrial Lining, Hypothyroidism
DH (35): MFI d/t testicular torsion and removal, Low T, Oligospermia, Anti-Sperm Antibodies, Currently on T supplements Sept '11-April '13 ~ Testing, failed multiple MFI treatments, saving & TONS of praying January 2014 ~ IVF/ICSI & PGS ~ no response to stims ~ converted to IUI ~ BFN February 2014 ~ On to donor embyros ~ 5 blasts!!! March 2014 ~ FET #1 ~ Transferred 2 blasts ~ BFN July 2014 ~ Kliman's mock cycle with endometrial function test Sample too small for EFT, HE slide showed immature cells New protocol planned, saving for another biopsy for EFT January 2015 ~ Considering adoption options April 2015 ~ Privately arranged adoption of planned pregnancy DD#1 ~ Lillyana Violet Marie born 6/15/16, Finalized adoption 12/20/16 July 13, 2018 ~ BFP....WTF?!?! 7/16 Beta #1 ~ 466...7/18 Beta #2 ~ 1,077...7/23 Beta #3 ~ 5,291 7/23 US #1 ~ 1 gestational sac seen and yolk sac 7/30 US #2 and 1st OB appt ~ 1 perfectly round gestational sac, 1 perfect yolk sac and 1 teeny tiny heart beat seen!!!
Haha every single time (now 3 times) I am a part of a bump board, this topic is so hot. My opinion: every baby should be celebrated. Have a party! Enjoy! A new life is the most worthy thing I can think of to gather together and smile and celebrate! Whatever you call that- shower, sprinkle whatever- it's just a celebration. NOW as far as gifts go. Isn't it ALWAYS tacky to EXPECT gifts? I mean- even a first time shower---having a shower JUST for the EXPECTATION that people will/should spend money on you is tacky in general. INVITING people to celebrate and giving people an opportunity to give a gift if they so desire, that's different. All of that aside, my friends threw me a "sprinkle" with my second baby to celebrate and they asked me what I needed IF ANYONE ASKED about what I needed. The only thing I really "needed" or registered for was my double stroller- WHICH I registered for to get the discount- I fully planned on buying it myself. I did not register to pass out the memo to anyone to check a registry for me. Anyway- IF ANYONE ASKED about what they could get me, my friends let them know I was saving for a stroller so some of my CLOSE friends/family gave me cards with some money towards it. I find that different parts of the country have different traditions on second, third, etc showers. For instance, I have seen showers for the third child if it's the first girl (and people love to buy all the cute clothes, etc) In general- My opinion is: life is hard--- we should celebrate as much as possible. Gift giving is a blessing to me, the giver, when I am invited to a shower/sprinkle. I love opportunities to give gifts to others- that doesn't have to mean spending money. Finally- the only rule... Don't plan one for yourself. If no one has a sprinkle for you and you want a sprinkle because you are desperate for baby stuff- check in with a kids consignment shop- they have lots of awesome stuff that can be nearly brand new. Go with your friends and make it a fun hunt for what you are looking for. If you want a sprinkle because you are desperate for attention, I get it.. Being a mom can mean a lack of attention in general or lack of enough positive attention when babies/toddlers are taking it all. But maybe you just need a night out with your friends/hubby- eat a cupcake, buy a balloon. Celebrate.
Of course you think they aren't tacky. You directly benefited from your sprinkle.
? Did i have a choice whether I benefited or not? The sprinkles purpose was to "sprinkle" love and celebration on my sons life by my "tribe" of support... Not material possessions. They did not write to bring me anything on the invitation- in fact I think it specially said that gifts are not necessary (in more pleasant words than that). It's sad that celebrations of these little lives are immediately judged as traditions of materialism. Can we change that? I would like to. (And as a sidenote: I received about $40 towards a $550 stroller.it was a wonderful blessing--- but by no means was my "benefit" driving my opinion on whether or not sprinkles should happen.)
How can a baby be celebrated if the baby is not in attendance?
Showers are to welcome a woman to motherhood with gifts she'll use for her baby.
If you want to celebrate the new addition, it would make sense if the new addition were there. Which is why many people suggest s Sip and See so that friends and family can meet the baby and celebrate.
To me this makes no sense. Of course you can celebrate someone or something that is not in attendance. You celebrate your favorite sports victories in your home. No team present. You celebrate someone life at a funeral. They are dead. You celebrate birthday and anniversaries of loved ones, and maybe they live far away. You celebrate a lot of things that can't even take a physical forms. Promotions. Good news. Acing a class. You can absolutely celebrate a baby before the baby is born. That baby is a living, kicking, growing inside of a beautiful mama. You can ALSO celebrate the baby after they arrive. But I believe you can most definitely celebrate a baby before they are born.
If someone is celebrating my birthday without me being there, it's not actually celebrating my birthday, it's an excuse to drink/eat cake.
I'm with the anti-sprinkle group. If your kids are more than 5 years apart (or whatever number you think is appropriate) and you need stuff, just have a full fledged shower. The point is to shower the mother with the things the baby will need.
aiellomp - I would love a sip 'n see. My MIL threw a post baby shower for DD. It was mostly her friends/family, people that were more interested in seeing the baby than my bump. My only request was that it was after her 2 month shots, so her immune system was stronger.
To celebrate this baby, I wouldn't mind having a sip 'n see. More emphasis on the baby. Gifts aren't necessary.
Oh that's a tough one! I think it would be ok especially if they are different genders. Either way you and you're family/ friends are celebrating your little one!
How can a baby be celebrated if the baby is not in attendance?
Showers are to welcome a woman to motherhood with gifts she'll use for her baby.
If you want to celebrate the new addition, it would make sense if the new addition were there. Which is why many people suggest s Sip and See so that friends and family can meet the baby and celebrate.
To me this makes no sense. Of course you can celebrate someone or something that is not in attendance. You celebrate your favorite sports victories in your home. No team present. You celebrate someone life at a funeral. They are dead. You celebrate birthday and anniversaries of loved ones, and maybe they live far away. You celebrate a lot of things that can't even take a physical forms. Promotions. Good news. Acing a class. You can absolutely celebrate a baby before the baby is born. That baby is a living, kicking, growing inside of a beautiful mama. You can ALSO celebrate the baby after they arrive. But I believe you can most definitely celebrate a baby before they are born.
But celebrating those events do not require holding a gift giving party. For some reason, it seems like people can't celebrate a baby without it becoming about presents. Which is poor form in my opinion for babies after the first.
And I agree with PP, to suggest that not celebrating each child with a shower means that baby isn't as special as the first is not only ridiculous but hurtful.
Everyone loves a new baby but not everyone loves being asked to purchase a gift/attend a shower for each child you(general you) chose to create.
It is possibly to celebrate a new baby without having a shower.
I'm still waiting for someone to answer my question as to why the sex of the baby matters when it comes to subsequent showers.
I'm also still not sure why the gender matters. Are you less deserving if you're team green? I think it's just how people justify it.
I'm in a little pickle with this whole shower/sprinkle thing. I do NOT want one at all. I was married before and have three kids. I am currently remarried and this is my husbands first. His mother ( I love her dearly) is persistent about throwing a shower even though I told her no. She did it for our wedding, I know she will do it for the baby. I do not want one at all! I feel so awkward about it. What do you do in that situation? Ughh I'm dreading it!!
Re: Sprinkle?
I'm with the general consensus here. I'm totally fine with a mom having a shower/sprinkle/sip and see as long as she isn't the one throwing it herself. Every baby should be celebrated, IMO.
We had both a shower and a sip and see with DD. Our church shower was small since we were fairly new to the congregation and I really wasn't expecting it. After DD was born I traveled back to my hometown when she was a month old so my whole family could see and meet her. That shower was a little bit bigger and we were able to get things that we didn't get even think to put on our registry. I honestly loved the sip and see so much more because everyone was excited to see and meet a new baby.
2 angel babies to watch over us- bfp 3/16/13, c/p 3/27/13- bfp 6/27/13, c/p confirmed 7/4/13- We will always carry you in our hearts
Mommy to our princess warrior- 3/4/09
Personally, I have already told my mother that if she gets wind of a shower to make it clear that I am not interested. I got married in June and friends and family just gifted us with all sorts of items and money for that, I wouldn't feel comfortable having yet another me-centered gift giving party within a year of my bridal shower. If friends and family want to purchase items outside the context of a shower, that's fine, but obligating them to purchase something for a shower is a bit much. Just my opinion of course.
Now we have just about everything we need. Even if we had already sold it all, I refuse to have a shower or sprinkle or whatever for number two because we are fortunate to not need any help providing for our very much planned children and because traditionally showers are for helping "new" parents. Doesn't matter if it's a girl. Doesn't matter if we need diapers. They are an expected expense with kids, like food and laundry detergent and a bigger electric bill. They are not a reason to have a party with specific gifts required for attendance (especially gifts intended to be shit on). If my friends want to celebrate my pregnancy, we can go out for a meal or pedicures together. If they want to give baby a gift, they can bring one when they first meet it. I won't have anyone asked for a gift on my behalf via a shower invitation.
I would personally prefer a blessingway this time...but if friends threw a shower for this baby I would love it too. Gifts or not!
Probably so they can replace all those horrible "Mommy's Little Princess" onesies with terrible "Daddy's Little Slugger" onesies. God forbid a baby not have the proper cisgendered clothing.
Me: 29 / Hubster: 31
Married July 2010
DC #1 Oct 2013
DC #2 EDD June 2016
Sept '11-April '13 ~ Testing, failed multiple MFI treatments, saving & TONS of praying
January 2014 ~ IVF/ICSI & PGS ~ no response to stims ~ converted to IUI ~ BFN
February 2014 ~ On to donor embyros ~ 5 blasts!!!
March 2014 ~ FET #1 ~ Transferred 2 blasts ~ BFN
July 2014 ~ Kliman's mock cycle with endometrial function test
Sample too small for EFT, HE slide showed immature cells
New protocol planned, saving for another biopsy for EFT
January 2015 ~ Considering adoption options
April 2015 ~ Privately arranged adoption of planned pregnancy
DD#1 ~ Lillyana Violet Marie born 6/15/16, Finalized adoption 12/20/16
July 13, 2018 ~ BFP....WTF?!?!
7/16 Beta #1 ~ 466...7/18 Beta #2 ~ 1,077...7/23 Beta #3 ~ 5,291
7/23 US #1 ~ 1 gestational sac seen and yolk sac
7/30 US #2 and 1st OB appt ~ 1 perfectly round gestational sac, 1 perfect yolk sac and 1 teeny tiny heart beat seen!!!
I looked it up because I was shocked. Essentially its a mini baby shower so the grandma-to-be can stock her house with baby stuff for when their grandchild visits. What I don't get is why its necessary. When we do go to visit, we plan to bring a pack-and-play and enough diapers and other goods for the baby. I don't need my mom to have a crib and burp cloths and blankets and clothes at her house, I'm fully capable of bringing them and we won't be there THAT often that it'll get much of any use.
Sept '11-April '13 ~ Testing, failed multiple MFI treatments, saving & TONS of praying
January 2014 ~ IVF/ICSI & PGS ~ no response to stims ~ converted to IUI ~ BFN
February 2014 ~ On to donor embyros ~ 5 blasts!!!
March 2014 ~ FET #1 ~ Transferred 2 blasts ~ BFN
July 2014 ~ Kliman's mock cycle with endometrial function test
Sample too small for EFT, HE slide showed immature cells
New protocol planned, saving for another biopsy for EFT
January 2015 ~ Considering adoption options
April 2015 ~ Privately arranged adoption of planned pregnancy
DD#1 ~ Lillyana Violet Marie born 6/15/16, Finalized adoption 12/20/16
July 13, 2018 ~ BFP....WTF?!?!
7/16 Beta #1 ~ 466...7/18 Beta #2 ~ 1,077...7/23 Beta #3 ~ 5,291
7/23 US #1 ~ 1 gestational sac seen and yolk sac
7/30 US #2 and 1st OB appt ~ 1 perfectly round gestational sac, 1 perfect yolk sac and 1 teeny tiny heart beat seen!!!
Yuuupppp. It apparently started due to many grandmas being day-care for their grand babies in recent years and turned into the newest trend (according to various internet sites about being a grandparent).
Yuuupppp. It apparently started due to many grandmas being day-care for their grand babies in recent years and turned into the newest trend (according to various internet sites about being a grandparent).
If grandma is your daycare provider YOU should provide any daily essentials that need to be at her house. I'm sure she's already giving you a great rate. Seems like the least you could do.
DST T4L
This sounds cute. I actually think if my mom's friends wanted to throw her a little shower that would be sweet.DST T4L
Sept '11-April '13 ~ Testing, failed multiple MFI treatments, saving & TONS of praying
January 2014 ~ IVF/ICSI & PGS ~ no response to stims ~ converted to IUI ~ BFN
February 2014 ~ On to donor embyros ~ 5 blasts!!!
March 2014 ~ FET #1 ~ Transferred 2 blasts ~ BFN
July 2014 ~ Kliman's mock cycle with endometrial function test
Sample too small for EFT, HE slide showed immature cells
New protocol planned, saving for another biopsy for EFT
January 2015 ~ Considering adoption options
April 2015 ~ Privately arranged adoption of planned pregnancy
DD#1 ~ Lillyana Violet Marie born 6/15/16, Finalized adoption 12/20/16
July 13, 2018 ~ BFP....WTF?!?!
7/16 Beta #1 ~ 466...7/18 Beta #2 ~ 1,077...7/23 Beta #3 ~ 5,291
7/23 US #1 ~ 1 gestational sac seen and yolk sac
7/30 US #2 and 1st OB appt ~ 1 perfectly round gestational sac, 1 perfect yolk sac and 1 teeny tiny heart beat seen!!!
If someone is celebrating my birthday without me being there, it's not actually celebrating my birthday, it's an excuse to drink/eat cake.
And I agree with PP, to suggest that not celebrating each child with a shower means that baby isn't as special as the first is not only ridiculous but hurtful.
Everyone loves a new baby but not everyone loves being asked to purchase a gift/attend a shower for each child you(general you) chose to create.
It is possibly to celebrate a new baby without having a shower.
I'm still waiting for someone to answer my question as to why the sex of the baby matters when it comes to subsequent showers.
I'm also still not sure why the gender matters. Are you less deserving if you're team green? I think it's just how people justify it.