How and when to announce to friends struggling with infertility?

Re: How and when to announce to friends struggling with infertility?

• bbiutmcph member

  October 2015

  Do it via email or text whichever is more common in your circle. Don't do it in person as they would then have to put on a brave face and I can say there is nothing harder than that even when it's a close friend. Do it so they can cry yell scream or whatever they need to do in private. Hearing another person is pregnant when you aren't and can't be is hard. Understand if they need space. It's better they hear it from you but also in a way they can privately deal with it. Then I advice waiting until they bring the pregnancy into conversation before you do. It sounds like you guys have close relationships and I always like to hear when people are looking out for other people's feelings in these situations. Good luck .

  
  
  

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• MissMommyToYou member

  October 2015

  Just because they're unable to conceive right now doesn't mean they won't be happy for you if they really love you they'll be just as excited as you are I lost my baby at 7 weeks it was hard for me but when my sister told me she was pregnant to my surprise I was actually super excited well this is just from my experience you should know your friends better than anyone when it's the right time to announce your little bundle of joy you'll know it

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• suchaglencoco member

  October 2015

  100% agree with @bbiutmcph. Tell them in a way they can process privately without putting on a brave face and let them come to terms with it on their own. And tell them personally, not just in a group text message.
  It may take them awhile to warm up to an excited level so try hard not to take it too personally. It may hurt that they need space or they don't bring it up right away but it's nothing against you. Infertility is a terrible and constant emotional struggle that is exhausting and can take its toll on numerous relationships. Just know that deep down, they're happy for you, they just need time to let those feelings surface.

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• MamaNicoleof3 member

  October 2015

  bbiutmcph said:

  Do it via email or text whichever is more common in your circle. Don't do it in person as they would then have to put on a brave face and I can say there is nothing harder than that even when it's a close friend. Do it so they can cry yell scream or whatever they need to do in private. Hearing another person is pregnant when you aren't and can't be is hard. Understand if they need space. It's better they hear it from you but also in a way they can privately deal with it. Then I advice waiting until they bring the pregnancy into conversation before you do. It sounds like you guys have close relationships and I always like to hear when people are looking out for other people's feelings in these situations. Good luck .

  I agree with this as well. I had a horrible MC last year that ended with me almost bleeding to death. Hearing about anyone's pregnancy, let alone a good friends', was heartbreaking. Give them the space they need, and try not to take it personally if they need some distance for a bit.
  
  THANK YOU for being so sensitive to their feelings! You're a wonderful friend

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• goldie987 member

  October 2015

  I'm going to have to side with the PPs here, tell them before they hear it from someone else, but do it in a text or email so they can respond as they need to and don't bring it up until they do. This is a really tough situation but I do agree that it's the best way to go about it.

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• vdestefano916 member

  October 2015

  Thanks everyone! I appreciate all the advice!

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• CamiSelene member

  October 2015

  Just jumping in to say thank you for being sensitive to you friends' needs and pain. The advice some of the PP's have given is the exact same I would have said. This is the same reason I won't be announcing via Facebook. You never know who is dealing with loss/infertility. For close friends a simple email or text is the perfect way to approach it.

  2 angel babies Jan 2015 and Nov 2015
  BFP Sept 2016
  Fingers crossed for a sticky rainbow baby!
  

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• kaila1980 member

  October 2015

  you just need to tell them in the regular way- be happy but not to happy. not telling then also looks bad

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