Community› The Bump Month Clubs› October 2015 Moms
October 2015 Moms
New Discussion

Want to feel like a woman again!!

KristynLee15KristynLee15 member
in October 2015 Moms
Ill be 6 weeks pp on tuesday. Im tired of feeling like a slob. We had a pretty rough delivery. 6 hours of pushing...to a csection..then baby had blood sugar issues..tongue tie..jaundice..feeding tube. Now that all that is straightened out and we kind of have a daily rythym i want to feel like a woman again. Me and DH havent had sex since weeks before the baby since it was so uncomfortable for me. And he jut turned me down. I mean i know my spit up covered sweats and no make up and stretch marks arent sexy...but come on man!! He says we really should wait until my 6 week check up..and i know thats probably the smarted idea.. but im tired and frustrated and horny and just feel so gross all the time. A little lovin might have helped me feel better. :(
Sorry...long vent.
Report Reply to Post

Re: Want to feel like a woman again!!

  • clairesmommabearclairesmommabear member
    Try putting it to him this way. Instead of sex do foreplay. That way it's still safe and you still will get the physical affection you need right now. Let him know how you feel. Then once you get the all clear from your doctor, you can have the real fun again. That's how o got through the first six weeks with my first LO.
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • KristynLee15KristynLee15 member
    Hes never really been real big on foreplay. And im kind of embarassed to approach it. I dpnt want him to feel guilty but im so on edge now. I spend all day alone with LO. He goes to work then takes a nap. Which is fine..hes a laborer and works hard . I hust feel so distant. And im sure its probably just my emotions. I neber thought i cpuld be lonely and bored when im busy all day woth LO. Just in some desperate need of adult attention. Sorry. I know im whining.
    Report Reply
  • clairesmommabearclairesmommabear member
    Oh believe me I know how you feel. My husband is considering leaving, so I haven't had any physical affection in months. It can drive a woman insane, no matter how busy she is.

    Perhaps try having someone watch LO for a few hours and have a date night. Then you at least have the adult interaction with him and can get dressed up and feel womanly in another way until you get the okay from your doctor.
    Report Reply
  • KristynLee15KristynLee15 member
    I juat made my 6week appt. For tuesday! So hopefully well get the all clear and hell feel more comfortable. We actually had a night away last week for the Marine corp ball. But being out of comission and exhausted. We were actually asleep at 12am....bailed on the ball and the casino early lol. I go ess it can only go up from here :) thanks fr listening.
    Sorry to hear about your hubby, that is definately a sucky situation!
    Report Reply
  • Dawnmarie0310Dawnmarie0310 member
    I've felt the same way. Ontop of having depression it sucks. We did do IT. But I feel he wasn't into it. So I told him to just leave me alone.
    Report Reply
  • KristynLee15KristynLee15 member
    Ugh thats the worst! Its like why waste my time?! I know werr both tired all the time but sometmes it would be nice to hear "you look noce today"...at least when i have the energy to make the effort. Every night he says thank you for taking care of our baby girl and tells me im amazong. But i dont feel it.
    I wish we could just clue these men in!!
    Report Reply
  • Dawnmarie0310Dawnmarie0310 member
    I've never gotten a compliment on my looks from my SO. I know I'm not pretty. But gosh. Idk it sucks.
    Report Reply
  • tracij12tracij12 member
    Dawnmarie0310 said:

    I've never gotten a compliment on my looks from my SO. I know I'm not pretty. But gosh. Idk it sucks.

    My H doesn't really compliment me either...his mom even called him out for it. But please don't say you're not pretty! Love yourself and that cute little one!!!!
    Married DH 08.28.10
    Pregnancy #1: BFP 04.10.11 EDD 12.23.11 DD1 Born 12.4.11
     Pregnancy #2: BFP 5.12.14 MC 5.20.14 @ 5wk4d
    Pregnancy #3: BFP 11.1.14 EDD 7.5.15 MC 11.13.14 @ 6wk4d
    Pregnancy #4: BFP 1.31.15 EDD 10.5.15 DD2 Born 9.23.15
     
    Report Reply
  • KristynLee15KristynLee15 member
    Why dont these men get it??! I think am occasional compliment would go a long way. I dont think they understand what weve been through, from pregnancy to childbirth to after. Im afraid DH looks at me differently. Heck, ive never even pooped while he was home in 10 years. And he got to have a front row seat to that during labor :(. Its hard to bring it up to them because them it seems as though youre fishing for compliments. Dont say youre not pretty! That breaks my heart. No woman should ever feel that way, although right now I'm sure we all do.
    Report Reply
  • mistycraymistycray member
    My heart breaks for y'all!!!  This is my third child, my first two were with my first husband who never complimented me.  Not on my looks, on my parenting, nothing.  We never had sex, we never hung out, just nothing.  This went on for a lonely ten years, until I finally filed for divorce.  He wasn't a bad buy, but our marriage was just EMPTY.  I'm not saying y'all are married to a-holes or that you need to be divorced, but I will say that my new husband thinks I'm just the best thing to every happen to him, and he's constantly showering me with compliments and affection.  And trust me, I'm no supermodel!  Unless you're a celebrity or have a personal trainer and a nanny, we will ALL look a real hot mess for the first few months.  You WILL get your groove back!  After my son was born in April 2009, it took me 8 months to ever START to feel like doing something for myself, but once I did, I lost 65 lbs, made time to exercise and cook myself better meals, and with that came the confidence to demand my (now ex) husband to treat me better and to have the confidence and courage to leave his butt when he didn't!  Again, not condoning divorce, but I want you first time mamas to know that it WILL get better, and you WILL feel better about yourself.  I'm not saying your body will look like it did pre-pregnancy, but those stretch marks will fade and you'll eventually be able to shower daily again.  xoxo
    Report Reply
  • mommav83mommav83 member
    I am so sorry that all of you are dealing with that. This is my 2nd so I've made a point to shower everyday and get makeup on if I go out(just the basics but definetely something). My DH and I want to do it but he wants to wait till my 6 week visit to get the all clear. I'm dying to get it on but I'll wait. One more week to go.
    Report Reply
  • KristynLee15KristynLee15 member
    I feel bad. I wasnt trying to talk down on DH. Hes great. He compliments me in other ways a lot and daily. But sometikes its just nice to hear youre pretty. I think im jist overly needy right now.
    Report Reply
  • whitemn04whitemn04 member
    My hubby struggles with giving compliments but he's gotten better. His family was never very affectionate so he didn't learn those traits. He tells me daily I'm doing a great job. He isn't too good about helping me at night most times, but he's more than willing to sit home while I go have time to myself for a while. He even encouraged me to go get my hair done because I've been talking about how crappy I feel and my hair doesn't help. I'm normally more blond but went more reddish/brown with copper high lights. I've gone dark before so it's not a complete new thing but he told me I look hot and the 6 week mark can't come soon enough. Of course I called him a perv LOL. But at least he's trying :)
    Report Reply
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"