@tc27 oh ffs. How about you focus on the birth of your child instead of standing on your soapbox & shaming half the women here. It's people like you that make women feel guilt and shame for c-sections, inductions, & pain management. I'm being induced on Thursday, so this is a GREAT thing to read my first time back on TB in a couple weeks.
@tc27 what a cool story from a FTM. And just want to reiterate that you stated this is your first baby so you don't actually have any experience... I hope you don't end up being that small percentage of women who's labor just doesn't advance. Would be a pity if you had to put your child through all the stress from drugs. Oh and don't get me started on emergency situations. Like pps have stated, worry about your own labor instead of shaming other women for their choices. Good luck with your all natural birth!
@tc27 hey thanks a lot for judging those of us who had to be induced. I had to be induced at 34w5d to save mine and my baby's lives, sooooo your point is kind of moot now isn't?
wow - not sure how to respond to that one. Have a baby , then we'll talk. Research is awesome, but having babies is not something that will ever be the same for two people. To all you mamas who have been induced, had c/s, needed medical intervention - you rock. This is number three, and however he comes out is just fine with me. I have no shame ( neither should ANYONE!!) in doing what is medically necessary to get him here safely!! Labor is THE hardest thing you will ever do in your life, but with the BEST reward!!!
@tc27 Holllyyyyyyyy caps- you need to calm your ass down. There's quite a few of us who didn't have a choice in induction and the methods chosen to get baby here. Despite your preaching, moms here are concerned above all about their LOs safety so I can safely say the majority here will and would do whatever it took that was medically recommended for everyone's safety.
Also, FFS what is with the notion that we need play by play updates? Why is your special snowflake birth experience more important than others and why the hell would you use it to shame others- I can tell how important your LOs entrance in this world is an important personal experience to you. Go live tweet somewhere else.
Holy hell this is the most insensitive post I've ever read. Who the hell made you the expert on this. Why would you come on a public pregnancy forum and shame all these women. Every pregnancy and delivery is different So why would you put down other women for the choices the made to get their babies out safe. How the fuck dare you
@tc27 getting labor advice from someone who has never experienced it is on par with someone giving parenting advice who has never been a parent. I wish you the best of luck with your labor but please don't EVER judge someone's decision on how they will choose to manage the pain. It is personal. And quite frankly labor and delivery is a very minor part of becoming a parent. The rest of the child's life is what truly matters, not how they were delivered.
I just can't. WTAF gives you any right to judge another mom's choices (or her doctor's choices) during labor and birth? I am all for unmedicated birth, I plan to try to have one myself, but I also recognize that there are moms who will choose to get epidurals, there are moms who will need pitocin, and even the best intentioned unmedicated birth plan can result in medical interventions and c-section.
Get off your sanctimommy high horse and shut your mouth if you can't say something useful. And learn to type your batshit manifesto without using all caps and bold, no one wants to hear you yell.
For the OP as someone who just went through an unplanned unmedicated birth (I wanted an epidural but was to far along to get one) the only advice I can give is do some research on techniques. I wish I would have at least looked at some. There are lots of ways that births can go the unplanned route. Sometimes you just gotta roll with it.
@tc27 just shame on you! You have no right to judge anyone on their decisions.
@tc27 I was induced and at 7cm I too was still able to email my sister and friends. It's a whole different ball game when you get to transition so I wouldn't be too quick to crow or you'll be eating crow at 10cm, mark my words.
Epidural is the best thing to ever happen to me. Just saying!! In labor right now and 2 hours ago I could have passed out from the pain (going on hour 29 of labor). Got the epidural, took a nap, and I'm a new woman. All I need is some food (and this stubborn baby to make his way down!!).
I wouldn't bother posting your birth announcement after this!
Plus, until you've actually given birth, STFU, and if you ever do it a second time, still STFU because you have no idea how different each birth experience is!
Just an old 'bad apple' with no home to call her own,lurking in the shadows :-)
I was induced and got the epidural right away at 3cm, I couldn't really move around but I could sit up or lay back or whatever, I had my iPad and my family was there and we talked and played games and it was a really easy and enjoyable expierience. When it came time to push I would push when I felt my belly tighten. I still felt giving birth though in a sense, I felt a "pop" sensation when my daughters head came out which was really cool to me cause I thought I wouldn't be able to tell or know at all and I was glad I did. I was a little scared the epidural was going to hurt by it didn't, I felt the tiniest pinch ever. I felt getting the IV in more than I did the epidural. Anyway, for me, medicated is the way to go.
I just had my first baby on November 2nd and went natural. My first recommendation is to find some facebook mom groups and ask questions. For me, everyone in my life kept saying stuff like "yeah sure, just wait, you'll be begging for drugs" when I talked about my desire to go natural. So I asked for stories from other mom's online for inspiration, tips and advice. I'm so glad I did b/c a lot of their advice was key for me going natural. For example, I made a deal with my husband that if I told him I couldn't take it anymore, he was to ask me "Can you give me 5 more minutes?" That advice came straight from another mom online. Anyways, back to my story. The majority of the labor was manageable as the only painful parts were at the peak of the contraction and if I was in a good position and practiced long slow deep breathing, the pain was short and tolerable. Then, I was pain free until the next contraction. Definitely HIRE A DOULA!!! This was the best advice I was given and everyone was right. They are worth every penny!!! Change laboring positions and when you find one that works really well for you, keep going back to it, but don't stay there the entire time. For me, the bath/shower was a GAME CHANGER. Specifically, I would kneel on the bathtub floor and rest my head on a pillow (they have waterproof pillows) on the side of the tub. My husband was standing behind me with the water as hot as I could stand it and running the hand held shower handle back and forth all over my back. No lie, this took my pain levels from a 10 to a 6 as I was going into the transition. My other favorite position was sitting on a swivel pedestal chair on wheels and raising my bed high enough that I could rest my head and arms on the end. Much like you would sleep at your desk in school. When the contraction would start, I would swivel my hips back and forth and had my legs spread wide while taking deep breaths. This was my #2 laboring position. But try different positions and do what works for you. Here's the bonus. Recovery is a breeze after natural! The second it's over, you barely remember the level of pain intensity. I was pain free once the placenta was delivered and alert and able to get up and go to the bathroom on my own. It's not for everyone and I totally respect the mom's that go with an epi, but this was right for me and my baby. She came out with eyes wide open and was super alert and nursed immediately. Because I could fully feel each contraction, I was able to work with my body perfectly to deliver her. My doctor worked on some perineum stretching while I was in between pushes and by the time I delivered, I only needed 1 stitch and baby girl was 8 pounds and 1 ounce. Anyways, that's my two cents. I'm super glad we made it through natural and I also kind of feel like a bad ass! Really want to say SUCK IT to any family member that thought I was being so naive and didn't know what I was talking about when I said I wanted to go natural. Good luck momma!!! Whatever you choose, it's the right decision for you and your baby and you'll be amazing!!! Just trust that your body knows what to do.
Watch The Business of Being Born;) I found it to be very helpful when considering medicated or unmedicated birth. You can find it on YouTube and Netflix
Watch The Business of Being Born;) I found it to be very helpful when considering medicated or unmedicated birth. You can find it on YouTube and Netflix
I found this very helpful too! The information on the risks of medical intervention are extremely necessary to know before making a decision (unless there is medical need, of course). The one thing I would say is I felt that they made too many generalizations about hospital births. It made me feel like It was impossible to give birth the way you wanted in one. It could be that things have changed recently, but in my area we have hospital midwives, hospital waterbirth and they encourage rooming in and breast feeding. The hospital and doctor I chose is completely open to letting me go med free.
Watch The Business of Being Born;) I found it to be very helpful when considering medicated or unmedicated birth. You can find it on YouTube and Netflix
Watch The Business of Being Born;) I found it to be very helpful when considering medicated or unmedicated birth. You can find it on YouTube and Netflix
I found this very helpful too! The information on the risks of medical intervention are extremely necessary to know before making a decision (unless there is medical need, of course). The one thing I would say is I felt that they made too many generalizations about hospital births. It made me feel like It was impossible to give birth the way you wanted in one. It could be that things have changed recently, but in my area we have hospital midwives, hospital waterbirth and they encourage rooming in and breast feeding. The hospital and doctor I chose is completely open to letting me go med free.
This! I found the movie somewhat helpful, but it also gave me some anxiety about having a hospital birth, but it was too late to go another route (also, no birthing centers around me). My hospital, nurses, OB, everyone really were COMPLETELY on board with what I wanted to do, they never once pushed pitocin, epi, pain management, but asked me what I wanted at every step of the way. Being a first time mom and in the middle of it, often I would answer "I don't know" when they would ask what I needed, and they would help me feel more comfortable with different breathing techniques, laboring positions, when it might be a good time to push. I ended up with no medication, no stitches or tears and a perfectly healthy little girl.
Point of the story is that those documentaries can be informative, but it's important to keep in mind the agenda of the filmmakers while watching them...
Watch The Business of Being Born;) I found it to be very helpful when considering medicated or unmedicated birth. You can find it on YouTube and Netflix
I found this very helpful too! The information on the risks of medical intervention are extremely necessary to know before making a decision (unless there is medical need, of course). The one thing I would say is I felt that they made too many generalizations about hospital births. It made me feel like It was impossible to give birth the way you wanted in one. It could be that things have changed recently, but in my area we have hospital midwives, hospital waterbirth and they encourage rooming in and breast feeding. The hospital and doctor I chose is completely open to letting me go med free.
This! I found the movie somewhat helpful, but it also gave me some anxiety about having a hospital birth, but it was too late to go another route (also, no birthing centers around me). My hospital, nurses, OB, everyone really were COMPLETELY on board with what I wanted to do, they never once pushed pitocin, epi, pain management, but asked me what I wanted at every step of the way. Being a first time mom and in the middle of it, often I would answer "I don't know" when they would ask what I needed, and they would help me feel more comfortable with different breathing techniques, laboring positions, when it might be a good time to push. I ended up with no medication, no stitches or tears and a perfectly healthy little girl.
Point of the story is that those documentaries can be informative, but it's important to keep in mind the agenda of the filmmakers while watching them...
Well said. I enjoyed the business of being born but it does have an agenda and to think otherwise is naive.
I have to say, I've been on the bump since receiving a positive pregnancy test in March, and this has been one of the most helpful threads I've read.
I'm a FTM, I have been researching ways to manage pain unmediated during labor and have been highly skeptical of epidural. My one and only goal is a safe delivery for LO, but if I can do it without medicine, all the better.
Truly appreciate everyone sharing their stories on this thread, it's incredibly motivating.
I tried to watch the business of being born, bc so many recommended it, but I honestly made it about 30 min or so before I quit. It was pretty one sided . I like being informed and seeing both sides of issues, but it's hard if the documentary has such an obvious agenda.
I tried to watch the business of being born, bc so many recommended it, but I honestly made it about 30 min or so before I quit. It was pretty one sided . I like being informed and seeing both sides of issues, but it's hard if the documentary has such an obvious agenda.
Yeeeeah, I agree. I indirectly know the midwife featured (a friend still works for her) and she's been sued so many times. Things aren't always black and white and I definitely think childbirth is too unique to apply blanket statements to. I definitely think that documentary (like most docs) should be taken with a grain of salt.
Just remember - documentaries are one sided. This is a very informative one - but NOT the only way to do things. Please listen to your bodies and babies.......be safe!!!
@tc27 - I'm kind of sad that I didn't get to see your post, but let me just say that I totally planned on going for an unmedicated vaginal delivery. That was what I really wanted, despite how much I knew it would hurt. My baby, on the other hand, had other plans and went breech between 36w and 37w. I had an unsuccessful ECV (super painful), I tried walking more, I tried inverted positioning... Turns out I had a tenacious little girl in there, because she was not moving from that spot no matter what I did! To avoid the risks involved with attempting breech delivery, she was delivered via scheduled CS on my EDD. Things don't always go according to plan. I was honestly really bummed about not getting my unmedicated birth that I wanted (I still kind of am, even though everything went smoothly), but I chose the safest way to bring my baby into the world, and I certainly don't think that makes me a bad mother.
I think to each is own as long as we get our babies here healthy and safely.
Personally this is my 3rd vaginal birth my previous 2 I got the epidural with. I will tell you, when it works properly, as mine did, it is amazing for the pain. Amazing! But this time i really wanted to try unmedicated. I begged my husband to help me accomplish this. It's tough especially when you know how great an epidural is! So I decided to stay at home as long as I possibly could. It just gave me the freedom to be alone if I wanted, sit, stand, walk or do cartwheels if I wanted. (Though for some reason those never came to mind lol) my hubby kept close by but he knows I needed my space so he'd come in occasionally asking if I needed anything or if I was ready to go, mostly he'd get shewed away. Lol. Then when I started shouting it's time we need to leave now! He was standing at the door ready. 10 min drive to the hospital, 5 minute walk to L&D, signed 1/2 the paperwork...the gave DH the rest lol. Nurse asked me (while my DH was outside the room) if I wanted nubain I said if it's not going to make me feel drunk she said no it'll just take the edge off a little. Then the OB said no you'll feel drunk. Lol. I said no I don't want it then. When DH got back I told him maybe I should get the epidural? He gave me the best response and exactly what I needed to hear. He said "let's try 5 more minutes and then we will see." It gave me a goal. My OB broke my water after that the pain was so horrible I couldn't even think of the epidural lol. I just remember I kept asking him where he was though he was standing right in my face trying to hold my hand and I kept pushing it away lol. Then it came time to push, she came quickly because I could feel exactly what I was doing. I couldn't with my other two. No tears, or stitches. Was walking to the bathroom and eating a burger 20 minutes later. I arrived at the hospital at 10PM and she was born at 1036PM! I will say as much as I love the epidural, unmedicated was so much better for me. And the recovery was 1000 times easier. That's just me personally.
I wanted to try for an unmedicated birth. I hired a doula and was ready to go. The pain in active labor for me was beyond anything I imagined. My baby came so fast though, I went from a 3 to fully dilated and station 3 in 2hrs. At that point I wanted drugs but it was too late. I was ready for pushing.
For me pushing was the easiest part. It burned but it was not painful. I feel like because I was able to feel everything I could push really effectively. This is not to say those who get epidurals have a harder time, just saying this was good for me. I'm glad I had my DH and doula there for support because the birth experience I had was great for me.
I think the general rule of thumb is everyone should keep in mind. A birth plan can completely change in a moments notice so we all need to be open minded.
I wanted to try for an unmedicated birth. I hired a doula and was ready to go. The pain in active labor for me was beyond anything I imagined. My baby came so fast though, I went from a 3 to fully dilated and station 3 in 2hrs. At that point I wanted drugs but it was too late. I was ready for pushing.
For me pushing was the easiest part. It burned but it was not painful. I feel like because I was able to feel everything I could push really effectively. This is not to say those who get epidurals have a harder time, just saying this was good for me. I'm glad I had my DH and doula there for support because the birth experience I had was great for me.
I think the general rule of thumb is everyone should keep in mind. A birth plan can completely change in a moments notice so we all need to be open minded.
This times a million. I wanted to try an unmedicated birth and a water birth, but ended up being induced and had to stay in bed on constant monitoring. Just make sure you don't set your mind on anything and accept that things can and quite possibly will stray from your "plan".
I lurk. I snark. I offer sound advice if you're not BSC. You may not like me. I'm okay with it.
I wanted to try for an unmedicated birth. I hired a doula and was ready to go. The pain in active labor for me was beyond anything I imagined. My baby came so fast though, I went from a 3 to fully dilated and station 3 in 2hrs. At that point I wanted drugs but it was too late. I was ready for pushing.
For me pushing was the easiest part. It burned but it was not painful. I feel like because I was able to feel everything I could push really effectively. This is not to say those who get epidurals have a harder time, just saying this was good for me. I'm glad I had my DH and doula there for support because the birth experience I had was great for me.
I think the general rule of thumb is everyone should keep in mind. A birth plan can completely change in a moments notice so we all need to be open minded.
Out of curiousity, why was pushing the easiest part?
I planned to go unmedicated but after 36 hours of pure back labor, I couldn't handle life anymore. Epidural accidentally became a spinal so I still have the needle in my back (the hope is that if I keep it in for 24 hours) I shouldn't get the spinal headache because a scab will have already formed. But during labor, that epidural was amazing. I couldn't get my body to calm down enough during contractions so the first 4 cm took 36 hours, then after the epidural I was fully dilated in another 6. Thanks to feeling absolutely nothing I was able to labor down for another 2.5 hours. Epidural wore off right before pushing so I felt everything (I actually demanded my nurses get in here NOW because I needed to push because the back labor was returning and I was so ready thanks to all the laboring down). I did need an episiotomy because otherwise I was going to rip the wrong way - a cut was a much better option because as soon as she gave me a tiny snip he flew out.
I'm really glad I didn't have a set plan going into labor because it definitely was not a plan I would have written. But our son was born and in the end that's all I care about!
Re: Medicated or Unmedicated birth
Good luck with your all natural birth!
Also, FFS what is with the notion that we need play by play updates? Why is your special snowflake birth experience more important than others and why the hell would you use it to shame others- I can tell how important your LOs entrance in this world is an important personal experience to you. Go live tweet somewhere else.
Holy hell this is the most insensitive post I've ever read. Who the hell made you the expert on this. Why would you come on a public pregnancy forum and shame all these women. Every pregnancy and delivery is different So why would you put down other women for the choices the made to get their babies out safe. How the fuck dare you
I wish you the best of luck with your labor but please don't EVER judge someone's decision on how they will choose to manage the pain. It is personal. And quite frankly labor and delivery is a very minor part of becoming a parent. The rest of the child's life is what truly matters, not how they were delivered.
Edit because I forgot a word
Baby Boy born on 1/14/13
Get off your sanctimommy high horse and shut your mouth if you can't say something useful. And learn to type your batshit manifesto without using all caps and bold, no one wants to hear you yell.
@tc27 just shame on you! You have no right to judge anyone on their decisions.
If not you need to chill the eff out!
Plus, until you've actually given birth, STFU, and if you ever do it a second time, still STFU because you have no idea how different each birth experience is!
Anyway, for me, medicated is the way to go.
I found this very helpful too! The information on the risks of medical intervention are extremely necessary to know before making a decision (unless there is medical need, of course). The one thing I would say is I felt that they made too many generalizations about hospital births. It made me feel like It was impossible to give birth the way you wanted in one. It could be that things have changed recently, but in my area we have hospital midwives, hospital waterbirth and they encourage rooming in and breast feeding. The hospital and doctor I chose is completely open to letting me go med free.
Well said. I enjoyed the business of being born but it does have an agenda and to think otherwise is naive.
Baby Boy born on 1/14/13
I'm a FTM, I have been researching ways to manage pain unmediated during labor and have been highly skeptical of epidural. My one and only goal is a safe delivery for LO, but if I can do it without medicine, all the better.
Truly appreciate everyone sharing their stories on this thread, it's incredibly motivating.
DS2: EDD- 09.08.17
Just remember - documentaries are one sided. This is a very informative one - but NOT the only way to do things. Please listen to your bodies and babies.......be safe!!!
Personally this is my 3rd vaginal birth my previous 2 I got the epidural with. I will tell you, when it works properly, as mine did, it is amazing for the pain. Amazing! But this time i really wanted to try unmedicated. I begged my husband to help me accomplish this. It's tough especially when you know how great an epidural is! So I decided to stay at home as long as I possibly could. It just gave me the freedom to be alone if I wanted, sit, stand, walk or do cartwheels if I wanted. (Though for some reason those never came to mind lol) my hubby kept close by but he knows I needed my space so he'd come in occasionally asking if I needed anything or if I was ready to go, mostly he'd get shewed away. Lol. Then when I started shouting it's time we need to leave now! He was standing at the door ready. 10 min drive to the hospital, 5 minute walk to L&D, signed 1/2 the paperwork...the gave DH the rest lol. Nurse asked me (while my DH was outside the room) if I wanted nubain I said if it's not going to make me feel drunk she said no it'll just take the edge off a little. Then the OB said no you'll feel drunk. Lol. I said no I don't want it then. When DH got back I told him maybe I should get the epidural? He gave me the best response and exactly what I needed to hear. He said "let's try 5 more minutes and then we will see." It gave me a goal. My OB broke my water after that the pain was so horrible I couldn't even think of the epidural lol. I just remember I kept asking him where he was though he was standing right in my face trying to hold my hand and I kept pushing it away lol. Then it came time to push, she came quickly because I could feel exactly what I was doing. I couldn't with my other two. No tears, or stitches. Was walking to the bathroom and eating a burger 20 minutes later. I arrived at the hospital at 10PM and she was born at 1036PM! I will say as much as I love the epidural, unmedicated was so much better for me. And the recovery was 1000 times easier. That's just me personally.
For me pushing was the easiest part. It burned but it was not painful. I feel like because I was able to feel everything I could push really effectively. This is not to say those who get epidurals have a harder time, just saying this was good for me. I'm glad I had my DH and doula there for support because the birth experience I had was great for me.
I think the general rule of thumb is everyone should keep in mind. A birth plan can completely change in a moments notice so we all need to be open minded.
I lurk. I snark. I offer sound advice if you're not BSC. You may not like me. I'm okay with it.
I'm really glad I didn't have a set plan going into labor because it definitely was not a plan I would have written. But our son was born and in the end that's all I care about!