I'm agreeing with @AmadorRose and I'll be the first to admit that my daughter has been spanked. Definitely not hard enough to leave a mark, though. I don't believe that stepping in was the best move to make in that situation. However, I agree with your general point. Maybe it's working in elementary schools that makes me jaded, but the behavior of kids these days (when did I turn 100 years old) is pretty bad. Not all, but a lot. Kids attempt things in school that I wouldn't have dreamed of. There is a general lack of respect for authority and an apathetic attitude towards work.
My UO: I don't like frosting. It just makes the cake taste bad. Yuck!
If I hadn't been sparked as a kid, I shudder to think how my life would have turned out. I'm stubborn and prideful - just like my dad. He knew nothing else was going to work because 1) I didn't have any toys to take away and 2) I liked doing chores. Also, have you read the story about the young teenage girl who broke a boy's nose for snapping her bra strap? She asked him to stop, asked the teacher to make him stop, and nothing happened. The school called the mother and tried to make it out to be the girl's fault. Long story short, I would be so proud of a daughter like that I'd pull her from school for a couple days to go anywhere she wanted to do whatever she wanted. 'Merica! Finally, frosting is disgusting. @pinottoparenthood can have all the frosting.
I work with children on a daily basis and don't have these issues with any of them. I have dealt with "behavior issued" children before (add, ADHD, ODD, etc) and I know they have random flare ups, but not on this level. He was upset and being completely ignored and it was getting worse, not better.
As to the comments made about me as a nanny, I have never hit a child, or even screamed at them. Not my place at all.
Again, I am sorry for offending everyone here. (And I wouldn't have spanked in that situation, he wanted attention.)
So you recognize that it was attention seeking behavior, yet you are having a go at the mom for ignoring him?! That's what you're supposed to do!! Lol. Ignore the bad behavior. Reward the good. Positive reinforcement. And btw unless they're throwing a shopping cart across the aisle and threatening to kill themselves with a produce bag: it's a tantrum. And it happens. But hey, at least you won the UO crown this week. Wear it proudly my friend.
I have an UO based on what @k&elizabeth said. I think that the situation in the school with officer fields is ridiculous. That girl was being defiant and there is more to the story that happened before not caught on tape. In addition, he did not trip her table back despite it appearing that way in the video. She was physically resisting him escorting her out (after not coming to verbal requests), and her own momentum caused her to table to fall backwards. There was a physicist who analyzed it and they spoke about it briefly on my local NPR station (I was driving so I didn't look up the actual article that this physicist said or I would share). I just think we missed the entire part of what happened before that warranted him to have to physically restrain her. From what I know, it is in our police (etc) authorities' to physically restrain an uncompliant person. I think it's ridiculous that he got fired and that there isn't more PR about what this girl did to warrant needing to be removed from the classroom. Now this girl is going to be so GD entitled knowing she basically got away with being an asshole.
First BFP 12/2012, MMC at 9 weeks
Second BFP 6/2013, resulted in DS, born 2/23/14 :-)
Third BFP 5/2015, natural MC at 6 weeks
Fourth BFP 8/2015, hoping for sticky little brother or sister to H!
Proud SAHM to our little monkey H.
Pro Vax, extended breasftfeeder, ring sling and stroller loving mama. I don't judge you unless you don't vaccinate!
@cmjenkies I'm so sorry to hear you've lost three of the most important women in your life. I can't imagine and definitely understand emotional connection you must have. I have an emotional connection to football because of my grandfather.
Glad to hear your team was good this year! The Mets were looking strong in the first 2 playoff rounds but not so much in the World Series so far!! Luckily my husband is a bigger football fan than baseball ALTHOUGH! he is going to a World Series game this weekend in NY. Pretty cool. Hope the Mets pull out a win, I know it would make his life!
My UO: I really don't like most pregnancy announcements. A lot of them creep me out or are so cheesy and overdone, I can't even.
Yaaaassss. But the thing I find the most irritating is the gender reveal party. I truly do not understand having a party for the sole purpose of telling your guests if your child is going to have a penis or a vagina. Is this information that requires a separate, specific social gathering? My fetus has a vagina, here's a pink cupcake! Also, a pink cocktail! Also, ballerinas and princesses and ruffles! Because VAGINA. Dude, I get it. Your kid is going to have female genitalia and will be expected to conform to old-fashioned gender norms. Best party ever.
QUOTE BOX FAIL!
I don't know how I missed this original UO but YES TIMES A THOUSAND. Those reveal parties have become seriously popular since DS was born (January 2011) and I just don't get it.
Agree it's dumb to have an entire party to reveal the gender, however we are doing somewhat of a reveal at thanksgiving with just our parents and siblings since we'll all be together anyway. We'll probably just bring a cake and the inside will be pink or blue. Just a little something to make it kind of fun. We had a miscarriage this spring and it has been extremely difficult for us to get excited this time around and I know it's be hard on our parents too. This will probably be the only type of "announcement" we do until baby is here and pics start popping up on Facebook thanks to family!
Thanks @spatter1, my aunt and grandma practically raised me after my mom passed when I was in grade school. They both died unexpectedly less than 2 months apart last year - one of them on the Sunday before my wedding. Needless to say, I miss them all terribly and the last year has been intensely rough. This pregnancy has been bittersweet because I wish they were here to share it with me - DS was the light of their lives and they would have been beyond excited to have another mini to love on. It's nice to share the things they loved and raised me on with my kiddos though. Makes me feel closer to them. Sigh..
On a less emotional muffin note - I have a bone to pick with the Mets after they outplayed and upset my Cubs last series. I thought they'd have a leg up on the Royals, but they're getting manhandled so far. Best wishes to your husband BUT I think he may be SOL with that one, KC is a force to be reckoned with. I'm 150% jealous he gets to see his team live in a WS game, I hope they win that one for him - that's a bucket list item for me.. Cubs gotta get there first though, haha. (
@spatter1 Oh sure, I mean I'm not saying that sharing the sex of your kid is, in and of itself, a symptom of unchecked narcissism. I'm planning to tell my family around the holidays, too! And I'm sure we'll do something cheesy. We've had several losses and it took IVF for us to conceive, so I totally understand what you're saying.
Just wanted to say GO ROYALS!!!!! I am loving them and everybody in KC is going crazy over them! Hope they win it this year!!!!
My UO is I hate the media. Always have and probably always will because i feel like all they care about is getting more followers and higher ratings. They dont care about what story they spread, how it hurts people, or even telling the full truth. They just tell enough to make it a controversial issue so that their ratings go up.
Geez, everyone sure ganged up on Knottie there. I don't understand why it's so wrong to say something when people are letting their kids be totally obnoxious. I rarely say things to people that annoy me in public but I always wish that I had the courage to instead of staying in silent misery and letting annoying people have their way. It sounds to me like everyone here thinks kids should be able to do whatever the hell they want and no one can say anything negative about it. How about the kid that threw their fast food garbage right in front of my house? I said something to her for littering and she talked back to me and her parents just glared at me and they all walked off leaving the trash. What about on the plane when some asshole kid keeps kicking the back of your seat? Just sit there and take it for 8 hours? If you don't want people to say anything, pay attention to what your damn kid is doing. It's called being conscientious.
Geez, everyone sure ganged up on Knottie there. I don't understand why it's so wrong to say something when people are letting their kids be totally obnoxious. I rarely say things to people that annoy me in public but I always wish that I had the courage to instead of staying in silent misery and letting annoying people have their way. It sounds to me like everyone here thinks kids should be able to do whatever the hell they want and no one can say anything negative about it. How about the kid that threw their fast food garbage right in front of my house? I said something to her for littering and she talked back to me and her parents just glared at me and they all walked off leaving the trash. What about on the plane when some asshole kid keeps kicking the back of your seat? Just sit there and take it for 8 hours? If you don't want people to say anything, pay attention to what your damn kid is doing. It's called being conscientious.
Pointing out--those examples you mention are things that affect you directly. This kid's tantrum didn't cause a blight on her property or personal discomfort--therein lies the difference.
Geez, everyone sure ganged up on Knottie there. I don't understand why it's so wrong to say something when people are letting their kids be totally obnoxious. I rarely say things to people that annoy me in public but I always wish that I had the courage to instead of staying in silent misery and letting annoying people have their way. It sounds to me like everyone here thinks kids should be able to do whatever the hell they want and no one can say anything negative about it. How about the kid that threw their fast food garbage right in front of my house? I said something to her for littering and she talked back to me and her parents just glared at me and they all walked off leaving the trash. What about on the plane when some asshole kid keeps kicking the back of your seat? Just sit there and take it for 8 hours? If you don't want people to say anything, pay attention to what your damn kid is doing. It's called being conscientious.
Pointing out--those examples you mention are things that affect you directly. This kid's tantrum didn't cause a blight on her property or personal discomfort--therein lies the difference.
What about the store workers that have to clean up the mess the kid makes? What if the store people interfered? Is that WRONG? What if Knottie had notified the store workers? Would that be WRONG? Where are the limits? I don't understand. The garbage was not on my property but it was near my property and I saw a child breaking the law. If I would say something to an adult for doing something themselves, why can you not say something if they are letting their kids do it?
We're not all going to agree here--seems like in this situation most people here wouldn't say anything. Some would, and you're gonna do what you're gonna do...just don't be surprised or offended if the other person tells you to fuck off.
Geez, everyone sure ganged up on Knottie there. I don't understand why it's so wrong to say something when people are letting their kids be totally obnoxious. I rarely say things to people that annoy me in public but I always wish that I had the courage to instead of staying in silent misery and letting annoying people have their way. It sounds to me like everyone here thinks kids should be able to do whatever the hell they want and no one can say anything negative about it. How about the kid that threw their fast food garbage right in front of my house? I said something to her for littering and she talked back to me and her parents just glared at me and they all walked off leaving the trash. What about on the plane when some asshole kid keeps kicking the back of your seat? Just sit there and take it for 8 hours? If you don't want people to say anything, pay attention to what your damn kid is doing. It's called being conscientious.
Because ignoring your child when they are having a meltdown is totally different than "letting your kids be totally obnoxious". And it's actually the correct thing to do in a situation like that (you can't exactly give time outs in a grocery store). Plus, it is never acceptable to tell another parent how to discipline their child. Ever. Your kids. Your rules. End of story. If you feel inclined to alert a member of staff that a 4 year old is having a meltdown in aisle 4, go for it. But I'm preeeettty sure the mother would have cleaned it up (or even better, waited until the kid calmed down and then made him clean it up himself, which would have been my strategy). As for an "asshole kid" kicking your chair on a plane for 8 hours, I think that's a little different that having to walk past a kid throwing a tantrum and deal with the outburst for 5 seconds while you try and find your brownie mix.
Look I'm really sorry I shared something as unpopular to have strangers hate me (who were not there to witness the actual event) and that I offended so many of you this deeply. I was legitimately trying help someone I saw struggling and it didn't come across that way when I typed it up. I neglected to say she wasn't even watching him, and was texting on her phone. I can not express how upsetting it is to see children doing so much to upset themselves to this point and mom isn't taking care of them. I didn't just walk up to the situation, I watched, and almost walked away, but didn't. I guess I should have just ignored it and moved on, but I truly hope if your children are being as destructive as he was being, you would step in. Children NEED their parents to teach them how to handle their emotions.
I work with children on a daily basis and don't have these issues with any of them. I have dealt with "behavior issued" children before (add, ADHD, ODD, etc) and I know they have random flare ups, but not on this level. He was upset and being completely ignored and it was getting worse, not better.
As to the comments made about me as a nanny, I have never hit a child, or even screamed at them. Not my place at all.
Again, I am sorry for offending everyone here. (And I wouldn't have spanked in that situation, he wanted attention.)
And here is the back peddling.
Understand that your post didn't make me hate you for what you said, rather it made me quite sad.
Based on the words you told us you used, there is no way that your intentions were to help. Between what you originally said and this follow up, it feels more likely that you wanted to step in and show her that you could be a better parent in that moment.
Back to what I said previously, you have no idea their history, what their day was like, who she was texting or why.
You work with children on a daily basis - great, that doesn't make you an expert on how to handle every child. There are many more situations/ issues/ developments/ illnesses than children with ADHD and ODD to consider.
Yes, I will agree that there are some oblivious and inattentive parents out there, but there is a much better way to handle the situation than you chose to. That was not setting a great example for the child.
Just remember, this could STILL easily be you. You won't be the perfect mom every day. There will be days you wish you could multiply yourself because you just need the help. You will be distracted from you child's immediate needs, it happens.
If you see something similar again, consider choosing better words with the mom. Don't step in and discipline someone else's child, try getting down on their level and talking to them, make a game out of the situation, etc.
I thought it was your house your rules, but when you're in public there are society's rules. What if you are at a restaurant trying to enjoy a dinner and someone's kids are yelling and running around and their parents are on the other side of the restaurant? Can you tell the kids to be quiet? Can you tell the parents their kids are ruining your night out? I really do not understand where you guys are getting this rule from. Is that not allowed? What if the kids do this at a movie and you can't even hear the movie? You can't say anything then but parents get all mad when companies talk about having child-free movie screenings or restaurants or flights? People can't have things both ways. You can't say anything? No wonder people want to exclude kids from public.
I thought it was your house your rules, but when you're in public there are society's rules. What if you are at a restaurant trying to enjoy a dinner and someone's kids are yelling and running around and their parents are on the other side of the restaurant? Can you tell the kids to be quiet? Can you tell the parents their kids are ruining your night out? I really do not understand where you guys are getting this rule from. Is that not allowed? What if the kids do this at a movie and you can't even hear the movie? You can't say anything then but parents get all mad when companies talk about having child-free movie screenings or restaurants or flights? People can't have things both ways. You can't say anything? No wonder people want to exclude kids from public.
I think it depends on the type of restaurant as well as the age of the kids and how obnoxious they're being. There's also a difference between courteously telling someone something that directly affects you versus a tabtruming toddler at a grocery store. If tantruning toddler is happening at a 5 star restaurant, then ask the host or waiter to ask them to remove child. If toddler is tantruning at red robin, smile sympathetically at the parent. My answer to your question is read the room, it's not rocket science, it's common sense. (Or should be, lol).
First BFP 12/2012, MMC at 9 weeks
Second BFP 6/2013, resulted in DS, born 2/23/14 :-)
Third BFP 5/2015, natural MC at 6 weeks
Fourth BFP 8/2015, hoping for sticky little brother or sister to H!
Proud SAHM to our little monkey H.
Pro Vax, extended breasftfeeder, ring sling and stroller loving mama. I don't judge you unless you don't vaccinate!
I thought it was your house your rules, but when you're in public there are society's rules. What if you are at a restaurant trying to enjoy a dinner and someone's kids are yelling and running around and their parents are on the other side of the restaurant? Can you tell the kids to be quiet? Can you tell the parents their kids are ruining your night out? I really do not understand where you guys are getting this rule from. Is that not allowed? What if the kids do this at a movie and you can't even hear the movie? You can't say anything then but parents get all mad when companies talk about having child-free movie screenings or restaurants or flights? People can't have things both ways. You can't say anything? No wonder people want to exclude kids from public.
Are you kidding?! I would love for there to be child free flights!! Then all the perfect, child free, super judgey people could get the hell off my flight and let me deal with my jet lagged, cranky asshole of a child in peace.
I thought it was your house your rules, but when you're in public there are society's rules. What if you are at a restaurant trying to enjoy a dinner and someone's kids are yelling and running around and their parents are on the other side of the restaurant? Can you tell the kids to be quiet? Can you tell the parents their kids are ruining your night out? I really do not understand where you guys are getting this rule from. Is that not allowed? What if the kids do this at a movie and you can't even hear the movie? You can't say anything then but parents get all mad when companies talk about having child-free movie screenings or restaurants or flights? People can't have things both ways. You can't say anything? No wonder people want to exclude kids from public.
First, I am all about businesses offering kid-free dining/ experiences; I get that people want adult only options. I have a 4yo and while we don't often get out without him, it IS nice to have the option of going to a kid-free place.
Second, you are basically asking when can you step in in public when you feel that your experience is being ruined? I don't believe that you should ever discipline someone else's child without their parent's permission. You don't have that right.
In a restaurant, unless it were late at night (after most children are in bed) I would expect it to be loud and for there to be a lot of activity. If the kids are running all the way to the other side of the dining, I would expect the staff of the establishment to handle that, not you. Same with a movie, I would expect the staff to handle it and if you don't think the staff is aware, then simply mention it to them.
I thought it was your house your rules, but when you're in public there are society's rules. What if you are at a restaurant trying to enjoy a dinner and someone's kids are yelling and running around and their parents are on the other side of the restaurant? Can you tell the kids to be quiet? Can you tell the parents their kids are ruining your night out? I really do not understand where you guys are getting this rule from. Is that not allowed? What if the kids do this at a movie and you can't even hear the movie? You can't say anything then but parents get all mad when companies talk about having child-free movie screenings or restaurants or flights? People can't have things both ways. You can't say anything? No wonder people want to exclude kids from public.
First, I am all about businesses offering kid-free dining/ experiences; I get that people want adult only options. I have a 4yo and while we don't often get out without him, it IS nice to have the option of going to a kid-free place.
Second, you are basically asking when can you step in in public when you feel that your experience is being ruined? I don't believe that you should ever discipline someone else's child without their parent's permission. You don't have that right.
In a restaurant, unless it were late at night (after most children are in bed) I would expect it to be loud and for there to be a lot of activity. If the kids are running all the way to the other side of the dining, I would expect the staff of the establishment to handle that, not you. Same with a movie, I would expect the staff to handle it and if you don't think the staff is aware, then simply mention it to them.
Really? Never? Not if they are breaking laws? What if they are playing in a busy street and in danger? What if they are abusing animals? Or other kids? Fine, if I see kids doing something dangerous I'll be sure to look for their parents and ask for permission before telling them they should stop being morons.
And I wasn't backpedaling, but thanks for feeling sorry for me? I guess it's better than hoping the child I'm currently carrying has issues.
Seriously? I am assuming this was directed to me. I didn't say I felt sorry for you, I stated that what you said made me sad. Also, there was no need to add your second line. This and your post above (the line about calling you a monster which no one did or implied) are great examples of overreactions which leads me back to...
The summary of my posts: consider that the situation you are observing may not be what you think it is. Consider your words and actions in future situations, it will likely get you a better outcome and perhaps it will actually help the others involved as well.
I agree with the comments on growing a human and not complaining about your body changing . I actually still have a few stretch marks from having my first daughter who passed away and I won't even use cream on them to get rid of them I love them they are a reminder she existed to me . there's a saying in a goo goo dolls song "scars are suiveniers you never lose" . Appreciate you created life your body may not fully be the same I think that's what makes us real women personally .
Geez, everyone sure ganged up on Knottie there. I don't understand why it's so wrong to say something when people are letting their kids be totally obnoxious. I rarely say things to people that annoy me in public but I always wish that I had the courage to instead of staying in silent misery and letting annoying people have their way. It sounds to me like everyone here thinks kids should be able to do whatever the hell they want and no one can say anything negative about it. How about the kid that threw their fast food garbage right in front of my house? I said something to her for littering and she talked back to me and her parents just glared at me and they all walked off leaving the trash. What about on the plane when some asshole kid keeps kicking the back of your seat? Just sit there and take it for 8 hours? If you don't want people to say anything, pay attention to what your damn kid is doing. It's called being conscientious.
I understand what you are trying to say, but I think you have taken what some have said way out of proportion. In NO WAY did anyone say kids can do whatever the hell they want. The responses were more that Knottie handled the situation more aggressive than warranted. Her original post did come off entitled and condescending and I think that's where the problem ensued. It sounds pretty judgmental and entitled yourself to want to say something just because it's "annoying" to you. Kids are kids... Doesn't sit well with me to use "asshole" as an adjective to describe a child. If anyone ever used asshole to describe my child, I will go ape shit. Raising children is not black and white, and my apologies if that's not what you're meaning to come off like, but your responses sound like its very black and white. Yes, some parents are not attentive and do allow their children to misbehave in public. But that's not every parent, and as I said before, you never know if the child has an underlying issue. My godson is autistic, and based off what you and Knottie consider to be "bad behavior" then you would assume he is what you describe as an "asshole." But he's not. He's a very loving and sweet little boy, with his moments where it's difficult to get through to him. And if I EVER had anyone come up to me to tell me how to deal with my godson, there is no telling what I would do. My love for that little boy is so enormous that I will be damned if some pretentious ass wipe came up to me and tried to tell me how to handle him. Ps Knottie and rose shadow not calling either of you pretentious ass wipes.... Just someone sticking their nose in where it doesn't belong is a bit on the pretentious side.
@Knottie9983816 I seriously hope you get a high needs baby who you can't control at all and people approach you in the store telling you how disturbing your kid is. Wow. blockquote>
@Jules08 this was actually what I was referring to, specifically. I did misinterpret what you posted. My fault there.
I thought it was your house your rules, but when you're in public there are society's rules. What if you are at a restaurant trying to enjoy a dinner and someone's kids are yelling and running around and their parents are on the other side of the restaurant? Can you tell the kids to be quiet? Can you tell the parents their kids are ruining your night out? I really do not understand where you guys are getting this rule from. Is that not allowed? What if the kids do this at a movie and you can't even hear the movie? You can't say anything then but parents get all mad when companies talk about having child-free movie screenings or restaurants or flights? People can't have things both ways. You can't say anything? No wonder people want to exclude kids from public.
First, I am all about businesses offering kid-free dining/ experiences; I get that people want adult only options. I have a 4yo and while we don't often get out without him, it IS nice to have the option of going to a kid-free place.
Second, you are basically asking when can you step in in public when you feel that your experience is being ruined? I don't believe that you should ever discipline someone else's child without their parent's permission. You don't have that right.
In a restaurant, unless it were late at night (after most children are in bed) I would expect it to be loud and for there to be a lot of activity. If the kids are running all the way to the other side of the dining, I would expect the staff of the establishment to handle that, not you. Same with a movie, I would expect the staff to handle it and if you don't think the staff is aware, then simply mention it to them.
Really? Never? Not if they are breaking laws? What if they are playing in a busy street and in danger? What if they are abusing animals? Or other kids? Fine, if I see kids doing something dangerous I'll be sure to look for their parents and ask for permission before telling them they should stop being morons.
If they are breaking laws you call the police. That's their job to handle, not yours.
If they are playing in a busy street, that's an entirely different situation than running around in a restaurant.
Roseshadow873 I've been the person on the plane (while holding my daughter in my lap) that had their seat kicked almost the entire time while the kid flipped out and whined and screamed it was not fun but imagine how not fun it is for the mom . you think they love their child acting like that ? She apologuized to me when the plane landed and we were getting off I just laughed and said oh my gosh no I'm so sorry she laughed too . it's life I'm sure that kid isn't like that everyday was just having a bad day I hope but even if he was like that everyday I would commend that parent for having to go threw it and being calm about it all that's hard it's a lot easier when your only having to be around it for a short time .
@Knottie9983816 I seriously hope you get a high needs baby who you can't control at all and people approach you in the store telling you how disturbing your kid is. Wow. blockquote>
@Jules08 this was actually what I was referring to, specifically. I did misinterpret what you posted. My fault there.
Geez, everyone sure ganged up on Knottie there. I don't understand why it's so wrong to say something when people are letting their kids be totally obnoxious. I rarely say things to people that annoy me in public but I always wish that I had the courage to instead of staying in silent misery and letting annoying people have their way. It sounds to me like everyone here thinks kids should be able to do whatever the hell they want and no one can say anything negative about it. How about the kid that threw their fast food garbage right in front of my house? I said something to her for littering and she talked back to me and her parents just glared at me and they all walked off leaving the trash. What about on the plane when some asshole kid keeps kicking the back of your seat? Just sit there and take it for 8 hours? If you don't want people to say anything, pay attention to what your damn kid is doing. It's called being conscientious.
I understand what you are trying to say, but I think you have taken what some have said way out of proportion. In NO WAY did anyone say kids can do whatever the hell they want. The responses were more that Knottie handled the situation more aggressive than warranted. Her original post did come off entitled and condescending and I think that's where the problem ensued. It sounds pretty judgmental and entitled yourself to want to say something just because it's "annoying" to you. Kids are kids... Doesn't sit well with me to use "asshole" as an adjective to describe a child. If anyone ever used asshole to describe my child, I will go ape shit. Raising children is not black and white, and my apologies if that's not what you're meaning to come off like, but your responses sound like its very black and white. Yes, some parents are not attentive and do allow their children to misbehave in public. But that's not every parent, and as I said before, you never know if the child has an underlying issue. My godson is autistic, and based off what you and Knottie consider to be "bad behavior" then you would assume he is what you describe as an "asshole." But he's not. He's a very loving and sweet little boy, with his moments where it's difficult to get through to him. And if I EVER had anyone come up to me to tell me how to deal with my godson, there is no telling what I would do. My love for that little boy is so enormous that I will be damned if some pretentious ass wipe came up to me and tried to tell me how to handle him. Ps Knottie and rose shadow not calling either of you pretentious ass wipes.... Just someone sticking their nose in where it doesn't belong is a bit on the pretentious side.
Thank you for writing this. So much of this is what I wanted to say but couldn't state as well as you just did.
This got kind of out of hand. I understand what you guys are saying but I have way too much experience being around terrible kids (the horror!) with parents who don't care. Some parents literally do not discipline their kids or care if they bother people. It is very frustrating and is why I thought for years that I never wanted to have a child. I'm not advocating doing any extreme disciplining of other people's kids but I think there are situations where it is permissible to tell them to "knock that crap off." I get it, you guys disagree so I am done arguing. That is indeed an unpopular opinion.
I'm agreeing with @AmadorRose and I'll be the first to admit that my daughter has been spanked. Definitely not hard enough to leave a mark, though. I don't believe that stepping in was the best move to make in that situation. However, I agree with your general point. Maybe it's working in elementary schools that makes me jaded, but the behavior of kids these days (when did I turn 100 years old) is pretty bad. Not all, but a lot. Kids attempt things in school that I wouldn't have dreamed of. There is a general lack of respect for authority and an apathetic attitude towards work.
My UO: I don't like frosting. It just makes the cake taste bad. Yuck!
Long story short, I would be so proud of a daughter like that I'd pull her from school for a couple days to go anywhere she wanted to do whatever she wanted.
I had a similar conversation with Dh. A coworker of mine had his son out on an OSS for fighting a kid who was bullying him. The son punched the bully and was the one in trouble. The school did nothing even though they were aware of the bullying. I would gladly use my PTO to reward my kid.
I'm agreeing with @AmadorRose and I'll be the first to admit that my daughter has been spanked. Definitely not hard enough to leave a mark, though. I don't believe that stepping in was the best move to make in that situation. However, I agree with your general point. Maybe it's working in elementary schools that makes me jaded, but the behavior of kids these days (when did I turn 100 years old) is pretty bad. Not all, but a lot. Kids attempt things in school that I wouldn't have dreamed of. There is a general lack of respect for authority and an apathetic attitude towards work.
My UO: I don't like frosting. It just makes the cake taste bad. Yuck!
Long story short, I would be so proud of a daughter like that I'd pull her from school for a couple days to go anywhere she wanted to do whatever she wanted.
I had a similar conversation with Dh. A coworker of mine had his son out on an OSS for fighting a kid who was bullyiung him. The son punched the bully and was the one in trouble. The school did nothing even though they were aware of the bullying. I would gladly use my PTO to reward my kid.
I'm not encouraging violence by any means but both H and I learned early on that if you don't stand up for yourself, no one will. Maybe that's jaded but it's life; I'd rather have a kid with some intestinal fortitude than one who allows him or herself to be victimized -- so I'll probably get a passive, everyone love everyone, anti-violence kind of kid. Haha
@Knottie9983816 I seriously hope you get a high needs baby who you can't control at all and people approach you in the store telling you how disturbing your kid is.
Imo this is not cool. High needs , to me, means something could be wrong with the baby. The only thing I ever wish for an expectant mother is a healthy baby.
@Knottie9983816 I seriously hope you get a high needs baby who you can't control at all and people approach you in the store telling you how disturbing your kid is.
Imo this is not cool. High needs , to me, means something could be wrong with the baby. The only thing I ever wish for an expectant mother is a healthy baby.
Knottie9983816, I hated the tone of your original post and I don't think you have redemeed yourself. But I absolutely wish you a healthy pregnancy and a healthy child.
I think chocolate is gross! I tolerate it when it's mixed with other tastier things (Butterfingers, etc), but I'd prefer to live in a world without it!
Wooo! Packer Fan here too!! Sorry about your MIL. It seems like she's doing it to razz you. OMG that's going to be THE game to watch! That will be a nail biter for sure!!
I never make DH watch, but I'll miss walking dead for this game. And WHEN GB wins, I'll immediately text her to remind her that her grandbaby is a winner.
TWD is my jams. I refuse to believe you know who is dead... I'm 90%sure he's not
@Knottie9983816 I seriously hope you get a high needs baby who you can't control at all and people approach you in the store telling you how disturbing your kid is.
Imo this is not cool. High needs , to me, means something could be wrong with the baby. The only thing I ever wish for an expectant mother is a healthy baby.
High needs is not special needs. High needs means the baby needs more attention than most. It means maybe they're higher maintenance, maybe they have a harder time at day care, maybe they don't sleep through the night until later. It does not mean that a child has any developmental special needs, and in no way does it mean the child has different medical needs.
@Knottie9983816 I seriously hope you get a high needs baby who you can't control at all and people approach you in the store telling you how disturbing your kid is.
Imo this is not cool. High needs , to me, means something could be wrong with the baby. The only thing I ever wish for an expectant mother is a healthy baby.
Knottie9983816, I hated the tone of your original post and I don't think you have redemeed yourself. But I absolutely wish you a healthy pregnancy and a healthy child.
^see above for clarification/definition of high needs, @sarahufl
First BFP 12/2012, MMC at 9 weeks
Second BFP 6/2013, resulted in DS, born 2/23/14 :-)
Third BFP 5/2015, natural MC at 6 weeks
Fourth BFP 8/2015, hoping for sticky little brother or sister to H!
Proud SAHM to our little monkey H.
Pro Vax, extended breasftfeeder, ring sling and stroller loving mama. I don't judge you unless you don't vaccinate!
It's okay everyone, soon technology will have advanced so far that we will be able to have everything we could possibly need dropped at our doors, then we will never have to take our kids out of the house again! Problem solved for everybody, regardless of their opinions on this thread.
Scary thing is that could be reality in the future. YIKES! Happy Friday y'all!
It's okay everyone, soon technology will have advanced so far that we will be able to have everything we could possibly need dropped at our doors, then we will never have to take our kids out of the house again! Problem solved for everybody, regardless of their opinions on this thread.
Scary thing is that could be reality in the future. YIKES! Happy Friday y'all!
I'm actually pretty into this idea. We get most of our produce through a CSA, we're planning to buy a chest freezer so we can buy our meat in bulk, and we can get dry goods/etc. at Costco or through Amazon. So the need for us to shop is rapidly dwindling, and I think that's awesome--more time to hang out with each other and with our kid!
Re: Unpopular Opinions
Also, have you read the story about the young teenage girl who broke a boy's nose for snapping her bra strap? She asked him to stop, asked the teacher to make him stop, and nothing happened. The school called the mother and tried to make it out to be the girl's fault. Long story short, I would be so proud of a daughter like that I'd pull her from school for a couple days to go anywhere she wanted to do whatever she wanted. 'Merica!
Finally, frosting is disgusting. @pinottoparenthood can have all the frosting.
Glad to hear your team was good this year! The Mets were looking strong in the first 2 playoff rounds but not so much in the World Series so far!! Luckily my husband is a bigger football fan than baseball
I don't know how I missed this original UO but YES TIMES A THOUSAND. Those reveal parties have become seriously popular since DS was born (January 2011) and I just don't get it.
Agree it's dumb to have an entire party to reveal the gender, however we are doing somewhat of a reveal at thanksgiving with just our parents and siblings since we'll all be together anyway. We'll probably just bring a cake and the inside will be pink or blue. Just a little something to make it kind of fun. We had a miscarriage this spring and it has been extremely difficult for us to get excited this time around and I know it's be hard on our parents too. This will probably be the only type of "announcement" we do until baby is here and pics start popping up on Facebook thanks to family!
On a less emotional muffin note - I have a bone to pick with the Mets after they outplayed and upset my Cubs last series. I thought they'd have a leg up on the Royals, but they're getting manhandled so far. Best wishes to your husband BUT I think he may be SOL with that one, KC is a force to be reckoned with. I'm 150% jealous he gets to see his team live in a WS game, I hope they win that one for him - that's a bucket list item for me.. Cubs gotta get there first though, haha.
My UO is I hate the media. Always have and probably always will because i feel like all they care about is getting more followers and higher ratings. They dont care about what story they spread, how it hurts people, or even telling the full truth. They just tell enough to make it a controversial issue so that their ratings go up.
Understand that your post didn't make me hate you for what you said, rather it made me quite sad.
Based on the words you told us you used, there is no way that your intentions were to help. Between what you originally said and this follow up, it feels more likely that you wanted to step in and show her that you could be a better parent in that moment.
Back to what I said previously, you have no idea their history, what their day was like, who she was texting or why.
You work with children on a daily basis - great, that doesn't make you an expert on how to handle every child. There are many more situations/ issues/ developments/ illnesses than children with ADHD and ODD to consider.
Yes, I will agree that there are some oblivious and inattentive parents out there, but there is a much better way to handle the situation than you chose to. That was not setting a great example for the child.
Just remember, this could STILL easily be you. You won't be the perfect mom every day. There will be days you wish you could multiply yourself because you just need the help. You will be distracted from you child's immediate needs, it happens.
If you see something similar again, consider choosing better words with the mom. Don't step in and discipline someone else's child, try getting down on their level and talking to them, make a game out of the situation, etc.
Second, you are basically asking when can you step in in public when you feel that your experience is being ruined? I don't believe that you should ever discipline someone else's child without their parent's permission. You don't have that right.
In a restaurant, unless it were late at night (after most children are in bed) I would expect it to be loud and for there to be a lot of activity. If the kids are running all the way to the other side of the dining, I would expect the staff of the establishment to handle that, not you. Same with a movie, I would expect the staff to handle it and if you don't think the staff is aware, then simply mention it to them.
The summary of my posts: consider that the situation you are observing may not be what you think it is. Consider your words and actions in future situations, it will likely get you a better outcome and perhaps it will actually help the others involved as well.
I understand what you are trying to say, but I think you have taken what some have said way out of proportion. In NO WAY did anyone say kids can do whatever the hell they want. The responses were more that Knottie handled the situation more aggressive than warranted. Her original post did come off entitled and condescending and I think that's where the problem ensued. It sounds pretty judgmental and entitled yourself to want to say something just because it's "annoying" to you. Kids are kids... Doesn't sit well with me to use "asshole" as an adjective to describe a child. If anyone ever used asshole to describe my child, I will go ape shit. Raising children is not black and white, and my apologies if that's not what you're meaning to come off like, but your responses sound like its very black and white. Yes, some parents are not attentive and do allow their children to misbehave in public. But that's not every parent, and as I said before, you never know if the child has an underlying issue. My godson is autistic, and based off what you and Knottie consider to be "bad behavior" then you would assume he is what you describe as an "asshole." But he's not. He's a very loving and sweet little boy, with his moments where it's difficult to get through to him. And if I EVER had anyone come up to me to tell me how to deal with my godson, there is no telling what I would do. My love for that little boy is so enormous that I will be damned if some pretentious ass wipe came up to me and tried to tell me how to handle him. Ps Knottie and rose shadow not calling either of you pretentious ass wipes.... Just someone sticking their nose in where it doesn't belong is a bit on the pretentious side.
If they are breaking laws you call the police. That's their job to handle, not yours.
If they are playing in a busy street, that's an entirely different situation than running around in a restaurant.
Edited for spelling mistakes and to tag @Knottie9983816 and @Muggle lover
^see above for clarification/definition of high needs, @sarahufl
Scary thing is that could be reality in the future. YIKES! Happy Friday y'all!