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December 2015 Moms
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Hospital visitors

mroth91mroth91 member
in December 2015 Moms
How does everyone feel about visitors after you have the baby? What is the soonest you will allow visitors? My mom told me today that since she is going to be in the room with us that she is going to ride to the hospital with us but once I'm told I can start pushing she will tell my dad and sisters to come up. I know that will be to soon for me. Who knows how long it will take for me to get into a regular room once I actually give birth. Plus my husband and I want to bond with our son before my family comes around I want to do skin to skin and breastfeeding. They are all so much louder than me I can gaurentee it will just stress me out having them there.
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Re: Hospital visitors

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  • littleSkittle14littleSkittle14 member
    Everyone is different so Decide what you want and make yourself super clear! I wanted visitors as soon as I was moved to my own room. My SIL didn't want visitors for 48 hours. Whatever you want is fine, but people should know so they can respect your wishes! You can also tell people that you'll let them know on the day.

    Also, most hospitals/staff can run interference for you, should your family decide they "know better" and come when you don't want them!
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  • redfallonredfallon member
    I didn't want any hospital visitors. In-laws came anyway. Sigh...

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  • ammnam14ammnam14 member
    I'll be letting my parents know as soon as I go into labor, they live about 2 hours away and have to commute. We'll let my H's family know asap as well. My hospital allows visitors 24hrs and there's a pretty decent waiting room so they can wait in there. Once it's go time only our mothers will be in there with us. Our motto is "The more the merrier." Lol
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  • VesperLoveVesperLove member
    I've never been through this before so I really don't know what I'm going to want. On our hospital tour they said that you leave your delivery room and go into a normal room about an hour after delivery if there are no complications. However, I also remember visiting my sister (her three deliveries at this hospital) in the labor room rather than the second room. 

    I know that my entire family will be there prior to the birth. That's just how they are. They will want to be in the waiting room. But they also know that they will not be invited back until we are ready so to be prepared for a wait should we request it. Our nurse will know what we want and everyone has so far said they will be respectful of that ... if not, I'm sure the nurse will hold her own and stop people from coming back. 

    So basically it'll be a game time decision based on how I'm feeling in the moment. 
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  • dec15mumdec15mum member
    In my hospital they on average, let you go home after 6 hours of birth (I'm thilled by this!)
    So no visitors for the first day except my SO and mum, the next day people can text me and I'll tell them when to come up and only for a short period of time.
    I get people are super excited to meet the LO but I'm more excited and me and my SO deserve time alone to heal and get to know our son.
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  • sardavbaksardavbak member
    I'm having a scheduled c-section at 8am, but we have told our family members that we will not be ready for visitors until 4pm at the earliest and asked them to wait until they hear from us before coming to the hospital. As many other PPs said, we want time to bond with our LO before she gets passed around to grandparents, etc! I don't want to feel rushed to get "presentable" either - don't want to rush breastfeeding or skin to skin just because people want to visit! We know everyone wants to meet the baby ASAP but we've worked hard to put our own needs/wishes first (NOT always easy to do!)
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  • jjmacejjmace member
    We are not having hospital visitors. This decision has not been the most popular but we are comfortable with it. Very open to family/friends visiting us at home.
    My MIL is about an hour-two (Depends on LA traffic) away. She's the only one I would consider having with us for labor. Unfortunately for me, before we announced our pregnancy she already booked/paid for a wonderful vacation with her SO. They will be in Europe before/during EDD. I didn't want her to have any regretful feelings towards her vacation because she so deserves the trip! Wearing my brave face.

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  • Mags128Mags128 member
    For my first DH and my mom were in the delivery room with me. After DD was born it took about 2-3 hours to go up to a regular room. At that point my sister and MIl came up. I was in a lot of pain so I didn't actually see my MIL but my sister hung out with me while I napped which was nice. The rest of my family and friends came the next day which was better. I was showered and in a little less pain. We will probably do the same this time.
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  • mrs14678mrs14678 member
    My hospital doesn't allow visitors til you're moved to your regular room... And they don't do that til you're all done with labor and 2 hrs of bonding time with baby.

    If you haven't done a tour of the facilities, maybe look into that? I'm sure they can tell you if they have policies or whatever.

    That being said, I don't want visitors til after I've showered!! Haha!
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  • suchaglencocosuchaglencoco member
    We do not want visitors for at least 2 hours after everything is ruled "ok" with everyone.
    Luckily, at our L&D class yesterday we were told we are in a L&D room for recovery for around 2 hours after that happens. We then get moved to another floor called "the mommy and me" floor. We will instruct people we cannot have visitors intl we are moved.
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  • cav4christcav4christ member
    Our hospital has started instituting a 2 hour wait period before visitors. This is pretty on par with what I was thinking. DH's family is all 12+ hours away, so I'm thinking just immediate family for the first day, then open it up for others. It also all depends on how everything goes in L&D, as well as when baby makes her appearance. If it's the middle of the night, I will wait until morning to have people visit
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  • amye02amye02 member
    @mroth91 it sounds like your mom is dictating the who and when , I hope that it's also your wishes. If not set boundaries now, my mom can be very pushy but I have flat out told her she may come for labor, and she may wait in the waiting room for delivery until he is born. She can see us after that and then she can come back when I am ready for visitors. That wasn't her plan of course, but I am sticking to it. Don't be afraid of hurting anyone's feelings, the nurses will kick people out for you. They are on your side.
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  • mhwoodmhwood member
    This is my 3rd c-section, so I'm going to be in for a minimum of 2 nights. Outside of my husband and our 2 other daughters, I will have no visitors.

    My priority is bonding, breastfeeding, introducing my LO to my other two, and recovering. I have no interest in entertaining anyone. Both of our families understand completely and know that when we are ready, we will let them know.
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  • kristib1027kristib1027 member
    With my first I said anyone could come as long as they called first and I was up to it and that worked fine, however we are now somewhere with no family near- just friends and it's totally different. I have stated this time that we will not have visitors till we are home other than big sister! I want to relax this time around.
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  • Gingermom15Gingermom15 member
    No visitors until we are home and relaxed (as we can get). Nobody in the waiting room, either to avoid the pressure. We are debating not even telling anyone until after he is born.
    After I push a human out of my vag I suspect I won't be up for visitors, even less so if I have to have a c-section.
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  • stlmomof2stlmomof2 member
    That's too soon in my opinion. I honestly would wait until the next day at the earliest.

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  • violetigerlilyvioletigerlily member
    Both sets of grandparents live 3-4 hours away from us.  Our plan is to call them when I realize that I'm in labor so they can get ready but have them wait to leave until I'm admitted to the hospital before they leave so they don't drive up here for nothing.  The plan is for them to stay at our house for the two days that we'll be in the hospital, making visits as they see fit and taking care of our cats.  Who knows--maybe they'll clean a little or make us some freezer meals if they get bored?

    I'm fine with them staying in the waiting room while we're in labor and delivery.  If I have a short labor I probably won't call anyone back, but if it's a long labor it might be nice to have people to talk to to pass the time.  Only DH and I will be in the room for the actual delivery. 

     MIL originally assumed that she'd rush into our room as soon as LO is "weighed and cleaned up" but I shut that down quickly by explaining that things are different now and the hospital does skin-to-skin time and that they won't even weigh or clean up the baby until about an hour after birth if all goes well.  The imagery of a gooey baby plopped on my bare exposed chest was enough to make her say she's glad to wait, plus she was actually interested in the whole skin to skin temp stabilization and breastfeeding benefits.  Might be something to try explaining in your situation. My mom didn't allow visitors at the hospital when I was born, so she's on board with whatever restrictions we want.    So, we'll probably let them in about 2 hours after the baby is born when we've moved to the postpartum floor.  I might also request that they bring food. 
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  • BellaM110BellaM110 member
    edited November 2015
    I already know My parents and MIL wanna be at the hospital as soon as they find out I go into labor. i have already informed them it will just be me and my husband in the room during delivery and that I want time to bond and do skin to skin with him after he's born. So who knows how long they'll be waiting but I don't care. I'm not letting them in til I'm good and ready.

    ETA- I also have no problem kicking them out if I want to rest or want alone time.
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  • lablover920lablover920 member
    My mom and DH will be there with me during birth. After I have showered my dad and the in-laws will be allowed at the hospital to visit (they won't be waiting in the waiting room as they are totally on board with DH calling them to come to the hospital once we are ready). As for everyone else NO. I actually have made many family members mad that I don't want anyone but our parents to visit while we are in the hospital. I do not care though. How is it so hard to wait until we are home?! 
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  • soulfishsoulfish member
    Im hoping for no one other than our moms for a couple of hours. I'll be having a csection and want some time to get it together and bond with the baby before people start coming to visit.
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  • EEB88EEB88 member
    redfallon said:
    I didn't want any hospital visitors. In-laws came anyway. Sigh...
    Ugh. Same. I was so angry. (angry is an understatement.)
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  • rain0831bowwrain0831boww member
    I don't care if I'm in labor if my parents and in laws want to pop in every now and then but they already know dh is the only one I really want there the entire time. I might have my sister there if I don't have a C section to take photos but I feel really at ease with dh and her. I already told my parents and in laws to tell family I don't want anyone there until after she's here and I doubt anyone will want to hangout in the waiting room anyway other than my grandparents. Our families are really good with checking with the parents any time someone is born to see when would be a good time to visit. 
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  • momotheflyinglemurmomotheflyinglemur member
    We intend to use the shit out of L&D nurses. SO is also ready to be a brick wall between his family and I until I am ready to let anyone else touch my baby. My mom's relative disinterest in my pregnancy pays off in this feild because after telling her our postdelivery plan she has decided that SO and I can just give us a call when I am settled in my room with the healthy little one and then she will come to the hospital. MIL and SIL on the other hand are insistant that they be at the hospital the moment I go into labor and I really don't care. My ONLY stipulation is that NO ONE posts ANYTHING on social media on pain of getting their throats ripped out with my bare hands.
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  • jessejasonbabyjessejasonbaby member
    Last time i thought i wanted no one there so we could bond.... Then it happened. I didnt even realize everyone was waiting outside the delivery room but was actually happy to see them right after. It was 2am so everyone went home and then i basically waited for an appropriate time to start calling people to come see me. I had an insane rush of adrenaline and pride and just couldn't wait to see people. The day after she was born 15 people (immediate family) came over for dinner. I made it with some help of course. It was just really because of the energy surge though. I can't wait to feel that rush again
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  • groovylocksgroovylocks member
    My family are loud too, I usually love their craziness. But i know how you feel op.

    I'm not sure personally what i'm going to want. I tend to be quite solitary but I've never been through this before. Even if I suddenly feel social, I kind of feel like the room should clear at least until the cord is cut and we have a chance to cuddle with our baby, just the two of us.
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  • MelissadmagMelissadmag member
    I don't really want anyone waiting in the waiting room because I would feel pressured to get baby out and not inconvenience them by making them wait forever lol.  My mom, sister, and DH will be in the room with me during labor/delivery which is already going to feel like a lot, but necessary. Everyone else can come once I'm in a normal room. I'm pretty confident that anyone that wanted to show up would give me or my mom pretty fair warning, as well as ask if they could come. My family is pretty considerate, especially since my uncle just had his baby half a year ago and was super restrictive about everything, so I think everyone has gotten used to the ideas of giving everyone the space they need, and getting shots that they should in order to hold baby without me having to be the first to introduce those concepts. 
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  • merbear32merbear32 member
    My in-laws booked a hotel room for 3 days before my due date.  My husband won't tell them ahead of time that  I want no one there for 48 hours because they would be hurt and I might deliver early.  His theory is why be unkind if it might be a mute point.  I think it less kind if they show up and I send them away.  My parents will book the soonest flight after I'm admitted.  The flight is only 2 hours and there are several direct flights everyday.  NOBODY else will be permitted at the hospital.
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  • lauren812laurenlauren812lauren member
    Look into what your hospitals guidelines are- I was worried about visitors but when we took our tour, I was surprised to find out only the baby's grandparents can see you after 2 hours, absolutely no one before then, and literally everyone else can only visit between regular visiting hours of 2-8.
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  • LMJLLMJL member
    Right now I don't think I'll want anyone in the hospital at all. Definitely not until the day after at the earliest. My mom & husband will be in L & D w/me, but that's it. One note the L& D nurses who teach the classes @ my hospital said is that it can be distracting to mom & baby who are trying to learn BFing to have lots of people. Baby is less likely to latch w/a lot of commotion. Plus, I would really recommend no one visiting until your first bonding hour is over. That initial skin to skin & BFing time is SO impt! Doesn't sound to me like you want to see these people at all in the hospital, so I don't think you'll change your mind about it. But if you are worried or feel bad you can always tell them it's ok to come in small #s the day after if they call ahead. Stress the importance of getting BFing on track & getting rest for all of you. Then I'd tell your L&D nurses no one comes unless you tell them & they won't even let them up. Tell your family that this is the case as well, that way they won't show up w/o calling. I might let people come visit @ the hospital just b/c it's actually easier to get rid of them then & they don't stay as long as when they come to your house. Plus they cant bring their own tiny disease vectors (aka kids) to the hospital! I'm already unpopular for saying no to xmas....
    Also, OP BE EXPLICIT & have SO as backup for what you want! My sis had in laws show up like PPs that she didn't want & she was miserable. Matter of fact she's still bitter 12 years later. Doesn't change the fact that she is grumpy I'm saying wait & see about my birth though! People are just baby crazy, I guess!
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  • cmcweeneycmcweeney member
    We have decided that, other than my 2 older children, we will have no visitors until we are home. Both of our parents live 1300 miles away tho, so I'm sure if they were around we would have them visit but certainly not right away. I'd say if you have the baby in the am, maybe a late afternoon visit? Otherwise, the next day or wait until you go home. I like to think of hospital time as bonding time and see no need for lots of visitors.
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  • mroth91mroth91 member
    I told them all that they will have to wait until I'm atleast in a regular room before coming to the hosptial but will wait until they here from us for sure. I don't think I'll have to worry about my FIL he lives in a different state and doesn't know when he will be up for the holidays
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  • CmagnoCmagno member
    redfallon said:

    If you don't want people at the hospital then don't tell anyone you are in labor or at the hospital.

    This exactly. We limited who we told when I was in labor with DD and this time around we will be even more selective. Probably will only tell my parents (who are watching DD), my sister and best friend. I'm all about bonding, resting and not worrying about entertaining anyone. Everyone is thrilled when you tell them, yay baby is here and we are home safe and sound. It's hard to be mad at a new mom and dad, everyone is too happy ;-)

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  • WendolynHWendolynH member
    Well it really comes down to what you want... I made it clear to my in laws which are the only ones in the same state as us. That I don't want any visitors at the hospital. They got mad but this is the time for us to bond with our son. The more they pushed the more upset I got that they did not care about my wishes. So now I won't allow anyone to visit not even at my house until my baby is 2 weeks. I posted it on Facebook too, cause friends can be pushy too. But I have a strong personality so I'm sticking to my guns. At the end of the day. Your the parents so you must decide what will work for you.
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  • Hector33Hector33 member
    We are only allowing family to visit at the hospital. MIL will not be meeting LO until she is about 3 weeks old (her request, not ours) Not that it bothers us as she does not play a big part in our lives. Friends can wait until we get home and settled. We only have 1 friend who is very upset and annoyed at me for doing this to her and tells me on a daily basis how hurt she is and how we are shutting her out of the LO's life.
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