Have you guys seen these?

MouseMama817 · October 2015

My DH stumbled upon these and showed them to me. Both had me absolutely balling my eyes out. So poignant and wonderful.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Me9yrREXOj4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2K18y1W2Lek

rrcameron21 · October 2015

Yes!!! I love them both!!

beemaya83 · October 2015

I hadn't seen #2. I feel judged when I pull out my formula and bottles especially at family events. People are still surprised I don't breast feed......it wasn't a choice!

ashleymc09 · October 2015

My engagement and wedding rings don't fit anymore and I haven't gotten them resized yet, so I've had disapproving glances from little old ladies wondering where my rings are lol. Even if I weren't married it doesn't matter and it's nobody's business! It's pretty annoying when people and other moms do this.. Although I'm guilty of judging before thinking..it definitely is really easy to do!

virginiaunicorn11 · October 2015

I don't know if I live in a liberal place or I just don't give a F, but I can't tell you of a single encounter where I felt judged. Well once, an old lady pulled the Moby back and said LO couldn't breathe, but I laughed my ass off.

I tend to think people can't make you feel anything without your permission, but maybe I'm lucky. I think formula companies sponsoring ads about judgment actually perpetuate this myth of mommy wars. I hear a lot about them but only in the media...

So I'm not a fan of these. But if it helps women feel more secure or better about their choices, then I'm all for it.

MouseMama817 · October 2015

I felt judged from the moment I became pregnant, even though I was conforming with all that was clearly expected of me. I'm 25, have been with my husband for 10.5 years (married for 3), but I look very young. When we went for our first prenatal appointment, several people on staff asked if our pregnancy was planned (it was and we were praised for this in the MD office) and I would always catch people checking my finger for a wedding ring. I'm always asked if we're breastfeeding (we are) and our WIC office is constantly making me come in to see a LC to check on my progress. The pediatrician, WIC people, my midwife, and various strangers always praise me when I say that yes, we're BF. "You're a good mommy." And what if I wasn't? Then I'm a bad mommy? We were in Target yesterday and DH was laughing at all the women who would look at our baby, then look me up and down (checking on my appearance?). It's just so clear how much pressure people put on new moms regarding things that are nobody else's business. It's maddening.

KaLikeAWind · October 2015

I haven't seen the second commercial, but I've seen the first probably 500 times. I'm so damned sick of that commercial. And i have to watch it a gazillion more times, even.

Edit, gif changeup

caitlincunn · October 2015

I'm 21, picture me and my fiancé when my 5 year old was a baby.. Got a lot of stares. Our parents were surprised we planned this pregnancy. We figured we either were having a wedding first or baby. We were both in school full time and didn't have time to plan a wedding so we decided to have another baby first. We already did things "backwards" so why not Continue haha.

MouseMama817 · October 2015

mellymar said:
I haven't seen the second commercial, but I've seen the first probably 500 times. I'm so damned sick of that commercial. And i have to watch it a gazillion more times, even.

Edit, gif changeup

Is it on tv? I only have Netflix so I'm in a bit of a (blissful) bubble. I forget how small the television repertoire can be!

47923ang · October 2015

Maybe it's because I'm an old lady, but I don't give a crap what people think of me. I'm sure I'm being judged, but I don't even notice, nor do I care.

KaLikeAWind · October 2015

messymolly08 said:

mellymar said:
I haven't seen the second commercial, but I've seen the first probably 500 times. I'm so damned sick of that commercial. And i have to watch it a gazillion more times, even.

Edit, gif changeup

Is it on tv? I only have Netflix so I'm in a bit of a (blissful) bubble. I forget how small the television repertoire can be!

I enter a contest that requires me to view the video for an entry

MouseMama817 · October 2015

Oh I see. But at least it's funny!

alcrimmins · October 2015

I've only felt judged once and I was 39 weeks pregnant. My wedding rings no longer fit and an old lady came up to me at the grocery store, looked at my hand and then clucked her tongue at me all disapprovingly. I was highly hormonal and I let her know that I have been married to my husband for 6 years. I was upset until I got home and then I got over it. I've never felt judged since then.

Sammy K · October 2015

I had one "friend" who loved to tell me how I was burping my baby wrong, or his diaper was too tight or I just HAVE to do xyz, or she couldn't believe I would abc, etc. She's the kind of girl who is a size 2 and complains about how big her thighs are. STFU. I just let her slip out of my life and haven't talked to her in over a year. Problem solved.

virginiaunicorn11 · October 2015

messymolly08 said:
I felt judged from the moment I became pregnant, even though I was conforming with all that was clearly expected of me. I'm 25, have been with my husband for 10.5 years (married for 3), but I look very young. When we went for our first prenatal appointment, several people on staff asked if our pregnancy was planned (it was and we were praised for this in the MD office) and I would always catch people checking my finger for a wedding ring. I'm always asked if we're breastfeeding (we are) and our WIC office is constantly making me come in to see a LC to check on my progress. The pediatrician, WIC people, my midwife, and various strangers always praise me when I say that yes, we're BF. "You're a good mommy." And what if I wasn't? Then I'm a bad mommy? We were in Target yesterday and DH was laughing at all the women who would look at our baby, then look me up and down (checking on my appearance?). It's just so clear how much pressure people put on new moms regarding things that are nobody else's business. It's maddening.

This is what I mean. If someone tells me I'm a good mommy, I don't think judgment. I think, "Damn straight!"

Come to think of it, I get a lot of what you're describing but it doesn't really register. Again, not saying you're wrong to feel the way you do, or my way is better. Judgment implies a level of caring that I just don't have. It just doesn't cross my mind to feel judged. People's comments aren't about me, they're about whatever issue the commenter has. I don't feel judged, I feel like a member of society who encounters other people, who sometimes say weird things. Meh.

ashleymc09 · October 2015

Yeah there's only been a couple older ladies I've noticed look at my ringless hand, but the most judgmental/annoying mom has been my husband's aunt who has been pretty condescending about how to burp the baby and about how we don't take LO to church. She also has told me that I need to have LO on a sleep schedule and that I needed to start her on cereal 2 months ago, and switch to formula (back when I was breastfeeding). But yeah I don't care what she thinks about me as a mom but it still makes me really uptight when I am around her.

henrytviii · October 2015

I lost my wedding ring in 2007. I've never felt judged and I've never noticed anyone glancing at my finger. Maybe I am just oblivious . . .

beemaya83 · October 2015

ashleymc09 said:
My engagement and wedding rings don't fit anymore and I haven't gotten them resized yet, so I've had disapproving glances from little old ladies wondering where my rings are lol. Even if I weren't married it doesn't matter and it's nobody's business! It's pretty annoying when people and other moms do this.. Although I'm guilty of judging before thinking..it definitely is really easy to do!

Omg how funny you mentioned this @ashleymc09 . Mine don't fit either. I bought a $10 dollar knockoff which I stopped wearing because one of the stones fell off!!!

ETA: gosh after reading previous comments I guess I care too much about what people think. I need to work on that.

KaLikeAWind · October 2015

Regarding judgement, my hands also swelled enough to not wear my wedding ring the last 8 or so weeks of my pregnancy and I couldn't get it back on until my 6w PP visit.
First off, if people were looking at my hand for a ring, IDGAF. And second, if I had seen it (them looking) I probably would have said something smart ass. Like I found out I was pregnant after an alien abduction, or that I knew that the father was ONE of the guys from The Red Hot Chili Peppers, I just didn't know which.

Random strangers can judge away - I'm never going to see them again. And people I know can judge away, too - I'm judging their judgey-ness. Bottom line - I don't care what people think. They're not living my life.

awolfff · October 2015

Love the videos! I hadn't seen the second one...thanks for sharing!! Only my hair ties still fit me..I hate not being able to fit in my pre-pregnancy clothes or my wedding ring. I also cannot stand the judgement. For me it seems to come from people that I care about more than strangers. I give LO mostly breastmilk, but we sometimes have to give him formula. The weird thing here is that my family seems to push the formula more than the breastmilk- I was expecting it to be the other way around. My grandma made a comment- "you're STILL giving him breastmilk????". Uh ya?? Conversely, I have gotten the whole "breast is best" lecture when I was making the baby a bottle at a restaurant. It was a close family friend and totally inappropriate...she suggested I go hide in some corner to give him my boob. I thought "no lady, that's where YOU should go". It annoyed me..but in the end I just viewed it as ignorance. DH's family all just assume I give him ebf for whatever reason (jk it's probably because I used the needing to feed him excuse to get extra breaks from the inlaws...oops!)

7425cait · October 2015

I'm with the others. Maybe I'm oblivious, or just don't care. I know I'm doing the best I can for my baby. My MIL has made me question some things, but I never felt judged.

aj1327 · October 2015

I think I'm my own worst critic and probably judge myself WAY more than others judge me.

Sammy K · October 2015

I think some of the IDGAF comes with age. I know several of the pp are more "mature" like myself (33 over here). If I was a mom 10 years ago I would have been more sensitive to comments. I'm at the point in my life, I just don't deal with that crap anymore. If it comes from family, I smile and nod. Real friends don't judge. Everyone else can f-off.

KarasTwin · October 2015

I don't like being without my ring, but if I forget, oh well, no one else's damn business. I am almost 31 and I am at the point of not caring. I'm doing a damn good job raising my kid (not bragging, just saying, DH and I are both really trying). I work with a girl who has a baby about 1 month younger than lo and she cries all the time, coworker will randomly ask me if my boy cries a lot and looks mad when I say no. I'm not sure how,much of it is our parenting and how much is baby, but people need to get over the jealous/judgy crap. Worry about your own family.

ChardeeMacDennis · October 2015

I might have felt judged with the first, I don't remember. But I find that the more kids I have the fewer fucks I give. About everything, really.

dancegurl1118 · October 2015

I'm either too oblivious or don't care about judgement. Then again I was the one not giving a fuck about breastfeeding in public without a cover so it's probably a mix of both. If someone wants to judge anything I'm doing, let them. I criticize myself enough, I don't need to care about what anyone else says.

ahall0358 · October 2015

I'm 21 and my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and people are really surprised to learn that our pregnancy was planned! I was diagnosed with PCOS last January and was told that I would never be able to have children. The first time we TTC was successful! I've been judged many times but it honestly doesn't bother me. You never know what situation someone is going through.

lovethatcolosun · October 2015

I'm a STM (37 yo) and I'm in the IDGAF category. I breast feed in public, sometimes without a cover. Like yesterday when I had to whip out my boob in the middle of the pumpkin patch and walk around feeding her while DS picked out a pumpkin and had a meltdown about who got to pull the wagon. If someone was judging I had no idea. I don't have enough energy to waste it on caring about what others think. I think the attitude comes with age and experience. I also hear that this is one of the reasons your 40's are awesome. You care less and less about what others think and truly embrace who you are on a deeper level.

KaLikeAWind · October 2015

Sammy K said:
I think some of the IDGAF comes with age. I know several of the pp are more "mature" like myself (33 over here). If I was a mom 10 years ago I would have been more sensitive to comments. I'm at the point in my life, I just don't deal with that crap anymore. If it comes from family, I smile and nod. Real friends don't judge. Everyone else can f-off.

I was also thinking that the IDGAF comes with age (37 here). I was noticing a pattern as well as the 'mature' posters giving less crap.
@lovethatcolosun I saw that gif too, and would have used it, but the version I saw didn't say 'bothers'

virginiaunicorn11 · October 2015

I think I would worry and care more if I didn't have the support from this board, actually. I don't have many friends with kids, and none local, so without this place, I'd probably be in the dark and lost...

queequeg09256 · October 2015

I hadn't seen either of these but I actually took away something else. In the 2nd one the gender neutral mom talks to the other about pregnancy lost. I have several dear friends who have had miscarriages and I think she probably described it perfectly like part of your soul is gone. And it was that statement that made me look at these a little different. I try not to care about the judge people but I do want to care about the millions of women who have struggled to have their little bundles. So for that I want to be the person who says to every mom you're doing a great job, rather you use formula, bf, stroller, work, carry, pump whatever. You care about your kid and that is truly all that matters.

MouseMama817 · October 2015

@lovethatcolosun your gif is priceless

MouseMama817 · October 2015

virginiaunicorn11 said:
I think I would worry and care more if I didn't have the support from this board, actually. I don't have many friends with kids, and none local, so without this place, I'd probably be in the dark and lost...

This is a great point. I have 2 friends with children. 1 lives up in NC, the other is here in FL with me but we are on vastly different levels. She's married but they aren't faithful and go out partying every weekend. Not my style. So this community is a big source of mommy advice and reassurance. Any time I mention something about leaps, development, parenting ideas, etc, DH says "where'd you hear that? The Bump?" Actually, yes I did and thank goodness for it!

queequeg09256 · October 2015

I would also agree with you guys being awesome! I mean I've found so many great references help and just general sympathy! It's nice to talk to other people about dh being dumb or when something my boob is doing this weird thing, or should I panic if lo does such and such because I feel like I should panic.... I also like that we have the comfort of our computers to chat sounds weird but I'm a pretty anti-social person in real life and it's nice to have a group I can chat with at no set time or place, or that requires a bra or pants.

KaLikeAWind · October 2015

queequeg09256 said:
I'm a pretty anti-social person in real life and it's nice to have a group I can chat with at no set time or place, or that requires a bra or pants.

Indeed.

KonaCoffeeBean · October 2015

I like the second video as kind of a collage of different mothering experiences. The first video just pisses me off. I don't need a formula company to explain to me that I should treat people with basic humanity.

HoosOnFirst · October 2015

This is me. And I think some of you guys too!

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/c1/e3/ab/c1e3ab4a82a80d7097c37abb1e77c798.jpg

Sammy K · October 2015

@hoodoll82 @mellymar I saw on FB a long time ago:
Introverts unite! By ourselves, in our own home.

ciennah99 · October 2015

I have noticed that theme. I can be kind of an outgoing introvert at times but definitely an introvert just the same.

hoodoll82 said:
This is me. And I think some of you guys too!

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/c1/e3/ab/c1e3ab4a82a80d7097c37abb1e77c798.jpg

virginiaunicorn11 · November 2015

This cracked me up!! (SATIRE alert!) And I'm guilty as charged on a few (cue my righteous indignation on #6, lol):

https://www.scarymommy.com/how-to-be-a-crunchy-mom-in-12-easy-steps/

ashleymc09 · November 2015

@virginiaunicorn11 That's hilarious! I've been guilty of thinking #4, and #7 is exactly how I feel when I read EBF all over someone's post haha (which is jealousy bc it didn't work out for us lol)

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