I was pretty pissed off when we told my MIL that we were expecting and she jumped on the "grandma shower" thing right away. She is a teacher and said that they do it all the time and she was looking forward to getting stuff. 1) MY mom will be doing most sitting for us as she is retired and lives much closer. 2) I don't know these people and would never put them on my invitation list let alone ask for gifts. 3) MIL also said she and SIL (who responded with " oh god, my ovaries hurt. Why would anyone want a baby? I prefer my dog. ") would throw us a shower the week before my due date and if the babies are here then "everyone can see the newborns", and why not just make it a diaper shower since her co-worker who just had twins (#2&3) said that's what SHE needed most after I made two quilts for MIL to gift her. Oh and we HAVE to play games because that's "how you give gifts to your guests for coming".
She also keeps trying to name my babies.
I love my MIL but she is driving me crazy. I am sure it is because these will be her only grandkids since SIL hates kids.
Dear Jesus, Please don't let my MIL hear about grandma showers. I think you know I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut after everything else she's done.
But seriously, is this real life? If my crazy in laws decided to do this and then got mad at me for not gking, I don't think I'd handle it as well as you are. I'd probably have made SIL cry some more. My MIL announced my pregnancy and the gender before I did. I was fighting mad with her, this would just be the icing on the cake for me. She doesn't even talk to me, ask about the baby or doctor visits, but yet tells my husband she wants to be involved. Yeah, I'm with you, I wouldn't go to this event. That's just awkward in every way.
I was pretty pissed off when we told my MIL that we were expecting and she jumped on the "grandma shower" thing right away. She is a teacher and said that they do it all the time and she was looking forward to getting stuff.
1) MY mom will be doing most sitting for us as she is retired and lives much closer.
2) I don't know these people and would never put them on my invitation list let alone ask for gifts.
3) MIL also said she and SIL (who responded with " oh god, my ovaries hurt. Why would anyone want a baby? I prefer my dog. ") would throw us a shower the week before my due date and if the babies are here then "everyone can see the newborns", and why not just make it a diaper shower since her co-worker who just had twins (#2&3) said that's what SHE needed most after I made two quilts for MIL to gift her. Oh and we HAVE to play games because that's "how you give gifts to your guests for coming".
She also keeps trying to name my babies.
I love my MIL but she is driving me crazy. I am sure it is because these will be her only grandkids since SIL hates kids.
What the ENTIRE f***? So she get's a shower and you get a diaper shower combined with a sip and see? NO. Just ALL the way NO. As for the teacher thing, yeah we don't all do grandma showers. Doesn't happen in my school anyway. I'm sorry your MIL and SIL are so rude and self centered. Bless you, because I'd have lost it.
Dear Jesus,
Please don't let my MIL hear about grandma showers. I think you know I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut after everything else she's done.
But seriously, is this real life? If my crazy in laws decided to do this and then got mad at me for not gking, I don't think I'd handle it as well as you are. I'd probably have made SIL cry some more. My MIL announced my pregnancy and the gender before I did. I was fighting mad with her, this would just be the icing on the cake for me. She doesn't even talk to me, ask about the baby or doctor visits, but yet tells my husband she wants to be involved. Yeah, I'm with you, I wouldn't go to this event. That's just awkward in every way.
Wait wait wait wait WAIT...she did what? That's terrible. Is this your first baby? I'd be LIVID. I'm sorry you have to deal with such bs. To be honest, if I were OP, I wasn't going to such and event whether I was available or not. It's tacky and rude. Plus, I'd find it hilarious if my MIL did such a thing as she wouldn't see the baby that often to need all those gifts that she was asking for. As for the SIL, that's her bed and she can lay in it. My husband would support me on this too. As for wanting to be involved, but the whole not speaking to you thing...that makes NO SENSE. What is wrong with people?!
Not only is it my first, this is the first I've made it this far in a pregnancy. I've had 5 miscarriages all during the first trimester. I've had to see a specialist and have 2 surgeries to help with carrying this miracle. We asked her to wait until she saw me announce it to say anything, but told me it's her grandchild and she should be able to announce when she's ready. Yeah, it's been fun dealing with her and my SIL.
@vltallent213 GTFOH! She did that? EWWWW that's disgusting. I'm having a mood swing and irrational thoughts, that I will share, just thinking about it. My husband would have to pray to every God and religious deity known to man that I did not lose it on my MIL if she did that. She'd also have started a WAR. Straight up and down WAR. I'm usually not petty or into such things when it comes to real life and family, but no... that is beyond overstepping boundaries. She straight up violated. She'd have a snowball's chance in HELL in being included in anything else and my husband know's that my response to anything with her would be to KISS MY A**. My husband would also have lost his ish on her too and his sister. That's obnoxious and disgusting. I am so so so sorry. I'm here if you ever want to talk. Feel free to PM me. I can't believe some people are like that. WOW. Just WOW.
ETA: That she can KISS MY A** not for him to do that.
Lol, it's ok because I'm having the last laugh. No one knows our baby girls name except for me and my husband. We decided we want to keep that a secret until she's born. MIL texted my husband and told him we are killing her and this is her first granddaughter and she wants to have outfits monogrammed. I busted up laughing when he told her that she's our first daughter and that trumps what everyone else wants or thinks they are entitled to with her. He had had with her too amd knew of he didn't say it I certainly would. His sister and mother have since tried to get us to tell at least the initials. I might have went for that had they been pleasant beforehand, bur instead I'm digging my heels in and told them they can know that when she's born.
This is one of the best, and most painful, threads I have ever read on The Bump. I even mentioned this story to friends in real life at lunch.
It is so awful and "out there" that you almost want to think that it can't be true, and yet it so completely fits with how thoughtless others can be. Especially relatives who feel entitled.
In other words: OMFG.
Cannot believe what a good attitude OP has about this. Need to send @ChiccoBeanz to do a national tour for misbehaving grandmothers.
@alanna3622 lol thank you for your vote of confidence in me. I literally had the same reaction you did. I spoke to my family and coworkers about this. We were all like WTAF? Some of the women on this thread and OP are blessed with patience and such sweet demeanors. I could NOT and would not deal with such psychosis. My husband said he'd stand by me in such situations as well. It's just SO nuts and disgusting to me how these WOMEN think it's okay to treat other women, especially family. It's mind boggling. There needs to be a thesis written on this.
Update... I'm fairly certain I got myself uninvited. It's been two plus weeks and I still don't have my invitation. Lol! I guess that solved this problem. Whoops!
My MIL and I have always kind of had a rocky history dating back to before I was even engaged, but now she is throwing "me" a baby shower, and told me I could "bring whoever I want" but she's inviting all these people-mostly her friends whom I've never met- and some relatives on hubbys step-dads side... And I know it's going to be so awkward! At least it's not technically a grandmother shower but I still don't feel comfortable going to a party for "me" and getting gifts when I won't know anyone there! When I got weird about it MIL said "it's okay they all know Wil" (hubby) but it's a traditional women only shower so it's not like he'll even be there. I don't even want to be around my own friends anymore let alone hers! I guess I'll just have to grin and bear it but if anyone can help me at least see some humor in the situation it'd be appreciated!
Update: I did end up getting invited! Still can't go. It's this weekend. The drama got worse briefly because they actually invited MY MOTHER to the "grandma shower" for my mother in law. (Yes, they invited the one grandma to bring a gift and celebrate the other grandma...) My mom was able to laugh it off and is actually going to go (and be a fly on the wall for me)!
Update: I did end up getting invited! Still can't go. It's this weekend. The drama got worse briefly because they actually invited MY MOTHER to the "grandma shower" for my mother in law. (Yes, they invited the one grandma to bring a gift and celebrate the other grandma...) My mom was able to laugh it off and is actually going to go (and be a fly on the wall for me)!
Lurking. Omg. This is too much!! I can't wait to hear the scoop!!!
Update: I did end up getting invited! Still can't go. It's this weekend. The drama got worse briefly because they actually invited MY MOTHER to the "grandma shower" for my mother in law. (Yes, they invited the one grandma to bring a gift and celebrate the other grandma...) My mom was able to laugh it off and is actually going to go (and be a fly on the wall for me)!
I have never heard of such a thing. And to be perfectly honest I think its gross. YOU are having a baby. YOU. Well you and your husband. Like way to take something that should be about you and yours husband and make it totally about someone else (in this case the MIL in question).
I'm getting frustrated with my mom's thinking that the baby is "ours" and her friends utter excitement for "her" - but that is all somewhat to be expected and all harmless enough, just annoying to me.
I think I'd blow a gasket here. And then yes - I'd make my husband take care of it.
Wow. Sounds like she (the MIL) makes everything about her in every situation more than likely.. And this is just another opportunity for her to be the center of attention. Eventhough YOU are carrying the baby she is taking ,in a sense, the credit. Its YOUR baby not hers. But she sees things alot differently smh. Im sorry you have to deal with this. Just note I wouldnt go, and i also wouldnt feel bad about it either. They started the drama in my opinion and set you up to fail. Its not on you. Try and enjoy this time all you can its your first baby and should be a good experience (not drama filled).
Re: Has anyone heard of a "Grandma Shower"?
1) MY mom will be doing most sitting for us as she is retired and lives much closer.
2) I don't know these people and would never put them on my invitation list let alone ask for gifts.
3) MIL also said she and SIL (who responded with " oh god, my ovaries hurt. Why would anyone want a baby? I prefer my dog. ") would throw us a shower the week before my due date and if the babies are here then "everyone can see the newborns", and why not just make it a diaper shower since her co-worker who just had twins (#2&3) said that's what SHE needed most after I made two quilts for MIL to gift her. Oh and we HAVE to play games because that's "how you give gifts to your guests for coming".
She also keeps trying to name my babies.
I love my MIL but she is driving me crazy. I am sure it is because these will be her only grandkids since SIL hates kids.
Please don't let my MIL hear about grandma showers. I think you know I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut after everything else she's done.
But seriously, is this real life? If my crazy in laws decided to do this and then got mad at me for not gking, I don't think I'd handle it as well as you are. I'd probably have made SIL cry some more. My MIL announced my pregnancy and the gender before I did. I was fighting mad with her, this would just be the icing on the cake for me. She doesn't even talk to me, ask about the baby or doctor visits, but yet tells my husband she wants to be involved. Yeah, I'm with you, I wouldn't go to this event. That's just awkward in every way.
It is so awful and "out there" that you almost want to think that it can't be true, and yet it so completely fits with how thoughtless others can be. Especially relatives who feel entitled.
In other words: OMFG.
Cannot believe what a good attitude OP has about this. Need to send @ChiccoBeanz to do a national tour for misbehaving grandmothers.