WARNING this is long but I would be so very grateful for advice.
I posted this somewhere else before I realized this section was here.
I am going to be a new mom in March and DH and I are renting a farm house with a barn. He works from home doing data entry 10hourdays 4 days a week but the days rotate biweekly. It requires lots of focus but he can often hold conversations with me for a short amount of time. And browse the Internet a good amount as well.
I am a dog trainer and service dog trainer and basically the only active trainer in the local chapter of my company. It's a very small company with about 10 employees nationwide. The company pays for a good chunk of the rent here at the house because dogs come to stay with me to be trained and sometimes boarded. I also have some lessons here. Other lessons are in people's homes which are mostly within 30 minutes of me but the service dog clients can be 2-3 hours away so my whole day can be taken up with one or two lessons. We have a company car which saves the company money with all that driving.
After doing research I am realizing that I am probably not going to be able to do much more than help out with emails for the first month postpartum. But after that the company REALLY needs me for income and my "boss" although he's not really a boss said the company can't really afford to pay the rent if there are no dogs here. DH said he could help out with boarding clients that first month and I believe both our moms would take some time off to come help.
The next month I don't have a clue what we will be able to handle. Lately I may have 2-3 dogs training staying with me plus 1-3 lessons a day. I plan on doing most of my work on DH's days off, especially traveling lessons but let's say I had to go out to the barn to do a one hour lesson and leave LO within DH to keep an eye on while he is working. And then do some in-home training with the dogs staying with me for a couple hours a day while LO is napping. Does this seem feasible or stretching it. I could take part time pay temporarily to help out the company so that they don't take the car since that is difficult to afford without income coming in too.
Also at what age would this type of arrangement become easier due to a less frequent feeding schedule and what age would it become harder with moving crawling etc? I know I'll need daycare eventually but it will be hard to afford and my schedule is so sporadic I would really want a drop-in-when-needed type care.
Sorry again that this is so long but I really am desperate and at a loss. I'm meeting to have a discussion this week.
Oh and DH has a limited hearing so hoping to get my new dog up to speed on hearing alert skills to let DH know when the baby is crying but we will also be investing in a monitor.
Re: Two parents working out of home but not always FROM home. Desperately need advice
Now, when it comes to hit scheduling once baby arrives. Babies are so unpredictable. I think you are going to have a hard time fitting in training sessions while baby naps. You don't know how long baby will nap for. I think the arrangement you outlined above will be too stressful to manage. I would recommend getting childcare so you have some fixed days and hours for both you and your husband to work.
I think it's possible but will be stressful. Your body needs time. I know I was not allowed to return to work for at least 6 weeks to let my body recover. Since FMLA doesn't apply, you might be able to do short term disability. I imagine your OB doesn't want you to return too soon. Too much physical activity makes the bleeding worse.
@meghanjodino No offense taken! I totally agree! Hhe can do more than he says if he is on the Internet! I tell him this gently all the time and he gets defensive. I know he will step up for his future hockey star though
I was thinking I could do some training carrying LO and I did tell my "Boss" that my only real concern is what dogs we get. A big overpowering crazy dog will be difficult to manage but the puppy I have now would be a piece of cake. He seemed surprised that I wanted to go back to working full time ASAP and didn't want to be more of a full time mom. ( I guess I'm more like my workaholic mother than I thought) But when you get emails that the 8m old Puppy youve been working with finally alerted the a 6 year old boy's low blood sugar it makes all the stress 1000% worth it.
I just don't think you have any idea how hard life is with a newborn. You won't have any idea until that baby is here and I'm not trying to be negative but your life will be consumed by this baby, regardless of whether or not your husband helps.
I don't think anyone should try to work for at least 8 weeks after having a baby. Days are too unpredictable and you will be completely exhausted. Not only are you bleeding heavily, but you are sore, you are out of your mind from being tired and your hormones are all crazy. I personally could barely function after each of my kids were born. And I would NOT recommend wearing your baby in a carrier while you train a dog.
I'm sorry, not trying to be mean but your plans are just not realistic with a new baby and I think you will find that out when your LO is born. Trying to work so soon after having a baby is not a good idea even for a workaholic.
Then do your thing. Sounds like that was your plan all along so go for it.
DH's schedule is such that he works 4 days a week for 10 hours so 3 days off every week that he would watch LO and I could travel to lessons. He works every other weekend so in-laws/family/friends could watch LO then( I'd have a back up always if needed) and then I'd have my "weekends" Thursdays and Fridays since DH always works those days but rotates the other days of the week. But I may have 1-3 dogs to give basic care to on those "weekends" This leaves one day a week where either we both would be working or me doing light work with a couple lessons leaving LO with DH working at his desk or schedule them in the morning when he isn't working, or just sacrifice a day of pay.
I didn't mean to be so negative but it made me a little mad when I'm looking for constructive advice and someone says to just throw in the towel and give up. THAT, to me, is wasting the thread.
Many thanks again for the advice.
No one said that. Further proof you aren't really listening to what others are saying.
I do wish you luck when the baby comes and you find a balance.
not-trying=giving up
I guess I should clarify that as I have heard of many other mothers going back to work sooner than I will be, I am not considering soreness an fatigue a factor since, for many people, that factor is obviously feasible( yet difficult, I get that).
I am concerned about feasibility as far as time management goes such as awake/sleep feeding, changing, laundry. Is 1-1.5 hours, 2x a day to do lessons on-site too much to handle for DH working at his desk and will I be able to manage everything else on those days. ( which would be one day a week)
I am not trying to argue either and none of this really matters because again...you have NO idea what will happen until the day you bring that baby home.
I hear you talking about soreness and fatigue in such a nonchalant way and it sort of makes me laugh. I'm really not trying to be mean when I say that but you will see. Oh honey, you will see.
All you are thinking about is work, work, work but that is not what you should be thinking about right now. In my opinion at least.