Least Favorite Baby/Pregnancy Platitudes

morganelizabeth23 · November 2015

So I'm at 34 weeks, and I swear there are some things I've heard SO many times it's driving me insane. I'm usually a really patient person, but somehow being in my third trimester has stripped me of f***s to give. So instead of rolling my eyes at well-meaning friends and family, I'm listing the sayings that bother me below. Feel free to chime in with things you're tired of people doing/saying to you and/or your bump. *All in good fun*

1. "You're in the home stretch! Haha... literally!" - I'm so aware that it's literal, I promise. I really feel like launching into a diatribe about my hips and vagina being in so much pain I can't sleep at night, but I'll spare you. For now.

2. "Enjoy your pregnancy, it's the next 18 years you should be worried about!" - There are so many things wrong with this statement, and it usually comes from men who have never been pregnant, and simultaneously feel the need to play down the entire uncomfortable process of people making and blow the process of raising children totally out of proportion. Also, aren't they still your child after 18? I'm pretty sure at 28 my parents are still my parents. What is the point of making generic doomsday statements about having kids anyway? It's obviously too late to turn back, unless they're campaigning for me to give up my child for adoption?

3. "Oh, I miss being pregnant so much! You'll totally miss _______ once you're not pregnant anymore." I get this a lot from family friends who are usually empty nesters. While I've enjoyed a few magical things about pregnancy, I'm guessing they've forgotten about a lot of the uncomfortable, gross, annoying, and painful aspects.

4. "So, are you ready to have a kid?" Well.... I doubt anyone is ever truly ready, but at this point I don't have a choice. Also, most people don't actually want to hear your answer to this question, kind of like a "Hello, how are you today?" from a store clerk.

5. Anything involving lack of sleep. Everyone feels the need to tell me how little sleep I'll be getting, like I don't already know, and might not be able to handle it. Pretty sure people have been raising babies since the dawn of time, and though parts of it might suck, I'm fairly sure the payoff is worth it.

I'm not going around telling people off, in case you're worried I'm some horrible jaded pregnant person, just spitting them out here for shits and giggles.

- M

ssn109 · November 2015

Yes, especially to number 5. And not just the sleep comments, but the "oh, you thing you're tired now" statements. I know sleep won't be easy to get after I have the baby. Doesn't mean I'm not tired now. You try getting up repeatedly at night to pee and struggling to get comfortable every night, see if you're not tired. Grrr

brady1031 · November 2015

Totally agree with number 5!!!! I just want to say well f'ing duh I know I'll be lacking sleep when he gets here! Some people just say things that make them look like big assholes!

Bombmom3 · November 2015

"Man, you're going to have your hands full!"

This is one I have been hearing since I started to show while lugging around a yearling in one arm and trying to herd a three year old with the other. Thank you, kind stranger, for letting me know how full my hands will/will not be. I had no idea that adding a third baby might make life more complicated.

raq_2020 · November 2015

I'm usually not very annoyed by things well-intentioned people say but at this point in my pregnancy, it's getting really frustrating! Here's some of the more annoying ones:

Someone recently referred to my maternity leave over & over as my "vacation"

Every single day, usually multiple times a day, someone says something to the effect of "you're not big enough to be due that soon" ......... It happens so so so so so much and it is by far the most annoying thing that anyone says to me. A few people have gone so far as to ask if the doctors were sure everything was ok because of how "small" they believe I am. WHAT? WHY WOULD YOU SAY THIS?

Another annoying thing- People telling me how great pregnancy is & to appreciate it. I have a lot of medical problems that have to go untreated during pregnancy & I can assure you, this is not great. Pregnancy has been one of the worst experiences of my life. I am so glad to be able to be pregnant and have soooo much love for my baby, but my pregnancy has been very far from wonderful.

Finally, I'm getting lots of unsolicited advice about what to do and not to do, but it's really inappropriate because I have to do certain things because of the previously mentioned medical problems. I'm not going to broadcast those to everyone, so instead I just suffer through all this stupid advice that doesn't apply to me at ALL.

Thanks for the vent session!!! I needed that!!

12815AEEA · November 2015

Omg! If I hear "ready to pop!" One more time, I might *pop* someone! And I'm SO SICK of talking about my due date, etc. Ugh, leave me alone people!

taykerslake · November 2015

Lurker from N15, just wait until you get to the last week or so. The questions of "is baby here yet?!?" "Any labor signs?" "When do you think baby will decide to come?" Are even more frustrating. No baby is not here, yes I have all the labor signs except for the whole labor thing, and baby hasn't really told me exactly when he's decided to make his debut!

acanfield18 · November 2015

I got told the other day by a woman that I was so tiny she was nervous that I might not actually be pregnant...I'm 3 weeks away from my DD...I'm no bigger or smaller than most other pregnant women... Yep I'm sure of the DD and yep he's is growing perfectly! Yes, My belly is smaller with this one and.....? Im sure ppl are trying to be nice but its annoying.. I don't feel small when I can't get out of bed or have to waddle to pee every 5 damn minutes!

littleSkittle14 · November 2015

In the last week alone, I've had multiple strangers tell me how large I am. And then look shocked when I tell them I still have a month to go.

In what world is it EVER ok to tell a woman she looks large?? Ugh.

BrookeBrown2015 · November 2015

I am really tired of people telling me to go walking/asking if I have been going walking. & claiming how it is supposed to make labor easier. Well, my doctor hasn't told me to go walking and in fact has told me to stay off my feet due to my varicose veins which will apparently have to be surgically removed so no, I am not going walking.

BrookeBrown2015 · November 2015

Oh & definitely wish people would stop asking if I am ready.

MercyC1130 · November 2015

I loathe the term "pop"... As well as "bake" when it comes to baby...just yuck.
Mostly it's the just enjoy your time comments that bug me. You all know why, I'm not even going there.

mltarrio · November 2015

I am getting a lot of "any day now" as either a question or statement. Unfortunately I am not due for another 6 weeks. I know the people who say this are not trying to be insensitive, but it annoys the shit out of me. Yes, I have a huge baby bump, but I don't need that fact pointed out to me. And I really don't need a reminder that I still have more than a month to go in this condition.

redfallon · November 2015

This usually comes a bit later, but "Sleep when the baby sleeps" has always gotten my hackles up. Yes, so when should I pee, shower, eat, wash dishes, or wash clothes (mine or baby's)??? It really got to me because my baby would not nap without me holding her for a few months. She also would not stand baby wearing, so that was out, too.

Taylovesbrad · November 2015

How about "your face has changed"
Thank you captain obvious I know how swollen I am at 37 weeks. BITE ME and stop looking at my fat face!!!

keiragann · November 2015

Taylovesbrad said:
How about "your face has changed"
Thank you captain obvious I know how swollen I am at 37 weeks. BITE ME and stop looking at my fat face!!!

Umm yeah I just started getting this and that my nose is changing. And I get "even though you don't feel great your glowing". Oh yay! Is glowing going to make my 37 week pregnant ass any less sore or tired or ready for this baby boy?
*edited for autocorrect

lalg28 · November 2015

Yes to all of these! Why can't people say things like You look great! I'm so excited and happy for you! Do you need anything? These are appropriate. How are all these other inappropriate and rude comments considered normal pregnancy comments?

Court11152325 · November 2015

I know it's probably been said on other threads, but I'm getting pretty sick of being asked, "how are you feeling?" I don't know what kind of answer they're looking for.

USCnurse42 · November 2015

I have been told by several people "Holy crap, you will have a baby soon." Well, yeah that is how this process works. It is usually followed by are you ready? Well, this isn't my first rodeo, people. I already have 2 boys, and I am having a 3rd. I think I am good.

NellieHarringtonCarter · November 2015

I haven't had the opportunity yet, but I sort of want to answer the question "How are you feeling?" with "Pregnant."

And when they follow up with something like "Well, yeah, but how are you doing?" I would answer with "Well, I can go into detail, but it might get pretty gross..."

ssn109 · November 2015

I'm looking forward to being told I look tired while carting around my newborn...haha, not really.

I'm annoyed with the people telling me I shouldn't be doing certain things. Especially when it's a man trying to tell me I'm not allowed to do xyz while pregnant. Stfu, my doctor is fine with it. And since you've never been pregnant, and are not my husband, you get no say in what I do.

blansaw · November 2015

NellieHarringtonCarter said:

I haven't had the opportunity yet, but I sort of want to answer the question "How are you feeling?" with "Pregnant."

I do this all the time! All the while I'm thinking, "I'm in the uncomfortable, gross, have to pee all the time part of pregnancy. It sucks. How are you today?"

breezypip · November 2015

NellieHarringtonCarter said:
I haven't had the opportunity yet, but I sort of want to answer the question "How are you feeling?" with "Pregnant."

And when they follow up with something like "Well, yeah, but how are you doing?" I would answer with "Well, I can go into detail, but it might get pretty gross..."

I always answer "pregnant" to this question. And sometimes I add "and huge". No one ever presses further. Usually they just laugh and say something like "well you look great". You know they're just dying to mention the bump, so I cut to the chase. So it's worked out for me.

ealiska · November 2015

Gaaaahh DH has this one friend he's known since elementary school. He's a total trainwreck but he feels sentimental loyalty for the guy, who by the way has been at our house way too much lately since he's going through his second divorce at 32.
Anyway-he's been telling me how much being a parent sucks for the past several months but last weekend I'd just had enough so when he told me my life was over in 7 weeks I lost it and just said " you're a dick!!". Him and DH were speechless.

rzaremba · November 2015

This. All of this.

Bombmom3 · November 2015

Needed to add another one I forgot until someone said it today ...

"You finally get your boy! Now you can be done."

First, while we are super thrilled we are adding a son to our two daughters, we were not now (nor were we ever) trying for one flavor over the other.

Second, who the Hell are you to give me tacit permission to be done having babies? And why do you care?

Melissadmag · November 2015

The doomsday comments about raising a baby/children drive me nuts. Like thanks guys, I just got done telling you how excited I am about having a baby and all you can think to say is how terrible everything is going to be, and to just hold out until they are 18 so I can have my life back? ....Maybe you should have never become a parent but I plan on enjoying my kids and the time I get with them....and they don't stop being my kids at 18. I am aware that there will be times I want to rip my hair out, but unlike you that's not what I'm focusing on, so please don't try to make me regret the decision to start a family....@$$hole.

rosij7 · November 2015

I hate it when people say pop!!!!
I told one of my co-workers to stop saying pop. Seriously it makes me so mad.

Jmdavin · November 2015

Worst one I've gotten was "you aren't disabled!" When I haven't wanted to do something because I was freaking exhausted. This was said by my younger brother who has absolutely no concept of what creating a human life is like. He got quite a hormone-induced earful after that one.

celainev · November 2015

When people are surprised to hear I'm 33 weeks because I look "small," I happily tell them I am actually measuring perfectly for a 33 week gestational age and I politely ask how many 33 weeks pregnant people do they currently know? I ask in a nice enough way so they don't think I'm rude, but they usually smile or laugh and say I am right. Glad that that is working.

When people say I'm going to miss being at work when I have a crying infant at home, I tell them; I take care of 70 crying seniors when at work, so I'll be happy to only have one crying being at home. Same thing. They usually smile and tell me I am right.

Sometimes honesty helps in these situations and stops people from saying such annoying shit all the time.

redfallon · November 2015

@Jmdavin said:

Worst one I've gotten was "you aren't disabled!" When I haven't wanted to do something because I was freaking exhausted. This was said by my younger brother who has absolutely no concept of what creating a human life is like. He got quite a hormone-induced earful after that one.

I hate that one, too. No, pregnancy isn't a disability, but it can be disabling. Some women have no issues whatsoever and seem to do everything they were able to do before. For others, myself included, there are lots of things that I cannot do now or cannot do very well or without help, or without painful consequences later.

morganelizabeth23 · November 2015

Love all of this. Glad I'm not alone in my ranty state.

Good luck to all you ladies in fending off judgmental buttholes!

- M

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