Today is 9 weeks since we lost our baby. It has been an emotional roller coaster for me. I'm sure you can all relate. Today, I'm trying to be positive. So, I need your help!
Tell us all at least one good thing that has happened to you since your loss. It doesn't have to be pregnancy or baby related. Just something positive. Let's send each other some good vibes!
Re: Share something happy!
I also made a list of happy things to do, for those days that I need a pick-me-up. (I just passed my EDD, so I've been on this roller coaster for a while.)
BFP 2/19/15 • MMC found at 9 wks • D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
BFP 8/29/15 • CP (age 37)
TTC#2 since May 2017
BFP 10/18/17 • MMC found at 8 wks • Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)
BFP 2/16/18 • CP (age 39)
BFP 4/13/18 • CP (age 39)
BFP 5/07/18 • MMC found at 10.5 wks • D&E at 11.5 wks • Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)
RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.
BFP 9/24/18 • CP (age 40)
1) My job comes after my family...I planned everything so I would be due at the end of the school year or summer. Now I could care less when the due date is!
2) I don't care if my baby is a boy.... i have 2 sisters and 2 step-sisters and a 3 yr old DD. I wanted soo badly for her to have those sisterly bonds that I really didn't want a boy. Childish, I know. Now I would give anything to have a healthy baby, no matter the gender.
3) I am more open about sex...my husband and I aren't super sexual people but with all the sex we have been trying to talk more and make things not so monotonous.
I am sure I could go on, but the point is there is joy in this sorrow. I still have days where I am a blubbering mess....saying why me? But, I focus in all my blessings and the knowledge I am gaining. I also stay hopeful. It will happen for us eventually and everyday is a day that we can't get back, so find joy in the ordinary.
LFAF April Siggy: TV/Movie BFFs
BFP #4 1/2016, DD born 10/2016
July16 JULY siggy challenge
I guess it's my turn:
1. This is so silly and superficial, but...y'all! My boobs are bigger! They aren't a lot bigger. Only enough for DH and me to tell, but being pregnant did make them grow a little. They didn't go back down much after the mc. So now, I actually fill out an A cup. Haha! Small victories!
2. @mrsmommya I could have said a lot of the same things. I'm a teacher and DH is a high school band director. I was so worried about a spring due date, but now I don't care. This is actually better because in both of our jobs, the first 3 months of school are the hardest, most stressful. I almost feel single again during marching band season. Now, I will probably be out on maternity, and we won't be trying to juggle being new parents and marching season all at once. It really works out better when I think about it.
3. DH and his dad built us an amazing, beautiful new deck because DH needed a project to get his mind off baby stuff while we were benched. We get to enjoy it together this weekend.
4. I've taken more time to enjoy my family, especially my nieces and nephews, than I did before. I got so busy with life that I have neglected them lately. This happening made me realize how much I miss them and need them.
Overall, I think I have grown from this experience. Having this community of ladies to share with has been so helpful. I know that one day, I will be able to help someone else who is going through something similar in a way that I wouldn't have been able to before.
I am looking forward to a camping trip later this month, staying at a ccc cabin at a Florida state park in December, and the kiddos at my teaching job this year are wonderful.
TTC since May 2014.
Aug 2014 BFP, EDD April 22, 2015. Low progesterone, started suppositories. Loss at 5w6d.
Nov 19, 2015 BFP at 13 dpo, EDD July 29, 2016. MMC discovered 12/29 (9+4). Natural miscarriage 1/16 (12+1).
AMH results 0.42, 1.2; FSH 12.1, AFC 10, dx DOR.
RPL testing results normal. Nurse recommended progesterone suppositories in TWW.
Clomid + trigger + TI cycle August 2016 - failed. Thin lining.
Femara + trigger + TI cycle December 2016 - failed. Thin lining.
Short LP (8 days).
Acupuncture & Chinese herbs starting January 2017, lengthened LP to 10 days
Summer 2016 LFAF awards:
Winter 2016/2017 LFAF awards:
Traveling is such a great way bring people together and have a little escape from the day to day! After our most recent MC we booked a trip to New Orleans! It has been a welcome distraction.
BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d;
BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks;
BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016