Not finding out the sex of the baby!!! Letting it be a Surprise!!!

liz2005Aj · November 2015

Good morning,

So this is one of the hardest promises I've made & plan on keeping (Hubby isn't too happy with). But I made a promise to God not to find out the sex of the baby till delivery day. We've been trying for a few years & nothing. We have a 10year old son, we kind gave up in a way and excepted having only one child.
Now finding out that we are preggers I feel that is a promise I have to keep & always in the back of my mind.
I'm ok with it because I feel like I've waited long enough so waiting for delivery day isn't going to bother me... But, my husband isn't to thrilled with this news at all!!!
Sooo with that being said is there anyone else not finding out?!?!

CopperLane · November 2015

I'm sorry it took you so long to conceive your second. Is your husband religious? Does he understand your reasoning behind not finding out?

One of my best friends didn't find out with her kids and the hardest part of it was people giving her a hard time about wanting to know what the baby was. I feel like there is always something with other's pregnancies that friends/family feel entitled to. Whether it's sex, name, lifestyle, etc.

purplefan1 · November 2015

We plan on not finding out. Since it will (hopefully!) Be our first birth, we know that during delivery we won't care if it is a boy or a girl, we will just be so excited to have the new baby. But I've wondered if I found out early, if there wouldn't be some sense of loss for the other sex. Like, if I found out I was having a boy, mourn a bit for not having a girl, and vice versa. Plus, I agree with PP, people feel entitled to know info about your pregnancy! What is the gender, what is the name, let me tell you my opinion, etc. If we knew the sex early, people would be pressuring us to pick a name. Finally, I like more gender neutral things. I don't want my boy bombarded with sports stuff or my girl overwhelmed with link stuff. I enjoy the whole spectrum and don't want to get cornered in to any color scheme because society thinks boys=this and girls=that. Just my thoughts! It will DEFINITELY be hard though!!!

purplefan1 · November 2015

Pink stuff. Not link stuff. ;-)

shainaellis · November 2015

We didn't find out when I was pregnant with my daughter and we have decided not to find out this time around. it was so exciting to not know and I felt like I bonded with my baby on a whole different level. I enjoyed my pregnancy for what it was and wasn't so focused on what the gender was. Everyone is so different though! I know my husband was a super excited proud daddy when he could go into the waiting room and share with everyone that we just had a baby girl! There are very few surprises left in life, so enjoy this one

noslen0519 · November 2015

We aren't finding out! We were surprised the first time and plan to be again.

hockeyfan42 · November 2015

It's a surprise no matter when you find out.

That being said, we are waiting until delivery this time. I made sure to only register for gender neutral things the first time around, so we're all set either way.

Eta: words are hard

Emztron500 · November 2015

I found out with my first one. I obviously knew I would be thrilled with either a boy or girl but I also had to be honest with myself and say I was hoping for girl. I didn't want to deliver a baby and then deal with feelings of disappointment or guilt about it when I had a newborn. I figured if I found out early it would be easier for me to get excited about who my baby was beforehand. Now, because my first WAS a girl and I'm not having those feelings anymore, I thought it would be fun to leave it as a surprise. I'm finding it fun not knowing. A friend of mine told me the story of how when her first was born (at home with a midwife) it was her husband who held the baby, moved the umbilical cord, and announced that they had had a girl...it was a really special moment for him and he was super excited to do it for their second as well! I love that.

MynaBird · November 2015

We didn't find out with our first, and I'm so glad. Some people just could not wrap their minds around why we wouldn't find out (or they'd say things like "I'm such a planner, I had to know!"). I'm a planner, too, and not knowing the sex didn't stop me from putting together a beautiful nursery and a healthy wardrobe. As we told people, whether it's a boy or a girl, as soon as it's born, it will have people telling it how it should act and who it should be based on what's between its legs. We don't see any reason to give them a head start!

When she was born and our nurses shouted out "It's a girl!" -- that moment was so incredible.

liz2005Aj · November 2015

Thank you everyone for the kind words, it's going to be hard especially with family & Hubby not being on bored Completely. But we've waited this long, I'm just excited to have a baby in the house again! I'm happy to hear we are not alone with not knowing the sex of the baby!!
#TeamNeutral

Yoda923 · November 2015

Yea! Another large gap family!!
Not sure where the rest of my post went .... This was not all I said but I'll sum it up to we didn't know with the first and it was an incredible moment at her birth .... We could hear her cry before we even knew her gender....
Your promise to God is important and I get it.... Maybe during a later routine US your little one becomes an exibitionist and its plain to see and God shows you that way ☺️

carig63 · November 2015

We didn't find out with either of our previous two. It's an extra little something to call friends and family after delivery and say "It's a...!"

sunnihunni · November 2015

We are waiting to find out also!! Due the end of June

pkwest04 · November 2015

I'm super undecided about finding out or not. My husband absolutely wants to know as soon as possible...and I live him, but the man can't keep a secret. I knew he was proposing a month beforehand because he literally can't keep a secret. lol. I don't know if I should try to sway him to be surprised or just give up and let him find out the sex...then wait for him to crack. Maybe I can take bets with the family on how long it will take him. Extra money for nursery decorating!

on3in2015 · November 2015

We are not finding out!!

I just feel like the sex of this baby doesn't matter so much as long as the baby is healthy. I have one boy and one girl, whatever the sex of this baby its really a bonus no matter what. Plus I watched both my sister in laws announce they where having girls about a year ago and everyone was like "Ohhhh, are you sure?". I felt really bad for them. I don't want people to be less then thrilled if Im having a girl and I don't want my sister in laws to feel jealous if Im having a boy as they both want boys badly. Ill just make everyone wait and I know they will be too excited once the baby is here to care if its a boy or girl.

Im sorry your hubby is bummed but Im sure once he gets used to the idea he will be fine with it. My hubby I think doesn't really care either way. And last but not least Congrats on your baby! You have waited years for this baby, I think the wait will be worth it when it comes to the sex of the baby. I have heard its something very special to wait.

liz2005Aj · November 2015

thank you soo much ladies, I feel keeping it a surprise adds so much excitement till the very end. we are soo excited and I agree we are looking for a healthy baby above everything. Congrats to all you ladies!!!

Jason&Erin82507 · November 2015

We found out with our first two, but I promised my husband that we will not find out out this time. He found out the other two times for me, so I feel it's time to do things his way ;-)

Curbs12 · November 2015

Found out with my first... Not finding out with this one until June!

bio-oesch · November 2015

I was dead set on not finding out when we got pregnant with our first. We waited until 27 weeks and I couldn't take it anymore and we found out and I'm so glad we did because I was convinced she was a boy, lol.

For the other two we found out asap and this one, I already have the appointment made to find out at 14 weeks.

I can't believe how hell bent I was on waiting and then it all went out the window

I still think it's awesome for those that can wait, just not for me.

catherinekate · November 2015

I haven't decided if we'll find out or not -- but much respect to you and everyone else who knows for sure that you want to wait until day of the delivery. Personally, the sex isn't a big deal one way or the other so I'm inclined to wait... but I do think it would it would be nice to start calling the baby by its name rather than a unisex nickname. But we're also struggling with nicknames, so we might change our mind if we can find a nickname that sticks!

chelthorn · November 2015

Kuddos to those of you not finding out! I didn't know with my first and it was hard to try and do a nursery and things after we got home from hospital. I wanted to add some girly touches to what was done.

I am a planner, this time I will be finding out. I want to have everything finished. Plus I think it will be easier for my DS if we find out so she knows if she is getting a brother or sister.

Kballew10 · November 2015

We aren't going to find out. I want to have gender neutral things anyway because I would like to re-use things for (hopefully) more kids in the future, plus I like the idea of having that announcement at the hospital. And as greedy as it sounds, I would like people to buy us things from our registry that are helpful and necessary instead of buying a bunch of clothes that they think are cute. I took some convincing of DH to make the surprise happen, but I think it will be worth it!

liz2005Aj · November 2015

I have to say overall just being pregnant again is an amazing experience... I'm excited to feel that 1st kick and everything else..
I'm excited with our decision of not finding out, just praying for a healthy baby! Being prepared with neutral colors.. Happy to hear for all you ladies!!! Thank you all for all your wonderful feedback

cmillar36 · November 2015

Found out the first 2 times. Not finding out this time. Will be tough as my other 2 are winter babies. Need to shop.

augbride87 · November 2015

I left the choice up to DH. I found out with DD and am fine either way. Right now he wants to find out, we will see how he feels closer to the anatomy scan. I agree with PPs it is a surprise no matter when you find out though

ETA: Major kudos to all of you who aren't finding out though!

dennyandlee · November 2015

DH and I aren't planning on finding out until baby arrives. He has three children and found out with all of them, even though he wanted to wait. I've always liked the idea of waiting, too, so right now, that's the plan.

shainaellis · November 2015

Kballew10 said:
We aren't going to find out. I want to have gender neutral things anyway because I would like to re-use things for (hopefully) more kids in the future, plus I like the idea of having that announcement at the hospital. And as greedy as it sounds, I would like people to buy us things from our registry that are helpful and necessary instead of buying a bunch of clothes that they think are cute. I took some convincing of DH to make the surprise happen, but I think it will be worth it!

It was great to get a bunch of gender neutral items from my last pregnancy that I will be able to use with this baby! Also, it was SO nice to actually get what we needed at the shower instead of a pile of girl/boy clothes!

goldie987 · November 2015

We plan to find out but aren't telling people we know for the same reason @Kballew10 said. We'll see how long that lasts at least.

OP, one word of advice. Make sure the ultrasound tech and all doctors know you do not want to know the sex so they don't slip up and share accidentally.

FutureMrsBaggett · November 2015

We aren't findng out! I get tired of people asking "why not?!" Or "oh...I could NEVER do that." But to me there are only so many big surprises left in life and I cannot wait for this to be one of them! Plus my husband and I will be so happy and blessed with a boy or girl.

ngraham17@yahoo.com · November 2015

DH wants to know so he can start buying clothes. I on the other hand do not want to know. I would like it to be a surprise and hopefully he will jump on board. Since we had to go other routes to conceive, I would prefer this part to be more natural, fun, exciting and a surprise! It may take some heavy convincing though!

seabandsforall · November 2015

We caved in and found out the first time, though before finding out, I knew deep in my heart that it was a boy and it was! This time around we are decided on not finding out, God willing. There are so few surprises in life anyways, why not have one? But I kind of am strongly feeling that it's a girl

I'll be happy with no matter what of course.

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