Feeling unsexy :(

brittbee0715 · November 2015

So I am 35 weeks and recently started to get stretch marks. I knew they would come but I was not prepared for how many or where they are happening. It's making me feel ugly and it's starting to hurt. I haven't shown my husband cuz I'm afraid what he'll say or that he won't find me attractive anymore. How has your SO reacted to your stretch marks?

(Looking for positive uplifting stories, it's my own insecurities)

Thanks ladies!!

groovylocks · November 2015

This is a bit long but i hope it helps. It was very helpful for me and my body scrutiny a few years ago.

There was this documentary or something i saw awhile ago - a few years ago now, can't remember what it was. And these women who felt dumpy and unattractive because of cellulite and stretch marks and that sort of thing were asked to strip down to a bikini and film their bodies and then watch the film and judge what they see.

And the women were all like "Ew, cellulite." or "Stretch marks" or "flab" or "my thighs touch" or, in really sad cases, "See this is why my husband doesn't get to see me naked anymore"

So then they were asked if their videos could be shown to a bunch of men hand picked to participate. The women were scared but they decided to do it.

The men weren't given any context, just asked if they would talk about the women in the videos that they saw.

The comments were astonishing. The men said things like "Wow this is really hot" or "omg, she's 10/10" and that sort of thing. When they were asked what they thought about these women, some responded with "Is she an underwear model?"

They were then told the real reason for the videos and the men were honestly confused. They couldn't understand how these women felt badly about little tiny details when the overall package was so beautiful.

People see the opposite-sex body as an overall package (like when you see a hot guy, who cares that he has a pooch!) whereas people see the same-sex body as a series of details to be scrutinized or compared against what they have. It's probably evolutionary and has some rationality behind it but it sucks.

SarahFoley725 · November 2015

I'm sorry that you're feeling down about yourself. I started getting stretch marks at about 18 weeks so I know how you feel. My husband tells me I'm beautiful and he loves the proof of our growing little girl. He says it shows how tough and awesome I am. I certainly don't always feel that way either, but you can't hide them from your husband forever. This is your body now. You may think it sucks but you literally grew a life inside of you and that's crazy freaking awesome!

bntfroggie · November 2015

I haven't gotten stretch marks with baby yet, but I have them on my thighs from weight gain years ago and my breasts I can only describe as tiger striped when they decided to come in full force when I was in high school.

Anyway my husband loves me no matter what and it isn't about my looks or appearance, it is my brain and the fact that I am his best friend through thick and thin so if I come out with battle scars from our little one he will still love me just as much as he ever has.

Kiek · November 2015

Awe big hugs! I remember feeling like that during my first pregnancy. I was so sad all the time and we lived by the beach and my baby was due in the summer. I felt so awful and never told my husband how I felt and so he never even realized it was bothering me so much. Well fast forward to now. We have a two year old girl running around and I'm pretty big with this baby now. I was sitting in bed in my sports bra the other night and DH goes, "oh I guess you got some stretch marks this time." I was like....seriously...I got these with our first. I haven't gotten any new ones yet. He didn't believe me that I'd had stretch marks all over my belly for over two years now. I mean...I wore a bikini to the beach last year and he still didn't notice until the other night lol. I've grown to love my stretch marks because they are a part of the journey to our beautiful daughter and I don't want her to ever feel the way about her body that I felt about mine when I was pregnant with her. I know it's hard now, but your SO probably doesn't even notice and if he does, it's unlikely that he cares. You're growing a human and that is beautiful! You may even find yourself proud of those stretch marks some day

Krisdee123 · November 2015

kqualls5 · November 2015

The other night SO was complaining about his stretch marks on his side (he may have gained 15 pounds of sympathy weight lol) and I said "don't get me started" and he goes "you don't even have any, shut up." So. I really think we just pick things out about ourselves. We're our own worst critic in every aspect, sadly.

Growing a human is sexy as hell. We're doing something so magical and strong. If any man ever said something negative about what happens to our body during the process, he deserves to be punched or something.

Maybe go buy a cute bra & panty set to make you feel sexy, and own that mama to be body.

Kiek · November 2015

Right before I got pregnant with this baby I told DH how terrible I felt about myself my whole first pregnancy and he was so shocked. He goes, "you know, it's really sexy seeing your wife pregnant." Lol. So I guess it's no surprise it took the man over two years to notice I had any stretch marks lol.

fourtsixand2 · November 2015

I have to echo those who said their husbands find them incredibly attractive pregnant. Carrying a baby can take a toll on your body, but for our husbands, they see the woman they love carrying their child. It's a pretty amazing thing.

I know for me, personally, even when I feel 'gross' about my growing condition, my husband tells me how beautiful he thinks I am.

There are going to be times, even after birth, where you don't feel yourself, or you pick at the flaws you might've not had before you were pregnant, but remember the amazing life you helped create. THAT, in itself, is the most beautiful thing I think anyone can give.

cmerribury · November 2015

Stretchmarks suck. I know that some people will say they are your battle scars, etc...but honestly, I hate mine, too. My husband still finds me every bit as attractive as he did before, and they do fade (like, a lot) over several years. The worst reaction I got to mine was actually from my best friend...it was pretty upsetting. But, like every other change our bodies go through, there's nothing we can do about them. Think of your husband, surely he's not perfect, yet you love him and are attracted to him. He feels the same way, I assure you.

brittbee0715 · November 2015

Thank you all for your replies. It makes me feel so much better. Sometimes it seems like "you're the only one" but it's nice to know that I'm not.

bless all of you!

Gingermom15 · November 2015

SO actually started loving on my belly more after my stretch marks showed up. I mentioned one day how I hoped they would fade and he told me they were souvenirs from our baby. He certainly hasn't shown any less interest in me and they don't bother him in the least. My guess is your husband won't think any less of your body, he might even think more of it. It is giving him a child after all

Mousie93 · November 2015

I have stretch marks AND I got chicken pox at 31 weeks. Needless to say I have never felt less attractive in my whole life... Covered in gross pox, enormous belly, purple marks on my boobs, oddly sized nipples that were leaking, stretch marks on my butt and my sides... I cried and cried but my OH was so supportive and came and held me. I'm sure your partner will understand! My partner finds my temporary new body fascinating! And we are still having regular sex, which is great. The marks will fade, the tummy will shrink and you'll have a beautiful baby at the end of it. Being pregnant is the most amazing thing in the world, don't let your image get you down

kimkim86 · November 2015

First, you are doing the most sexy thing ever- creating human life! plus the marks disapear or at least fade

Want a personalized experience?

Feeling unsexy :(

Re: Feeling unsexy :(

Choose Another Board

Search Boards