How do I tell strangers not to touch my belly without being rude?

HarmonyloveMj · October 2015

I attend a community college and the student body isn't that big. I have a few associates that my boyfriend does not feel comfortable with touching my belly. They would randomly just rub my belly. Should I just tell them that my bf doesn't like when people touch my belly?

kalenvan · October 2015

Just start rubbing their belly. Lol

JulieAMC · October 2015

^^^ Yup. Rub their belly and say, "Oh! Is this what we're doing now?". There are also shirts that say things like Hands Off The Bump!

dragonfly321 · October 2015

You should grab their boobs. If it's okay for them to violate your space, you should be able to grab theirs.

cbou · October 2015

I slap at their hands and give them a dirty look. Oh you don't want to be rude? That is what they are being when they touch you without permission!

Karen249 · October 2015

Good question! It is really awkward when people touch your belly and you don't want them to. Looking forward to hearing others' responses so we can all learn new strategies to avoid this annoying pregnancy challenge.

I wish I was more assertive bc there is absolutely nothing wrong saying directly "please don't touch me" but sometimes it's just hard to. We feel bad or rude and we shouldn't!

I have tried two different approaches and both kinda work... First. Say "oh please don't touch I'm tickleish and quickly move away" (usually they get the hint) ....second. Kinda weird but has worked too...say in a funny voice and with a funny face "NO TOUCH" with a finger wagging. They usually don't try again after that. But really if I could encourage you, just say directly "please don't" bc you (we all ) don't deserve to feel uncomfortable and don't owe anyone "an apology" for us not wanting their grubby hands on us.

xkatiekx · October 2015

I don't think it's rude to express concern with having your personal space invaded. If these are people you're familiar with you could just say "I'm not comfortable with my stomach being touched" or "please don't touch my stomach". It's a polite request and gets the point across I think.

mcklough · October 2015

from what you wrote are there certain people at school that you DO allow to touch your belly, but not others? I can see where that would be confusing. I'm a weirdo and if I saw someone else touching a belly to feel kicks or something I would probably want to join right in. (of course now I'd probably react differently after seeing how most people feel about the touching). Maybe it would be better to make a blanket "don't touch me in public rule" because that would probably cut down on it a lot.

It may have just been a choice of words that don't mean anything but you said that your boyfriend doesn't like certain people to touch you. Shouldn't that be up to you and not him?

ETA: I forgot to say that I would probably say "I'd rather you wait until I invited you to feel my belly" You may never invite them but it shows that they always have to get permission from someone before touching them.

22snc12 · October 2015

Isn't it rude that they are doing it without bothering to ask first?

wisco29 · October 2015

HarmonyloveMj said:
I attend a community college and the student body isn't that big. I have a few associates that my boyfriend does not feel comfortable with touching my belly. They would randomly just rub my belly. Should I just tell them that my bf doesn't like when people touch my belly?

Smack them back.... That's the only thing I have.

I set pretty good boundaries with dd so I hopefully wont have any issues this time but I usually back up away from them and make a face like I'm disgusted and annoyed by them because it's always someone I wouldn't even want I touch my arm!

Good luck

paytonpedro · October 2015

Just tell them "If you didn't put it there, don't touch it". Better yet get a shirt that says it!

shupertj09 · October 2015

My curling over like a cat to get my bump out of reach usually does that trick. Then I just say I'm really not comfortable with the whole "belly rub thing".

Achae · October 2015

Do you have a problem with it? Or your boyfriend? I don't see what boyfriend has anything to do with others touching your belly.

Kiek · October 2015

I tell them my placenta is in the front so they won't be feeling baby. Makes them really uncomfortable.

ashton2190 · October 2015

Since I'm still not showing a ton, I just tell people, that's not the baby, that's just me. They usually don't want to touch me after that lol

DrillSergeantCat · October 2015

I honestly wouldn't worry about being rude. If it bothers you, just tell them you don't want them rubbing you.

funkypineapple · October 2015

I would say they'd have to buy me dinner first because baby boy is lower than where they'd be rubbing.

I wouldn't really care about being rude as they are also being rude by touching you

thisusername · October 2015

I'd just punch them. That's not rude, right?

cMichelle0423 · October 2015

"Please don't rub my stomach."

Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean it's all of a sudden okay to violate your personal space. They wouldn't do that to someone who's not pregnant. So there's no reason for them to do it to someone who is.

LEAA14 · October 2015

cMichelle0423 said:
"Please don't rub my stomach."

Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean it's all of a sudden okay to violate your personal space. They wouldn't do that to someone who's not pregnant. So there's no reason for them to do it to someone who is.

This. I often have the feeling that if men were the ones who carried the babies people wouldn't be as comfortable touching them without an invitation. BUT since we're women and our bodies are public domain, people feel like it's open season.

MississippiCatfish · October 2015

Agree with PPs. "Please don't touch my belly" sums it up.

oxsarah7ox · October 2015

I agree with @Achae because I am confused. Are you bothered by it, or your boyfriend? If you aren't and/or are letting others, that could be quite confusing. If it bothers you I would definitely just let people know "Please don't, it feels kind of weird when others touch my belly." People don't take too much offense to it, from what I have seen. But for me personally, I have only had people ask me about touching before they did, except my boss which was uncomfortable.

mizz_tee08@yahoo.com · October 2015

Fortunately I haven't had random people coming up to me to rub my belly. But I'd have no problem telling them "Please don't do that". Even pre pregnancy I've always hated for people to touch me... it makes me uncomfortable. So what I've said in the past is just simply "I'm not comfortable with that" or "that makes me uncomfortable". That way people know I'm not being rude it's just that I feel violated. Just remember, it's your body and it's your baby. Just because people are intrigued by the bump doesn't mean you have to allow them access to touch it. And if it does come out rude oh well! Touching someone, pregnant or not, without invitation is rude!

flockofmoosen3 · October 2015

If you are uncomfortable with strangers touching your belly, u have every right to refuse the contact. U dont need to use ur boyfriend's feelings to validate yours. If u do this, you are telling ppl that you cant feel a certain way without his permission.

And of course, it is rude of strangers to touch you without your consent. Therefore, u should not feel like you're being rude if u tell them to stop. Be ur own person.

thisusername · October 2015

If your friends and coworkers are cheap like mine, this shirt might work! The people I know wouldn't spend a penny!

)

thisusername · October 2015

Sorry, more shirt spam. This one is better! (Yes I just bought this)

Sbaertson · November 2015

I yelled "No Touching" (from the Arrested Development jail scenes) the other day. That seemed to work well!

MusicalFamily · November 2015

It's a constant struggle of mine because I'm a high school teacher and if I walk down a hallway they all want to rub my belly. I constantly say stop or don't touch.

txbrideinblue · November 2015

It's simple.

You need to cultivate a strong resting bitch face game. Nobody will come near you.

thisusername · November 2015

@MusicalFamily so weird to hear because back at my high school kids were scared of the pregnancy bellies. Our teacher would feel a kick or something and go "ooh!" And grab her stomach, and everyone would flock to the back of the room like she had a gun. Her daughter just turned 7 today actually!..

mamacat315 · November 2015

I am sorry, but this thread is so weird to me. Just say, "Please stop touching me." It seems incredibly straightforward.

How do I tell strangers not to touch my belly without being rude?

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