December 2015 Moms

Is anyone else getting scared?

So I've obviously always known that this baby has to come out but as I've just gotten pelvic pain shit has started to feel real and I'm like, Holy shit this baby has to come out. .... through my vagina, aaaarrrrgggghh. Anyone else having a shit is getting real moment about the actual birth?

Re: Is anyone else getting scared?

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  • Yeah, totally! I'm not wigging over the whole baby/vagina thing & maybe that's crazy of me. I get freaked out by other stuff, epidurals & IVs & episiotomies. Pelvic floors & abdominal walls. Everything about c-sections. The idea of a baby coming out of my vagina just seems like "Well, yeah, it's supposed to happen that way & it'll probably hurt like hell." But I started to freak during my childbirth class when we covered the other stuff. Also, I was regaled by wives of my man's friends with stories of all of their sections. One of the husbands talked about how he looked "behind the curtain." I'll spare you details, but I told my husband he had to stay on the head side of the curtain if we have to go there. I know there are benefits to all of the interventions, etc & I do just want the baby to come out healthy, but can't I just be freaked at the idea of these things without someone needing to convince me how it's "for the best," or "just wait, you'll want the epidural!" Anyone else just wish they could freak out a little bit to someone without them needing to "fix" the freak?
  • laura6006 said:

    @redfallon That really just depressed me... I don't want to feel my belly with no baby in it :(

    Same! I prefer my baby in my arms, but thinking of my empty belly makes me sad at the same time. Although... It will be nice to bend over again.

    And yes, I'm terrified! I managed to spend all pregnancy ignoring the fact that I'll have to birth this baby, but after my birthing class that all came to a head.

    I'm trying to remember that it's natural and I have no choice so no use in worrying. It works some of the time.
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  • @LMJL I think you read my mind.

    I'm also concerned about the recovery because you have so many options for delivery and pain management but dealing with recovery from a significant medical event and a newborn is scary.
  • I think it's fear of the unknown for me. How will I react to an epidural? What if my husband is gone when I go into labor? How in the heck is the weather going to be?! I'm learning to just go with the flow and know it'll all work out in the end!
  • kimsem96 said:

    So I've obviously always known that this baby has to come out but as I've just gotten pelvic pain shit has started to feel real and I'm like, Holy shit this baby has to come out. .... through my vagina, aaaarrrrgggghh. Anyone else having a shit is getting real moment about the actual birth?

    My thoughts exactly. So freaky!!!!
  • This is my second and I'm totally scared. With the first one i was scared, but she was also early and we had other things with her health to worry about so i didn't think about it too much. Now I'm thinking what if i have labor complications, what if something happens after, what if there are placenta pieces left in me that cause me to bleed, what if i have to get emergency c-section, episiotomy and all that jazz. So yes I'm freaking out too but i think like @redfallon said, the anticipation is probably worse than the actual being in it. 
  • This is my third and I'm still starting to get nervous and freak out a bit. I'm pretty sure it's normal!
  • I think it's totally normal to be a little freaked out. I think I'm past being nervous and just excited now. Csection is seduced for December 1. That's exactly 5 weeks... 35 days. We're all in the home stretch and about to meet our babies!!
  • STM here. With DS I was more excited to meet him than scared. Catheter wasn't painful at all for me but when they put that epidural in me... That needle has got to be the worst ever...but it did the trick!

    Sorry to freak you ladies out but I did end up having a 4th degree episiotomy which is the worst you can get. Doctor cut me from my vagina to the anal sphincter. I had to be induced at 41 weeks. Only one nurse the entire time during my labor and she came in and out of my room only 2 times. By the time I wanted to push the nurse told me NOT to and to wait on my OB to come which was only 2 mins later. Baby's heartbeat was dropping and was in distress and they wanted to do a csection. It was too late. DS was already in my birth canal and I had no choice but to push. I have a petite figure and small bump they all thought I would have a 6-7 lb baby. I could not push him out no matter how hard I tried so that's why they had to cut me so severely and pull him out using this vacuum like gadget. DS weighed 9 lbs even and all I got were sorries from the nurses and OB for yelling at me to push harder when I was trying my damn hardest.

    I blame myself for not finding a more genuine OB. I kind of just chose a doctor that was close to me and never developed a real attachment to her. She always got us in and out of appointments like herds of sheep. Lol. No third trimester ultrasound or anything. Baby was only measuring a week ahead at my 20 week scan.

    With this baby... I have no choice but to do a csection. If I tore again vaginally I will develop incontinence. I am so anxious about the surgery. I just don't know what to expect this time around.

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  • I'm starting to freak out about the urinary catheter they put in when you have an epidural. Had no idea before I got pregnant that this was even a thing!

    But in general, I'm feeling like once it's go time, I'll just have my eye on a prize.

    They'll put in the cath after the epidural so you should already by numb and not even feel it go in.
  • stlmomof2stlmomof2 member
    edited October 2015
    @pintobio if you gave birth to twins you can do this one!!! Holy crap I couldn't imagine birthing twins lol.

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  • I've gone from being TERRIFIED of birth to being so excited to finally have my baby in my arms. I think the more information I've gotten the more relaxed I feel. A lot of women told me oh don't think about it don't read about it. I don't work that way. I NEED TO KNOW what's up lol! And though I am nervous (normal) just being educated and knowing options and what ifs and all the things that could happen kind of relax me, kind of like okay I can handle it. I feel like being pregnant is the biggest feat in human biology and we are all so blessed to be able to do it and labor is just the awesome culmination of it all. Sure the circumstances may change (we discussed possible induction today with my OB for medical reasons so there goes my dream of zero interventions unless she decides to come earlier on her own)but keep and open mind and remember like a PP said keep your eye on the prize :)
    Lilypie Breastfeeding tickers
  • This is my first and I get butterflies in my stomach anticipating the big day and how this will work out with Christmas being my due date. I'm just praying over everyday to keep myself calm and in a good headspace.
  • This is my 9th baby and i just had my freak out moment today packing our stuff and organizing the room lol i don't thunk any amount of experience prepares you, as each birth is so different.
  • Yea I feel the same way the braxton hicks contractions are the worst but its preparing me and I'm going natural
  • I had that in work yesterday and my eyes must've widened a lot when I realised I'm actually going to have to give birth in 6 weeks because they customer I was serving was like "you okay?"
  • This is my 3rd and the part that has me scared is my 2nd one came at 36 weeks after they took me off medicine to stop contractions. And he came out not breathing. With this baby I have been on the progesterone shot since 20 weeks cause I started having contractions at 19 teen weeks. So I am scared that my last baby might come out not breathing. I just pray that this time I can make it full time and have a healthy baby boy.
  • Not me, i'm sooooooo excited and can't wait for labor day! I still have 9 weeks but so damn excited!
  • If you're getting scared the WORST thing to do is listen to other people's terrifying birth stories. I recommend the book: Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. The first half is positive birth stories and the second half is how to achieve them. There's also a really great TED Talk on her website. 


    Check it out and don't stress mama! You can do this!!
  • This is my 9th baby and i just had my freak out moment today packing our stuff and organizing the room lol i don't thunk any amount of experience prepares you, as each birth is so different.
    Hold on. You gave birth to NINE children? May I ask, were they all "natural births" or did you have any c-sections? Don't answer if you aren't comfortable. I am genuinely asking out of curiosity and have some follow ups, but only at your comfort level.


  • This is my 9th baby and i just had my freak out moment today packing our stuff and organizing the room lol i don't thunk any amount of experience prepares you, as each birth is so different.

    Hold on. You gave birth to NINE children? May I ask, were they all "natural births" or did you have any c-sections? Don't answer if you aren't comfortable. I am genuinely asking out of curiosity and have some follow ups, but only at your comfort level.

    Kind of curious myself. That is amazing.

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  • I have about 6 week left ( second baby) and am having a c-section, and am a little nervous. I had a c-section last time so I kind of k ow what to expect. More nervous about how I am going to manage having 2 kids:)


  • This is my 9th baby and i just had my freak out moment today packing our stuff and organizing the room lol i don't thunk any amount of experience prepares you, as each birth is so different.

    Hold on. You gave birth to NINE children? May I ask, were they all "natural births" or did you have any c-sections? Don't answer if you aren't comfortable. I am genuinely asking out of curiosity and have some follow ups, but only at your comfort level.

    First 4 were vaginal. #5 was a crash section...no pain meds and ended up having anesthesia awareness and got ptsd. Had zer intentions of anymorw children. Asked for tubes to be tied. They 'forgot'. I tried to sue but it never made it to court. Then i had an amazing vbac! Then a home birth (hbac) then was having another home birth and stalled so the midwife asked me to go to hospital. I was 5 cms. Got to hospital and in 3 hrs went to 9.5. The nurse got the dr he came in, heard i was a homevirth transfer and said he wasnt comfy doing a vaginal birth so they pushed her back inside of me and leaned me back ....waaaay back so she wouldnt come out. I will spare every one the horrible details but i almost died. Because a dr wasnt comfy. Now i am fighting for a vba2c. And she keeps flipping back n forth so i am terrified. :( i do my exercises and all. I am a mess and while i wouldn't change one single thing and this baby was a huge surprise as we were being careful and i was told i was menopausal...i am done as my family is complete. Bf got a promotion and we are good financially we would like to be able to save up more lol
    My 8 kids have two dads...two from my first ex and 6 from my second. (That's usually first questioned i am asked..how many fathers lol)
  • I'm not really scared about the birth. A little nervous about logistics of where and when labor will start.  Labor is no picnic. They call it labor for a reason! But it is also amazing and empowering.

    I am completely freaked out about having 3 children to care for, however. ;-)

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  • This is my 9th baby and i just had my freak out moment today packing our stuff and organizing the room lol i don't thunk any amount of experience prepares you, as each birth is so different.

    Hold on. You gave birth to NINE children? May I ask, were they all "natural births" or did you have any c-sections? Don't answer if you aren't comfortable. I am genuinely asking out of curiosity and have some follow ups, but only at your comfort level.
    First 4 were vaginal. #5 was a crash section...no pain meds and ended up having anesthesia awareness and got ptsd. Had zer intentions of anymorw children. Asked for tubes to be tied. They 'forgot'. I tried to sue but it never made it to court. Then i had an amazing vbac! Then a home birth (hbac) then was having another home birth and stalled so the midwife asked me to go to hospital. I was 5 cms. Got to hospital and in 3 hrs went to 9.5. The nurse got the dr he came in, heard i was a homevirth transfer and said he wasnt comfy doing a vaginal birth so they pushed her back inside of me and leaned me back ....waaaay back so she wouldnt come out. I will spare every one the horrible details but i almost died. Because a dr wasnt comfy. Now i am fighting for a vba2c. And she keeps flipping back n forth so i am terrified. :( i do my exercises and all. I am a mess and while i wouldn't change one single thing and this baby was a huge surprise as we were being careful and i was told i was menopausal...i am done as my family is complete. Bf got a promotion and we are good financially we would like to be able to save up more lol
    My 8 kids have two dads...two from my first ex and 6 from my second. (That's usually first questioned i am asked..how many fathers lol)

    Sorry that you had so many bad experiences! Is my memory feeling me or did you not say that your bf was cheating on you with his ex this whole time? Something about being with a boyfriend that's very controlling? And that you intended to leave as soon as you had the baby? Or was that another member?
  • Glad I'm not alone totally freaking out #:-S
  • I was the biggest wuss when it comes to pain but it honestly isnt that bad. Contractions suck i wont lie but the whole experience is so amazing that once the baby is out you forget you were even in pain. Honestly the worst part is the first post partum poop! Lol take your stool softeners ladies dont wait till your home to go. Trust me i did that with my first and ended up having to go standing up it was so painful!
  • @enigmaanjel ma'am my respects. I salute you! Hope you can achieve your vba2c.
    Lilypie Breastfeeding tickers
  • Thanks @CanadAli.  I'm tough so I know I'll be fine, but seriously it comes out through your vagina.......... and my Mum always said they were left in the cabbage patch!!!!
  • I've have my moments like that as well. Where I freak out and everything seems overwhelming and crazy. My husband and I did a 2 course birthing class and it helped so so much. A lot of the stuff they cover is stuff you hear about all the time but they do cover more in depth topics as well. I had a lot of questions/concerns about epidurals and the whole dilation process and I feel pretty comfortable now that I have the info I have. The "what to expect when you are expecting" books are great also.
    It also helps me to remember that when i am in the moment and baby is coming that all I have to do it take it one step at a time. One contraction at a time and at the end of it all I get my beautiful baby girl
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